[dragonninja598000]

Soo I like this girl. She's a year younger than me. I'm a freshie in college and she's a senior in high school. Now I know what your thinking you're in college go find someone else. But I've liked her for about a year. We're pretty good friends. We talk a lot here and there. She has a bf. (Yes, another reason to avoid all of this) Sounds like their relationship isn't going soo well and I really like her, but she really likes him. So I'm wondering if there's a way to change her heart. I know probably 99% that nothing gonna work, but I wouldn't mind hearing ideas. =)

And if this helps I asked her to my prom, and gave her a necklace. She said no to prom because she said it would have been "awkward".

[brownman90561495]

i don't mean to flame you but please, get your hands off of her, in the romantic sense. that would mean trouble. a bf is a bf whether they are in the brink of a breakup or not.

stay friends with her though.

[BrianH_]

Quit being a homewrecker. Quit being a selfish infatuated little boy and let their relationship run its course. All relationships have its ups and downs. If it doesn't work out then that's your chance, given she's not using you as a rebound. Just be her friend and respect her. Although I suggest you not to focus entirely on this "friend" and remember to do your own thing.

[damyoungji]

From my point of view, trying to change someone's heart by manipulating his/her feeling is just plain selfish. I am sure that the girl you like knows what she wants and in the end, it is her decision. All I can say is that you should just be there for her as a friend. If the two of you are meant to be, she will notice you one day. If not, then move on =)

Just remember that a healthy relationship has its good and bad times.

[dragonninja598000]

WOW. Hella Bashing. I know. I'm not stupid. I'm just asking.

And all of that other stuff, I did before she got the bf.

Well since all of you think that I should get over her. Any ideas on how to do that? I know it's different for everyone, but it seems for me that it's hard.

[maharu.]

Same with a guy, you can't change the girl unless they personally want to.
I think it's best to leave her alone if she's alright with her current relationship.

Worst is to ruin and mess up someone's happiness. Let things happen on its own I guess.
And you can't get over a person if you're thinking how to get over them.
Just don't think too hardly.

[Mannosuke]

If her relationship sucks, this is an opportunity. You can use that to your advantage.
Be there for her and make her depend on you when she needs someone to talk to.

If they break up, you can continue pulling her in.

[peppermintsugar]

On the contrary, actual good advice would be to distance yourself from her in a romantic sense and to, as people already stated, not be a manipulative homewreacker. By being there for her and having her depend on you when her relationship isn't at it's peak is a prime example of attempting to manipulate her feelings from her boyfriend, towards you.

Tell her that you like her, you're interested in a relationship with her someday, but not now, not while she's still with another man. Tell her that you guys can continue to be friends, but to keep it extremely platonic. Remember, if she leaves her boyfriend for you, there's a very good chance that she'll be just as easily swayed from you, by some other guy that ends up doing the exact same thing you are right now.

Wait until her head is on straight and she knows what she wants. If she really wants to be with you, she'll leave her boyfriend and you won't have to do any sort of shady work to get her at all.

[dragonninja598000]

Honestly, how am i a homewrecker. I haven't done anything or made any moves on her. The only thing i've done is talk to her. If you actually know me, you know that I'm a pretty passive person when it come to this stuff. Again I'm not stupid. If she's happy with him, OBVIOUSLY i should leave that alone because that's what she wants, she wants to be happy. I'm just asking if there is a way. In all likely hood i will not use it because it would be too difficult for me to pull of anyway. If there isn't one then there isn't.

And the selfish comment, I'm sure that you've like someone that you werent' suppose to like. Just because their thoughts doesn't mean that they turn into actions. If you want to ride a bike, doesn't always mean that you will go out a ride a bike. It just means that's it's on your mind and you're thinking about doing it. And who hasn't been selfish once in their life.

Like I said in the original post, I know 99% of this wouldn't not work at all. I'm only asking to see if it has been done, and how it was done.

[nancxy]

You're not a homewrecker YET cause you're asking soompiers for ideas on how to change her heart.
Like everyone said above, just be there for her.
If they break up, then good for you because then she'll realize you've been there all along.

[brownman90561495]

Honestly, how am i a homewrecker. I haven't done anything or made any moves on her. The only thing i've done is talk to her. If you actually know me, you know that I'm a pretty passive person when it come to this stuff. Again I'm not stupid. If she's happy with him, OBVIOUSLY i should leave that alone because that's what she wants, she wants to be happy. I'm just asking if there is a way. In all likely hood i will not use it because it would be too difficult for me to pull of anyway. If there isn't one then there isn't.

And the selfish comment, I'm sure that you've like someone that you werent' suppose to like. Just because their thoughts doesn't mean that they turn into actions. If you want to ride a bike, doesn't always mean that you will go out a ride a bike. It just means that's it's on your mind and you're thinking about doing it. And who hasn't been selfish once in their life.

Like I said in the original post, I know 99% of this wouldn't not work at all. I'm only asking to see if it has been done, and how it was done.

hey take it easy in there. chill out. i trust you that you knew the meaning of posting this kind of thread in this kind of forum, so pretty you should have expected the contents of the replies here.

let's say i TOTALLY believe you that you posted this thread just for the sake of curiosity - you just want to get opinions from the soompiers but not putting the combined opinions to actuality. just try to imagine how to explain that to the rest of us being someone experiencing this right at this moment and having the power to actually do something about it (eventhough we already MADE CLEAR that you're not going to do something).

and yes, this has happened to someone i know. but putting that into your perspective, you have to rely to the boyfriend messing up in the near future.

peace out.

[Mzz L]

The ones that leave their s/o's for another always ends up doing the same to the one they left the original for. Yet the one they left em for is still surprised when the same happens to them. Ha

[peppermintsugar]

I never said you WERE one, I just explained how your actions could lead you into that path, and a good, clean, course of action to stray away from that, and still possibly be able to get what you want.

I apologize if I offended you, I did not mean that you ARE CURRENTLY a home wrecker at all.

[C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]]

Even if there are problems I think it'll be a really bad idea to "change her heart."
Right now it sounds like she's in a vulnerable position. You telling her you like her or something could end in something bad and regretful, for both you and her.

I say you just don't do anything. Just be a good friend, and stay as a friend. Don't make a move, don't confess to her. Instead you should help her current relationship and try your best to help strengthen it. It's hard, but as a friend it's the right thing to do.

However, if in the end (with you trying your best to help her with her current bf), they break up. Then as you comfort her and be there for her, you can think about taking a chance. But right now, you should back off and stay as only a friend. :]

[dragonninja598000]

Ok since everyone says pretty much the same thing, so i will assume that that is a no to my question. Now i ask which is better to just stay out of the situation and just be friends or just leave the whole situation behind and move on?

[stevexp]

From the post it sounds like you really like this girl. In a perfect world you should wait for her relationship to end to make a move but sometimes you cant control what your heat is yearning for. If anything just open up and tell her how you feel, seems like its eating you up alive. good luck

[ROCKiT]

yeah, i think you should wait for the relationship to end before you start something..
you are kind of in the same situation as my boyfriend right now. he liked me and had to wait til i was done with my bad relationship.
"it's not homewrecking when the home wasn't stable to begin with"
haha that would make you look like the good guy.
JK. haha!! i heard that from somewhere. but just wait! (:

[B L o T T - ii]

if u really like her, u wouldn't be doing this. u'd respect her decision. if she really likes the other guy, help them be together. u should be happy just seeing her happy.

If her relationship sucks, this is an opportunity. You can use that to your advantage.
Be there for her and make her depend on you when she needs someone to talk to.

If they break up, you can continue pulling her in.

ha... some nice person u are

[Mannosuke]

if u really like her, u wouldn't be doing this. u'd respect her decision. if she really likes the other guy, help them be together. u should be happy just seeing her happy.

If you REALLY like someone, would you REALLY be happy knowing that they're with someone else and not you?

Of course you may think "it's nice that she is with a decent guy" but that's it! No matter how much you try, she's NOT going to like you back.

Now what's the point then? Should you keep waiting? Or just move on? Well if you just move on everytime you like someone, when are you ever going to get what you want?

Girls tend to be rather passive when it comes to guys: they like a guy for some extended period of time, but then, say, their best friend comes around and goes "OH I LIKE HIM!" and you just let HER take him and you just be happy that he's with someone else. Like, wow.

[colloquy]

I'd continue to talk to her and be there for her, unless it hurts you too much. If you really want her, it's better to take a more proactive approach, especially if it's something you see regretting in the future.

By the way, there's no way you're going to be a "homewrecker." I doubt this senior is married and has children. Anyway, I dislike this term in general, it takes two to tango.