[Solly]

Hello Soompiers!

I am desperately in need of some help or guidance. Please take the time to read my story.

I am a Catholic parishioner and I have been attending this church almost my whole life. This church is a place where I can simply relax and have a one-on-one talk with God. However, drama started around 2-3 years ago. It all started like this...

I believe around 3 or 4 years ago, we had a new priest (who is our current priest right now) arrive at our church. The problem began when the priest made some changes around our church such as using the marker board during his lectures, extending his lecture time during mass (service), and deciding to not have the nuns. People did not like the way how the priest changed things around at our church, so they started to make up rumors such as, "He kicked the nuns out because he didn't like them," or "The priest is a nutcase," etc. As time went by, rumors began to spread practically everywhere, even outside of our church. There were some parishioners who decided to take action by making their own church to create their own set of rules. So, they wrote a letter to the diocese for permission. Of course the diocese denied their request because a catholic church cannot be tweaked or be ruled by parishioners. There's a history of process on how to create a church, and they were not just going to let them create a church through their own vision. So, those who were strongly against the priest simply left our church. There were a few remaining spreading rumors and hatred. Nobody said or did anything about it because people were afraid.

Recently, about a month and a half ago, while I was in Korea, I was talking to my sister through MSN. Before I tell you what she told me, let me inform you on something that you might need to know. Our church has different sectors which were divided by neighborhoods. Every Sunday, we have different sectors preparing lunch as a volunteer. My family is in sector 4. Back to what my sister told me, she said that the "hate clan" decided to come back to our church. The past Sunday, sector 4 was assigned to make lunch, so sector 4 decided to cook hamburgers. While some of the adults from sector 4 were preparing hamburgers outside in the heat, a man who was part of the "hate clan" said, "이런 개밥같은 음식..." which means, "Dog crap like food." One of my friend's mother and my sister heard the man say that, and my friend's mother cried because she was so upset about what she heard. And as always, no one told the man to go away because of course, people were scared.

Another incident happened yesterday while I was at church. During mass (service), this man who was part of the "hate clan" slammed the door opened to go to the restroom, and then slammed the door shut to come back to his seat. Not only was he being rude, he interrupted our priest's lecture. Everyone pretty much stopped breathing along with the priest being surprised, and looked at him as if he was crazy. But of course, no one said anything because people were scared. My dad was about to get up and punch the man in the face, but I held him back because this was America meaning we will get sued and on top of that, we're not rich enough to get a lawyer.

One thing that really made me mad the most was when other parishioners made up rumors about my parents. Nobody else will know how much my parents are putting their time and effort into our church by volunteering a lot for the church and for the community. When I hear people talking bad stuff about my parents that way, I can't hold back my feelings. People do not see the way how I see my parents, and people do not know the hard work that my parents put into which is why it frustrates me to hear these bad rumors about my parents. Just because my parents like the priest and don't agree with the "hate clan's" opinions doesn't mean they're bad people. My parents are simply doing what they feel is right for the church, for the priest, and most importantly, for God. They've given up a lot of their time and energy to help the church with loads of volunteer work.

So, I have decided to take action by claiming a report to the diocese office. But, one thing that does sting my heart and keep me back is that the man who caused most of the troubles at our church (especially the slamming door incident) happened to be my friend's dad.

What should I do? How should I handle this?

Please give me guidance and suggestions. I am really in need of help... I just don't know what I should do.

Thank you so much for reading.

-Solly

[Javus]

Filing a report to the diocese seems like the logical and responsible thing to do. While it may be difficult because it's against your friend's dad, you're doing this with the church's interest in mind. If you really feel bad maybe let your friend know that you are filing a report(although that could be awkward). Best of luck to you.

[itrayya]

i dont know a lot about churches and how they work,
but yes, file a report.

so what if he is your dad's friend?
if he was a good person he wouldn't be putting people through cr*p.

if i went to church and some nut from the hate clan wanted to ruin it,
i would stop going to church, or he better stop coming,
because the plain lands can only have 1 lion!!! errrr!

dont let him ruin everyone's mood. that is sooo not fun to deal with,
but dang, that is soooo not fun to go to church with too.

GOOD LUCK.

[C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]]

Ah ... politics in church. I totally feel you. I hate drama at church.
Above all else, isn't church a place to come and worship God? Does it really matter how or where we worship him? No. Worship and worship, and God loves it all.

Anyway ... filing a claim would be logical.
I know it's your friend's dad, which would make it difficult, but it still doesn't make up for the fact that he did act rude.

I wish you best of luck. Hopefully, your church will become a place of worship once again, not a place where politics cause unnecessary drama and hurt.

[KanyeWEST]

must be a pretty crappy church if all these things are going on.
you should've just let your dad punch the guy.

[brownman90561495]

that's not a "church". go for the report and make a church out of that whatever you want to call that.

[xkrn4lyfx]

i thought church was a house of forgiveness?

just let the parents handle this, i mean if grown ups can't handle church drama, who can?

[Solly]

I really appreciate your opinions. However, I would like to have a say on some things that you guys have mentioned.

1. I don't think it's the church itself to be blamed, it's the parishioners who are still attending our church when they don't even want to be there. I just simply do not understand why they keep coming when they don't even want to be there. And also, why do I have to leave when I want to be there? I think the ones who should leave are the ones who do not want to be at our church, not the ones who do.

2. My church is a big part of my life. Most of my life has been spent there such as receiving my communion and confirmation, and all of my time and volunteer work has been spent at church and for my church. Church is literally the only place for me where I can relax and have some quiet time with me and God. If I'm being disturbed or interrupted by someone's rude behavior, especially during service, why is it that I have to forgive and suck it up when I'm not getting my peace time with God in church? Am I the one doing the wrong? And besides, situations like these have been going on for months... no... years! I'm just so freaking sick and tired of the interruptions and the bad behavior.

3. The reason why I'm taking action is because the adults are not doing anything about it. Some are actually sucking up to the "hate clan" since they are rich people, and some are even being "spies" for them. Absolutely sickening. When my friend's dad caused that incident on Sunday, my dad looked at me and said, "What a lunatic!", and some idiot told my friend's dad about what my dad said. Now, my friend's dad is calling our house leaving us voice messages and says that he wants to have a "talk" with my dad. He's basically harassing my family, and I am not just going to ignore him or forgive him.

I think you guys have given me a clearer picture on what I need to do. I really do appreciate it because honestly, I've been in a depressing mood lately about this. Not only am I disappointed with the haters at our church, they are picking on my family, and honestly, I am not going to let them get away with it. My family and God means more than anything to me right now, so I feel like I need to be more confident and smart in order to protect my family and my church. I may not be the perfect Christian since no one can be perfect, but I sure hell can try to protect what I love most... my family and my church.