[dahl gee]

understand everyone has a past relationship that left a huge impact in their lifes.. whether it was good or bad... To make things short.. I've been noticing my boyfriend would start getting upset or teary eyed when there was a song that related to him and his ex... He never knew I noticed... I could say I observe... one day out of insecurity i did ask him if he still had feelings for another girl... and of course his reply was no. Later on i mentioned the girl he was still dwelling on.. and it pissed him off greatly.. saying they were just friends... later on i find out from a friend of his which is also my friend...saying he loved her but she never returned the same feeling. Now with that stuck behind my mind.. it followed like a dark cloud...

Now we have been together for 7 months... last weekend we go on a trip to the mountains... i turn up a song from my ipod... which was called what hurts the most by rascal flatts... he listens to it for a couple mins then turns off the song and switches to rock.. he even takes out a cig. to smoke... I honestly was really upset cause i knew what was going on... I pretty much ignored him the whole day (which was immature of me i know) and was pretty much pissed... If something so small can trigger is emotions for her.. why is it that hes with me? ....

So after the trip i finally sat down with him and talked... yea people say communication is the key.. well not in this situation!.... i poured my heart out oh how i felt and why it upsetting me... but instead of trying to understand.. he kept saying i was picking at a scab... he told me and i can see in his eyes he loves me. and that he wants to only be with me.. but how can i trust myself trusting him when hes not being balanced?

He may love me.. but if he cant give 100 percent to me.. then whats the point of being with him? I told him how can i love him back when half his heart is still dwelling for his ex... he says i have his full heart but then at the same time.. he tells me he is slowly moving on little by little.. ,, i just want to leave him sometimes because im so upset and pissed.. but my heart tells me i cant... honestly if i ever get mad he tries yo cheer me up.. and he really does try hard... i know he knows better than to play with my heart.. he even proposed to me months ago.... we talked about it so many times because i would bring up this subject... i guess his answers are not satisfying.. i dont think any guy would just be straight up and say he still loves his ex. .. ugh help plz!

[kitkat_grl22]

i think your boyfriend is a sensible guy.
he would know better than to play around or even hurt you in any way.
i think just the ex is a bitter past that he just remembers and is hurt by.
but seriously... if he keeps going at it like this... it might not improve, he might dwell on her for the rest of his life.
so either trust him or dump him.

[dahl gee]

i did tell him i would let him go and when hes fully recovered id be waiting.. he tells me he can change and that hes over her...But at the same time he says im picking at his " scab which means hes not fully healed right .... ugh ive never been so confused in my life!... and its pointless talking to him about it... he even said hes getting tired of it.. that i keep mentioning it.. like a broken record.! I dont want our relationship to go down the drain.. but i just cant act like everything is ok

[myxo]

How long was he with his ex and how soon after they broke up did you guys get together?
Some guys take a really long time to get over someone, but I would hope any scars from his past relationship would have healed 7 months into a new one. I can see why it's bothering you, but I think you're picking at really trivial matters to get mad over. Mad because he's reminiscing over a song? He didn't tell his friend that he still loves her, he simply said that he once loved her.

[supa'Wanki]

I'm sorry to say, there's nothing you can do about it. I'm speaking from the guy's point of view. Doesn't matter what he says, his feelings aren't in his control. Sure he can try blocking it off and try to forget her, but it's not that easy. I don't want to discourage you or anything, I'm sorry if I did.

[dahl gee]

How long was he with his ex and how soon after they broke up did you guys get together?
Some guys take a really long time to get over someone, but I would hope any scars from his past relationship would have healed 7 months into a new one. I can see why it's bothering you, but I think you're picking at really trivial matters to get mad over. Mad because he's reminiscing over a song? He didn't tell his friend that he still loves her, he simply said that he once loved her.

they've been childhood best friends.. then turned out to be friends with benefits... He asked her out and she said she only saw him as a friend.. She might have loved him? He use to be on the chubby side.. now fit after the marines.. it bugs me they still talk... I know I cant stop their communications since they were best friends before he even considered her as an ex.

[parkundO!]

its all an act... and hes doing a pretty good job cause you're totally playing along as he planned.

[hippiehop]

Nothing you can do when it comes to his feelings...

[HaplessChild]

I don't know how long they were involved before you two started dating but really it just takes time.

My first love took me more than 6 years to get out of my system completely. Doesn't mean I didn't love the guys I was with. Just means there was still a sore spot for the ex. I wasn't with him anymore, didn't want to be with him, wouldn't break up with the others for him. It's not just about how you feel, it's about what you choose to do with those feelings. He is obviously trying to move on. Just be supportive and understanding.

It just takes time. You've been together less than a year. He's known her almost a life time. Eventually you two will build enough of a past together to push the old stuff out.

[jaeka]

Move on with him. Don't keep reminding him and nitpicking, it'll only make it worse.

[peppermintsugar]

I believe one of the best ways to move on and forget about someone else, is by finding someone else to invest those emotions on. Maybe it does still hurt your boyfriend a lot, what happened with this girl, but he's giving his all to you and trying to move on the best way that he can. It will probably be hard for both of you for a while, but you have to be understanding if you want to be with him. He's trying, you have to try, also.

Reminding him of the situation won't help, which is why he said that you were only picking at a scab, because he really does just see it as that -- the past that sucks, that you're now trying to bring up. It's clear that he's already decided to move on and entrust himself in a relationship with you. I don't think you have to worry about it.

However, if you don't think you're strong enough to be able to deal with this for however long, then you might want to tell him that.

[Every~Verse]

I've been through the same situation.
He said he loved me too, but I knew he had his ex on his mind.
Since we broke it off, he didn't hesitate to run back to her.
Right now I feel betrayed, hurt and ..angry I guess.

But yeah, just careful and keep your eyes open, sorry about the sh*tty advice.

[sixth.]

it's your decision whether you want to trust him and have the patience to just be there for him until he's completely moved on from his ex.

i was in a similar situation to yours.. (this may turn into a rant lol) my s/o insisted that he loved and adored me and couldn't imagine life without me - yet, he ranked his ex as highly as he did me. at first i thought, fair enough - it's tough getting over past relationships, and i kept dating him, also because he promised me he was moving on. but then, it frustrated me when he said he couldn't see me because he was going to be hanging out with her as 'friends'. i just didn't trust him enough (i couldn't trust her, either). once i broke up with him, he went straight back to his ex.

[Rainbow-lotus]

im in the same position except that im the "other girl" my ex always talks about me to his gf

and compares us and tells her how im much more prettier and cooler and better personality

and know what sweet and cute things to do.

But in the end... he really does love her. So my advice is... he probably does really love you.