[angelaness]

How do you guys feel when someone says, "I pity your life"?
I was recently told that by my boyfriend. I was shocked to heard that so I didnt really know what to say but, "I dont need yoru pity." He told me that because my lil brother is always bothering and disrepecting me. (I wrote a post about "tolerance" about this.) and he feeels pity. I dont know whether to feel pathetic or angry. Now beccause we fought (the pity thing was one of the reasons), we're not talking. I know he thinks that he done nothing wrong.
I wanna know your reactions if someone said that to you. pity pity PITY!
Help me out please.

[dreamyxxx]

personally i would feel really offended..
especially if i feel there was nothing in my life that should make someone pity me.

[AoiAi]

If someone said that to me, I would become very offended. But from the way your boyfriend explained it, I think he just meant that it must suck to be you because of your brother being so disrespectful. I think he didn't mean to offend you.

[sodaniechea]

Yea I would be offended but probably your bf just worded it wrong. He probably meant to say 'That sucks' or something

[mintcracker]

yah he probably meant sucks to have a brother like that not pity per se.


jeez I would be hella offended.

[Mannosuke]

I'd wonder if they knew the definition of "pity"
It's about the same as people calling everything a "tragedy'

[wnelek]

well i'm very quicktempered. i'd prolly punch him in the face.

but then like everyone else is saying, he probably worded it wrong.
why would anyone who cares for you say something like that?

[Frozy]

Maybe that's his casual jargon, so he'd think you're over-reacting. Some people have weird ways of saying things. But I don't blame you though because of the way he worded it. Like the others have said, he must have meant "that sucks." I don't think this would be worth a "cold shoulder" towards each other though. Someone needs to just say "sorry."

[Malice_Kaiser]

I think he probably was confused on how to use the word "pity." I don't think he meant harm, he was probably just mistaken and thus probably doesn't get why you're mad. Maybe.

[Painterlyy]

I'd feel pretty offended.
That's pretty insulting.

[KanyeWEST]

you must be a real pitiful person if someone pities your life.
never happened to me before.

[Pogichinoy]

I'd be offended, but looks like he's taking a swipe at you. Bitter perhaps?

[naoto]

I'd be super offended and wouldn't speak to her for a while. How is he better than you? He isn't. Even if he was he isn't allowed to say that so you should be mad.

[Keion]

"I pity your life" is a line I usually use when I mean it. Perhaps he did mean it, taking pity on someone isn't a bad thing. Pride is an unnecessary trait and only works at getting you hurt or killed. Perhaps you should alter your life? Don't be upset at something so menial, you will only waste your time.

Why spend time in anger and agony when you can spend it in utter pleasure and ecstasy? This is why I do not understand why people become upset over something so trivial...and this is why I pity them and so therefore, I pity you just as your boyfriend does.

I suggest you alter your lifestyle, lest you live your life in misery and ignorance.

[xindi]

He was just pitying you because of your little brother, right? He probably didn't mean it so heavily.. it was probably a slip of the mouth. I think he meant to say he was sorry you had to deal with your brother all the time... So he thinks he was being a nice guy, hence why he thinks he did nothing wrong. bad wording FTL

The way he said it, I would be really offended. My life isn't perfect but I love it. Saying "I pity your life" is collectively addressing everything you do, everyone you deal with, as pitiful. For me, it would be highly offensive if someone put down my entire life like that.

Plus, I overall loathe the idea of pity. If something worth pitying is happening to me, I like to stand up and do something about it. If it's something that can't be helped, I will bear through it. I hate the idea of pity :T

EDIT:

Why spend time in anger and agony when you can spend it in utter pleasure and ecstasy? This is why I do not understand why people become upset over something so trivial...and this is why I pity them and so therefore, I pity you just as your boyfriend does.

I suggest you alter your lifestyle, lest you live your life in misery and ignorance.

dude really? Life ain't that cut and dry... I agree pride can hurt you but you can't just trade in every moment of anger and agony for happiness. Those moments of sadness and pain are the things that make us human and help as grow as a person. It definitely doesn't make you a person stuck in misery and ignorance. Ironically, I think it's quite ignorant of you to say something like that.
Also, being upset over trivial things.. that's often brought out in people in a relationship. When you're giving your heart to someone, emotions run high, things get sensitive.

I think it's a tad inconsiderate you pity everyone for just those reasons :T just sayin' meng

edit after your response: to avoid spam/off-topic, pming you for cont'd convo

[Yuenie]

Using something like "I pity your life" has a condescending connotation... I think he most likely meant something more along the lines of "that sucks" or "I feel sorry that you have to experience that". He probably just chose his words wrong.

[angelaness]

Maybe that's his casual jargon, so he'd think you're over-reacting. Some people have weird ways of saying things. But I don't blame you though because of the way he worded it. Like the others have said, he must have meant "that sucks." I don't think this would be worth a "cold shoulder" towards each other though. Someone needs to just say "sorry."

He was just pitying you because of your little brother, right? He probably didn't mean it so heavily.. it was probably a slip of the mouth. I think he meant to say he was sorry you had to deal with your brother all the time... So he thinks he was being a nice guy, hence why he thinks he did nothing wrong. bad wording FTL

this is to everyone.
my boyfriend really stressed PITY. he did meant that my life suck AND he said it was pathetic. he knew what word he chose. he did not mix up any words. how do i know? its because of the situation we were in and what we were talking about. he kept stressing it.

[K evin]

I think your boyfriend chose his words incorrectly. If you think he did, then he doesn't seem to respect you.

[xindi]

this is to everyone.
my boyfriend really stressed PITY. he did meant that my life suck AND he said it was pathetic. he knew what word he chose. he did not mix up any words. how do i know? its because of the situation we were in and what we were talking about. he kept stressing it.

haha that's a pretty big detail you left out

I dont know whether to feel pathetic or angry.

Well if you really treasure your life and the way you're living it, I think you have ground to be offended.
If you agree with him and think you are worth pitying, then fine, you can feel pathetic.

I think at this point, since you already know what he meant and (possibly) how you feel, the real question is what are you going to do from here? Now that you've settled everything anyway.
Or maybe my advice is taking a wrong turn XD cuz it doesn't seem like you came here for love advice (since you didn't list why else you two were fighting), but more just input on the whole pity deal.

[Keion]

dude really? Life ain't that cut and dry... I agree pride can hurt you but you can't just trade in every moment of anger and agony for happiness. Those moments of sadness and pain are the things that make us human and help as grow as a person. It definitely doesn't make you a person stuck in misery and ignorance. Ironically, I think it's quite ignorant of you to say something like that.
Also, being upset over trivial things.. that's often brought out in people in a relationship. When you're giving your heart to someone, emotions run high, things get sensitive.

I think it's a tad inconsiderate you pity everyone for just those reasons :T just sayin' meng

You know that's the paradox of using the word "ignorant". It's a double-edged sword, so I can say your first actual statement is wrong and call you ignorant for it, but I'd also be ignorant for calling you that because in a way, you're correct...but mostly wrong. Just as you are ignorant for your lack of mental knowledge, which disgusts me greatly, but I accept it because you exactly like the mob of our society: Dull, physical, and most of all submissive.

Tell me exactly why can't all pain be turned into happyness? Pain doesn't make us human, animals feel pain too, all things can feel pain because pain is an illusion, child. So your failed intellectual attempt at being philosophical made me lose respect for you, though I am sure you will pretend to not care for that. Will your pain to go away and it will go away. It is easy as all things are easy, people just make things harder. It is your way of thinking that constricts our potential, so I advise you to never speak such rot in public again otherwise someone who can't think for themselves will listen to you and make our society in a far worse state. Of course, I'm an advocator of chaos, so perhaps this isn't such a bad thing anyway.

"When you're giving your heart to someone"...Please...Did you get that off of a postcard at Walmart? YOU may be giving up yourself to someone, but I advise you to not...That is how you get used and thrown away. Emotions can either give you ecstasy or pain beyond your pitiful imagination...It is just depends how you look at it.

I thank you for reading my message. Feel free to chat with me in private. Don't mind the attempted insults, if you do then you'll be doing exactly what I want you to =/. Wanna know irony? No matter how many times I tell people not to do this they always do it. It's as if they love me and not know it.