[babikorean]

Haha sooo, long post..

first of all I'm NOT like one of those girls who is really infatuated with boys and get little giggly crushes.
In fact, i have never had a serious boyfriend nor wanted to date anyone, maybe i'm just too immature?
Maybe I'm TOO mature to not want to deal with boys in high school?
anyways, there is this one boy i actually started to like! like i legitimately like this boy, but since i have never been the "boy-crazed" type
i really didn't know what to do with myself. My friends just reacted by being like "awe thats so cute! TELL HIM!"
but it's just not that easy for me! I went out of town for a week and during my "out of town" days, i received a text from a friend stating
"Do you know he likes you too?! He just let it drunken-slip at a party! wish you were here!"
My heart was just stunned! i was so excited and i couldn't wait to get back into town. I just said to myself K, people are honest and let it all out when they're drunk right?
I know that sounds trashy and like low, but that's just what i kept saying to myself!
The next day, the same friend texted me and was like "he made out with someone else.. can you believe it! and today he claims he never said he liked you but we all heard it!" i was surprised cuz he is the kind of guy that never drunk hooked up..
i put on a front and pretended like it didn't hurt my feelings, if i said i was upset, i would have seen myself as a drama queen.
WELL, when i came back to town, he was already DATING this girl he had hooked up with. Now this girl he hooked up with is also a classroom friend of mine. Occasionally hang out at group functions but not a BEST FRIEND. In class i had to like laugh at pretend i was happy for her.
When i bumped into the boy i like .. it was just normal surprisingly. I'm good at faking i guess.
Eventually i just let it go i was like w/e it's not an issue anymore.

One day i come into class and his gf/my friend is like yeah.. i broke up with him because it just wasn't going anywhere sexually, like all he was comfortable doing was make out! I just responded politely "I kind of respect him for that. and maybe he just doesn't want to do anything with.. you" (the last part came out mean but i said it without thinking!) she just kind of gave me a surprised look so i apologized. The boy i liked came to me as the shoulder to lean on.. he was so upset with her and i immediately started to like him again. This is why i liked him in the first place. He was like "clean" and not tainted by other girls. It was just so upsetting seeing him like this. I told him in quote:
"She is such a party girl and you knew that from the beginning. Sometimes it's just best to let girls like her to be with boys with .. different intentions then you? You're such an opposite of her like honestly i was surprised to find out you two were dating. I'm sorry you're hurt though. Don't change your morals because of her. If you're not ready to do anything so intimate with a girl that's fine!" I spent the whole evening with him and i was def falling for him again.. he told me he would not go running back to her and thanked me for staying with him.

As much as i wanted to go running to him, i thought i would give him space since he was still upset about her and such.
Two weeks later they got back together.. my friend comes into class and is like "i knew he would take me back."
ugh it made me so mad and i confronted him after school about it because although she is my friend, she is just so cocky sometimes
and like i know i would treat him so much better then she does. I was just like "so what is this with you two getting back together?" and he was like umm i thought you would be happy for me? and i was like well not really considering she is just going to screw you over again. and he was like i thought you two got along. (and like we do, she is fun to party with and really funny but i don't like her in this situation!) i just gave a long sigh
and he was like why do you care so much anyways?! i just shook my head and went home. From then on he would not say hi to me as much
and we slowly started to stop talking but his gf and i are still friends..

his gf is out of town now for summer and him and i were like inseperable at this party last week. It was just like old times and honestly, i miss him so much. I wish we could even just be FRIENDS again.. but his gf is so controlling and he is so whipped! I want to tell him but i don't want to be a homewrecker. I have been staying quiet this whole time but should i speak up?!

EDIT:
i'm really appreciating everyone's input, i think it's just i care too much about him and in a way i feel like i care about her too. why else wouldn't i have already b*tched my emotions out to her lol! because she IS a friend despite some of the things i have said about her. i would honestly be upset if her and i weren't friends anymore. Whenever i wanted to confront him again AND her, i felt sick and something held me back. Now i'm realizing it wasn't because i was SCARED to do it, i didn't want to upset them even though every inch of me didn't want them together, i was just jealous! and yes she is a friend which is why i FEEL like a total homewrecker for even having THOUGHTS on breaking them up. i just re-read my post and i'm so mean. i am so disappointed with myself for saying such ugly things about her. K, so despite what i said about her i want to say some nice things. she is really pretty, manages to balance her partylife and school life she has amazing grades! she drove me home one time in the middle of class cuz i got an allergic reaction to something! (she even came into my house and hung out with me until it went away, this is something i will always remember.) she is really confident in everything she does, and i love how even though the whole grade is talking sh*t about her, she keeps her head up high and laughs it off. my post may have sounded really self-centered and overbearing only because i didn't go intimately on how the guy and mine's friendship was beforehand. i didn't want it too be a long post. I am not some random girl to him where we just developed a friendship. We have been best friends for 3 years which is why its hard seeing him neglect all his friends for her. it just pisses me off seeing this happen but i guess i will just have to let it be like you all have said! i'm going to stop being jealous and angry about nothing. thanks everyone !

[BakaPrincess]

Honestly, I say no.

Get over the guy, you'll find someone who knows what he wants, and someone who will want you too. He's stupid enough to keep on getting himself screwed over like that, so let him. Certain people will only learn by their own mistake. Why would you want to be with someone who can't stand up for himself?

and he was like why do you care so much anyways?! i just shook my head and went home. From then on he would not say hi to me as much
and we slowly started to stop talking but his gf and i are still friends..

You're making yourself look desperate and you're making him mad. Now he probably thinks you don't like his gf whatsoever, that's why he's not talking to you. He thinks you'll probably just try to persuade him to break up with her.

So, leave them be. This is just my take on it, but the decision is up to you. Good luck!

[babikorean]

Honestly, I say no.

Get over the guy, you'll find someone who knows what he wants, and someone who will want you too. He's stupid enough to keep on getting himself screwed over like that, so let him. Certain people will only learn by their own mistake. Why would you want to be with someone who can't stand up for himself?



You're making yourself look desperate and you're making him mad. Now he probably thinks you don't like his gf whatsoever, that's why he's not talking to you. He thinks you'll probably just try to persuade him to break up with her.

So, leave them be. This is just my take on it, but the decision is up to you. Good luck!

It's not just ME he isn't talking to though. he is letting go of his guy friends too for her, like i said completely WHIPPED. and i just don't like being seeing this on the sideline! but wow your totally right. I guess i should just let him get screwed over until he learns.. thanks for your input!

[brownman90561495]

i agree with BakaPrincess.

you're a good person, and you don't want these kind of people take a best of you. you know exactly what's wrong with them two, and it's a good choice for you if you just put yourself at bay and let them figure things out.

just let them be. you go move on and you'll find the guy who'll be right for you.

[chibifish622]

Just leave them alone. One day the guy will realize getting back with your friend was a bad choice. Be ready to comfort him again if you still like him at the time.

[mintcracker]

you're taking this 'liking' alittle too seriously...I mean JUST COS he said he liked you in some random party lol. Just move on.

[Lie]

I agree with the others, essentially. I think you just have to give them their space and let them figure things out on their own. I wouldn't be waiting around for him in the meantime.

[STAR_x.]

no offense .. but i dont think any of the stuff you said were right
although youre not exactly stealing him away from her, i would say that you, in a way, are a homewrecker since you're trying to break them up (telling him not go back and confronting him about getting back with her). she didn't do anything to you, and how would you know that she's controlling? you're not in the relationship. he could be ignoring his friends on his own will.
if you're close enough to the girl to call her a friend, you should stay out of her business and like other posters said - let them be.

[babikorean]

no offense .. but i dont think any of the stuff you said were right
although youre not exactly stealing him away from her, i would say that you, in a way, are a homewrecker since you're trying to break them up (telling him not go back and confronting him about getting back with her). she didn't do anything to you, and how would you know that she's controlling? you're not in the relationship. he could be ignoring his friends on his own will.
if you're close enough to the girl to call her a friend, you should stay out of her business and like other posters said - let them be.

none taken!! i'm really appreciating everyone's input, i think it's just i care too much about him and in a way i feel like i care about her too. why else wouldn't i have already b*tched my emotions out to her lol! because she IS a friend despite some of the things i have said about her. i would honestly be upset if her and i weren't friends anymore. Whenever i wanted to confront him again AND her, i felt sick and something held me back. Now i'm realizing it wasn't because i was SCARED to do it, i didn't want to upset them even though every inch of me didn't want them together, i was just jealous! and yes she is a friend which is why i FEEL like a total homewrecker for even having THOUGHTS on breaking them up. i just re-read my post and i'm so mean. i am so disappointed with myself for saying such ugly things about her. K, so despite what i said about her i want to say some nice things. she is really pretty, manages to balance her partylife and school life she has amazing grades! she drove me home one time in the middle of class cuz i got an allergic reaction to something! (she even came into my house and hung out with me until it went away, this is something i will always remember.) she is really confident in everything she does, and i love how even though the whole grade is talking sh*t about her, she keeps her head up high and laughs it off. my post may have sounded really self-centered and overbearing only because i didn't go intimately on how the guy and mine's friendship was beforehand. i didn't want it too be a long post. I am not some random girl to him where we just developed a friendship. We have been best friends for 3 years which is why its hard seeing him neglect all his friends for her. it just pisses me off seeing this happen but i guess i will just have to let it be like you all have said! i'm going to stop being jealous and angry about nothing. thanks everyone !

[blastoise]

I would say go for it, but in an indirect manner.
Pull away from him, flirt around with some mutual guy friends, and see if it makes him jealous. If it does, it'll show. If it doesn't, then he doesn't like you.
Don't go undermining their relationship though because that's bad karma, I just think that right now you are being his good friend whom he can depend on anytime, and his gf is his sexual attraction. When he sees you in a different aspect, for example, as the gf of one of his friends, he can realize that aspect of you.

[Malice_Kaiser]

Leave it.

It's not worth it. Not only do you not want to be a homewrecker, but this guy doesn't sound like a keeper. He may seem like he's amazing because he's your first crush, but trust me, it's not always that way. He seems confused and like he doesn't know what he wants or what's good for him; DON'T let him lead you on.

And it's not up to you to step in and tell them if their relationship is right or wrong either. Especially if he knows he likes you, he's going to think it's ulterior motives. They have to make their own mistakes. It might suck to have to sit on the sidelines and watch, but it's usually what has to happen.