[letswatchthesunset]

I'm a girl who doesn't know what she wants.

So my situation is basically I was with my boyfriend for 7 months.

At the beginning of the relationship, I've always felt like he wasn't that good of a boyfriend to me. I felt like he put his friends first, I wasn't a priority and all that and we fought alot.. so I broke up with him.

After considering the fact that I might have had too high expectations of a boyfriend, I asked for him back and we got back together.

After we got back together, we didn't really fight. My mindset about the relationship changed too. I decided that I shouldn't take it so seriously and put everything in it and that I shoudn't make him my number one priority in my life.

Things were great. I thought it was great. I felt more indepedant and I didn't need him. I hanged out with my friends..did all that. it was good. I thought he was happy too that he got "Space".

Somewhere along the lines, I thought I didn't feel the same way about him anymore. I met this guy one time at a party and we immediately hit it off and I had a slight crush on him even though I knew the guy wasn't particularly bf material.. the guy was really nice to me, giving me compliments and buying me things. I was flattered.

I felt really guilty, but for some reason I picked a massive fight with my bf about how he always puts me down (he jokes about my appearance sometimes) and how he doesn't care enough about me to buy me the things i want (yeah i know! it was my fault. i felt really bad afterwards) I'm not really sure why i picked that fight.. maybe a part of me wanted him to break up with me so I didn't have to do it..or perhaps I just wanted him to be a better boyfriend. I'm not sure..

We had exam period, and I didn't see him as much..after exams, I felt myself feeling distant towards him...

Suddenly our roles got reversed, and he was the one complaining about how i didnt spend enough time with him, how i would put my friends first, and he wanted me to see him more, call him etc.

That made me feel suffocated and I felt like I was obligated to see him. So I broke up with him saying I needed space. He said he would wait for me...bcoz he cared alot about me.

Another reason why I broke up with him was also bcoz I met this other guy and I thought it would be unfair on my bf.

A week later, I called him and we kind of got back together. I said I still wanted to keep the relationship casual - wasn't ready to make it official. The next night, we had a massive fight. Okay, it was my fault, I started accusing him and interrogating him for putting other girls infront of me..and he broke up with me online.

The next day i came over to his house to patch things up - but he said that the last few weeks had been hell for him. He accused me of playing with his heart. And that he felt like I wanted to break up too but I was too scared to bcoz of our history. He also said that we wern't compatible and he had to be careful around me so I won't get angry at him and fight etc...and he hated how I picked fights over petty things etc. He said he use to put up with it bcoz he thought it was worth it but now he sed it wasn't worth it nemore.

Its been a week... and I want him back. I realised that the other guy was just a crush thing...and that no guy would really compare to my ex bf.

But I don't know how to...I want to apologise for everything and I want him to forgive me.

I want him back. But how?

I was thinking of writing a letter and making a book of our lovestory and giving it to him...do you think that will work?

a part of me feels like i should let it go...bcoz if he broke up with me...that means he's not worth it neway..

but another part of me thinks that i put myself in this situation and it was my fault he broke up with me..so i should try hard to get him back...

im a confused girl.

[Mannosuke]

bcoz if he broke up with me...that means he's not worth it neway..

I'll attempt to clear up some confusion with a little logic cause this line doesn't make sense to me at all

If YOU broke up with him, THEN he wouldn't be worth it. If he was worth something, you wouldn't have broken up with him.

It's like me taking your phone away from you and you saying that phone wasn't worth it. No, your phone is probably worth something but I took it away from you!

Similarly, your bf took away this relationship status from you even though you probably wanted it, which seems to be what you're going on about now.

Now you should be less confused then you were before.

[mintywinter]

I'll attempt to clear up some confusion with a little logic cause this line doesn't make sense to me at all

If YOU broke up with him, THEN he wouldn't be worth it. If he was worth something, you wouldn't have broken up with him.

It's like me taking your phone away from you and you saying that phone wasn't worth it. No, your phone is probably worth something but I took it away from you!

Similarly, your bf took away this relationship status from you even though you probably wanted it, which seems to be what you're going on about now.

Now you should be less confused then you were before.

Actually, I can see why someone might say "he's not worth it" if he dumps you. It's because if he dumps you, it means he doesn't love you as much as you love him. In that case, when your feelings aren't reciprocated, some people might think it's pointless to try to revive the relationship (he's "not worth" your effort), because neither person is going to be satisfied.

[WilDTyPeXD]

-Woah lmao it seems that your story is the most twisted i've evr seen, well anyways all i can tell you really is give him some time.
i think both of you should cool off for a little. Then when you feel back on your toes...think back on why he asked you out in the first place. Was there a specific reason why he liked you? Work on that .
-Oooo and dress your best. Mkae yourself feel more attractive and confidence
-Really just be positive. Dont be so negative because nothing is less attractive than self pity
-and just think it out again if you really want him back and this time you're not going to let him go.

truthfully, and no offense, he really has his own faults. And from your story i find your ex a little too careless. Like he's playing with a toy to only throw it away after playing with it than wanting it back and throwing it away again. He needs to make up his mind if he wants to commit to his relationship. For sure I will never survive with a boyfriend like him.

-Wild

[Mannosuke]

Actually, I can see why someone might say "he's not worth it" if he dumps you. It's because if he dumps you, it means he doesn't love you as much as you love him. In that case, when your feelings aren't reciprocated, some people might think it's pointless to try to revive the relationship, because neither person is going to be satisfied.

Makes sense, but "not worth it" probably isn't very clear cause I interpreted it as "does not mean anything to you" as opposed to "not worth going for"

Guess I really should be thinking more in the OP's shoes lol

[MaryMagdalin]

um its your fault really.
you can try, but it sounds like he`s fed up so i dont know.

[mintywinter]

Makes sense, but "not worth it" probably isn't very clear cause I interpreted it as "does not mean anything to you" as opposed to "not worth going for"

Guess I really should be thinking more in the OP's shoes lol

Nah, you just need to tune into girl-lingo. =P

To make this relevant to the OP:
The first thing to consider is, are you sure that you can change for the better? Can you hold your temper from now on?
I don't know exactly how your fights with him started, so I'm making some assumptions here... but it seems that if you two do get back together, you both need to voice your problems with each other's behaviour, etc. earlier on before the pressure builds up and explodes into a huge fight. Don't be afraid to communicate. Tell him calmly when you're annoyed by something he does and don't turn it into a battle. Discuss, discuss your problems.

For now, it seems like you two should take a break from each other. Maybe you two could agree not to go out with anyone else for a month, but not with each other either. At the end of the month, see how you feel.

[kansaieito]

Just no. You need some time to chill the john tesh out, fix yourself and be single. Do it.

[myxo]

Just no. You need some time to chill the john tesh out, fix yourself and be single. Do it.

Harsh, but true.

I honestly think you need some time to yourself to sort your feelings out. It's only been a week and you already want him back after breaking up with him numerous times. You two need space and a generous amount of soul-searching to determine what you really want. Don't let your current feeling/emotion empower your ability to think. What will getting back with him do? Are you certain that things will be back to the way they were before? Are you going to be able to change and make things work? Make sure you can answer those questions before getting back in a relationship.

[sethsegel]

Take some time to evaluate all your thoughts without letting momentary emotions get in the way, if you still feel like you want your ex boyfriend back, get together with him in person. I think for him to truly know where you're coming from it not only needs to be in person, but truthful and from the heart, something a paper can't capture as easily.

[chibifish622]

You should ask yourself: Am I going to be happy if I get back with him? Are you able to stay happy if you get him back?
It seems you guys fight a lot for small reasons. But if you think you can make the relationship work, then go for it.
Making a lovestory book would be kind of awkward. Your ex bf complained about not spending enough time together. Maybe just hangout with him on a nice date.

[brownman90561495]

Its been a week... and I want him back. I realised that the other guy was just a crush thing...and that no guy would really compare to my ex bf.

this is what i was discussing in another forum - your feelings getting settled after liking a guy you just met. there's the answer right there to the question "after awhile, who does your heart really longing for - the guy you just met, or the guy you have declared your love with (and take note, he loves you back)?"

[blastoise]

Just stay single. It'll be hard for the next little while because you'll miss that feeling of familiarity but after a month it'll be a lot easier.
It's not fair to pick fights with him that YOU KNOW are frivolous and childish. Give him some space, and give yourself some space. IF it was meant to be, you'll end up back together.
To be honest, I feel more sorry for your BF. You pull him close, push him away, and try to pull him close again. It really does sound like a mind game.

[meiming8]

Even though I understand sometimes it's hard to know what you want, I think you really treated him unfairly. You messed him around quite a lot, when you really should have explained your doubts to him. You can try talking to him again, after some time of no contact just for both of you to cool down, but still...it might not be worth it for either of you to get back together. It sounds like you just want him back because he's gone. Just wait a while...give it some time to figure out what you both really want

[lisalee89]

you seemed to have treated your ex unfairly in the relationship. Also, i understand crushes.. i understand when someone else makes you feel something different from your bfrend... but that doesnt mean taht the grass is always greener on the other side. it's like the sayin " dont know what you go till it songe." Maybe now you realize what you didi hae because hes gone now.
This is a very iffy situationbc at this point it seems as though he has given up on you.

[li-mei]

Give yourself more time to get over the relationship and give it another thought some other time. It sounds like you both put each other through a enough BS and getting back together soon won't fix your problems. I think both of you should mature a little bit before even deciding to date again (whether it be each other or with other people).

[Swtess]

You're a drama queen. Everything has been revolving around you. You're not willing to make compromises with him and you broke up with him cause you thought the other guy would be better. Other guy didn't work out and now you know what a gem you had. Tough luck, but you're a pretty horrible girlfriend. Go talk to him face to face and see if he loves you enough to take you back

[wookay]

OMG please tell me you are under 20?

[fredinsac]

Quickest way to get him back? Below Jab!! Say it really fast.

But in all seriousness I would advise against you being with anybody until you well....grow the hell up. I don't want him, I want him, I don't want him, I want him. Make your mind up. Asking him to come back for the 3rd time is a little overkill and if I was him I wouldn't come back anymore.

[letswatchthesunset]

I am 19

I've realised that I've been very immature.

I guess I just enjoyed being 'selfish' and what I thought to be "indepedant" for awhile..

But now I'm ready to compromise and put in the commitment for this relationship because I miss him.

& this time around I want to make it work.

A part of me is scared that things won't change ...but I know I have to get him asap or I'll lose him forever.