[ilovemangos]

so here's the deal.

the guy and i were together for 1.5 years. we've been through a lot together. we spent almost all the days of the week together aside from going to school, work, and hanging out with friends/family. went on trips, did everything together. he's the closest person to me, and we were really comfortable around each other. i broke it off with him over this past weekend and two days later i went to his house to apologize and try to get him back. explaining to him i was pissed, and said it out of anger. it didn't seem like he cared at all, he didn't take me back. now i'm sitting here regretting my decision. its affected me to the point where i don't feel like going out with my friends, and life is just feeling colorless without him right now. it's hard to cope, i really love him and i feel like i've lost him already. it feels like there's nothing i can do to get him back at this moment. but i'd do anything. the thing is, he doesn't even want to talk to me. ignored my calls, and last time i spoke to him he said he'd get back to me in a couple of days but he never did. he probably said that just to get me to go away. i've never felt this much pain in my life, ever. which is why it's bothering me so much.

so the question is, is there any way to save the relationship that we had?

any advice, suggestions or comments would be appreciated. thank you.

[JUICYBEBE]

my advice to you would to just move on.. i`ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years as well..but things are not how they used to be. i remember when i broke up with him near the beginning of our relationship and i did the same thing..i literally BEGGED him to come back to me and he told me he didnt want to. then i decided to just move on because quite frankly i dont want to be with someone who wouldnt take me back when i went so low as to beg and cry for him back. when he found out that i was moving on he was the one who was quick to call me. it definately went down hill from there.. i thought it would work out but its not. i realized that im far too young to be crying over some guy. i have a lot going for me in life so why should i settle for less.

never EVER spend your precious time depressed over some guy.

trust me you'll move on from this

[Setsuni]

Give him space. If he wants you back, he'll come around. The more you pester him, the more annoyed he's going to be with you.

[Mannosuke]

explaining to him i was pissed, and said it out of anger

I don't like hearing this. It's really sad how someone can even think of breaking up just cause you were "pissed" and "angry". That's the lesson you should carry out of this relationship.

EDIT: lol I quoted the wrong post sry

[migrub]

I know I wouldnt want to get back with someone who would break up with me without thinking it through. He's probably better off and you need to move on.

[KeHAEa]

If he doesn't want to take you back, then you should find someone else.

But maybe he's just getting back at you? Because you broke up with him and caused him a lot of pain, although it doesn't seem that likely...

Haha, I know this sounds corny, but follow your heart! You guys shared lots of great memories together, and if he's not willing to take you back after all that just because of a silly fight, he's not worth it. xP

Best of luck~

[MNLV27]

Well first of all, it was your fault for being careless and just decided to break up with him based on your feelings at that moment. Since he doesn't want you back, you should just move on and learn from your mistakes. There's no point in wanting him back if he doesn't want to come back and it's no point in waiting either, he's made it clear that he's not into the relationship with you anymore.
You're feeling all emo right now but it's going to go away and you'll be back to normal in no time. People come and go in your life, no matter how long they were in it, if they choose to leave, don't try to hold them back and don't always live in the past, just keep moving on forward and remember you're mistakes and don't let the past repeat itself.

[ilovemangos]

Thanks guys for your replies.
it just hurts so much. i cannot imagine myself without him. i'm going crazy.

i texted him last night saying ''sorry, and talk to me when you're ready''. i talked with one of my friends about it, and he says not to pressure him, and that he's probably even more annoyed now. and that after the second time asking for him back and if he says no again, then i've got to let it go. and from a girls view, my friend said ''don't show any emotion, now he knows he's got you and it seems like he's playing a game'' she is saying this because when i broke it off, he said ''we need to talk'' but i said ''just forget it'', and later when he came to my work to give me back my stuff, i said so what did you want to say. and all he said was i hope we don't hate each other. and i said i don't hate you. by this point, it already seems like he's let it go. and the worst part is, he's not the type that'll go back on his words even if he loves someone. all my friends are saying different things. but, i'd rather hear what the deal really is from him. if it's really final, and if he really wants to let this go. but he's ignoring me, so all i can do is wait. but i don't want to put myself through this unless i know that there's a chance that he'll want me back. or maybe i already know the answer, but i just don't want to accept it. i really don't know anymore. i can't think correctly and i am incoherent i can't think straight anymore.

should i talk to his friends to see what they think?

any more advice, or suggestions?

[LotusWing]

any more advice, or suggestions?

I think you didn't read people's advice. Read again

I don't like hearing this. It's really sad how someone can even think of breaking up just cause you were "pissed" and "angry". That's the lesson you should carry out of this relationship.

I agree with Mannosuke. You broke up because you were "pissed" and "angry"? That was acting without thinking.
Just try to move on and don't do the same mistake.

[Christinaisweird]

should i talk to his friends to see what they think?

I don't think you should, I mean you're almost invading his privacy. Although it may seem like a good idea, it really won't be.

After saying "Sorry" I think you should find a way to make it up to him. And think about what are you really sorry about.

But for now keep yourself occupied. Give yourself a period of time of when you want him to contact you and if he doesn't, well, it's time to move on.
This may seem a little unhelpful ,but I remember when my bf and I broke up, I swear the only thing that made me feel better was going to ride roller coasters and yeup, they were open during mid-Jan. Cried an awful a lot and kept a journal writing of when I missed him and writing on little post its and notes of when each moment I'm by myself.
I don't know if this will work, but just keep your head high.

[charat]

oops. nothing you really can do. just forget about it.

[des monstres]

there's a possibility.
maybe he's just thinking it over.
as hard as it is, let him be for awhile.
talk to him in about a week when both of you have calmed down a bit.

=)

[Mannosuke]

and from a girls view, my friend said ''don't show any emotion, now he knows he's got you and it seems like he's playing a game'' she is saying this because when i broke it off, he said ''we need to talk'' but i said ''just forget it'', and later when he came to my work to give me back my stuff, i said so what did you want to say. and all he said was i hope we don't hate each other. and i said i don't hate you. by this point, it already seems like he's let it go. and the worst part is, he's not the type that'll go back on his words even if he loves someone. all my friends are saying different things. but, i'd rather hear what the deal really is from him.

That's right, screw what your friends say. It's your relationship, and how you wish to deal with it is up to you, not them. It's not from a "girl's" view cause there are girls here saying different things. It's just a bunch of silly mind games that you play BEFORE you get together with someone and maintaining some "girl pride" which you shouldn't think about at this point in time.

[des monstres]

should i talk to his friends to see what they think?

any more advice, or suggestions?

don't involve his friends.
this is an a-b fight.

[bellyy.loo]

give him some space. if he still loves you, he'll eventually ask you back
if he doesnt come around.. then try to move on
but theres still a possibility that the relationship could be saved.

[Gofishus]

Thanks guys for your replies.
it just hurts so much. i cannot imagine myself without him. i'm going crazy.

i texted him last night saying ''sorry, and talk to me when you're ready''. i talked with one of my friends about it, and he says not to pressure him, and that he's probably even more annoyed now. and that after the second time asking for him back and if he says no again, then i've got to let it go. and from a girls view, my friend said ''don't show any emotion, now he knows he's got you and it seems like he's playing a game'' she is saying this because when i broke it off, he said ''we need to talk'' but i said ''just forget it'', and later when he came to my work to give me back my stuff, i said so what did you want to say. and all he said was i hope we don't hate each other. and i said i don't hate you. by this point, it already seems like he's let it go. and the worst part is, he's not the type that'll go back on his words even if he loves someone. all my friends are saying different things. but, i'd rather hear what the deal really is from him. if it's really final, and if he really wants to let this go. but he's ignoring me, so all i can do is wait. but i don't want to put myself through this unless i know that there's a chance that he'll want me back. or maybe i already know the answer, but i just don't want to accept it. i really don't know anymore. i can't think correctly and i am incoherent i can't think straight anymore.

should i talk to his friends to see what they think?

any more advice, or suggestions?

...Why are you so hellbent on wanting him back? Clearly if he doesn't want you back, he never really cared for you in the first place. Is it really that important to waste your time trying to get him back when you could be doing something else? There's 6.5 billion people in this world and half are men. I think by the point I bolded that you are still in denial. I'm pretty sure it already is final. Please get over it..

[evans]

first thing you have to do, is make sure that it doesn't happen again. i mean what's the point of getting back together if it's just going to go through the same cycle again? change yourself to not be impulsive, and all. i get that 'going back on words thing', because my ex boyfriend was kind of like that. what does it show to him if you can just break up with him in a fit of anger? the words 'break up' aren't the kind that should be thrown around easily at all.

put yourself in his shoes. how would you feel? and will you really want to put yourself through that possibility of hurt again?

if you really do love him, then slowly, try to persuade him. give him a little space though, and don't hound him with texts and calls. maybe try to meet him up for a face to face talk, and sincerely apologize and show him that you've changed and that you're sorry, but you should really change and all, and not saying it for the sake of wanting him back. slowly try to sort things out. if he's not ready to get back into a relationship, then don't force him to. you guys could work as friends and start out again from there? however, if he decides not to do get back together at all, then respect his decision and move on, no matter how hard it is, cause you know at least that you've tried your best to get him back. if you guys are fated, he will come back to you, at least that's what i believe. some things require time and space and all.

hope things work out for you!

[ilovemangos]

just wanna say i really appreciate all the advice guys. yeah, i was just upset so i broke it off with him. bad reasoning, i know. he's done the same to me before too. and i was understanding about it, and quick to let him off the hook. which is probably a bad thing, cuz like evans said, don't let the cycle repeat and being two really understanding and forgiving people, we let it happen. weakness. but yeah, i definitely learned a lot from this experience so far. breaking up out of anger should not be taken lightly. i will try to be more patient in the future with my temper, to think before i take action.

update. 8/9
so he called me last night while i was out, i answered and the conversation went like this:

him: hey, i still have your bike. [which i left at his house a while ago]
me: can i call you back in 20 min?
him: why
me: i'm with my friend right now
him: i'll just talk to you next time

i was so glad he called me. but wait, next time? & my bike?

30 mins later, about 10:30pm, i call him saying i just got home. my intention was strictly business, to get my bike back and that's it. it seems like he wasn't in the mood to be on the phone, cuz he was extremely quiet. maybe something happened to him? he sounded sad. but i won't jump into it. it's not my business anymore. so i just said ''are you busy?'' and he said ''sorta'' and i said okay just call me back later. at about 1:30pm, he called which woke me up from my sleep, i didn't answer. then thoughts came running through my mind. i mean, if he ever wants to talk about it, i'll be all ears but as juicybebe said, why settle for less? i already stooped so low to the point where i cried and begged for him. yet, he still did not want to get back with me. still though, a little part of me still wants to be with him. i called him this morning and he didn't answer. i didn't want to appear anxious, so i texted him saying ''hey, your voicemail doesn't work. but if you can arrange a time with my brother for him to pick up my bike that'll be fine too. thanks''. do you think he wanted to talk to me or just for me to get my bike back?

[I_Love_Rice]

Hey, don't worry. There are many couples that break up and get back together. Feels like I was in your shoes before. Yet in a different way. Just let him relax and think things through, when he is ready he will come back to you. Remeber love knows no pride.

Also that YOU know him the best, so don't take many people's word personally. And that a person can't just stop loving you, just because of one thing. Like my boyfriend told me, "Even if I am mad at you, I can't be mad at you forever, and when I'm mad, it doesn't mean I don't love you"

[lootiefOODIE]

truthfully, I think you should stop asking advice from people on soompi at all. Do what you want to do, so later you can't go around asking "WHAT IF", when your decisions for your actions are based on the influence of strangers, not your own mind. What are your values. To keep pestering a guy who is playing games with you or is just simply over you? You seem like you're moving on, but don't let people on soompi influence you, thinking that he'll want you back or you should do this and that to manipulate anyone.