[shortitq]

I can not explain any better how much my friend love this guy, but she is crazy in love with him. They have been together for 3 years and she has moved in with him for 2 years already. The moment she moved out of her mothers house with her permission, she can never turn back because they have moved somewhere else with rooms only enough for them. But let me get to the point,it started with just three of us, myself, my friend and her boyfriend hanging out in their house for a few drinks. My friend left downstairs to use the restroom and it was just me and her boyfriend left in the room but its never awkward. All of sudden he comes at me and grabs my face and kissed me ,my first reaction was pushed his face as hard as I can which cause me to fall backwards onto the floor and made a loud thud and I asked shockingly,and pissed "what are you doing?!" .His response was"I just wanted to do that". By that time she was already coming up the stairs and he's already sitting back on his chair and she comes approaches him curiously because he is laughing , and he tells her that he did something that made me scared and fell of my chair so he's still laughing to convince her it was nothing. I was so shocked and afraid ,not knowing what to do so I just nervously went along with it by laughing and agreed...This happened just last night and I haven't told her yet, but I want to get your advice on this. I know I am a great friend to her but I don't feel too great at this point since I am hesitating about telling her and even thinking twice but then again I am doing this because I love her so much I do not want her to get hurt. Should I tell her or should I not because I just can't see her get hurt ..

[Painterlyy]

Ok so hears what you do.
You want to tell your friend. Be honest and get to the point.
You should also do it while her boyfriend is there also. That way, he can't deny it and if he does, he won't be able to for long because you're going to say "Don't you dare lie to her about it. You know what you did."
Tell her when it happened.
Say it was when you were shocked and he was laughing.
Your friend should believe you.

[naoto]

not telling her isn't going to hide the pain. It's not like you would let her marry him now. she needs to know, if you don't she might hate you later on because you kept it a secret and she thinks you like him.

[Humilious]

if you had a boyfriend and he kissed your friend, then found out both of them never said anything about it, how would you feel? your friend deserves to know the truth, especially when it comes to this issue. he obviously thought it was no big deal, when it certainly was. who's to say he won't do it again to another girl? i would tell your friend now so she can work it out with her boyfriend.

[Painterlyy]

^^ Oh yea that's true too.
Tell her before she finds it out from him. Then she'll believe that you were just going to keep it from her and never tell her.

[Regina Rae]

I don't think you should tell her.

Not only would your friend be hurt, but a 3 year relationship might be ruined. All because of a kiss.
Granted, he should not have kissed you. But is it really worth causing a big thing over?

Some things are better left as secrets.

[leongfun]

I would tell her. Remember, you guys had a few drinks. If he wasn't drinking, than that's another story.

But if you do tell her, you know how girls are... She'll probably be mad at you, stay with boyfriend or believe you, and split up with her boyfriend.

[xoxomcm]

Some things are better left as secrets.

yes, some things are better left as secrets.
but, IMO, all secrets are going to be out in the open, (?)

and if u don't tell her tight away she's gonna get mad at u, and that may ruin ur friendship with her.
also, if u keep it as a secret, ur gonna feel guilty for not telling, and it might eat u up inside.

[have_faith]

i say you tell her. it's better in the long run. she may be upset for the time being. but would u rather her be with a guy like that? yea, she's in love and wat not. but hurting from a broken heart is inevitable. also, if u keep it from her and she finds out later, you'd look like the bad guy also. even if we know u meant well, she might not see it that way. she'd be more upset with you then than she might be now if u tell her.

[musicisadrian93]

You need to tell your friend cause if he tells her, she more than likely will be mad at you for not telling her first.
Plus her bf isn't all that faithful

[LindySzeto]

TELL HER, not because you're afraid the 3 year relationship would be ruined, but because you love her. If you truly love her as a friend, you would've told her right there and then. If he would kiss you, his girlfriends best friend, who knows what he's been doing behind her back or what he has done to her. Seriously, a guy like that, doesn't deserve a faithful person. For him to laugh after doing something so wrong behind his girls back is just absolute DISRESPECT to her...and you!



Do the right thing and be honest. It's always better, if she trips and ends the friendship, it wasn't meant to be. True friends would believe one another. If she gets mad at you, than well, there's really nothing you can do. It just shows that she's choosing a GUY over a friend. If I were her, I'd want the truth.

[ShadowMax76]

do you want your gf to continue having a bf like that?
she'll get mad at you for a little while, but.. who knows.

[es623]

yes i agree with most the people, tell her. and make sure hes present too(as someone else mentioned) so he cant deny it OR make up some story saying you kissed him

[Mirae-chan]

not telling her isn't going to hide the pain. It's not like you would let her marry him now. she needs to know, if you don't she might hate you later on because you kept it a secret and she thinks you like him.

I totally agree with naoto, you should tell her NOW because even though she might be mad at first she'd be even more furious later if she knows you kept it from her for say weeks and yeah that you probably like him.

[可愛い]

gurl, u need to tell ur friend ASAP. that dude CANNOT be trusted.

and wait for her reaction. she could blame u coz some girls stick up for their guy no matter what.

in that case, dont be friends with the both of them anymore. but if she believes u & trusts u... still there will be a rift between the 3 of u. its basically them against you. gtfo. seriously.

ive been in the same situation where my best friends bf made a pass t me. i told her asap & she & i are still friends. but her bf hates me. but.. they eventualy broke up months later.

I don't think you should tell her.

Not only would your friend be hurt, but a 3 year relationship might be ruined. All because of a kiss.
Granted, he should not have kissed you. But is it really worth causing a big thing over?

Some things are better left as secrets.

no. just NO. any girl would want to know who her bf has been kissing besides her. id wanna know.

[5.mystline]

The longer you leave It, the bigger It'll get?.

[Lie]

You pretty much have no choice but to tell her otherwise she'll end up finding out some other way (like when they break up and he wants to hurt her, so he pulls out the, "Well, I made out with your friend anyway!" line), and she'll lose all trust in you for not telling her.

[g-yo]

Completely agree with naoto, disagree with Regina Rae
You have to tell her or else it'll get bigger and someday she'll find out and blame you
If you're her best friend and she considers you one, then she'll trust you

About her relationship with him, well they're going to have to discuss it and deal with it.
Better to break up now then make it worse later.
Besides, it'll teach her a thing about moving in with somebody after a year -.-

[Jinni32]

A friend of mine recently told me about my ex coming on to her when he was still with me and after. I never blamed her and all my anger went to my ex. She told me in the nicest way she could and how much she wanted to tell me but was scared at what might happen.

However, she didn't tell me till around 3 months after we broke up. She was scared about what might happened and I understood why. There are people that take it out on the innocent. Just watching cheaters and the ones being cheated on almost always attack the other women/man even when they didn't know. I've always hated that.

This whole situation I feel has made my friendship with her stronger. She now knows she wont be blamed if such a thing happens again.

And I really loved him.

But really this could get really ugly for you or your friendship could become stronger.

Maybe watch some cheaters episode and bring up a conversation about it to get some of her view on those kinds of situation. Or make up a story of some one you "know" that's in your position and see what she thinks.

Good luck!

EDIT: I also saw something on t.v about telling a friend you don't like their boyfriend. One situation I felt was nice was a group of friends who all didn't think this one girls soon to be husband was good for her. They ended up telling her that just before the wedding. They just gave their opinion and made it clear that whatever she decided they'd stand by her and support her on it. She still went on to marry him and she appreciated her friends letting her know or something to that effect. I think it was Oprah >_>

[peppermintsugar]

Look at it this way: She absolutely WILL find out eventually. Don't even bother looking at it from any other, "she may never know" point of view, because things like this ALWAYS get out in the open.

Now, if you were in her shoes, would you want her to man-up (woman? lol) and admit what happened now, or would you rather wait until maybe someone else finds out and tells you about it, and then you'd have to sit there knowing that neither your friend nor your boyfriend were trustworthy enough to step up and tell you the truth about the situation.

She may be mad at first, but in the end, she will really, really, appreciate what you're doing for her. Plus, who knows, maybe you're not the only one he's unfaithful with and you're doing her a favor.