[apparition]

I think I need help.

Long story short, my gf is upset with me because she is under the impression that I don't care about her or our relationship after a little incident we had (I feel like she's misunderstanding the situation, but that's unimportant now). I've apologized to her about the misunderstanding we had, multiple times, and I admitted that I'm, at times, insensitive. She doesn't seem to accept my apologies and feels like she needs proof that I care about her and my response to her is that I need time, since it's not an easy thing to prove, if even possible.

What is the next step after my attempt at apologizing? What can I do or say to make her more confident in me and to get us back to normal? I'm at a complete loss here...

A little background: we've been together for only 1.5 months and it's been 24 hours since she became upset. We do have relatively frequent episodes with her being upset with me (she's quite sensitive, and I don't think I'm used to being in a relationship?) and I've managed to talk to her but this time, I don't know what to do.

Please, help!

[PaPerCraNe_021]

o that's not so bad; you guys are still in the honeymoon phase. it'll take time getting use to being mad at, but the next step would be is to prove to her that you care about her maybe w/ a surprise. like a bouquet of flowers sent to her door w/ a note that said, i'm sorry that i was being insensitive, but i really do care about you and hope you forgive me. or take her out to do something that she REALLY likes and show her that you enjoy doing it with her. i hope this helped.

[LoveStrangled]

My Opinion:
Gotta say, needy girl. How is it possible to prove you care for someone in a flash of a moment.

My Advice:
1. Stall. Tell her, "I really care about you. and I want to prove this to you by staying by your side. When you're happy or sad I want to be there with you. I don't think there's any quick way to show how much you mean to me cause you're worth much more to me then materialized things. So please forgive me. I've done wrong I'll try my best to change in order to keep you by my side."
[or]
2. Sing her a song and buy her a big teddy bear
[or]
3. Write I love you in 100 languages on paper cranes and send them to her all at once.
[or]
4. I ran out of cheesy Ideas

My Conclusion:
Take it or leave it. I know that the first one is cheesy, but she sounds like a girl that would buy it. Lol. Apologies

[junsujunsu]

just dont give in to her....make her talk to you...

[apparition]

PaPerCraNe_021 -- yep, still in the honeymoon phase. i'm hoping to save the bouquet-of-flowers card for a more pressing occassion. but thanks.

LoveStrangled -- yeah, you're right. note that i think she's been feeling this for a while. also, she's a little more on the "clingy"/needy side of things while i consider myself a little more independent. i suppose thats where a lot of our conflicts come from, although im a little relieved to say they've become less frequent than before. however, #1 sounds good. thanks for your input!

junsujunsu -- that's actually another idea ive been pondering. although there are times where i can say i was at fault for making her upset at times, sometimes i think she doesn't even give me a chance. even still, i feel like i always give in regardless. this time, after apologizing and even making an excuse to see her again, she turned me down, leaving me without much. but i consider your idea to be a good one..sigh. thanks.

[Mannosuke]

She doesn't seem to accept my apologies and feels like she needs proof that I care about her and my response to her is that I need time, since it's not an easy thing to prove, if even possible.

Ask her what she wants.
If she says something silly like "if you really cared, you would know" then clearly you're in a no-win situation.

[KeHAEa]

Haha, tbh, I get upset at my bf randomly. If she's like me, she'll get over it by tmr. If it's nothing big.

If not, go over to her house and hug her! She'd like that.

[SHINeeLover19]

Hmmm.. Personally... She sounds... needy and untrusting...
Trust is something earned. It cannot be given so easily.

The first step, which you have already done, is apologize. The next step is to prove to her that you're serious through small things that say I truly do care about you then she will begin to put more trust in you. For example show interest in her interests. Pay attention to what she says and how she expresses herself. If she's having a bad day sometimes a simple hug or similar gesture will make her realize that you care about her. Little, caring displays of affection like that shows you're serious just as much as a huge bouquet of roses would. It might be an upward battle but if you truly like/love her it will be worth it in the end. And you'll have a more stable and successful relationship.

Good Luck!!

[,astrolicious]

Just say sorry one more time and hug her. Meaningfully : D
and if that doesn't work, it's not your fault.

.__. not even 2 months and she sounds kind of needy.
But if you want things to work out, don't be overly apologetic
It can only get worse if you do

GL You sound like a nice boy.
LOL

[jaeka]

Take her out for a meal, absolutely spoil her and make her feel like she's the only one for you. :) Or something like that. Turn up at her door randomly with flowers and have a little "I'm sorry" note in the flowers. Sounds really cliche but she'd love it (;

[Tuffcore]

Hahaha... Dude, put on the pants in the relationship. You have to train her to stop before she starts because this is already a frequent tantrum she's pulling on you in 1.5 months. This could get out of hand.

Don't apologize unless you truly did screw up because generally speaking, apologizing is a serious pinkberry move. This is ESPECIALLY true if she's clearly over reacting to the situation and/or having a routine "episode". This also goes for things like begging for forgiveness and trying to use logic to steer her thinking. Alpha males don't do this crap. Alpha males just walk out on the relationship because there's too many other choices out there and there's too many important things in life you need to accomplish to be bothered by her crap. Alpha males attractive females to them. They don't need to go out and beg for forgiveness and mini cooper.

Also, you don't need a solution for handling this problem this time. You need a solution to handle these problems forever.

So, stop apologizing right away. Challenge her instead of getting challenged. Say something like, "hey babe listen, I think we have something very special between us here. I can feel it. But, I also feel we need more trust in each other so we can progress our relationship to the next level. (hold her hand and look confidently into her eyes) I know just the way." Then do something sweet for her on the spot. After that, challenge her to do something sweet back for you (or for the two of you) right away.

Act ready to move on to a new relationship if she doesn't hold up her end of the deal. Take the lead and don't let her take it back with her episodes. Always always stay calm and cool. Stay in control. Don't lose your temper. Above all else, don't beg for apology and/or suck up to her and let her play her game. It doesn't work. She'll completely lose interest in you no matter how badly you apologize or how many times you've apologized in the past.

[KIMBURGER]

buy her a small present : ) or get her a dozen roses ! it should put an unexpected smile to her face : )

[Tuffcore]

buy her a small present : ) or get her a dozen roses ! it should put an unexpected smile to her face : )

NO.

Never EVER do this. If her episodes are as frequent as you've mentioned them to be, then you will go broke in no time. Don't play her games. Don't reward her for being crazy. She will learn that having episodes equates to having presents.

[junsujunsu]

then you should man up and not give in...she has to learn her place and that you are already trying your best to cope with her "craziness"...don't let her get mad at things you ain't do...

[p u l c h r i t u d e i c]

There's MORE to do after an apology? Yeah.. did you do something thaaattt serious?

[MNLV27]

I agree with Tuffcore. If you give in all the time and do something sweet just for her to accept your apology, then she's going to keep on doing this to you. She's going to expect something sweet the next time she throws her tantrums at you. At times it's good to give in but at times you need to know when to stop giving in or else in the future, she'll be the one wearing the pants in the relationship, unless you don't mind letting her lead and doing everything she requests then go right ahead and do whatever she tells you to do.

You should tell her that if she expects you to do something to show that you care then there's really no point in being with her if she can't even see the little things that you did in the past month. She's suppose to just know that you care, she shouldn't force you to show or do something for her to see.

[amyyboo]

I was having this problem with my guy too. He doesn't really tell me "i love you" or " i miss you". He's just one of those guy that likes to keep his feelings/emotions to himself. He even told me he's not the sappy/mushy/corny type. At first, i was really unsure of of his feelings, but he told me "just because i don't say it doesn't mean i don't love you". And i come to realize that he does & he cares a lot for me. I could tell by the things he does to me, like his touch, his kisses, basically jsut how he is/acts around me.

When you're with your girlfriend, try to show her how much you love her. Caress her, embrace her, kiss her forehead, etc. To me, how you touch them tells a lot. Tell her how you feel and that you're a guy, guy tends to be not as sensitive and mushy as a girl is. She needs to see this on her own too.

[xbbychi]

from my own personal experience, my ex, after he apologizes he pulls me in for a warm hug & comforts me. his method gets me everything time ^^;; .. fights usually build a stronger relationship. i don't think its necessary to get her anything.. the relationship just started, try to build on the affection part ~ if she can't accept your apology, she doesn't see where you're coming from..you did your job and thats what counts.

goodluck! :]

[blueokami]

everyone seems to have good solutions, one thing that I think works is, if all fails, hug her and don't let go, ever.

[Malice_Kaiser]

NO.

Never EVER do this. If her episodes are as frequent as you've mentioned them to be, then you will go broke in no time. Don't play her games. Don't reward her for being crazy. She will learn that having episodes equates to having presents.

Sorry, I gotta kinda agree.

If you have to break out the super romantic gifts after only a month and a half of the relationship, that's a bad sign. Instead do something romantic but without cost, say a few sweet words and like blueokami said, give her a big hug and don't let go until she accepts your apology.

Either that, or just tell her you apologized and if that's not good enough then what the hell is.