[honey&bits]

So im having a bit of a hard time moving on from a fling right now, like reallly realllly hard. Ive never felt so unsure and stumped in my life. We weren't together but he promised me so many things and i feel played but he said he never meant to string me along...just didn't want to be n a relationship right then. I feel so much regret that we never had a chance at anything and now its just over, i see him everywhere i go, to my cousin's house (they're friends) online (myspace, aim etc) and soon i'll have to see him at school. How am i supposed to feel about this, i can't completely hate him so i can't move on that much faster, he hurt me so bad i don't want to date anytime soon but that just means it'll take even longer to forget him if i don't have someone else. And i hate it because i know he's over me, he acts so casual about it, it sucks knowing he meant so much to me but i was just another girl to him.

So just wanna ask you guys to share your experiences and expertise on moving on, or if ur in the process of moving on how you're coping it with it.

Firstly, your story?

Were you the dumper or the dumped?

How long did it take you to move on completely?

How did you feel during the process?

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah]

What kept you from moving on?

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?

As for me I know i'll get over him soon because time does heal, but it doesn't make the healing process any less painless nor does time go very fast.

[peppermintsugar]

Stuff like this can be really tough, so firstly, you get my condolences.

Firstly, your story? Boyfriend and I dated for about a year, I lived with him for four months of that year. I was young and stupid and was pretty unfaithful during that period of time. He was a really, really, great guy.

Were you the dumper or the dumped? I got dumped big time LOL I sure deserved it, too.

How long did it take you to move on completely? Hmm, about two years probably. There's a saying that for however long you love a person, it'll take twice as long to get over them.

How did you feel during the process? Well, we weren't very smart about the situation. He broke up with me, but we still did everything people in a relationship would do. We kissed, hugged, held hands, slept together, said "I love you", etc etc, so I'm sure that really prolonged the process. Once we really stopped doing those things altogether, I found that it got easier to cut those feelings out of my life, and work towards holding a friendship with him.

What did you do to move on? We stopped doing all of the aforementioned things, and I started opening up to the possibility of other men existing in the world, haha. We still talked every day online and such, we just kept it very platonic, and it helped a lot. We really wanted to have a friendship after the break up, so we didn't really consider cutting off all communications as an option.

What kept you from moving on? Like I said, we acted like we were together even after we weren't. That was probably the worst thing. Aside from that, everything reminded me of him. After a while you just sort of gain connections between people and everyday things in your life when you spend a lot of time with someone. It takes a while for you to be able to do things without thinking of that person, and honestly, sometimes some things do still remind me of him, but it's not in a romantic way.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on? Just remember that even though it hurts a lot right now, time really does heal all wounds. Having people to talk to, or things to take your mind off of it helps a lot, also.

[teaparty.]

[b]Firstly, your story?[/b] Went out for like half a year. Loved him to death. Broke it up because of schoolwork. Too busy. ]:

Were you the dumper or the dumped? Dumper.

How long did it take you to move on completely? Didn't take longer than a month. I just pep-talked myself out of it, and after a few months' break from each other, we started talking again, so it's all good.

How did you feel during the process? Felt pretty empty on the inside.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I started a sport to occupy my free time, and I became friends with my teammates, so it didn't take me that long to move on.

What kept you from moving on? At first, just the fact that I couldn't call him every night/spend time with him.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on? Find something to keep yourself busy! Go out with friends, find a hobby, or spend time with family.


Good luck to you. (: It's a hard thing to go through, but sooner or later it'll become a thing of the past.

[Mzz L]

Firstly, your story?
- He was my " first love " in our youngin days that was rekindled. So it was 2 years in highschool and another year now.
He tried very, very, very hard to get me back so I gave it another go. In the end he betrayed me.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?
- The dumper.

How long did it take you to move on completely?
- It's been exactly a month today. So I'm still in that process.

How did you feel during the process?
- ^ Haha, yes I've been keeping count because I gave myself ONE month to mourn. I knew no matter how much I was going to push it aside I was going to feel everything I'm going to feel so I gave myself a time limit to just ride it all out. I've felt hurt, angry, missed him, happy, relieved, then hurt and angry/sad all over again. But I've noticed I'm nowhere near as depressed as I was our first break up when we were younger. Either I'm immune or I wasn't as attached this time around.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah]
- Put away all his stuff. Do things to improve life. Priorities straight. & that One month rule.

What kept you from moving on?
- Nothing, now that my month is up - time to go all out!

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
- Most cliche saying of all the time "Time heals all" IT's true. Think back and see how many times/things you've said to yourself "I'll never get over this!" and looking back, it's over. You're over it.
But when you really love someone it will hurt for some time but just live your life. Don't let it affect your everyday life cause no matter what it Will hurt.

[random azn]

Firstly, your story?
Met him during after school for a club meeting. We talked, joked, hit it off. We trade contact info and starting chatting for a month. Some how we ended up dating. The first two months was good, the third month too much drama. Basically there really wasn't any trust between us. Got into fights constantly, then after a much heated fight, we broke up. It's been almost two years now.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?
Neutral

How long did it take you to move on completely?
2 years? I wouldn't say completely.

How did you feel during the process?
I'm currently in the process and I can tell you, it feels like mini cooper. The littlest of things bring back memories. The first couple of months I was pissed, I felt so anger at him for just leaving things as they were and not cleaning up the mess he left behind. I couldn't stand anything that reminded me of him; his friends, his items, his presence. Everything that was of his cause my inside to boiled up in anger. I hated it so much that I just isolated myself from all of it. 6 months into it I realized I didn't need to be like this. He was already moving on 3 months after we broke up. Starting from then I was determined.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah]
I just left things how they were as much as I can. I throw away certain things he gave me. I did lose some weight.But time does heal everything.

What kept you from moving on?
Seeing him with his girlfriend made me think if he can move on why can't i?

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
Time heals the soul.

[1n_c0mplete]

Firstly, your story? me and a girl had sort of a fling, but we did some stuff that usually only close couples do. sort of started officially dating a bit later, but then found out she was getting back together with her ex behind my back. and they even had s__. broke up immediately.

Were you the dumper or the dumped? dumper...well technically dumped then dumper? since she went behind my back n all.....

How long did it take you to move on completely? as of now, it has been 2.5 months and counting.

How did you feel during the process? the first few weeks to a month are the toughest, felt absolutely miserable. i was really really pissed off too, and pissed off and miserable do NOt go well together at all haha. now its a bit better now that a little more time has passed and i've done some stuff to help heal the wound (i'll leave this for the next question)

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah] basically i kept myself busy, and then after the first month, i realized that shutting myself off from everyone was just going to make it worse so i kept going out with friends, and going to events and met a lot of new friends. I also got a fulltime job during that time so i could keep my mind off of it. i put leona lewis' "better in time" on repeat for a month and as of now, its been played 1042 times according to itunes LOL.

What kept you from moving on? it was hard coz we did so many things together, and the fact that it was all suddenly gone hurt a lot.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on? "it'll all get better in time" but at the same time you cant just let time do everything, you gotta put a little effort in it too like keep yourself busy, go out etc. good luck =]

[lalaFLY_x3]

Firstly, your story? i was with a guy for almost half a year. he went behind my back for 3 months with a good friend of his that knew we were together.

Were you the dumper or the dumped? dumped in the end, no matter how you look at it.

How long did it take you to move on completely? i kind of lost count of how long it took. to be honest, i'd say about 2-3 months but in front of everyone, i put up a strong front after 2 weeks.

How did you feel during the process? i'll be honest, it felt like hell took over. i'd hate to hear about people talk about their own relationships & whatnot. i never seemed to trust guys the same way either. i tried to prove myself to be better off without him but it killed me inside whenever i went online & saw his screen name and whatnot.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah] i proved myself to be better than his expectations of me. i tried to trust the people around me more & went on my days meeting new people. i threw away everything that reminded me of him. when i found out he went behind my back, i blocked him out of my life completely.

What kept you from moving on? the memories.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on? i'd say don't let him effect you in a way that when you look back, you'll hate yourself for. just let time fix itself. i mean, now, i'm perfectly fine. i see him now & i don't wonder anymore. i'm not saying cut him out of your life, but try to minimize the amount of impact he will have on you by letting the communication drop for a little bit.

[lis_sing]

Firstly, your story?
My (current) bf dumped me about a year ago. He didn't really give me a straight reason why though. Just that he thought it was a good idea to be apart since we're in college.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?
I was dumped. After he broke up with me, I met him one time and I tried to kiss him to reconcile but he turned his face away from me. I was so heartbroken by that so I stopped talking to him.

How long did it take you to move on completely?
About 4-5 months, maybe a little longer

How did you feel during the process?
Ugly, unattractive, no guy would want me. I was very very depressed and cried A LOT.

What did you do to move on?
Had a rebound with a guy friend. It didn't work out. I then deleted all of my bf's texts and destroyed of all our pictures together. Also, more and more crying

What kept you from moving on?
He was my best friend since we were kids and thought of not having him in my life was really unbearable.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
So many people that you are going to talk to about your breakup will tell you over and over and over again that you're so much better off without that person and that you can do much better or that your ex was an idiot for leaving you. Even though all that stuff sounds lame and cliche, it's really true. If your ex couldn't appreciate who you are with all your personality and/or faults then they really don't deserve you. I learned this while trying to get over my bf and it works.

I also just wanna say he came back to me and told that it was a huge mistake leaving me so we're together again. However, I keep him on a short leash now and I never fail to remind him about how terrible he made me feel when he dumped me which makes him feel guilty. (Cruel but it's karma)

[hisDORK]

Firstly, your story?

a guy and i were together for almost a year, we were so happy, but unfortunately i wasn't talkative so it caused him to not talk to me that much either. I loved him from the bottom of my heart, but i figured that for quite some time, he wasn't being honest with me. We didn't argue with each other or anything, we just don't talk about it and ignore one another. we finally did ended up arguing and that was also when we broke it off.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?

Kind of both, i didn't want to be the dumper, but neither did he, so he made me dump him. it's complicated.

How long did it take you to move on completely?

I'm still not over him. I was in the process, all of a sudden, he pops back into my life..

How did you feel during the process?

I was devastated, I felt like there was no one i could trust. Kind of bitter and miserable. But after a while i began to feel better, till he showed up again, and not everything is frustrating.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah]

I cut my hair a couple days after it all had happened. I talked to other people about it. I hardly ever went on my laptop anymore because he would send me these poems and leave me little messages, and it would hurt me every time i see them.

What kept you from moving on?

our memories, the things we shared. my love and trust that was for him.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?

you should listen to better in time by Leona Lewis. Don't ever let him affect how you're living your life, because one you do, you can't turn back. I learned that the hard way. And even if this one person can't see how great of a person you are, there are others who will.

good luck to anyone :)

[san-ni-ichi]

I was sorta in the same situation as you, sorry to hear about it

Firstly, your story? Well, i had a 'friends with benefits' kind of relationship. We did stuff that normal couples do but it ended about three months ago. I suppose we didn't know each other that well. And she acts like it never happened or anything >_> She goes to my school and everything, so it's hard i admit...

Were you the dumper or the dumped? I got dumped...

How long did it take you to move on completely? I'd like to think i've moved on completely, but the feelings keep coming back

How did you feel during the process? Great when i was thinking that i was moving on, but frustrated and annoyed when that wasn't the case.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc] I started talking to more girls at school, at tutor and stuff. I stayed away from where she hung out.

What kept you from moving on? I seriously don't know

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on? I'm sorry, i don't have much advice cos i haven't moved on myself

[kayara<3]

Firstly, your story?
I met a guy, we went out for a little while, I freaked out because it was going to quick, things were awkward for about a year. At the end of the year, we started to slowly patch things up again, and things were just getting back to normal when I had to go and do my thing and screw it up. And then HE screwed things up even more with his reaction to my original screw up. But thinking back, I know that I was in the wrong, just like he said. But back then, it took me a really long time to figure that out. And by the time I did, I was too proud to go and ask for his forgiveness, not to mention that it was too late.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?
Kind of both. The first time I dumped him [for no good reason], but then he dumped me[for a good reason].

How long did it take you to move on completely?
Been about 9 months. Still not really there yet.

How did you feel during the process?
Angry, frustrated with myself, reminiscent, and very "what if"-ish.

What did you do to move on?
Rebound [mistake], as well as getting a little support from my friends I don't talk to them about it any more, since it's been a while, but whenever I think about him, I know I still feel bad.

What kept you from moving on?
Just remembering how good it could have been if I'd just given it the chance.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
There's not really anything to say. As you said, time heals. But try to keep away from the love songs that are supposed to make you think about somebody, at least for a while. They really don't make you feel any better

[sodaniechea]

Firstly, your story?
I was with a guy for about 2.5 years. Things went downhill a year into the relationship because he started to become very mean to me. He hated the fact that I kept in touch with my friends and distant relatives [found out a few months in that he was somewhat anti-social], hated that I love to read and write [preferred that I would spend time with him instead], and just acted like a kid.


Were you the dumper or the dumped?
Dumper

How long did it take you to move on completely?
A few weeks


How did you feel during the process?
Missed him a bit [his nice side] but it was for the better


What did you do to move on?
Read and write again for one, and spent time with people that I lost connection with. Then I wrote a song

What kept you from moving on?
Thinking what if he changed?

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
Life gets better if you allow it to. I'm sure you have your own goals to achieve, so go just work for that.

[lala4ever]

Firstly, your story?

-well we hated each other for about 2 years, and didn't talk to each other. then one day he randomly talked to me, and he turned out to be a really sweet guy. i could say that he was my first love, for about 8 months.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?

-ehh..both. it was an on and off thing

How long did it take you to move on completely?

-still trying to move on right now. every time we ended it, i tried to move on, but i got sucked back in. the first time i tried to move on was about..3 months into the relationship.

How did you feel during the process?

-like crap. i cried constantly and everything reminded me of him.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah]

-rebound and then nothing.

What kept you from moving on?

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?

-as weird as it sounds, talking to him about normal things without any romantic affection helped me a lot. it helped me to stop crying. i think i only cried because i wanted to keep him as a friend.

[myxo]

Firstly, your story?
Dated 2.5 yrs. I still don't know wtf happened.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?
Dumpee turned dumper. Confusing? He didn't want our relationship one day (so I was basically dumped), but then he wanted it again a couple weeks later even though I was done.

How long did it take you to move on completely?
...still moving on, but the wound is healing. Wanna see the scab?

How did you feel during the process?
Think manic depressive... One minute I hated him with so much intensity that the next minute I would just break down and miss him.

What did you do to move on?
My friends were my saviour. I did everything to keep myself busy. I did stupid things. I got in a car accident, and it really woke me up. Life's too short to be miserable.

What kept you from moving on?
The way memories of him kept creeping in my mind randomly... while I'm driving, in the middle of a coversation, texting, reading, you name it. I didn't think it was possible to think of someone that much.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
Regardless of how impossible moving on seems, it's possible. So cliche but time heals all wounds. You think this hurts now? Wait til something more dramatic happens..

[StephyT]

Firstly, your story?
- I dated my ex for like 4 months. I honestly didn't really like him to begin with, so I guess it was my mistake to date him at all.

Were you the dumper or the dumped?
- I was the....opener? Haha. Well, it happened like this. It was after 5th period art class that we both had together. He ignored me the whole entire day, so I was pretty fed up because I knew he wanted to break up with me because I didn't like him anymore (I didn't know how to break up with someone). Then I just went up and asked him "Will you break up with me?" And he said something like "yeah...." Hella lame...................

How long did it take you to move on completely?
- I think like 4 days.. he was a good friend. But I don't miss him anymore.

How did you feel during the process?
- To sum everything up: relieved.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah]
- I cut my hair and deleted all the pics we had together. I don't even know why I had so many pictures with him. They were all taken by other people. I cut my hair because I've been wanting to and I finally had the time now.

What kept you from moving on?
- Nothing.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on?
- Just let time heal you. If someone doesn't want to be with you, they don't deserve you anyways.

[hiswendy]

Firstly, your story? We had a thing but we weren't an official couple. The gist of it: Our story 'together' went on for 2 years. He was too cowardly to make a move, I was too proud. Then I left the country.

Were you the dumper or the dumped? Neither because there was no goodbye, closure.

How long did it take you to move on completely? 6...years? Actually I might not be fully moved on yet, haha.

How did you feel during the process? Frustrated.

What did you do to move on? [i.e rebound, or nothing at all just let time heal etc. I myself cut my hair, lost weight, changed my room completely to get rid of any memories we had in there, a bit extreme but yah] What the hell do I do for 6 years? Live life, obviously.

What kept you from moving on? A foolish belief that he's still the one. Pfft.

Any advice or words for those out there who are having a hard time moving on? If you want to live, you'll live. If you want to move on, you'll move on. It'll take time, just be patient.