[babyboi789]

what would you do in my shoes.. if you have friends that are all cool and fun to be around with but they're doing nothing with they're lives, going no where in the future, same old thing everyday partying and working that 9-5, they are only a bad influence, while you yourself is going to college now and planning on something better. I want to drop all of them, but then i will be alone with no1 else with common interests. feel like they are bringing me down. what should i do should i ignore all of their phone calls and txts and just move on with what i am doing or tell them straight up and say hey man, ur a negative influence on what i wanna do, i can't hang out with u anymore. i am trying to get my life back in order

[Pogichinoy]

Exactly why are they a bad influence? Do they make you do things that you don't want to do or do they impact on your work life? Do they shoot you down for going to college?

[babyboi789]

Exactly why are they a bad influence? Do they make you do things that you don't want to do or do they impact on your work life? Do they shoot you down for going to college?

bad influence as a negative person, drug dealing, u know stuff like that, they these type of people are all very negative in their views of life they always want to get "f 'ed up" i feel like i am trapped in a circle of negativity that won't properly allow me to drift away as if i am leaving them behind?

[Eisblume]

let them "leave" you.

act! if they're rough - be rougher, if they're bad - be worse.

and if your friends get rid of you or vice versa, then yes, you will be alone. you'll have to learn how to deal with it.

[Millou]

Don't take initiative to contact your friends and if they invite you reject them (make up some excuses, college is a good excuse). After a while you'll drift apart eventually.

And make some new friend at college...which is very important. Once you have new friends it'll be easier to forget about your 'old friend' (I mean the ones you want to forget)...

[SeX1eStAsaBa]

Do what you need to do. They'll do what they need to do.

If I were you, I really wouldn't say anything. I would just let it drift apart and ignore them. If you are feeling all that negativity, then you really shouldn't be around them. I was also in a negative atmosphere before. I just left it all behind by never talking to them again. Made me hella happy.

[Pogichinoy]

bad influence as a negative person, drug dealing, u know stuff like that, they these type of people are all very negative in their views of life they always want to get "f 'ed up" i feel like i am trapped in a circle of negativity that won't properly allow me to drift away as if i am leaving them behind?

I agree with the others, if you want to cut things off completely you can tell them why you don't want to hang around with them anymore and point out what they're doing is wrong and you're not interested to be dragged along. If you want to keep ties with these friends, just ignore their calls to spend time with them.

[HaplessChild]

what would you do in my shoes.. if you have friends that are all cool and fun to be around with but they're doing nothing with they're lives, going no where in the future, same old thing everyday partying and working that 9-5, they are only a bad influence, while you yourself is going to college now and planning on something better. I want to drop all of them, but then i will be alone with no1 else with common interests. feel like they are bringing me down. what should i do should i ignore all of their phone calls and txts and just move on with what i am doing or tell them straight up and say hey man, ur a negative influence on what i wanna do, i can't hang out with u anymore. i am trying to get my life back in order

Why would what they're doing with their lives have anything to do with what you're doing with yours?

[taiji.]

i actually have first hand experience on this. in college, i used to hang out with friends (they weren't in college) who literally drank everyday and had no future in their lives. while i respected their decision and respected them for who they are, i had goals in my life and i didn't wanna end up like them. also, i noticed that my academic performance was severely affected by how much i hang out with them in the first two years of college. from the beginning of my college career to the end of my second year, the gpa constantly dropped every quarter. this was kind of a shock to me because i always managed to keep my gpa high in high school.

one day, i sat down and thought to myself i really needed to do something about it. so i kinda avoided people and declined party invites.. i'm not gonna lie. after not talking to many of my friends for a while, i kinda became a loner and it was tough trying to get used to being by myself.. but i know that if i never did that, i wouldn't be where i am right now being successful with my career. after my second year, my gpa constantly went up every single quarter until the end of my college career and i also kinda got used to being alone. i wish i was involved in many clubs and made a lot of friends in college, but at the same time, i know that what i did was what got me my current job.

if you are really concerned about your future, just do what will make you successful. it may be tough at first but you will have it easier in the long run.

[ilovemangos]

just tell them you have other things to focus on in life and you wanna get your life on track (so they'll understand, if you don't pick up their calls). tell them they should too. you can always keep yourself busy and make new friends in school or whatnot.

[rachilde]

I think the major lesson I learned in college was not to fear being alone. It's kind of a morbid lesson but, really, it's a lesson many people don't learn very well. I was, for a while, involved with a guy who was dealing drugs across state lines. My entire life at that point was cocaine, alcohol, cigarettes, and parties. But, one day, I had a falling out with the guy and the entire party ended. I had no one to hang out with the entire summer because that guy had connections with the entire town. I was an outcast. But, after some thinking, I decided that it wasn't a bad thing. For one thing, I got a lot of free time which I then dedicated to summer classes and reading. I read a novel a day that summer, which was wonderful. I also got the highest marks in all my classes. For another thing, I got a lot of time to come to terms with the fact that I was alone and decidedly not scared of it. Eventually, I met new people, found a new boyfriend, made amazing impressions on all my professors, got wonderful LSAT scores, and now I'm sitting in my new condo waiting for law school to start.

[babyboi789]

i actually have first hand experience on this. in college, i used to hang out with friends (they weren't in college) who literally drank everyday and had no future in their lives. while i respected their decision and respected them for who they are, i had goals in my life and i didn't wanna end up like them. also, i noticed that my academic performance was severely affected by how much i hang out with them in the first two years of college. from the beginning of my college career to the end of my second year, the gpa constantly dropped every quarter. this was kind of a shock to me because i always managed to keep my gpa high in high school.

one day, i sat down and thought to myself i really needed to do something about it. so i kinda avoided people and declined party invites.. i'm not gonna lie. after not talking to many of my friends for a while, i kinda became a loner and it was tough trying to get used to being by myself.. but i know that if i never did that, i wouldn't be where i am right now being successful with my career. after my second year, my gpa constantly went up every single quarter until the end of my college career and i also kinda got used to being alone. i wish i was involved in many clubs and made a lot of friends in college, but at the same time, i know that what i did was what got me my current job.

if you are really concerned about your future, just do what will make you successful. it may be tough at first but you will have it easier in the long run.

thanks alot for sharing ur experience.. i really thought about this, and im gonna do what i have to do

[cavil.]

Do what you need to do. They'll do what they need to do.

If I were you, I really wouldn't say anything. I would just let it drift apart and ignore them. If you are feeling all that negativity, then you really shouldn't be around them. I was also in a negative atmosphere before. I just left it all behind by never talking to them again. Made me hella happy.

Best advice so far. Do what you need to do. What the situation warrants. Leave 'em and let 'em rot or pick 'em up help 'em out. If it doesn't work, then hell, drop 'em.

[Tuffcore]

Don't burn bridges. You just never know what the future holds so instead of cutting them out of your life so drastically, just gradually stop hanging out with them. You shouldn't need advice on how to do that. Once you've weeded them out of your life, keep in touch once in awhile but just leave it at that.

[kitanablade3]

I think the major lesson I learned in college was not to fear being alone. It's kind of a morbid lesson but, really, it's a lesson many people don't learn very well.

How true, college really is that transition time from being a kid to being a grown-up who needs to get a life and focus on getting a career. You've left high school so all those "friends" you had seem to develop different interests. Then you're trying to fit into the college life.

Basically for me it was a natural progression. All my friends went to different colleges or didn't go to school and had babies, or did drugs etc...So that cut out a good chunk of people. I hung onto this one friend for a long time, because I didn't want to be alone either. Really I got tired of hanging with her because she just (and still doesn't) have a focus in her life and always talked about the same things. She's intelligent, but I felt we couldn't talk about the same types of things anymore (I mean you can only talk about guys for so long before it gets old). I don't talk to her anymore. I'd get out of hanging with her by saying I had school, work or other plans, or was just plain tired, which often wasn't a lie. Eventually though, I realized I could find new friends who are moving in the same direction and the lull period of being alone would only last for a little while.

Now that I've been done with college, I've developed new and many friendships with some great people. A couple from work, from college and even some people from my past school days. It's funny to say, but I feel much differently about these friendships than anything I had in middle or high school. A feeling that we're all trying to get ahead in life and not get stuck in one place....anyway, that's my two cents..

[brownman90561495]

you'd be a loner when you do that, but not long enough. you'll meet people with common interests as yours, in contrast in what you have said.

[msLyn]

I have some close friends who are how you explain, but just because it's like that, doesn't mean I want to or will cut them off completely from my life. They ARE my friends for a reason and they stick to me thru thick and thin. Most of the time, it's negative to you because you choose to let it really affect you...er...like, what I'm saying is, you are yourself, and they are themselves -- you shouldn't make it seem like they're constantly dragging you down to the point you change yourself entirely to match them. You have your own choices to make...if you're uncomfortable with certain things, let them know, speak your mind. If they're good to you, they'll respect your points and give the space needed -- If they don't and end up pressuring you and crap, well, you can always choose to walk out that open door.

Friends come and go.

[jsp]

If you take care of your responsibilities, you're not gonna have time for all that extra stuff anyway. You don't have to "break up" with your friends, just take care of yourself and you'll be fine.

[fredinsac]

If you're serious about your future then you won't be having time to hang out with them as much as they'd like you to. I wouldn't say cut them off completely because they're your friends and not everyone is in the same place in life. It doesn't make them bad people.

[mazdaspeedrx8]

Simple answer: Just disappear lol

If they call and invite you: Say you're studying.
If they come to pick you up: Reject and tell them you're busy.

If they won't leave you alone, the best answer that you could say is: "I'm lazy" haha trust me it works. I've used the word before and every time somebody even thought about inviting me to do anything they'll just say "Oh he'll say he's lazy".