[happy_tomato]

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[vandalize]

If you fight fire with fire, you'll just burn. I think the best way is to just confront her. She probably knows what she's doing and doesn't care about how it makes people feel because it makes her feel good.
I had a friend like this before and I just told her, "Does it really make you feel that good by putting others down just to make yourself seem the better? All it's doing is making you look like a huge jerk."
and she apologized and changed the way that she acted.

[twenty4k]

Confront her as a group. This way everything is direct and misunderstandings can be avoided. Is it only you who notices her crafty behaviors? or is it your friends as well? Hopefully confronting her will make her turn for the better, if not, atleast you and your friends will know to be alert the next time she tries to introduce a distorted thought into your minds.

Give her good reasoning as to why you disagree with the way shes acting as she may just want to fake her way out of it, seeing that shes good with this kind of thing.

[Christinaisweird]

This is going to sound violent, but dude, give her a good b!--- slap to give her some sense.
But really, I think you should ask your other friend if they feel the same way and then confront her.

[greeenkiwi]

Just defend your friends for them. That's not stooping down to her level. I'm blunt so I would just tell her like it is. Like say," You don't even have proof, stop making assumptions and blaming others for your own mess." That's not going down to her level because your basically saving another girl from being disliked or whatever. And if you don't want to sound like a total B, just say it playfully and laugh a little after.

[InvestigatorCHER]

if you have such a friend then why be her friends to begin with?
i use to have a friend like that but then i just stop being her friend because i didnt want to deal with her bs.

[kansaieito]

call the pinkberry out.

every single time she pulls one of those moves you described dont hesitate and ask her "are you saying ____ did/said this or that?" she can only either admit it or deny it...thereby putting out any chance of sparking some misunderstandings. you can also use "what are you trying to say?" it does the same thing. puts her on the spot and makes her back down from the mini cooper she's trying to start.

[xdeathberry]

I HAD a "friend" like that.
You should just stop being her friend. And confront her.
Honestly, that's not even a friend. Like everyone said, put her on the spot when she says something shady. Lol
You shouldn't associate with people like that cause in the end, they'll end up just screwing you over.
-___-
Trust me. It's from experience.

[Flicksityy]

Try going to an all girl's school and you'll eventually learn how to deal with it. Hopefully this won't encourage you to act like a b,itch...

I'll show you using your examples:

"hm, I think JANE really likes the jam I brought last time. it's all gone!"

Yeah Jane probably loves jam, but not as much as you like accusing people! Your fat belly screams 'big fat liar' all over it.

"hmmmm, I think CARMEN doesn't like doing dishes. I'm ALWAYS washing the dishes."

That's because Carmen has smooth hands and you don't.

"Yeah.... I think MARTHA is going through a financial strain right now... I swear I had twenty dollars in my wallet..... this is so weird..."

WOW you're that calculating that you check your wallet every 2 minutes?! I didn't know people like that existed! Poor you, and you were so close in buying that fake LV bag too.



Point is, if she's attacking singularly, you'll do so too. Act in a smiley, happy and sarcastic manner, with harsh confronting sentences to mock them, contrasting against your facial expressions. Great weapon, really.

[Romancer.]

Confront her about it and when she says something about your friends again, reply defending them and disagree with her assumptions/comments.

I've known and know some manipulative people and they're so obvious about it that I just can't help but roll my eyes. If it gets too much and they won't stop then just cut contact with them.

[dare2move]

get out of it while you can.
run the other way.
seriously, those kinds of people are NO GOOD.
things they're doing are pretty innocent right now, just wait in the future when their target is YOU. then you'll wish you got earlier. trust me, i know a girl like this and she ruined some of my best friendships. i've only started to realize this now. cut her out while it's still do-able.

[lalaFLY_x3]

i use to have a friend like that. being yourself down to their level only makes you look low as well, and it starts to change who you are. you'll end up hating yourself for it later on in life. and you can't necessarily confront her because she isn't doing anything wrong, she's just saying what she thinks with things that she can imply. i guess, the best way to do this is to make her spill out what she's trying to imply. like, if she were to imply something, pretend you don't get it & ask her to be specific. and when she does, just say it out and straight forwardly. you can't confront someone of something when they're not doing something necessarily wrong, but you can force it out of them. because everyone has a limit to what they can handle and the slowness of people.

[ritzy!]

maybe she just likes the drama..let her do whatever..but tell the rest of your group like dont mind what she says too much ?

[bonjour tristesse.]

If you fight fire with fire, you'll just burn. I think the best way is to just confront her. She probably knows what she's doing and doesn't care about how it makes people feel because it makes her feel good.
I had a friend like this before and I just told her, "Does it really make you feel that good by putting others down just to make yourself seem the better? All it's doing is making you look like a huge jerk."
and she apologized and changed the way that she acted.

I second this ; confront her, it'll be the best way to know what her intentions are.

It could be that she likes attention. There are some girls who do certain things just for the lime light.

Its funny cause I know this girl (I was never friends with her, though at one point I thought I'd accept her as one ; I'm very picky to who I pick as my friends and her types were never my type to hang out with) and she brings people down. Whether it was appearance, feelings .. I guess people like her just can't get satisfied with what life throws at them so they feel as if they have to mess with others's.

[미쌩908]

I know a girl like this... we went to the same church, and she had this way of wrapping people around her finger, especially guys... She personally made my senior year of high school living h*** so let's just say I still avoid her whenever I see her.

Like a lot of other people said, you don't want to fight fire with fire or stoop to her level... but at the same time, DO NOT be a pushover... I think this is why she made me the outcast over everyone else...

Anyway... good luck =) I really hope things work out!

[xindi]

Wow, she sounds exactly like every antagonist in a school life shoujo manga XD

The truth will win it out. Super kudos to you for not fighting fire with fire!! It only makes a bigger fire~
When you think someone is thinking something bad about you because of her, confront that person. Tell them the flat out truth. Most of all, everyone who has had something said about them from her, confront her as a group. An insecure person like that will likely crumble under the pressure. ;/ I highly doubt she'll stop that habit but you know, don't let the situation run wild. Or, just simply turn the other cheek and cut her out of your life.

Also... she only has so long. Manipulative people like that, TRUST ME, everyone sees through them in due time. I knew someone who told me many, many lies straight to my face. Having photographic memory, being in a band, etc... he told these kinds of things to everyone. Eventually we noticed how some lies would contradict another, contradict the truth, people just gradually began to not listen to what he said. Like a small dog barking, something you let yap and don't listen to.

[Envious-Sleep]

I had the exact same problem, and the advice I got, which ended up working well for me, was just...forget about her. Trust me, confronting her is NOT going to do anything. It's only going to end up in that friend's favor, anyway. Just slowly drift away. Hang out with her a little less, don't talk to her as much. Let it build up, and eventually you guys wouldn't talk to each other period.

Yeah, maybe she's going to go mope and blame you for it, but it's not going to be as bad as right out telling her to stop being your friend, because worse 'rumors' can spread out of that than the slow-estrangement thing.