[MangoStar]

Hello everyone! This is quite long - you've been warned.

I'm somewhat stuck in a dilemma. I've never had a close relationship with anyone in my family other than my
immediate family members (Mom and my two younger brothers). Well, earlier this year, one of my uncles had a fight
with his girlfriend, they broke up and as a result, he had to move in with my family. At first, I was wary of this, because
I have a rocky relationship with him. Not even a good month later - he and I are at each other's throat.

He's constantly trying to discipline me as if he's my father. I'm 18 and he has five other kids, that he can't even take care
of. My grandmother bought me a laptop for graduation and now he feels that he has full custoday of it! I was on the webcam with my
boyfriend, he barges in my room and takes it from me and takes it into the bathroom!! He's not allowed to touch it anylonger.

He also eats all the food and never cleans up after himself. This leaves me sweeping his cigarette butts, soda cans and other trash
late at night. It got to the point where I even left for awhile to go with my boyfriend's sister. I ended up missing a family vacation, but I don't
regret it (which is odd). I also can't tolerate my grandmother's favoritism. After I finally came back - she chewed me out. Which she
always does, but when my cousin does something worse than I do. She says nothing to her. Its as if she does no wrong!

All of this is frustrating me to no end! I've started to seriously dislike my own grandmother and my uncles. I feel awful about it
because I always hear that if they're your family - you should love them. I don't know what I should do?!

[AzizOnDeck]

Their your family love them for who they are, but that doesn't mean you can't dislike them for the way <i>they</i> behave. As for you're uncle talk to your mother about it so he stops bothering you, if that doesn't work confront him yourself. Although he may feel as if he has the right to do whatever he wants, he has to be reminded that HE is the guest in the household and should at least act like it.

Damn free loaders

[Angxizzle]

Yes it is very possible, I love all my family BUT i can't stand to be in the same room for more then a second with a lot of them. alot of them are DRAMA QUEENS or just plain STUBBORN lol. i've tried all that 'talk and work it out' stuff, idk just doesn't work with my family. i guess their just too old to change their ways. i just deal with them whenever i see them and try to avoid being around them too much because i know it will just cause arguements. that sucks that your uncle lives with you i remember when my uncle's family lived with us. they were SO BAD and he had kids also and then my grandma came to live with us for a while when they left. so i know where your coming from, but honestly there isn't much you can do expect tell your mom how you feel and/or move out. my parents didn't listen me bleh, because 'their older you should respect them no matter what' and so on. sooo, it didn't work so much for me haha, ingoring is all i can do but good luck to you with it.......

[MangoStar]

Well, I've talked to my mother. She even has a problem with his freeloading, but because he's her baby
brother, she can't just throw him out. She's gone to my grandmother and she's confronted him more times
than I can count about these issues. She even threatened to kick him out, but to no avail, it hasn't worked.

Luckily in less than two weeks, I'll leave for college! I also do feel that he's too old to change. I've learned to keep
my distance from them. He almost got his front teeth knocked out for saying extremely derogatory/prejudiced remarks
about my boyfriend.

I've also gotten the whole, "he's your elder, so you have to respect him" yada yada yada. To be quite frank, I can't respect
him. Period.

[Malice_Kaiser]

Being family isn't an automatic ticket to love and acceptance by everyone you're related to, at least in my opinion. If someone's a douche then they're a douche, whether you're family or not.

[MangoStar]

You're right about that. Ultimately, I'm gonna stick to my original plan of just keeping my distance from them.
We disagree on so many issues.

[Humilious]

i love my brother but i can't stand his behavior or attitude. so yeah it's possible i suppose.