[ShadowMax76]

<sub>i know i know, my posts are incoherent and ugly all-round, but if you would - listen. perhaps kick me in the face too. y'know i like that. lol

I get so tired of these smiley faces. I dunno if it's a funny trauma-related defense mechanism set up because of my 'past-relationships', but just seeing someone smile at me.. i can't feel anything positive about it.

I'd ask "why are you smiling?"
"cos i'm with you! <3" she said. It's funny that the only reason i believed that was because i wanted to - despite the underlying cynic in me suspicious of her every..smile . and funnily enough, she admitted to trying to use me from day one meeting me. no surprises there, i had never met a girl that knew exactly what she wanted from me.
i had always believed that if there was no logical reason for a smile, it's something of a bigger picture- something manipulative.

i've realized that more or less, it's inevitable for a person to use another person. if you want the time from someone, you smile and ask. if you want someone to listen, you cry a tear and talk. etc.

past relationships... bleh. i'm not sure if my reasoning is just something pathetic and cynical that best appeases my 'moving on', but .. it's just me always feeling used. that they were some evil monster sucking the life out of every guy friend that just so happened to be in love with them. that i gave everything, as she sat there on her throne. that all the tears they cried were fake, and even more - to draw me into being a sucker for them all over again. showering them with affection from the place in my heart for 'em.

lmao. now i sound like a naive girl played by a bunch of ego inflatable guys .

kk. forget all that.</sub>

_ "so tired of pretending that i'm not being used by smiley faces"
If it's inevitable for people to use other people, does that mean there's no such thing as 'genuine' relationships?

is there a point in being obsessed with what's real and what's fake [when it comes to people's intentions/feelings]?

if you want bg. read the cowardly crossed out mini cooper . :] it's just scraps of bg though.

[Daylightful]

Well, I'm sure in some way everyone does things for a reason. Exactly. People cry when they need attention. Babies, adults and even animals such as dogs. We need people in such ways. As for being manipulative and used.. I don't think everyone has that great intention. As for me, I smile at people to brighten up their day. I feel that even if I'm sad, I can smile because that person who walks pass me and see me will smile too. And even though it's tiny, I figure it can brighten their day in the least. I don't ask for much. When I'm sad, I don't bother people with it, I feel like I have to help people more. And when I smile, it's because I want the other person to enjoy themselves. I don't like saying the phrase "using people." As for your girl friend, maybe she had a deeper intention or maybe not. I don't know. But I'm sure you have friends who will be there to support you. And if not, there's here at Soompi. Heck, I don't have to reply, but I want you to feel better so I'm here talking to you. My goal is to make people feel happy and better despite myself. But humans need other humans. It's a fact. Even though I'm sad, there are times I crack down and try to talk to the closest person to me if possible. Not that I want to "use" them for my own happiness. They are a friend, and someone I could try and go to when I need them for help. I see it more as a connection/trust kind of thing more than using them. And I'm most definitely there for them when they need it. But it's little things like, feeling "used" that makes me not want to talk to people when I have issues. Because that's honestly not my intention. I don't want people to feel like their objects, so I keep things inside a lot which isn't healthy-- but hey. I do hope things get better, though. The fact that you posted on this forums about this is because you need someone to reply. You're calling out and reaching. We all want to feel good at times, and that's not bad at all. It's not a selfish thing. So feel free and talk to people about your issues or post on this thread. I may be a hypocrite, but at least I can always help people. By the way, I don't feel like you're using me or anyone here. So it works out well. But uh-- again. Feel better! Sorry if that made no sense, by the way. I'm really sleepy.. but good luck again!

[Mannosuke]

If it's inevitable for people to use other people

"If your assumption is wrong, then everything that's based on this assumption is also wrong."
And this statement is true.

I read the 1-font text, you need to meet better girls.

[twenty4k]

Are you implying that the only genuine people are the ones that never shed emotions of whatever form? Trust me, its not healthy at all for people to be coped up in their own feelings to a degree that they refute any help from the outside world. I don't know your girlfriend, and am definately not here to judge but .. if she knows what she wants then thats a good thing. Smiling at you...in your definition of "using you," atleast it goes to show that she wants you. If you viewed all of her "manipulative" deeds as objectives to get you, then you might be a happier person. But I think it's safer to leave it as .. we are all humans and we all preform incomphrehenisble things at times, and should be looked on no further as a mistake or a happening. You sound like the type of guy that prefers his significant other to be more caring towards himself... in the sense that you would prefer to see her in tears than in smiles because you feel there is only "genuineness" in certain states of emotions. If you start associating her smiles towards you with her friendly behavior with all her "guy friends" then eventually, yes, you are going to start feeling that they are fake, because you feel no more of particular importance than her eager guy friends. What's genuine -- is it only a mind of state that echoes 'it's yours'?