[l3lo]

sorry if i'm in the wrong thread please move~

let me start off by saying i have nothing against homosexuals. i'm just not one-i'm a girl by the way .

anyways, its been bothering me a lot lately. i mean this thought has crossed my mind a couple of times in the past but for some reason recently, its been bugging me.
and i just can't get rid of it. i'm a single girl (of course you might of figured that out^^ ), 20 years old, going to college, got a stable job and i'm happy with my life
right now. so it doesn't seem like there's any problems right? except for the fact that i'm a single girl. what's so wrong with that? nothing-unless you haven't dated in a while which, would
be me. i'm not a relationship type person, i get over guys really easily and right now in my life i view other things more importantly. i have other goals to pursue before thinking about
hooking up with some one. don't get me wrong i don't have any problems with guys or any insecurities of my own. i have dated in the past but they were never serious. i don't deny the
fact also that i can see our relationship going nowhere once we get together (that may be a bad sign right there^^. but its just who i am. so instead of getting into relationships with guys that aren't compatible with me and forseeing it going nowhere i have decided to stop dating for a while. and when i mean a "while" i mean its been...oh, i don't know. lets just leave it at that. so now, you kinda know my position on relationships, now heres the issue...how come being a single girl in this day and age make people assume that you're a lesbian?

i've never have someone come up to me and ask me that but i have had people-guys mostly, wonder if i'm a lesbian behind my back. it never really bothered me. maybe at first but i
just brushed it off. i've had family and friends trying to hook me up with guys or even ask why i'm single? i give them the usual answer "because i don't need one". i guess thats not a good
enough answer? also i'm asian so having a boyfriend or someone is also a pretty big deal in terms of family life in the future. if you get my drift~
some of my friends are single as of the moment but their views and experiences are totally different from mines and they've never had anyone assume if they were a "lesbian". the reason
why this topic started to bug me even more (maybe it was my luck who knows) happened to be a day i was listening to my favorite local radiostation. yes, i love listening to my local radiostation. i know i'm weird but that one day they were talking about Kelly Clarkson. for those who don't know who she is, she's the first American Idol winner in the U.S.
the topic was about her relationships and for some reason the topic veered off and the word "lesbian" was brought up. one of the radiostation talkshow host assumed that she was a lesbian
because she's been single for so long. upon hearing that it just totally jolted me.

why is it that a single female in this day and age can't be single for her own reasons without being accused as a lesbian? is it so wrong? is it a sexist thing?
i have thought about it a lot believe me. i've noticed that guys being single isn't a big deal but girls? their seen as lesbians? can anyone relate or explain? please i would love to hear any explanations or reasons.

[xoxoknlove]

because people are idiots thats why.


++i'm pretty pissed because i've met one person who was from some other place and when i said i lived in San Francisco, they thought everyone was gay and lesbian there... I MEAN COME ON! grow up people

[Mannosuke]

Because many humans are foolish dichotomous creatures that lack any sort of critical or logical thought.
We've come to the point where thinking is no longer necessary because everything is just so convenient.

but i have had people-guys mostly, wonder if i'm a lesbian behind my back

Cause they're stupid.
People are satisfied with simple logic: either you're this or you're that.
Essentially, people wish to condense everything into black-and-white logic, and hence if you're not in a relationship with a man, then you're probably lesbian! Or if you don't like to talk much, then you must be anti-social!

Indeed, half the members on these forums probably fit the description above. Until maybe hit 20+ and start participating in conversations in the "real world" subforum where petty immature crap like this isn't as common as it is anywhere else on the forums.

how come being a single girl in this day and age make people assume that you're a lesbian?

lol, case in point. This is the logic I'm seeing: If you're single, then you're homosexual!
Seriously, whatever happened to humans boasting about how "intelligent" they are?

[dragonninja598000]

I don't know who you hang around, but from the sounds of it they aren't intelligent at all and their assuming way too much. If you don't need a partner then you just don't need one. Some people need the emotional attachment formed by having a relationship. Sounds like your doing just fine without it. And there is nothing you wrote that suggest that you are lesbian. So just ignore the lesbian comment from other people.

[RiderKamen]

If a person or a group conjure up something that is not true and continue to hold on to it, they'll soon believe in it and the others that they've told.

In other words, what they say doesn't make it true.

Also it is a sexist thing.

The tolerance of gays and lesbians was different back in the day. Now and days thanks to television, music, and other media, the tolerance has changed. So now, I would say that people are more paranoid or more assuming on what gay/lesbian could be.

[Mannosuke]

The tolerance of gays and lesbians was different back in the day. Now and days thanks to television, music, and other media, the tolerance has changed. So now, I would say that people are more paranoid or more assuming on what gay/lesbian could be.

I agree, media definitely does have an impact, but I'm sure it's not "if you're single, you're les" lol
People don't really understand homosexuality, but there's really nothing to understand: do we understand heterosexuality? It seems so normal, yet we probably have no clue how to describe it.

There are no signs that indicate whether someone's straight or not.

And we can't forget those that swing both directions. Would they exhibit both straight AND gay patterns (assuming these patterns exist)?

It's like me asking you to describe what makes someone a heterosexual woman: "she's dating a man" means as much as "she's not dating anyone"

[Painterlyy]

Lol. I can assure you that just because you are single, that doesn't mean you're a lesbotron (sorry, I just had to use that word )
maybe you and your friends have different views on relationships right now because you're more focused on school

[morimi]

Lately I've been feeling that I'm in a similar position as yours. I'm only sixteen and never dated or had thoughts of dating anyone, infact I wish to be single as long as possible because I just love my freedom. Lately most of my friends have started dating and I'm the only one without a boyfriend and they always try to hook me up, but I always say "I don't want one"
Now some of my friends prbobably think i'm lesbo-esp my male friends, but the thing is, I'm not lesbo but just a very INDEPENDENT type of person. I just really hate the fact that these days almost everyone expect every girl or guy to date, really if a person doesn't need one they aren't going to look for one it doesn't mean they are gay/lesbian.
Anyways whatever I usually let ppl think what they want, I have nothing against those types of relationships, I just don't like my other ppl of my gender that way.

[Frozy]

The people you hang around with have some warp-ed ass definitions of homosexuality, lol. Nuff said.

[xAzumi]

Seriously,

You stop me frozen on my feet.

Some girls believes that relationships are not meant for them and there are more things out there than searching for a soul mate and popping up babies like popcorn.

Parents in these age are afraid that their daughters will not have a husband or follow the mainstream media. Parents have all been too traditional and not open to other races, or even other sexuality.

No matter what, who cares what they say.

Like Backstreet boy say, "As long as your happy"

[Dolce_love]

I know exactly how you feel =='' i got my first boyfriend way after my friends had theirs and one girl, who i thought was a close friend, asked me in front of the WHOLE bio class if i was a lesbian. >___< wtf?

People are just stupid -____- let them think whatever they want, you don't have to please them so just ignore them :]
theres nothing wrong with focusing on school instead of relationships

[Fila]

I feel for you, OP. These quick judgments are so ..unfair? Or at the very least, disappointing.

I was catching up with a HS friend once and I mentioned an ex because of some random thing. He was a bit surprised, and then told me about another mutual friend of ours (also back in HS) who thought that I 'didn't swing that way.'

Thing is, I didn't even know these people until a year after my last relationship. I don't dwell on it, because I know what my orientation is. Though now that someone's fed me that idea, I'm slightly wary about some close-minded people out there who make the same conclusions. :/

Single Girl = Independent, imo.
Girl + park + holding hands + making out with a girlfriend = possibly lesbian (could be a bet).

[chibifish622]

lol my friends asked me if my cousin, who's a female, was a lesbian too since she's been single for a long time. of course they were joking but guys like to talk about stupid things like that all the time.

it seems to me you're just waiting for the right guy to come by; one that wants a long term relationship and takes you seriously. stick to your own pace in life and don't listen to what others say about you.

[_ATELIER]

omg i've gotten that all last year from these guys, it's like wtf, you don't have a gf, so you must be gay! =O
ppl tend to be sorta thoopid sometimes. just ignore it.

[sethsegel]

That viewpoint is just completely based on ignorance. For the longest time, I would be teased by my brother because I didn't have any girlfriends, or if he were goinh to a strip club, he'd ask if I wanted to go, but pretty much didn't care, and I know it was in jest, but it was still annoying to even think that because I don't have a girlfriends that i'm gay. If you're not in a relationship, there is a reason, whether it seems like a good or bad reason, and people that just assume, are just jerks.

[juicejuice]

Just because a person is single doesn't mean they are lesbian... people these days...their mindset -___-" I have a couple of friends who are single... her parents kept on asking why are you dating and stuff like that ...and other weird questions...

They were happy where their life are at...you don't have to be in a couple to be happy. They really enjoy pursuing their goals.. As long as you are happy... that's all that matters.... which are important to them...

I strongly don't believe in that statement (single girl = lesbian).

[brownman90561495]

those people thinking that you're a lesbian are judgemental people.

and, you're still young. i know a few older and attractive girls who remain single, and are not so bothered by it. you'll have your time soon.

[ShadowMax76]

is it a sexist thing? i've noticed that guys being single isn't a big deal but girls?

no.
....o_O' if a guy has never had a gf throughout highschool, he's gay. that's the general understanding. and i'm not one to dispute that. lol

_ iunno. if someone asked/thought i was gay, i'd take it as a compliment. doesn't matter what they think, or what i think they think.

[brownman90561495]

no.
....o_O' if a guy has never had a gf throughout highschool, he's gay. that's the general understanding. and i'm not one to dispute that. lol

_ iunno. if someone asked/thought i was gay, i'd take it as a compliment. doesn't matter what they think, or what i think they think.

so this would potentially expand the connotation of GAY / HOMOSEXUALS.

[fixated on 1 star]

Amen. I feel ya.


Single girl = Lesbian is like
Girl who hangs out/chills with a certain group of girls all the time = Lesbian

So dumb. And annoying.
Cant we all just do what we want without having our sexual orientations questioned?


Let them think what they want.
They dont matter anyway
:]