[lala-rainbow92]

its a really long story.

well my father is the oldest in the family but he left Vietnam to live in Australia. his the only one in his family to live in Australia. my grandmother was really sick back then so my father and mother would send LOTS of money to my aunties and uncles in Vietnam to look after her. the relatives reckons we have a lot of money but my family had to work hard it, they don't know how hard my parents work! but then my grandmother died... =(

when my parents went to Vietnam they found out one of the relatives stole the family heirloom and sold it. my parents didn't know who it was but my kind uncle was able to get some of the jeweleries back. my mother tried to find out who it was but everyone keeps denying it. (it was my aunties!!)

later on we find out that the money send to Vietnam was only partly used on my grandmother. the aunties were the one who took care of the money. my grandmother lived in the big family house and the aunties lived near her. my parents would buy those expensive herbs or whatever for my grandmother to drink. but the aunties kept it in their fridges, not in the family house where my grandmother live!! my grandmother would have to ask them for it!!! I cried when i found out. my grandmother was already really sick and they treated her so badly.

skip to when grandmother died.

the family would of been in chaos if my dad wasnt there. the aunties wants the family house! when my grandfather died, he already said that the house belongs to my dad, and an uncle who already past away...my dad didnt want the house because he feels his not the right ownership of the house. my parents and i believe the house should belong to our kind uncle because his family lives there. also because his wife looked after my grandmother! she actually took care of my grandmother instead my aunties!! my uncle family actually took care with their own money, every basics needs for my grandmother.

the aunties pretended that before my grandmother died, she said the house gets split up so that they get parts of it too...
no one believes them because seriously they already have their own houses which is my grandfather other land...

now my kind uncle have to work hard so he could pay money to them so he can keep the whole house...

+ i found out my aunties owes lots of money to my dead uncle. they should still pay it to his son who's living conditions is not that great. but they decided not to pay any money. their very greedy.

we also found out those aunties have properties and lands in different part of Vietnam. it makes them seem even greedier because they want the family house.

my parents doesn't want to have anything to do with aunties. my dad said that he does not consider those greedy people his sisters. the aunties just keeps denying.

i want to confront them but should i?? considering their older and I'm suppose to respect them. i really want to also yell and slap them across the face. how could they be so greedy and selfish? was my grandmother not their mother? i really hate them.

edit. thanks for everyone advices. i think i would leave it as it is.
as kathoz said 'karma.' i think things already started getting bad for the aunties...

[Swtess]

No you do not confront them. This is the problem of the older generations that do not have any say in. Plus you are only a nephew/niece. You have no right to go over there and give them a lecture in anyway according to traditions. That will just end up in them badmouthing not only you, but your parents as well for not being able to teach you proper manners. It won't just be your aunties saying that but other people will as well. The tradition like that sucks but there's really nothing you can do.

Just support your parents and the nice uncle. The matter is already over and done with.

[sparkerly]

No you do not confront them. This is the problem of the older generations that do not have any say in. Plus you are only a nephew/niece. You have no right to go over there and give them a lecture in anyway according to traditions. That will just end up in them badmouthing not only you, but your parents as well for not being able to teach you proper manners. It won't just be your aunties saying that but other people will as well. The tradition like that sucks but there's really nothing you can do.

Just support your parents and the nice uncle. The matter is already over and done with.

Agreed. :/
We can't really do anything yaknow? Just hope everything gets better...but also, i'm sorry for your loss.
There are many greedy people out there...

I actually have a short story..
My family was famous in Taiwan..and when my great grandfather died, all the sons literally FOUGHT for the money...actually, I won't start blabbing XD
but yes, please do feel better and support your parents~

[adiavoy]

Yeah, I don't think you need to worry about it because it's not really any of your business. My parents I think have/had this same problem (?) when my uncles back in VN didn't really take care of my grandpa... that's what I assumed they would talk about over the phone, but I never really got involved because it wasn't my situation. You should just sit back and let your parents do what they think is best.

[shl979]

yeah.. mini cooper happens. my grandmother owns a whole apartment building(like a building with 20 apartments in it. a complex?) and another apartment elsewhere (both in the heart of new york city). she had two kids, my mom and her brother. so supposedly, that uncle of mine "disappeared" during his early 20s. now i would expect my mom to inherit her belongings. but we didn't get a single cent. my grandmother's sister took over an apartment and another one of the aunt's kids is living in another apartment. (throughout our whole lives, we rented elsewhere. yes we didn't get to live in the so many apartments my grandmother owned). during the funeral, i was told she left me $3000 for college. yeah.. $3000 for college, i wonder where i can get with that. did i mention i'm already in my 3rd year of college? haven't heard from those bastards since.

[kathoz]

maybe there are things that happened that they didnt tell you?
but best to let the older generation sort it out.
if you feel uncomfortable being around them, you can always minimise ur contact with them?
also, one word... karma.

[anjerlaninja]

Not only are my aunts greedy, my grandma is greedy. We rent the bottom part of the house and my dad basically owns the house since he paid the mortgage and everything but he doesn't get the rent money. My grandma does but my grandpa doesn't even know. He thinks we've been getting the rent money all along so every time we get the rent money, we call my grandma out secretly to give her the money And my aunts wants to sell our house to split the money

Sh.t seriously though, I can't believe people can be like this

[twix0rz]

Don't confront your aunties. They will just start badmouthing your parents and saying how they didn't teach you manners blah blah blah.
If you want to do something maybe have a talk with your parents about the situation. Not sure if your parents will tell you anything, but it is best to just support your parents and your nice uncle.

[xxxxxxx]

awwwwwww.
Don't confront them because it's none of your business. I understand that it affects you and you believe their doing is wrong but its between the grown ups.
Even if you were right, you're still disrespectful and this will also affect your parents.
I commend you for want to help the situation but its best to leave it your parents and uncle. You can help by doing other things to lessen the stress.

Condolences to your grandma. I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with aunts like that. It makes me sad to see daughters treat their mother like that.

[t3nsai]

OMG. i am in a very similar situation. My dad also moved to australia from vietnam. and he works really hard for his sisters n brothers in vietnam. and my aunts over there are also greedy , i keep tellin my dad n mum that they dont need money, but my dad.. is too nice to stop sendin money >_<.

[thesisoflove]

Eh, know how you feel, well kinda.

My mom's side of the family was filthy rich back then, they owned this huge factory in China that made.. uh.. those wooden.. rug... idk things, and my great-grand-father was in charge of all of it, blah blah.

But then, one day he was shot by a japanese soldier cuz of the invasion of the japanese in china..
and.. you know what the workers did ? they took all the money and ran,
my great-grand-mother ran away, leaving my Grandpa with his brother alone .. and all the workers/family members were trying to steal all the money etc etc
>_________>

ANYWAYS.

Enough of that.. you're only a niece/nephew to them, I don't think you should confront them about it. Just leave everything to your parents & uncles & aunties . Besides, I believe in Karma. whatever they did, they will be punished for it :/

[STAR_x.]

you don't really have any right to confront them. it's that generation's problem. even if you DO say anything, what makes you think that anything you say is gonna make a difference? if they were heartless enough to not care for their own mother, if even your dad and your kind uncle can't do anything, what makes you think some child (from their perspective) is gonna change anything? :/ also, you'd just come off as extremely disrespectful and give your parents a bad name. outsiders who don't know the situation will just assume that you're bratty cause you were raised in australia. you can risk your reputation, but trust me, you're going to regret it cause your parents are gonna get a lot of crap from that.

[Hitoro]

These things are not your bussiness! stay out of it. your father will deal with them not you. it would be extremly rude to even yell at your auties!!! if you don't like them don't talk to them but you still must respect them. trust me,ownership of land dose not exist in vietnam. the government is in charge of that.

[juicejuice]

No you do not confront them. This is the problem of the older generations that do not have any say in. Plus you are only a nephew/niece. You have no right to go over there and give them a lecture in anyway according to traditions. That will just end up in them badmouthing not only you, but your parents as well for not being able to teach you proper manners. It won't just be your aunties saying that but other people will as well. The tradition like that sucks but there's really nothing you can do.

Just support your parents and the nice uncle. The matter is already over and done with.

As suggested in quote above. The older generation are extremely stubborn, its their way or the high way, they are always right and they will always be right, I can do no wrong. Thats their attitude. I know you want to say something, They are selfish, thinking about themselves before others. This is like a form of respect, which I think is plain bull. I hope your great grandma passed smoothly, because she doesn't deserve to be treated this way at all with your aunts. Unless you are never ever going back to Vietnam then you could say it, but I am not sure if that would ruin your parents' reputation. Since 'reputation' in Asian culture is extremely important, again its plain bull. And most of the time I don't agree with it... Its best to keep your mouth shut and tell the next generation that story and what you learn and hopefully that would be better off. Good luck!

[msupky]

Relatives aren't always the nicest people in the world :\ I know mine aren't.

But anyway. There's really not much you can do about it. Like people have said before, it's the older generation's problem. Unless it involves your cousins.. which can then become pretty messy. I've told off my aunts and uncles before because they were being immature.. but they WILL view you in a different light later. You can either stick to your "young, innocent" image, or go with the "mature, but involved" image. Once you become involved, it'll be hard to go back. But yea... try to not get yourself involved. I only got involved because my parents were gone on a trip.. and my grandparents (+my aunt and uncle) had to take care of my sister and I.. and they were all teaming up on us because our parents weren't here to defend us. It's pretty sickening how family members can treat each other like this.

Save yourself some time and just ignore them.

[dorkafied!]

I'm somewhat in the same situation as you but not; Being
the kind of person I am, I'd confront my aunties because it's
just not right to be taking money from our hard-working parents
while they do nothing. But I know it's best that I keep my
mouth shut, I know where I stand in the family. Also for the fact
I don't want them to bad-mouth my mom I wouldn't take it and
would probably be more pissy. Anyway about you!

I think if you were to confront them it'd make the situation more
messy, and as sad as it seems I don't think you'll have any
authority since you are the niece/nephew. The older generation
will "always"think they're right, or blah blah blah. Just hope for the
best!

[marasshi]

I wouldn't say that my (mom's) immediate family are greedy but they're not exactly generous either. IDK. My aunt made her parents move out of the house her parents were living in so she could rent it out. Now my grandparents are living in our house (we don't live there though -- we live in another city). I mean, WTF? She said she bought the house for her parents to live in but now she makes them leave? My grandma is even weirder. She's almost happy that her own daughter got them out of their house to rent it out to some foreigner.

I try not to care about it. My dad just tells me never to ask for help from our relatives. It's just messy.

[MangoStar]

As suggested in quote above. The older generation are extremely stubborn, its their way or the high way, they are always right and they will always be right, I can do no wrong. Thats their attitude. I know you want to say something, They are selfish, thinking about themselves before others. This is like a form of respect, which I think is plain bull. I hope your great grandma passed smoothly, because she doesn't deserve to be treated this way at all with your aunts. Unless you are never ever going back to Vietnam then you could say it, but I am not sure if that would ruin your parents' reputation. Since 'reputation' in Asian culture is extremely important, again its plain bull. And most of the time I don't agree with it... Its best to keep your mouth shut and tell the next generation that story and what you learn and hopefully that would be better off. Good luck!

This is with nearly every culture in the world. My relatives are like that too. I feel your pain on not being able to stand
up for whats right based on tradition.