[House_Rulez]

Well I'll just go ahead be honest about this.

I've been thinking over every night, every day actually on the values of friendship for a while. How I abused it a lot. I really didn't have much friends ever since I was little and growing up. I guess I took it very lightly. And some people told me, I wasn't able to accept that I did have a friend. I mean sometimes I would lie to people to like me. It's pretty pathetic, and that lie did build up, and eventually they did found out who I really was.
And they would ask, "Why'd you do that man?". They'd feel betray I'd tell 'em why. And they'd never could accept it. And some of those who fell victim to my lies, kind of bullied me in high school and made a fool out of me. And it kind of prevented others from giving me an opportunity or chance to let them get to know me.
You know I think it had a lot to do with my views on friendship at first. I mean I bet it can really save your skin someday. And help nurture and encourage you back to health. And I don't mean friends speaking as pub buddies or your smoking buddy, which I wasted my life away having those redundant and boring conversations.
I just so built up on trying to find others approval and recognition.
And I find more ironic that people dislike who I am before they get to know me - or is i in my head? I ge that disgusted look, the attitude. And I somehwo accept that. I'm just naturally not liked for reasons I don't know.

That's why i have this really upset anxious look. I try to avoid being outside and stuff. I don't really fit in any crowd. Hell. I'm questioning why I'm doing this. To get pity. No. Just putting it off my chest. Not like things will get better. I already heard words people behind the screen and it hasn't resulted or amounted to anything that would help.

So what's your story?

Are they necessary assets to your life?
Or are they just there to ease your boredom? To help you make feel your worth something? Or are you just waiting your turn to talk again?

[Tamago86]

I think they are necessary..I think a lack of socialization and friends is the cause of a lot of problems people have today. If you want a friend you have to be a friend

[AngieK]

trying to find others approval and recognition

It's human, you know, to want to be accepted. But really, I think the problem boils down to how you view yourself and how much you are willing to work for friendships.

First off, based off your post I feel like your self esteem isn't very high. If you cannot love yourself how can you expect others to love you. In any case, it seems as if you are really scared of friendship. You messed up in high school and you know it. But I think instead of trying to avoid socializing you should try to come to terms with it so you can move on. I know that it's easier said then done, but life isn't easy. That's just how things are.

That brings me to my second point. Friendships are hard work. There is no easy way in. If you want to make friends and actually keep them, you, as well as them, have to pool in a lot of effort.

Any who, I think I'm just pointing out the obvious. I'm not quite sure where I was going with all this. I'm sort of a scatterbrain so I forgot my point within all the rambling. v_v"

Humans are social creatures so it's safe to say that having relationships and socializing is an important part of life. Why is solitary confinement treated as one of the highest forms of punishment? (Wasn't there some psychological study about what happens to people when they don't socialize?)

In any case, friends are an extremely important part of my life. Actually, my mother told me that when i was young I used to be extremely depressed because nobody liked me. I didn't have any real friends and the people I associated with would only use me for school work or as a punching bag when they were angry. When she told me I must say I was quite surprised. I mean, looking at my life now, I am truly grateful for each and every person I know, even the so called drinking/smoking buddies (not that I smoke but you get the point). Every conversation, as stupid and pointless as it may seem, adds up. I mean, I've gone through enough periods in my life where I had no one to talk to about how boring my day was or how much I suck at cooking to know what it feels like to be alone. And knowing that, I'm content with having those conversations.

I guess to answer your question my answer is yes. In my life they are necessary. They are essential. Without them, I would not be able to lead a happy and fulfilling life. And it's not because I live for them. No. I live to fulfill my life, my own dreams and aspirations. But without their love and support I wouldn't be the person I am today. If I never learned to care about them, to worry about them, and to let them worry about me, I wouldn't be where I am today.

[Melitus]

It's human, you know, to want to be accepted. But really, I think the problem boils down to how you view yourself and how much you are willing to work for friendships.

First off, based off your post I feel like your self esteem isn't very high. If you cannot love yourself how can you expect others to love you. In any case, it seems as if you are really scared of friendship. You messed up in high school and you know it. But I think instead of trying to avoid socializing you should try to come to terms with it so you can move on. I know that it's easier said then done, but life isn't easy. That's just how things are.

That brings me to my second point. Friendships are hard work. There is no easy way in. If you want to make friends and actually keep them, you, as well as them, have to pool in a lot of effort.

Any who, I think I'm just pointing out the obvious. I'm not quite sure where I was going with all this. I'm sort of a scatterbrain so I forgot my point within all the rambling. v_v"

Humans are social creatures so it's safe to say that having relationships and socializing is an important part of life. Why is solitary confinement treated as one of the highest forms of punishment? (Wasn't there some psychological study about what happens to people when they don't socialize?)

In any case, friends are an extremely important part of my life. Actually, my mother told me that when i was young I used to be extremely depressed because nobody liked me. I didn't have any real friends and the people I associated with would only use me for school work or as a punching bag when they were angry. When she told me I must say I was quite surprised. I mean, looking at my life now, I am truly grateful for each and every person I know, even the so called drinking/smoking buddies (not that I smoke but you get the point). Every conversation, as stupid and pointless as it may seem, adds up. I mean, I've gone through enough periods in my life where I had no one to talk to about how boring my day was or how much I suck at cooking to know what it feels like to be alone. And knowing that, I'm content with having those conversations.

I guess to answer your question my answer is yes. In my life they are necessary. They are essential. Without them, I would not be able to lead a happy and fulfilling life. And it's not because I live for them. No. I live to fulfill my life, my own dreams and aspirations. But without their love and support I wouldn't be the person I am today. If I never learned to care about them, to worry about them, and to let them worry about me, I wouldn't be where I am today.

^
Wow all this time i believe I don't need approval from anyone to do what I want, friends was to me, just a hindrance to my life. I always let them go if they are using me as a punching bag, or just entertainment. Looking back I was quite cold and heartless, didn't really care what happen to us if we won't stay friends forever, but at the same time they tried their best to work it out with me, and there's me cutting them off everytime because of a past minor incident. "working" for friendship never occurs to me until now... errr...

[AngieK]

^
Wow all this time i believe I don't need approval from anyone to do what I want, friends was to me, just a hindrance to my life. I always let them go if they are using me as a punching bag, or just entertainment. Looking back I was quite cold and heartless, didn't really care what happen to us if we won't stay friends forever, but at the same time they tried their best to work it out with me, and there's me cutting them off everytime because of a past minor incident. "working" for friendship never occurs to me until now... errr...

haha I'm not claiming that you need approval from people to be satisfied with life. But really, if you do care about someone, then it's not that you need their approval, it's that you want to become the type of person that they can be proud of. Perhaps that's just me. But like, take my family for example. They love me dearly and have always done their best, though somewhat unconventionally, to give me the best life they can provide. For that, I am grateful. And to show them that I care about them as well, I work hard to become a good person in the future so that someday I can give someone else just as much, maybe more, of what was given to me. Does that kind of make sense?

And I don't think you should be used as a punching bag by your friends by the way. v_v" I think you may have read my thing wrong. I am saying that I've already been used by people before but all it's done is make me cherish the people who truly care about me.

Friendship is like any relationship. Think about a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If you come across a problem with your significant other, don't you guys try to 'make it work' by working past your problems, etc etc? Friendship is the same. In general, any relationship with another human being takes work.

[Tennyo]

That brings me to my second point. Friendships are hard work. There is no easy way in. If you want to make friends and actually keep them, you, as well as them, have to pool in a lot of effort.

I agree wholeheartedly! I, personally, am not one to like being alone. I don't need anyone's approval and I don't necessarily need to be surrounded by people, I just prefer slower paced, intimate things. Hanging out with a friend for a day rather than say dancing in a club, that is what I mean.

I am a go-getter when it comes to my friends. I am known for always planning, because I love planning get togethers, outings, parties, etc. and sometimes my friends leave it to me to plan things. I usually don't mind, but sometimes it takes its toll and I stay away from people at times. I get fed up, feeling that they would be perfectly fine letting a friendship drift away rather than picking up the phone and setting up a simple lunch date or movie night. It is always left to me and I get a tad resentful sometimes because no one wants to put forth the effort but me. And then I get over it, because it's not worth losing friends over, they are just lazy mofos.

This is why a great deal of my friends I have known since middle school. I like to stay in touch and I hate to give up on anything.

I agree with the above poster that your self-esteem isn't the greatest. Maybe you feel like the person must dislike you in order for them to get a real sense of who you are. You need to be more confident with yourself. Sometimes people don't need lots of friends, one person who understands them can be enough. You just need to find that comfort level.

[sugarcube]

As much grief as I've dealt with because of friends.. I'd have to say that friendship is absolutely necessary in life. Humans are social creatures. Just make sure that your friends have something to offer (and vice versa), good relationships stem from both parties being able to benefit each other. If they leech off of you or use you as a punching bag, they're not your friends.

Maybe it's different for some people but I get really depressed when I don't see my friends for a long period of time, being alone sucks.

I am a go-getter when it comes to my friends. I am known for always planning, because I love planning get togethers, outings, parties, etc. and sometimes my friends leave it to me to plan things. I usually don't mind, but sometimes it takes its toll and I stay away from people at times. I get fed up, feeling that they would be perfectly fine letting a friendship drift away rather than picking up the phone and setting up a simple lunch date or movie night. It is always left to me and I get a tad resentful sometimes because no one wants to put forth the effort but me. And then I get over it, because it's not worth losing friends over, they are just lazy mofos.

This is why a great deal of my friends I have known since middle school. I like to stay in touch and I hate to give up on anything.

That's how I am. I'm always in charge of getting everyone together and now that I've been so busy, I stopped caring. My outlook is that if they're too lazy to pick up the phone or send a frickin' Facebook message then clearly our friendship doesn't mean much to them. I'm more pissed off than I should be but I never confront them about it. It's just hard for me to get over it because I'm stubborn as hell & prone to holding grudges. lol

[Prot]

Friendship is two ways, and requires maintenance from both parties. There are a lot of people in the world so maybe you just need to strike conversations and meet people until you find the right people that are your friends. I think its a near necessity to have friends in life. Imagine a world where only you exist, and everything works the way you want it. That world is called dreaming. You can only have development through resistance such as having someone to bounce ideas, thoughts, etc off of. Your existence is only confirmed by another, otherwise you might as well sleep all day and dream.

[Searesrayne]

I agree friendship is two ways... doesn't help when one person doesn't even try....

sometimes I rather not have friends... relationship(friendships) are complicated... but damn in this world you'd need so called friends to get anywhere(think of jobs... most ppl get jobs thru ppl they know...)

[Pogichinoy]

Social interaction is a necessity in life.

I enjoy the various people I befriend and build friendships with. I treasure the important ones.

Real world interaction with friends are necessary for social development. But whatever floats your boat, people are different.

[KING TUM]

I believe social interaction is key to keep one sane I guess. We all go through different types of relationships but making yourself happy first is crucial. Just be very careful who you choose as close friends...

[BAZINGA!]

I believe social interaction is key to keep one sane I guess. We all go through different types of relationships but making yourself happy first is crucial. Just be very careful who you choose as close friends...

YEP!

I LOVE my friends. I don't know what I would do without them. It took me a while to find people I really honestly love to be around all the time. I'd be one crazy pinkberry on soompi all day.


oops.. i'm already like that

[LittleM]

Well I'll just go ahead be honest about this.

I've been thinking over every night, every day actually on the values of friendship for a while. How I abused it a lot. I really didn't have much friends ever since I was little and growing up. I guess I took it very lightly. And some people told me, I wasn't able to accept that I did have a friend. I mean sometimes I would lie to people to like me. It's pretty pathetic, and that lie did build up, and eventually they did found out who I really was.
And they would ask, "Why'd you do that man?". They'd feel betray I'd tell 'em why. And they'd never could accept it. And some of those who fell victim to my lies, kind of bullied me in high school and made a fool out of me. And it kind of prevented others from giving me an opportunity or chance to let them get to know me.
You know I think it had a lot to do with my views on friendship at first. I mean I bet it can really save your skin someday. And help nurture and encourage you back to health. And I don't mean friends speaking as pub buddies or your smoking buddy, which I wasted my life away having those redundant and boring conversations.
I just so built up on trying to find others approval and recognition.
And I find more ironic that people dislike who I am before they get to know me - or is i in my head? I ge that disgusted look, the attitude. And I somehwo accept that. I'm just naturally not liked for reasons I don't know.

That's why i have this really upset anxious look. I try to avoid being outside and stuff. I don't really fit in any crowd. Hell. I'm questioning why I'm doing this. To get pity. No. Just putting it off my chest. Not like things will get better. I already heard words people behind the screen and it hasn't resulted or amounted to anything that would help.

So what's your story?

Are they necessary assets to your life?
Or are they just there to ease your boredom? To help you make feel your worth something? Or are you just waiting your turn to talk again?

you sound like such a lonely person. actually you sound like you're scared to make friends since that'll open you to being hurt, like you were in the past. that's life you know. you'll find ppl who will accept you and who won't judge you, an then you'll find people who will be there for you no matter what. the only way to have a true friend is to be one yourself. be ready to reach out, to help, to smile. it's only when you give that you get something back in return. you won't always get your friendship returned, but in the long run you'll be able to touch the hearts of some people. gosh i sound so preachy hahaha

[HERMIT]

I guess "asset" is an interesting way of describing them. Some appreciate while others, sadly, depreciate.

[UglyIsBeautiful]

Like someone said above, friendship is a two-way thing. It doesn't really work if you're the one who wants to be friends with someone and puts in all the effort and the other person doesn't.

I find thats often been the case in my life. I don't know. Call me a pushover or something. But I often find I'm the generous one. The tolerant one with the open heart. But somehow, I always get burned. I had a lot of "friends" growing up but as I get older and stuff, I find it harder and harder to make friends. I just find them to be unreliable in general. I find most friendships form out of necessity like at school or work where you need to unite together for mutual benefit. Once that necessity is gone, you tend to drift apart. Also, when a friend finds new friends to hang out with and stuff, he tends to ditch you.

I've just had bad experiences in general with friends and it's not like I've become a recluse or anything but these days, I'm just often alone. Sure I get lonely and stuff and I wish I could meet better friends but I'm tired of just burned all the time. It always feels like I'm the one who is putting in most of the effort.

I'm a lot wiser with my generosity now. I save it for people who really deserve it. I have less tolerance for BS because I felt like I've wasted enough time and effort on false friendships already.

It makes me wonder how some people are able to maintain so many friendships. I don't know. It's a power I just don't have apparently. I don't think I'm a bad person. People say I am kind. I don't know what I've done wrong.

And as for if friends are necessary in life. I think it depends. I think its shaped by your experiences in life. If you've been burned a lot, then I'd say you probably don't need much firends. Maybe just one or two close or reliable ones. On the other hand, if you don't have enough friends in life, it's hard to go out there and have fun and do the things you want to do.

Like say you want to try a new activity or try out a new restaurant, sometimes its hard to go alone cause it seems like society is built towards either couples or groups of friends.

[AnnieCha]

after I moved in with my fiancee I stopped socializing altogether...funny how u can live without 99% people in your life and actually be happier than with them
people change, and once they do not understand your life they set distance between you...

[she-smiles]

no.
maybe i just got myself into the wrong group of friends.
and i think that as we grow older, we also grow apart.
y'know --things change, priorities change.

it's better to have acquaintances.
that way, life won't get too complicated.

[angelZ]

I love meeting new ppl and creating friendships out of them.
I don't think I can survive without it, because I live on social interaction.

[G4nismo]

i ditched most of my high school friends. most of them just partied all the time and slacked off. not worth my time.
i diversified my friends over the years. have couple friends who are engineers, business majors, pre med, etc. good to have those kinda friends for networking. also got a buddy over in D.C. who works for Merrill Lynch who i keep in contact every now and then. i can just crash at his place whenever i visit there. so stuff like that is why friends are necessary.

[angelxglo]

i must admit. to some extent, friendship is tiring and hard to maintain.
but i also think that friends are a neccessity because humans are social animals. we can't just isolate ourselves and just live in our own world. we have to communicate. even now, in the age of computers where you don't even have to meet a person face to face to communicate, what do you think this forum is, its a place for ppl to come together and share their thoughts. we might not be friends, but we are still communicating.
and if we keep communicating, it might lead to something more, like friendship.

do i make sense? i feel like don't. forgive me if i dunt b/c its late.
what i'm saying is, one way or another, no matter which way you go, or how long you decide to keep the person around, at one point, i'm sure you'll need a "friend" because sometimes, aquaintances are just not enough.