[elaineuyen]

Well, I don't know.
My one of my best friends has had a boyfriend (the other hasn't) but in my opinion I don't believe it counts; I mean, they were two strangers, almost, who barely talked to each other and just got together because they thought each other was attractive. And she ended it, because she just didn't like the guy. Lol..
Any who, I get into a lot of arguments with her - like about how I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend, instead of her... and I'm like, he goes to another school, we hardly saw each other during the course of the school year. So, it's summer, trying to spend as much time with him as possible. And I've seen her two or three times since school ended.
I do admit, with summer, I have spent every minute free I have with him. But how can you blame me? I'm hopelessly in love with the guy. And she just doesn't get it. At all. Neither does my other best friend.
They tell me, oh you're just like any other girl. But, honestly, I've ... okay, I admit, I've been through a lot of "bad" relationships. Few good ones.
But I'm not obsessed over this or anything for that matter. I know self control. I manage everything else well.
It's just they have it their heads of a view, of someone who's not been in love, or really knew the feeling of it.
Or slight feeling or whatever! o_o..
So, I sit there, thinking "what do you really know?"

So, what's your view on this? Am I wrong? For like, wanting to spend time with my boyfriend who I rarely ever saw like once or twice every two months, when I saw her everyday. ??

[brownman90561495]

you and your boyfriend are the only people who can judge if you are in love or not. if you feel you love him, then you love him. i don't think there's any other person in the world who can contest that.

[Christinaisweird]

^ yeup.

I think 1] they're just jealous or 2] they miss you as their friend.

You should at least spend 1/2 day or more if you can in a week. If not try 5 times in a month, if it's more than that then really what's all the complaints?

[sethsegel]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to see your boyfriend who prior to summer you didnt get to spend much time with. I think you friend is jealous and is saying things without thinking about everything.

[Mannosuke]

I'm not really sure where "you just don't get it, you've never been in love" actually comes into play.
Yes I'm slow.

Did she say that when you told her you're in love with your bf?

[PhuongNguyen]

I think you're missing a very big point here;

I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend, instead of her...

Do you see where I'm getting at?

While she probably does understand why you want to spend all of your time with him, the fact that you're spending your time with him INSTEAD of her, that's why she said those things. Yes, it's true that you don't see him very often, so when you do, you want to make every second count. I see where you're coming from. However, now lets look from your friend's perspective.

They are there for you 24/7 while he's gone. You spend a lot of time with them. However, once he's there, you put them to the side and dedicate all of your time to him. They feel neglected, they feel betrayed, they feel like they're second priority. Is it unreasonable? Perhaps... but hey, wouldn't you feel the same way? Once your boyfriend is gone, what are you going to do? Go back to spending time with them? But what if by that time, they no longer want to because you made them feel unimportant?

It's hard to juggle friends and boyfriend, trust me, I've been down that road and screwed up a lot of friendship. But it's not just about YOUR situation and your feeling; but also theirs. You want to spend time with your boyfriend; but your best friends want to spend time with you.

[CHELSSEA]

My (ex)best-friend was just like you.
It's a horrible excuse to throw onto the table "You just don't get it." You've forsaken your best-friend for a boyfriend.
Can you not hang out with both of them together? Unless they don't like one another or something.
Not only that, if you used to hang out with her all the time, how is she supposed to transition from that to never seeing you?
Unless you're married to this guy and have three kids, your best-friend should always be a top priority,
Cause if you end up breaking up with that guy, chances are your best-friend will be the one to comfort you.
Best-friends usually last longer than relationships, and chances are she's been your best friend since before you've been with this guy.

[TICKLE ME Jx2]

I had a "friend" who said something very similar to that to me and my friends.
She said something like, "ah, you guys wouldn't know. None of you have ever had a boyfriend before."
Its ridiculous and it hurt my feelings because it felt like she was saying she was better than us somehow
And that our insight doesn't matter because "we don't know how its like".
She said it so loudly, as if the whole room could hear us, so it was embarrassing on top of everything else.

[joxxy]

I don't blame your friends for getting jealous.
You shoud try to find a balance between spending time with your friends AND your boyfriend.
You sound pretty selfish in your post - think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed.
Reality is, friends will always be there for you. Boyfriends won't.

[blue_wishesx3]

i think she just feels jealous because you're spending some much time with your boyfriend instead of her.
i get that you want to see your boyfriend as much as you can, but i really suggest you finding a balance between your friends & your boyfriend.
right now, you might give off the vibe that "oh since you dont have your boyfriend around you'll hang out with your friends" which could seem as though you're using them? (i dont know, quite possible that they can think that)

[deathangelxd]

I'm not sure, but I would feel like how your friends feel. I think you need to learn to balance between your relationship with your boyfriend and your frienship with your friends. I've never been in love, but...yeah, it may seem like you don't have a lot of time to spend with your boyfriend, but your best friends might not be there forever, also. Like, if this is a one time thing, sure, it's fine but if you're like this with every relationship, your friends might start feeling like they're only wanted when you have nobody else to hang with. They might start feeling used.

[ling_ling]

I understand both sides

Before when I was in high-school I had a friend who would basically not spend any time with us
Even though we spent everyday together in school
it would be nice to spend time during the weekends out of school uniforms etc
But she never made time over the weekend because that was the only time she could see him
Me and my other friends were basically like O_O we are your friends ~ we should come first!
Ya know: friends before shmoes!
So we talked to her and she was like "you wouldnt understand, hes my boyfriend and i want to spend everytime with him because i dont get to etc etc"
And at the time I didnt understand because I never had a boyfriend or anything or been "in-love" so I didnt get it

BUT now that I am older and have been on the other side
I get where my friend was coming from ~ You do get the feeling that you want to spend every minute with your s/o
But knowing how it felt from the other side I learnt I needed to balance friends and boyfriend

Its great spending time with your boyfriend but from now try to see your friends more
Like for every two times you see your boyfriend see your friends next ~
I mean how many times a week do you see your boyfriend anyway?
Surley cant be everyday because then you definately should be able to make time for your friends

I mean at the moment I work during the days and have after work and weekends free so I usually plan out each week when I am going to see my friends, family and boyf
I usually leave Sunday for family, after work would probably go to my boyf and Friday night or saturday spent with friends ~

You should have at least one day a week for friends.

[bonjour tristesse.]

I've never actually said this to someone or have someone tell me this and I wouldn't think of it either (saying it to a friend). I can imagine the pain if someone told me this and I'd probably start to feel insecure.