The following read will be long, be prepared… you have been warned.
[Introduction]
Approaching a stranger is difficult especially when it is someone who is attractive. I used to (and still do) have a problem approaching girls; most of the time I just end up staring at them, which obviously does no good, and be kinda creepy. It’s a combination of not knowing what to say and fear. Some of the fears that I used to have were pretty ridiculous. Every time I wanted to approach a girl, I kept picturing myself getting kicked in the nuts and her pointing her finger and laughing at me.
Some fears I had:
What if she has a bf?
What if I picked a bad day?
What if I get rejected?
What if she doesn’t find me attractive? etc..
Maybe you don’t have the same fears as I do, but the more I think about it, the more I realized I was just limiting myself. Instead of focusing on the positive things that can happen, I somehow allowed myself to believe that bad things were more likely to happen. I decided to do something about it. Most of the fears I had are gone now, and I’d like to share with some of you a few strategies.
One thing to take note is that if you’re shy or can’t approach women, you can’t expect to see a change overnight. It takes gradual steps.
[Strategies]
Warm-Up
- Talk to everyone. Just say Hi to random strangers (even guys). Forget about attractive girls for now. Just practice talking to strangers first.
- Have a small talk with someone. Approach someone and just ask for directions. Ask about a local restaurant that they’d recommend, etc..
- Practice positive thinking. Imagine all the things that can go right. Keep doing this actively. Soon you won’t have negative thoughts to bring you down. Then imagine yourself getting the girl. It should give you motivation.
- When you feel comfortable, start short conversations with attractive girls. Don’t focus on getting numbers or anything just yet. That way you don’t feel pressured or worried.
-Rehearse some common scenarios in your head so that when it actually happens, you will be prepared. If you’re always getting compliments on your cologne, then be prepared for a good response (“Thank you, it’s a new brand that just came out, Skunks… for men.” ) idk, something funny. Be original.
- Watch some good comedies and try to find some good lines to use. Make up some of your own and be prepared to use them. Wit, charm, and humor are your biggest allies!
When you are confident and ready, it’s game time!
[Here are some ideas/examples]
The Hangman Game
Have you ever sat next to a cute girl in class but don’t know how to get to know her? Usually the professor is explaining something so you can’t really talk either. So this is where you have to be a little creative. Take a pen and pencil and try to do something fun. Ideally, you want her to a play a game with you. For example, I would write, ‘hey you looked bored, want to play a game of hangman with me?’ or if she’s not bored, ‘im bored, want to keep me company by playing a game with me?’ Then we start playing hangman, but you want to know her name, so this is your opportunity to use hangman to find out her name. “What is your name?” should be the hangman phrase or something like that. Take an opportunity to tease her on paper too, like saying how she is horrible at the game (even if she isn’t). Just be creative and take it from there.
The I Can’t Find My Way Trick
Lets say you’re in college and need directions (or pretend to need directions) to location XYZ. Ask an attractive girl to help you. If possible, ask her if she can take you there (if you know the distance is short). When she’s done giving you directions, tell her that you knew the directions all along and that you just wanted to talk to her. Don’t tell her that she’s cute, hot, or anything. Let her figure that out. Tell her you want to get to know her when she has free time. Then ask her for her number.
Some Interesting Questions to ask girls
- Have you ever wanted to kiss another girl?
- What do think about girls with plastic surgeries?
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Just don’t ask about the weather or anything boring such as survey questions. Never ever. The majority of the convo should be asking them questions, in my opinion. They like to talk…
[Final word]
I’m no expert; these are merely speculations and ideas of a (handsome)19 year old college student who is trying to understand women and narrow the gap. If you have anything to add, then feel free to contribute. Thank you for taking the time to read.
An inspirational quote for men (from Two and a Half Men sitcom)
“If you’re not reaching beyond your grasp, then what’s a penis for?” – Charlie Harper to Alan, appearing to be sexually frustrated with women
especially:
