[Humilious]

i'm korean. my boyfriend is african american. and my mom's starting to catch on (she doesn't know for sure that we're dating). she and i had a talk about dating yesterday and she kept on emphasizing the fact that she would not tolerate an african american guy as my boyfriend. i demanded reasons as to why not and was very disappointed (and disgusted) because the only reason she had was her dislike of their skin color and race as a whole. i talked and debated for a good deal of time with my mom but there was just no getting through to her. i'm stuck as to what to do so i was hoping i could get some advice.

[anyaluvsmodels]

My mom is the same way. She would jokingly tell me and my brother that she will disown us if we ever date an African-American person but I think she was being serious. It's your life do what you think is right, parents can be stubborn but if they see that you are happy maybe they will come around. I think Asians parents are so tough to deal with when it come to love and career choices.

[ChingGoo]

LOL my mom tells me that too. never date a black woman. i tell my mom i have a black girlfriend just to joke with her sometimes

[KanyeWEST]

Tell your parents to take some racial tolerance classes or something.

[Yienny]

I think every Asian parent is like that LOL. Well it's typical but , meh.
IMO tell her that your dating him before she actually finds out, that way you can try to get her to accept him.
Like hey a sibling of mine is dating someone of a different colour and religion. At first my grandmother disliked him for his skin colour and his race because of racist thoughts, but after a year or so , she just dropped the whole thing and started to accept him. So basically what I mean is.. I guess it takes time .

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

In the end, it's your life, not there's. As much as they'd hate to see you with another race, it's not them who's going to be dating/loving/marrying him.

If you really want him to be a part of your life, you should coax them into it, very, very, very, very slowly. Bring him up once in a while and tell them how good of a person he is (in school, at work, with other responsibilities, etc.) and then mention that you're going out with a bunch of friends AND him. Get your parents used to him, and then ease him in from there!

[MonkeyKing]

if your mom is racist then most of the time theres really nothing you can do trust im half korean and half south american and my girlfriend is full chinese her parents HATE me because im ''mexican'' according to them which is completly ignorant im no where near mexican and they even refer to me as the mexican rat or mexican boy after a year and a half they still dont like me :/

[agnes.]

My parents are like that.
Since I was a kid they always tell me to look for a Chinese guy.
My brother had a non-Chinese girlfriend for over 3 years and they never accepted her.

I don't really mind coz yeah, I like Chinese guys. Haha

[jaeka]

if your mom is racist then most of the time theres really nothing you can do trust im half korean and half south american and my girlfriend is full chinese her parents HATE me because im ''mexican'' according to them which is completly ignorant im no where near mexican and they even refer to me as the mexican rat or mexican boy after a year and a half they still dont like me :/

I'm 1/4 South American! *hi-fives*

Gahh yeah it's your life not theirs. They're not dating a black guy now, are they? They should really just suck it up cause that's how life rolls over here and racism is getting old. Don't let it get to you.

[moot11]

Who you date is your choice, and the sooner your parents realize that the happier everyone will be.

[HaplessChild]

As long as the guy you're dating isn't a complete disgrace to men in general, she'll get over it.

Presentation is everything.

[SeeFood]

It sucks that your mom is racist but at the root of it, I think, she has your best interests at heart (ironically )

Work with this. It may take time and some effort on BOTH you and your bf's part but it will worth the effort. You should steadfastly stick by your bf's side. Your bf should be on his best behavior and courteous to your mom always no matter what she says. Even when your mom acts up, stick with your word and by your guy and soon - for you sake - once she sees that it's real - she will most likely start to defrost. Racism exists everywhere, even in our own homes, and you and your bf should take it as a chance to prove to yourselves, your parents (and the world !) that love conquers all! *cue cheesy music*

But of course, worst case scenario, she just doesn't come around then...you'll just have to decide for yourself who you want to keep with you more :\

[Mannosuke]

i talked and debated for a good deal of time with my mom but there was just no getting through to her.

You can't change how people think if that's what they've grown up with for most of their life. It's like trying to tell people to stop following the sexist norms in this day and age (guys should be footing the bills on a date, girls should act a certain way, etc)

You can choose to ignore her and HOPE she'll realize there's nothing she can do about it like what other people have tried.

A lot of people here are saying "who cares what they think" but seriously, if you're living under THEIR roof and using THEIR services and resources, then you don't really have a say in this. Their house their rules. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[AS1AND0LL]

You're the one dating him, not your parents.

[BAZINGA!]

My mom is semi racist.. she used to be more racist before. Hahha, but I just tell her "I'll do whatever I want and love whoever I want. It's my life, not yours. You're not the person loving or being loved by him. If I marry outside of _________, it's not you who will be living with them, it's me. So you don't have a say in what race I date" She came around eventually and now just tells me that it doesn't matter who I date as long as I like/love them. Although she'd probably freak out if I had an african-american boyfriend...but that would be incredibly funny to see.

[visuelz]

It's funny how a lot of you guys are talking back to your parents. Dating your culture is a lot easier and a lot stressful than dating someone outside.

[xxvictastic]

my mom is exactly like that :/
ever since i was little, she would tell me i could only date asians (i`m asian)
but it didn`t really concern me much .. since for some reason, i`m only attracted to asians.

there really is nothing you can do about it.
i think most asian parents are this way too .__.'
you could try to show the good side of your boyfriend to your mom &
tell her that you should be able to date whoever you want because it`s your life.
.. however, i don`t think i could say that to my mom D:
she would really get angry.

[bonjour tristesse.]

My mom is the very same way though my dad isn't, just partially strict on me and the dating thing. I've come to a realization that my mom would always be racist to other 'colored' people too, not just with who I decide to date. Even though I've told her millions of times its wrong, we just end up arguing so I stopped after a while.

I guess you can't really do anything to change her opinion. If she really trusted you, she would let you date this guy no matter what her opinions are on him.

[_ATELIER]

i'm not gonna say the typical "you love/like him that's all that matters" stuff, 'cause that's just a portion, frankly your parents have a big role in what you want as a spouse. i'm a family person and i believe my parents would accept whoever i like, and if they didn't, i would sure as hell make them. it's just going to take time and persuasion. talk about him a little, then maybe go as far as taking him home and introducing him, basically all they wanna know is "is he as good as he sounds?" but if your parents are stern on their decisions then i don't think there's a way you can convince them, 'cus they're pretty much stuck in their narrow point of view+traditions.

[ebolainmemphis]

It's funny how a lot of you guys are talking back to your parents. Dating your culture is a lot easier and a lot stressful than dating someone outside.

If you're part of the American culture though, things get kind of messy :U. It'd also be "your" culture vs. "your parents' culture"