[ShawNzYy]

So I shall assume that we all know about the homeboy rule. Don't date a friend's ex right?

Long story short:
My ex gf, broke up with me recently on my birthday.
My bestfriend tells me that she told him she has feelings for him and so does he.
It barely been a month after she dropped me and they just jumped right at it.
I don't know how to handle this situation really.

I feel betrayed and hurt everytime I see them together. I can't even look at them in the eyes. I don't even know what to do or how to feel. I'm trying to get over her but it's hard when I see her at school everyday. It hurts even more that my bestfriend did this to me. It feels like I'm losing two people at once and there's nothing for me to stop it. It sucks even more that we were all close friends and we all hang out in the same group...

I already had a talk with my bestfriend about it and how I feel. Ever since that talk, we haven't talked since. I do see him around with my ex though.

Any advice, tips, opinions Soompi would like to share? Personal stories would greatly help too.

[xchoeunjix]

I'm so sorry =[

That happened to someone I know too and he was devastated. It's alright to feel betrayed and hurt but I think you should forgive the other two if they really feel remorseful about what they did.

And at least they didn't cheat on you behind your back instead.

If it helps, maybe you should talk to them about how hurt you are but after, don't bring it up again and be cool about it. Maybe they'll regret what they did to such a nice guy.

[ShawNzYy]

I dont think i can forgive them. Stuff like this I take real personal and serious. I just can't believe they put me in such a messed up situation like this...

[MangoStar]

First off, you have every right to feel betrayed, pissed, sad etc. However, it might be best to keep your distance from them for awhile. Move on with your life, meet new people, meet new girls. Living your life to the fullest is the best way to make someone regret what they did. If your friend did that to you, what kind of friend was he in the first place?

Don't get me started on your ex, I HATE it when girls do that. Its kinda sleezy and sneaky in my opinion.

[112233]

This also happened to me. My best friend started dating this guy I really like. They started to do things behind my back so I couldn't see what was going on. To make the story short. I broke contact with both of them. Because they started a relationship. So maybe you should do it too.. why be friends with people who are hurting you?

[mintcracker]

girls comes and go and frds should remain longer. When they break up, your best frd will regret it so much for doing this and want your frdship back. Then all you need to do is walk away and don't look back.

[justanothergirl]

You can't control what people do. You can however, choose who you want in your life. If i were you I would cut my best friend out of my life. What kind of friend puts a bf/gf before friendship?! This really shows how much he valued your relationship..

When they break up he'll come crawling back. That's when you can choose to either forgive and forget or continue your living your life without his backstabbing presence.

[spixder]

Move on mate, try to forgive them if u can.

Love is a crazy things sometimes, it can make logical people do stupid things.

[koreanwarrior]

What a wrong way to break up.
I'm sorry to hear that, man. * Sigh *

[ShawNzYy]

thanks for all the replies soompiers. I just got back bowling with my boys and he was there too. I didn't look at him or say anything to him at all. I started getting irritated and I had to blast up my mp3 player to calm me down. It sucks when I try to walk away and I see both of them everyday for school. sigh, any tips on that?

[SailorBoy62]

The bro code man. Bros before h#'s. I think it's important to learn how to forgive them, but it doesn't mean you have to forget and it doesn't mean you have to like it. You just have to accept that it's happened and try to move on, and that might very well mean not having them be that close to you anymore because of that history that's now there.

Something similar happened to me in high school. The girl I was dating told me that she had feelings for one of my best friends, and then while we were dating, my best friend admitted to someone else to having feelings for my girlfriend at the time. After we broke up, they eventually got together and hid it from me. And I had to learn to get over that feeling of betrayal. The fact is, if the relationship's over, it's over. And you would hope that a friend wouldn't do something like that, but if it happens, you just need to do whatever you need to do to eventually get past it.

[peppermintsugar]

Yeah, NO ONE goes by the "bros before hos" rule anymore (if it was ever anything more than a guideline), it sucks, but there isn't much you can do.

I mean, I could say that it's a sh1tty thing to do, dating an ex's best friend, but my best relationship prior to the one I'm in now -- my first love, was actually with the best friend of a guy I hate dated prior. I was younger though, and I would DEFINITELY stay away from doing it now.

Now that I'm with my boyfriend, I don't even talk to his friends enough to even try to establish any sort of "friendship" with them, just so I can make sure this never happens, and he does the same with my best friend. I think people just tend to get too comfortable and too friendly, and then feelings form where they shouldn't.

I have to stay away from one of my boyfriends friends now because he has a crush on me .__.

I understand it's annoying, and you hate it, but it's really up to you if you wanna move past it and still be friends and whatnot, or go your own separate ways. Luckily, good things can come of both decisions, so no matter what you choose, I'm sure you'll be happy and confident in whatever you chose :]

[ChingGoo]

i hope they break up very soon. its okay. at least you know now that she was a skank and he wasn't a very good friend. sorry to hear bruh =\

[bella-fiore]

Well, I actually was in the similar position as you before, except what my best friend did was way worse. My best friend and my boyfriend didn't wait until he breaks it off with me, but they actually cheated behind my back. For me, I just didn't think of my best friend as a best friend anymore. I know it's a bit harsh, but I don't regret it. It was a bit hard at first since we all hang out together in the same group. I hung out with the group as I do normally but I didn't pay attention to them. Even now, when we see each other, we only say some friendly 'hello' and 'how are you,' but we leave it at that. And I like it that way. Oh, and guess what, he ended up cheating on her with some other girl. So that's karma working for you. Don't try to ignore them. Just look those people in the eyes because you didn't do anything wrong, they did. You don't have to be the one doing the avoiding or ignoring, if anything, they should because if they have any conscience, they should feel even a bit guilty. It hurts and it's frustrating at first, but don't let them get to you, and soon you'll be okay.

Think of it this way: If he really valued your friendship, he wouldn't jump right into a relationship with your ex so soon. At least wait awhile until you're okay. He should've been more considerate toward you, and since he's not, then he's not really a best friend now is he? He prioritized a girl above his best friend. That's not what best friends do. After I dropped that girl as my best friend, I got closer to my other friends. Now I have a best friend that I truly trust and she has been my best friend for 7-8 years. So, think of it as maybe he's really not meant to be your best friend and you're meant to meet a true best friend after this whole chaos. You don't need people like that in your life. Live like they don't exist. Go out with your other friends, have fun, and soon the presence of the people who betrayed you won't even matter anymore. You have your whole future ahead of you, don't spend so much time lingering about people who aren't even worth it (:

[thesisoflove]

well, i dated a ex's friend ? but it was 2 years later ? o__o, i don't know how he really dealt with it, but he moved on..
but after we broke up, he liked my best friend.. >__> and you had no idea how pissed i was to see him try to get with her..

anyways ,

If a relationship is over, it's over. You certainly have the right to feel betrayed, pissed off and whatsoever.
I mean, I know it HURTS, the feeling of you wanting to karate chop their asses, but hey.. I'm sure you can do better than them. Everything just takes time to get over with, maybe you should meet new people, meet some girls, you never know what would happen !

[brownman90561495]

sorry to hear that.

this is very similar to what happened to my friends a few months ago (that it crossed my mind that it could have been you lol). anyway, the ex, the new guy and the girl are all my friends, and pretty much i knew what was happening every step of the way.

it's always a factor why you and your ex broke up. you can't take that away. that could have been the starting point how she was led to her new guy.

you should be hurt - that's totally understandable. you'd be hurt for months, even years. but please, don't do anything stupid. don't do anything to mess them up.

you have only two choices on what to do: 1) accept them, 2) be mad at them. i recommend #1. anger doesn't really lead you anywhere good.

remember this as this is equally important: do not mess with the people around them who appear to you that they are happy for them, AND don't let the people around you mess with them. this is just between you, your ex and your bestfriend. no other people should be affected with this.

[juicejuice]

I don't think...he will be your best friend...he already remove himself by making that move to date your ex-girlfriend.

I don't know if talking to him about it would result to anything good...I know that its always good to talk to resolve a conflict... but at this point in time, its really hard to talk to someone like that... because you got betray by the 2 people you most care about... =/

[Innocent_Asian]

awe im sorry D=
this actually happened to me too.
And i did feel betrayed. maybe even a little jealous.
But you shoud try the best you can to forget about it.
I know its really hard to NOT think about it because you all hang out in the same group and are close friends and all, but the best way to avoid the situation is to just simply ignore it.
Though i know you probably can't; it's your decision to do whatever it is YOU want to do.

[joxxy]

It sucks that they did this to you but you have to just get over it.
(Harsh but I can't find another word for it.)
You don't have to forgive them but you do have to move on.
If you see them together just look away and keep yourself busy with other things to distract yourself from thinking about them.
But be careful of the people you trust.
I understand that you feel betrayed by them so just stay away from them for a while until you're over it.
And who knows? They'll probably break up anyway if she's mean enough to break up with you on your freaking birthday of all days.

This has happened to me multiple times but I didn't care until it happened with a guy I was together with for more than a year.
He became interested in my friend and they both asked me for permission but I didn't think it would become serious until he proposed to her and she later became pregnant with his child.
I was shocked at first but then got over it - if they're happy, then good for them.
Maybe in time, you'll be able to do the same. Good luck!

[rezo]

i went through the same thing but i don't think i can give you any good advice to deal with it..
i went out with this guy and after we broke up he pretty much immediately went after one of my close friends... and obviously i couldnt really do anything about it except tell my close friend how i felt.. and that it would hurt me.. but they still ended up together and i did the only thing i could do.. i cut them off. (or tried to.. since we had a mini cooperload of mutual friends)
obviously its not that simple to just cut off a friend like that.. i know im a jealous person so it definitely burned a hole in my heart. the only thing you can really do is try your best to move on.. i cut them off completely for a while.. i was lucky cause they were 'nice' enough to stay out of my view. lol you shouldn't have to put up with that ish.. don't worry though.. time heals everything. good luck~