[UglyIsBeautiful]

I feel that a lot of who we are is shaped by our experiences. People will always say to you that it's up to you and that you have the power to change your life. It's true to some extent. But there are also things you cannot change. There's this quote from a movie and it goes, "The things that make up who we are are also the things we didn't choose."

I find that to be very true. For example, we don't get to chose our parents. We don't get to chose where we grew up. We don't get to chose a lot of things.

It's only later on in life that you are actually able to implement your own decisions. But by then, you are already an adult and shaped by many experiences. And what if a lot of your experiences are bad? What if you had a lot of bad luck growing up? Can things really change for the better?

I think by the time you are grown up and finally have the power to control your life, it may already be too late and that the only thing you can really do is do the best you can with what you have and hope for some luck.

As they say, luck favors the prepared but what if the opportunity never comes?

I can honestly say that despite the circumstances, I've done the best I could. Even my parents told me that. They said I've stretched my potential to the limit. But even though I know this, I still feel depressed at times because I look at what other people have and I realize I'll probably never get them and is out of my reach.

It's not that I want to be different from everyone else. It's not my choice. But growing up the way I did and the circumstances and experiences I had, it's almost like it forces you to be different. I sometimes just wanna ask the heavens, "Why me? Why was I burdened with this kind of bad luck?"

[sasuke-kun]

dude, stop blaming your past for everything. you have a choice in everything you do. you could have run away from your parents. you could have run away from where you live. seems infeasible, but its still a choice you didnt make. if you just wait for opportunities to come to you by chance and luck, youll never get anywhere. you need to go out into the world and make opportunities. you still seem to make these same online posts about how lonely or bad off you are. i sympathize with people like these because i used to be like that. all alone, depressed, no friends. but, if you keep going on like this it can be very unhealthy. you are totally grown up, you have 100% control of your life now. dont blame your situation on your past. you are now choosing to continue being this way.

seriously, not to be funny, the recent shooting where the guy went on a shooting rampage at the gym because he couldnt find a girl, reminds me of you. he called it auschwitz syndrome...

[-_-]

I'm going to have to agree with the above poster. This generation seems to be the "woe is me" generation.

[kansaieito]

happiness is not determined by the wealth of others but rather by the wealth within ourselves.

if you spend your life chasing after what other people deem the good life, you'll always running.

and for the record, everyone is different from everyone else. Some try to pretend to be who they aren't to fit into the status quo. Being who you are does not make you unlucky. it makes you good enough. be proud to be good enough to be who you are and stop trying to be everyone else.

[Tuffcore]

There's this quote from a movie and it goes, "The things that make up who we are are also the things we didn't choose."...

...It's not that I want to be different from everyone else. It's not my choice. But growing up the way I did and the circumstances and experiences I had, it's almost like it forces you to be different. I sometimes just wanna ask the heavens, "Why me? Why was I burdened with this kind of bad luck?"

This does not explain why a black boy, born and raised by a black father and white mother during a very racist time in history, grew up to one day become the President of the United States of America.

This does not explain why i looked at a 50lb dumbbell on the floor at 8, only to be arm curling it 12 years later. In fact, life is much like working out. The more weights you lift today, the more weights you'll be able to lift tomorrow. BUT, you cannot skip all the steps in between and pump iron like you're Schwarzenegger from day one. You cannot skip all the steps in between and walk on a stage and own it like Schwarzenegger either. You gotta work at it. One pound at a time. Build your character, personality, esteem, charisma, etc, one day at a time.

You should be happy that God hit you with so many chances and opportunities to workout your character and personality at such a young age. You should blame no one but yourself for not taking advantage of the opportunities and you should put equal blame on yourself for not starting now. Instead, choosing to document reasons why divine intersession didn't hold your hand through all the intermediate steps to get you to where you want to be in life.

Barack Obama has been told he's a piece of crap his whole life. Why did he choose to ignore them and listen to himself? There are many quotes in life dealing with positivity and optimism, why do you choose to self-fulfill a fallacious quote instead?

[FESHA]

My goodness you sound so depressing.

Coming across this..from Kewei Tay blog post..I like these quotes...

Herzog wrote back a personal letter essentially ran along these lines:

"Quit your complaining. It’s not the world’s fault that you wanted to be an artist. It’s not the world’s job to enjoy the films you make, and it’s certainly not the world’s obligation to pay for your dreams. Nobody wants to hear it. Steal a camera if you have to, but stop whining and get back to work."

===

I say, we need words like this once in a while to remind ourselves -
If nobody likes your work, it's not their fault.

Get back to work.
Work smart, if not harder.

[angelxglo]

It's not that I want to be different from everyone else. It's not my choice. But growing up the way I did and the circumstances and experiences I had, it's almost like it forces you to be different. I sometimes just wanna ask the heavens, "Why me? Why was I burdened with this kind of bad luck?"

i think your problem lies in that your too absorbed in your own definition of bad luck. look around people are suffering all over, its not just you. whatever your problem is, i'm sure you have it much better than those who live in battlef fields or third world countries that lack the essentials to everyday living. don't always look on the negative side. dont ask the heavens why, because its not going to answer you and make your life better. the only person with the power to do that is you. all you have to do is look at it in a different angle and prioritize whats more important. so what if your different? aren't we all different? imagine how boring it is if everyone is the same.

change that word "different" to "unique", doesn't it sound so much better?

[motheritried]

I knew a person once who was totally neurotic and a total downer because he was hung up on something that happened when he was born: he was born dead. He always blamed every problem he had and just couldn't get past being "born blue." I found it completely ridiculous and lame that he was depressed over something like that. He's alive now, so what's so terrible about being born dead? What's the point in getting hung up on those kinds of things?

I know a girl whose parents told her that she could "be all she wanted to be if she tried," but the girl aimed much higher than she was capable of. She was a pathological liar. I can't say that she made things up because of her parents reach-for-the-stars-keep-trying mantra because I'm not a psychoanalysis, but I don't see how much good it is to delude a person. I understand support is important, but there are limits.

My point is, you have to accept certain things. So you were born dead; it happened, but you're alive now. So you're not very smart; not everyone is born a genius. What If I was born into a well off family? What If I didn't have "bad luck?" Stop. Don't waste your life thinking of the What Ifs because it's a total waste of time. MOVE ON.

[a217girl]

i used to be a total loner in middle school and high school...
never hung out with people after school. had like 2 friends. just spent alot of time in front of the computer

however, i think i got REALLY lucky and met great people in college. it opened me up aLOT. and i can actually say i have real friends now, and a real life. my mom used to be worried about me since i never went out, but now she's worrying that i stay out TOO late.

[derrek]

+1 to Fesha, I love that quote. It's going in my collection!

[HERMIT]

I think by the time you are grown up and finally have the power to control your life, it may already be too late and that the only thing you can really do is do the best you can with what you have and hope for some luck.

It's only too late when you fail to recognize that you have that power to control your life.
But once you know that you have that ability to control your life, it's a brand new ballgame. It's up to you from that point on to capitalize on your opportunities. Create your own luck.

[brownman90561495]

it's all in the mind your thoughts can determine your destiny. don't blame it on anything else.

[Pogichinoy]

This generation seems to be the "woe is me" generation.

I agree.

Mate, take some responsibility of yourself and make change happen. Sulking about your troubles gets you nowhere. Outcasts choose to be an outcast.

I remember telling you this many months ago but nothings changed since then.

Take those dance classes you mentioned before.

[HaplessChild]

I feel that a lot of who we are is shaped by our experiences. People will always say to you that it's up to you and that you have the power to change your life. It's true to some extent. But there are also things you cannot change. There's this quote from a movie and it goes, "The things that make up who we are are also the things we didn't choose."

I find that to be very true. For example, we don't get to chose our parents. We don't get to chose where we grew up. We don't get to chose a lot of things.

It's only later on in life that you are actually able to implement your own decisions. But by then, you are already an adult and shaped by many experiences. And what if a lot of your experiences are bad? What if you had a lot of bad luck growing up? Can things really change for the better?

I think by the time you are grown up and finally have the power to control your life, it may already be too late and that the only thing you can really do is do the best you can with what you have and hope for some luck.

As they say, luck favors the prepared but what if the opportunity never comes?

I can honestly say that despite the circumstances, I've done the best I could. Even my parents told me that. They said I've stretched my potential to the limit. But even though I know this, I still feel depressed at times because I look at what other people have and I realize I'll probably never get them and is out of my reach.

It's not that I want to be different from everyone else. It's not my choice. But growing up the way I did and the circumstances and experiences I had, it's almost like it forces you to be different. I sometimes just wanna ask the heavens, "Why me? Why was I burdened with this kind of bad luck?"

Perspective. You can't control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it when it does and that perspective changes the results. If you spend your whole life going "woe is me, my life is awful," guess what? It's going to remain awful.

[derrek]

Every time I look at this thread I think "they spelled Outkast wrong"... ugh... Andre 3000 and Big Boi have done their job successfully

"When something has happened,
Do not talk about it.
it is hard to collect spilled water."

[Aziraphale]

OP, are you actually enjoying wallowing in your misery? I just had to ask because this is like the nth time I've seen posts like this from you. If you don't want to do something about your life, you're just gonna remain stuck for a long time to come.

[be_mellow]

I remember one of my teachers used to say "If things doesn't go your way, try changing your attitude."

There's a lot of things that doesn't go our way in life. Why not accept things and move on.

[terrorist]

I felt exactly the same way you thought. and it hurts me to think that i was born like this.. but i'm also thankful.

here is a quote that is very true.. and gives you hope.

"Good times become good memories. Bad times become good lessons. There's something good that comes out of every life experience. You can never lose; you can only gain from life"

you really have to look at the glass half full.

think of one of the smartest people who ever lived in history.
Einstein. he failed or got left back in high school?
his tutor had to repeat the same mathematical equation to Einstein over and over for him to understand..
Einstein used to cut school just to hide under the bushes and examine a piece of rock???

Einstein was clearly a outcast...
but he never gave up.

we can really change who we are in a very positive way if we really put forth our energy in doing so.
Don't blame God or the heavens. instead question yourself. not in a intellectual way.. but in a more practical way.
One Step At A Time, just like what tuffcore said.

[xWindwalkerx]

Hey,

If life gives you tasteless, bland, dry, overcooked piece of chicken, then, don't frown, just add some ketchup and hot sauce .

[yabasta]

I feel that a lot of who we are is shaped by our experiences. People will always say to you that it's up to you and that you have the power to change your life. It's true to some extent. But there are also things you cannot change. There's this quote from a movie and it goes, "The things that make up who we are are also the things we didn't choose."

I find that to be very true. For example, we don't get to chose our parents. We don't get to chose where we grew up. We don't get to chose a lot of things.

It's only later on in life that you are actually able to implement your own decisions. But by then, you are already an adult and shaped by many experiences. And what if a lot of your experiences are bad? What if you had a lot of bad luck growing up? Can things really change for the better?

I think by the time you are grown up and finally have the power to control your life, it may already be too late and that the only thing you can really do is do the best you can with what you have and hope for some luck.

As they say, luck favors the prepared but what if the opportunity never comes?

I can honestly say that despite the circumstances, I've done the best I could. Even my parents told me that. They said I've stretched my potential to the limit. But even though I know this, I still feel depressed at times because I look at what other people have and I realize I'll probably never get them and is out of my reach.

It's not that I want to be different from everyone else. It's not my choice. But growing up the way I did and the circumstances and experiences I had, it's almost like it forces you to be different. I sometimes just wanna ask the heavens, "Why me? Why was I burdened with this kind of bad luck?"

A lot of what you said strikes true with a lot of different people (screw the generation difference, 'old' soompiers will feel this as much as the 'emo generation'). The one thing I'm disappointed to read about was how you compared your life with other peoples, and generally put luck at fault. I think this is the wrong kind of view to have in life - I'm not a postmodernist, I won't say 'oh every view is right, and your interpretation is right as mine'. No. I have my own views and you can take it or leave it.

I've met many people who say the same thing as you. It's quite irritating for me to hear the infamous 'my life seems not as good as so-and-so's'. This is fundamentally wrong. You should rather say to yourself, 'my life seems better than so-and-so's'. A positive reflection of your life will bring much more insight, as a negative reflection would. It's okay to know that there are 'betters' to you, but it's even better to realize that you can do something for people who are not better off than you (and this includes, not giving a damn about them).

A personal friend of mine demands to know (out of the world) why they receive minimum wage after they have completed their x-years long professional degree (I'm leaving out the details on purpose). They complain that their fellow graduates receive higher income, have less work load, and have more exciting work experiences. They take the same view as you at this point, why is it that they have a better life than me? or better achievements? etc.

I tell them what I tell you. It's okay to know that you are in a worse off situation than someone else. But you don't wallow in that self-pity. You do what you can to get out of it. I told this friend, if you don't like your job, then do something about it. Go and ask for a raise, go and find another job, or give 110% at the work place to deservedly earn that raise.

Often we live lives that are so depressing and full of 'bad luck' that it is impossible to do 'something about it'. It is the same with my close friend I've just told you about. They still refuse to acknowledge that they can do something about it. When others, like myself, from an outsider's position can give a different perspective on their issues.

The problem you have, in my view, is that you don't seem to have a particular issue to tackle - you just blame a mass of problems, and label it as 'bad luck' or 'bad past'. Take a pen and paper, and list down short term, mid term and long term goals. These goals should be some of the bad luck or bad past things to deal with. But they should also include things you have not done, but want to do (effectively including the solutions to your life's problems). Make yourself strategise and solve problems.

One thing I learned in four years (and still on going) in University is dealing with a huge list of problems as they come and go. And... trust me, I am not what you call an A+ student (more of the B+ range... so far! I'm improving though!) But you learn from your mistakes and bad decisions. I once had two part time jobs AND classes to get to... that was a pretty insane decision to make, but ... I learned what NOT to do as well as what TO do. Again, this is a particular problem I tried to solve (i.e. the lack of money versus time to study) - so you should try to solve particular problems, rather than be subject to a monolithic blob of sadness and disappointment.

Get help as well. Nothing says 'easy life' than getting buddies to help you out. Again I learned this from Uni. I thought I could do things on my own, I thought I didn't need anyone to 'leech off me' and visa versa. But as the years went on I realized I couldn't finish my class work on time, or get new job opportunities, or have fun... unless I had other people there with me. I made new friends, even though I didn't like them, and eventually we all congregate to this 'group' which I could certainly call 'friends'. (Honestly, there are some people in that group I would like to see removed from my life in the most violent ways possible - but you learn to get along with the idiots of the world... and no, this isn't complacency or acquiescence).

I could rant on and on... but when people say, 'stop being an emo, and take a positive outlook to life', they're just reacting immediately to you. They see in what you say, what they have once experienced, and get fed up of being reminded of the sad times. I won't say that what you're doing is annoying, but I also understand fully where you're coming from. It does suck, and this isn't 'teenage angst and depression' ... every human being goes through this one point in their lives, whether in their 20's or their 50's. The key to getting past these bumpy days, is to look to the past, learn from them; look at the present, assess the situation; and look to the future, while implementing your plan of action. Sounds disgustingly wordy and too much of a 'feel good' message - but isn't that what you need right now?

Oh and since I haven't said it, and you seem obsessed about it... good luck with it all.