[dekchampu]

this is a pretty long story... be prepared to read XD

My boyfriend (now ex-) were together for almost 3 years and I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I simply did not feel happy anymore, there was always sadness and many unreasonable petty arguments. I love him a lot but I just don't want to be in something that I'm not happy with anymore. And in high school, we were a pretty popular couple, everybody knew US, not just me, and not just him, but US. Now that we're out of high school, we've lost connection with some of those people, but we are still a bit connected through facebook. SO...when our status changed from "in a relationship" to "single" a lot of people started freaking out asking me what's going on?? blah blah blah. nobody asked him because they know that he never talks, so everybody comes to me and asks what's up with this. I just tell them it didn't work out so I broke up with him. And I swear, every single person that asks me is like OMG what is your problem what's wrong with you? BLAH BLAH BLAH. They make me seem like I'm the bad person, but I'm doing this for myself, I want to be happy, how is wanting to be happy making me a bad person? And I also convinced myself that I shouldn't let this bother me too much, since i'm trying to focus really hard in dental school. So I'm almost over that whole thing which brings me to another point, even my BEST FRIEND said I was a bad person, she was all like I'm so shocked that after over 2 years, you can just move on and I know you love him but you're hurting him. Well, the thing is I was hurting myself by staying with him. I tried to explain to her as well why I'm over it so fast. It seems like nobody understands what I'm going through and feels bad for him, not me.

so tell me, did i make the right decision?

[a o i c h a n a o i]

I think you did the right thing. Just because your friends think otherwise, the choice is really up to you. If you weren't comfortable with the relationship, then the better thing to do is to end it rather than dragging it longer with no improvements. It doesn't make you a bad person at all. Is there a particular reason why they favor him much more?

[dekchampu]

I think you did the right thing. Just because your friends think otherwise, the choice is really up to you. If you weren't comfortable with the relationship, then the better thing to do is to end it rather than dragging it longer with no improvements. It doesn't make you a bad person at all. Is there a particular reason why they favor him much more?

I don't know why they favor him so much more, I guess it's because he's like the sweetest guy ever and he's nice to everybody, but I'm nice to everyone too so I don't know. maybe because i was the one who broke up with him... i don't know. but yeah, it seems like everybody is taking his side
but thanks, i knew there was someone out there on soompi who would understand me, I just needed to hear from at least one person that i did the right thing.

[KanyeWEST]

yeah, i'm gonna have to agree with the majority of your friends and say that you made a pretty big mistake.
stop being so selfish and only thinking about yourself.

[*reminiscing.soul.]

I say this because one of my friends is trying to get over his ex who dumped him because of ''differences'' - they'd been going out for 3 years too. I think you made a mistake... if you didn't try and talk it out with him first. If you didn't try and make things work, e.g. tell him you weren't happy with certain things or something.
However, if you feel you did the right thing, *shrugs, in the end, it's your decision and your life.

[jaeka]

^ True, looking at it from that point; if you didn't talk to him or try to make it work, then I suppose it was the wrong decision.

If you had tried to make it work or if you were just generally unhappy with the relationship that even sitting down and talking about it wouldn't help it, of course it was the right thing. I mean, would your friends/(ex-)bf prefer that you stayed together but you were very unhappy?

I think they're being the selfish ones tbh.

[7erendipitii]

Well, considering your side of the story is the only one they're going to get (unless your ex feels like sharing), then they can't help but judge and criticize with what information they have. Stick to your original decision and don't let them harass you into regretting it or feeling like the 'bad guy'. It's obviously the right choice if there's more arguments than peace in the relationship. It takes a lot of guts to tear away from anything familiar, no matter how painful or dead end it is. Kudos to you =)

[pantsripkick]

Well, there goes your 3 years.

[.:precious:.]

of course you made a good decision, never listen to people when it comes to your relationship because in this case you know best, better than anyone even better than a best friend and so you know what the facts are around your relationship and if its good for you or not. It doesnt matter that its after 3 years dont regret it im sure theres a lot you learned and good times you' ve shared. What you want when your in high school or 20 is not always what you want when your older because you mature and develope as a person understanding yourself better. You seem to be confident about your decision but slightly confused about why people are reacting the way they are and questionsing your decision, honestly dont bother with it I mean how many of those people where actually good friends of the two of you?

[littlemisssunsunshine]

if YOU think you did the right thing, then you did the right thing.
.

[Alt.Loves.Ctrl]

I think you did the right thing.
when it comes down to it .. you were in the relationship not your friends ..
so they have no idea what you were feeling.
all they know is what they hear and see.
don't worry about them .. it's just gossip to them.
they'll forget about it when the next 3 year relationship breaks up lol.

[HaplessChild]

this is a pretty long story... be prepared to read XD

My boyfriend (now ex-) were together for almost 3 years and I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I simply did not feel happy anymore, there was always sadness and many unreasonable petty arguments. I love him a lot but I just don't want to be in something that I'm not happy with anymore. And in high school, we were a pretty popular couple, everybody knew US, not just me, and not just him, but US. Now that we're out of high school, we've lost connection with some of those people, but we are still a bit connected through facebook. SO...when our status changed from "in a relationship" to "single" a lot of people started freaking out asking me what's going on?? blah blah blah. nobody asked him because they know that he never talks, so everybody comes to me and asks what's up with this. I just tell them it didn't work out so I broke up with him. And I swear, every single person that asks me is like OMG what is your problem what's wrong with you? BLAH BLAH BLAH. They make me seem like I'm the bad person, but I'm doing this for myself, I want to be happy, how is wanting to be happy making me a bad person? And I also convinced myself that I shouldn't let this bother me too much, since i'm trying to focus really hard in dental school. So I'm almost over that whole thing which brings me to another point, even my BEST FRIEND said I was a bad person, she was all like I'm so shocked that after over 2 years, you can just move on and I know you love him but you're hurting him. Well, the thing is I was hurting myself by staying with him. I tried to explain to her as well why I'm over it so fast. It seems like nobody understands what I'm going through and feels bad for him, not me.

so tell me, did i make the right decision?

There is something missing from this story.

[emryal]

I agree with some of the posts above. If you /didn't/ try to make it work out--tell him about the problems, why you aren't happy, etc then you are at fault. After three years, I think you should respect him enough to communicate with him and make an effort to keep the relationship going, especially if you love him! Love is commitment, if you put in no effort whatsoever to make it work, then you don't love him.

However, if you didn't love him in the first place, aren't happy, and aren't willing to put in the time to make the relationship work or if you did try to make things work out and still aren't happy, then you did the right thing by letting him go.

About the whole thing with your friends, they don't know what's going on in your head so they have no right to judge...but then again, if they're ALL saying you made a mistake, perhaps you did or aren't giving us the whole story.

[Mannosuke]

Some people break off 3 week relationships cause they're "unhappy"
Some people break off 3 month relationships cause they're "unhappy"
I guess some people break off 3 year and 3 decade relationships for the same reason?

They make me seem like I'm the bad person, but I'm doing this for myself, I want to be happy, how is wanting to be happy making me a bad person? ... It seems like nobody understands what I'm going through and feels bad for him, not me.

I agree, relationships are all about yourself, the other person is only there to make you happy and support you (with their credit cards) when you need it.

Your ex doesn't matter, how the guy feels is irrelevant, life is short, you can't be unhappy now can you?

[bonjour tristesse.]

It doesn't matter on how long you guys went out ; If you know the feeling is gone then it was much better to break it off than to continue something you don't want to be doing.

[Srey Mao]

She never said she never tried to work it out.. So I don't really know what to believe.

But if she said the feelings are gone, then they're gone. And there's not much anyone can really do about it.

I been there, done that. However, my relationship was much shorter, about a year and a half. And he was head over heels for me. But I just stopped feeling it, and I have tried to get the feelings back, but after 2 years, I had to break it to him, and I ended everything, with him still begging for me back. It's hard, because you want to make him happy, but what he needs to make him happy just wasn't happy so it doesn't make sense. Sometimes, you have to be selfish for once, I think so.

[Meenuh]

There is something missing from this story.

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. It feels like there's something missing..

[deadgiveaway]

People, I'm sure she tried to salvage the relationship.

It sounds like you've already given up on the relationship. Sometimes you need to let go of some things to go forward in life. Don't worry about people who are being so annoying - it's always shocking when long term relationships end. But your friends are being incredibly tacky and inconsiderate to ask you to explain yourself and blame you for the failed relationship.

[blastoise]

No one was in a relationship with him other than yourself, you don't own anybody an explanation. In the end, if you felt that you were not happy it seems that it had been a gradual thing and not over one incident, you can't help your feelings and there's nothing left to salvage. You did the right thing, just keep in mind that he still cares for you so please be kind and gentle. You don't need to 'prove' to anyone that you did the right thing.
I was also in a long term relationship 2 years and there were no problems. Since late last year I had been falling out of love with him (or maybe I realized that what it was wasn't love to begin with) and slowly but surely I became more and more unhappy. There wasn't another person, but I didn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore so I broke it off. My friends all reacted like yours and said, "I WISH I had a relationship like yours, your bf is sooo nice to you, so sweet, you guys were so good for each other, etc etc". They think that if he didn't cheat and he was still caring that should be good enough. In the end it was my life and my happiness and if I'm happier without him, am I really selfish for putting him in pain? I don't think I am and neither are you.
Know that you are happier without him, and if you can, try to stay friends with him even though he might be angry/confused/bitter. Be there when he needs you but don't become involved romantically again.

[Angxizzle]

No matter what anyone says about you, in the end it was YOU that was dating him not them. It's better you break it off then be with someone you don't wanna be with. It'd hurt you both more in the end. Your friends were just looking at it from their pov. you can't blame them. you guys were together for awhile, but seriously imo, you don't need to explain yourself to them. You guys just broke up recently so that's why everyone is flipping out but I think eventually it will blow over. Everyone will just have to get used to it. Whatever you wanna do good or bad it's your life.