[grawrx3]

I'm in a situation where I don't know what to do...

So here's the situation. There's this guy I met through my friend. Let's name him Purple. He IMed me on AIM one day from my friend's AIM and started talking to me. He told me about my friend's .. really bad side of her life I never knew till he told me. Ever since then, I talked to him about her (because he's her best friend) and he would text me using her phone during parties and say things like "I wish you were here..." and stuff like that. I simply brushed it off because I mean, he's a guy? Guys always say those kinds of things. A week after I met him, I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend and we encountered some problems. I wanted a boy's outlook about what happened so I told purple about the situation and before I could finish the story purple immediately stated he hates my boyfriend. We got into an argument and such but dropped the subject. A couple of days later I saw my friend and told her I didn't tell purple the whole story. Later that night, purple texted telling me to tell the whole story but I said no. He kept telling me to tell him so he can just bluntly state that he just hates my boyfriend. I refused to and said to drop the subject but in the end he said he didn't feel like talking. I texted back say "?" but he didn't text me back. Ten minutes later, my friend texts me "What did you say to him?" and I said "Nothing. why?" she texts back "He's missing in action." I was confused. I mean.. I don't know. Why should he be THAT mad? So I text back saying "Why? I don't get why he's so mad about it..." Then she texts me back saying "That's what happens when he hates someone with a passion.. He has an elementary crush on you." And this shocked me. From there on, I confronted him about his feelings and he confessed to liking me. But apparently, "elementary" crush was a bit.. not correct. He was in LOVE with me. But, I don't feel that way towards him... So now, he's moving away .. on sunday. I have not seen him before. We only talked through text and AIM. He has heard my voice countless times when he forced my friend to call me. I feel really bad.. I mean, my friend said if I want to see him, she'll arrange for me to see him perform (singing) on sunday morning before he leaves. But, I've thought about it and what does ... saying good-bye to him in person going to do to his heart? She said, if I touch him(hug) or even simply just BE there with him, he'll break into a million pieces. I feel like I need to ... just at least say goodbye... before he goes... but I don't want him to break into a million pieces or feel even more hurt... I don't feel like a phone conversation is right either. I need to be there in person. But ? I'm confused.

Please help?

Sorry the post was long. I hope there wasn't anything unclear. ^^;

Any opinions will help. Thank you.

[kansaieito]

You'd do more harm than anything and you know it. You don't owe him anything since you have nothing going on with him. In fact, showing up will paint the picture that you do like him like that. So why even bother going and screwing with the kid? Call and tell him bye. leave it at that.

[SUPER.NANA]

In my opinion, it wouldn't hurt to go and bid him a farewell. He's moving away near or far, you'll probably see less or him or not see him at all. Just bid him farewell and tell him to take care of himself. Thank him for putting his time and heart into you even if you couldn't return the feeling. It's only giving him closure when he leaves. At least...he'll leave with a smile.

I want him...he seems so sweet...

[Regina Rae]

Long story short please.

[kg123]

Y do u feel the need to say goodbye? u dont even like him. and how long is he going to stay overseas? how old is he? geez...If i were you I wouldnt go there : 1st because maybe your bf wont like the idea of you seeing someone that has a crush on you. 2nd because...sunday morning?

[cavil.]

Long story short please.

Terms
OP - Original Poster
PUR - OP's friend who has crush on her
BF - Boyfriend
F - Friend

Short version

OP met PUR. PUR and OP had fun. OP met BF. OP talks about BF w/ PUR. PUR tells OP that he hates BF. OP talks with PUR's F. F texts WTF IS HPN? OP texts back WTF too. F texts OP that PUR hates BF because he likes OP. OP doesn't know what to do. OP wants to know if she should say bye to PUR or not.

[It4cH1]

its common fact that girls should NEVER EVER talk about their relationships and ask for opinions from other guys, who might have feelings for you. obviously they will try lead you in the way, so you break up with your boyfriend.

if you don't have any feelings for him, you have no obligation to see him off. it won't make it any harder for him, if you were there. whatever choice you make, he seriously has to man up and understand that not all crushes are fulfilled and learn from the experience.

and ps.

when a guy says "i wish you were here..." that is not what guys normally say all the time. it means he has a crush on you.

[grawrx3]

You'd do more harm than anything and you know it. You don't owe him anything since you have nothing going on with him. In fact, showing up will paint the picture that you do like him like that. So why even bother going and screwing with the kid? Call and tell him bye. leave it at that.

I don't have his number. I'm not trying to paint a picture... he's my friend. I can't just let him leave without even saying goodbye. My friend says he refuses to talk to me because he knows that if he does, he won't be able to let go. To me, I just wanted to say bye because I have no clue if he'll ever talk to me again.

Y do u feel the need to say goodbye? u dont even like him. and how long is he going to stay overseas? how old is he? geez...If i were you I wouldnt go there : 1st because maybe your bf wont like the idea of you seeing someone that has a crush on you. 2nd because...sunday morning?

The only reason why I wanted to say bye was because I have no clue when he's coming back. he's planning to live there. To start a new life. My boyfriend doesn't care. He knows that Purple can't steal me away from him. Well, of course it seems stupid to go to him because it implies I "like" him but I know my feelings. I don't like him. I love him as a friend. He knows how I feel about my boyfriend. I just.. feel like I need to say bye.. I don't know.

its common fact that girls should NEVER EVER talk about their relationships and ask for opinions from other guys, who might have feelings for you. obviously they will try lead you in the way, so you break up with your boyfriend.

if you don't have any feelings for him, you have no obligation to see him off. it won't make it any harder for him, if you were there. whatever choice you make, he seriously has to man up and understand that not all crushes are fulfilled and learn from the experience.

and ps.

when a guy says "i wish you were here..." that is not what guys normally say all the time. it means he has a crush on you.

Well I didn't know he had a crush on me. xD That's the sad thing. He faked that he liked my best friend ... lol. Nah, he told me he doesn't want me to break up with my boyfriend. He said whatever makes me happy will make him happy. Well, he was deciding weather or not to see me before he lives but apparently he saw me today ... with my friend in his car. After he saw me, my friend said he couldn't hold himself together. Ah, yeah. But I've had guys said that to me and they were kidding lol.

fyi;
I do NOT like him. The only reason why I'm confused is because I feel like he deserves a right goodbye from me. Not just some phone call. It seems really stupid to go up to him. He has helped me A LOT as a friend. I haven't told you the things he's done for me ... It's just like your older brother moving away and you have no clue if he's coming backk... that's how i feel.

[kansaieito]

I don't have his number. I'm not trying to paint a picture... he's my friend. I can't just let him leave without even saying goodbye. My friend says he refuses to talk to me because he knows that if he does, he won't be able to let go. To me, I just wanted to say bye because I have no clue if he'll ever talk to me again.

I don't think you understood what I was saying. 0__0 Anyway, you showing up will wither give him false hope and/or make things hard on him...that is fact. He knows this...hence not talking to you. It just comes off as selfish to me. I mean hell... you keep saying this like "I can't let him just leave..." and "I just wanted to..." Do you want him miserable and stuck on you? Seems he's made the right decision for himself. Let him move on like he's obviously trying to do.

Honestly, I understand wanting to say goodbye, but if I know it's best for another person that I don't...I won't. If he's your friend and you care enough...care enough to let him get over you.

[LoveJiyong]

i dont get it.
so why is he always using your friend's phone??
are they like always together or something??
and how long have you known him & met him for him to fall in love w/ you??
i'm confused.

but to what i understand.
if you feel like he deserves a goodbye then might as well just go for it.
it'll get all those annoying thoughts out of your mind. i'm sure of it.

[Painterlyy]

First off I would like to say that purple is my fave color. So woot!
lol ok...got that off my chest.

I agree with what people are saying. If you have no feelings for him, then you don't need to see him off. it'll probably make it harder for him...and maybe even put some thoughts in his mind.

[evans]

why'd you have to say bye to him in person? i mean, if you do then what will he interpret it as? to you it might be because you guys are 'friends' of some sort, but to him, it might mean that you do care, somehow. and another fact is that you guys aren't even really real life friends, simply connected by a friend, and that you guys chat online. just tell him goodbye online or something, hard hearted, but i think it's what you have to do? >< my opinion only.

[lala4ever]

hmm..well i'm a girl, but if i was purple, i would honestly want you to come see me before i leave. i mean, he's mad so of course he would say he doesn't wanna see you or he would break down. just go there, with NO physical contact whatsoever, and say goodbye.

[LindySzeto]

Just go and say goodbye. It's better than leading him on. Though, I understand that you are not doing that. There is no harm in saying goodbye and wishing someone a better life... Think of it as this, you love him as a good friend, so be a good friend and do what you feel is right. Can't go wrong with a sincere feeling. If you say goodbye to him, he'll understand, even if it hurts right now, he'll eventually get it and move on. He's had a crush on you for so long, but only because he wasn't sure if you felt the same way. Now that he does, just say your goodbye's and wish him the best!

[,astrolicious]

I'd go. To just end things.
Tie up any lose ends.

But it's your choice