[thatbiggbadwolfy]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to ask fellow soompers who are in long distance relationships (preferably different continents) on how they keep the love going, and what things you guys and gals do everyday to keep in touch and stay strong until you can finally be with each other? I'm currently in the US with the love of my life in Japan, and everyday we daydream about when we could be together like a normal couple. If you have any tips, fun things to do, or something simple and cute, please help me out!

Thanks guys!

[Hard candy]

i had the same situation as you for 5 months. it had to end it because it was too hard for both of us that we can't be with each other.We talked on the phone every night, or if we can't call we would msn for the nights. There were nights that we didn't sleep at all or until we pass out on our laptops. On the phone he would sing me songs that he likes or i might like or play 20 questions, just talk about our situations that bothers us, our family, or just things that you did for the day. On the msn, we play games, draw pictures, record our voices saying cute messages. exchange musics, showed each other baby pictures, webcam. It all sounds so childish now lol. we are only 17, 18.. srry i don't know if that helped but yea.

[KanyeWEST]

the relationship will most definitely not last. i've never been in an international long distance but i know some people who have and it usually ends after a few months. i dont want to sound pessimistic but the chances of you guys being together are very low.
goodluck though

[lovehunter12]

I'm currently on a long distance with my boyfriend who is in Korea and we won't be seeing each other for 7months..
I agree with the fact that the relationship won't feel the same anymore... But 2months has passed for us, and its still quite alright..
The thing is that he is currently working there, and I'm studying. We don't talk to each other everyday, but we talk to each other bout a week twice or three times. We tell each other our everyday lives, how we wish we was together, etc.
I must say its really difficult for us.. TT TT

You have to stay strong^^ everyone will eventually go through this ~ FIGHTING^^

[* veenee]

weve been apart for 1 month due to vacation.. we webcam everyday hes back now.. so everythings alright

hmm for long distance, as long as you keep up the commmunication and find time to visit im sure its fine!

[mintcracker]

I hope to heck it works out. I am in this situation right now. I am also really cynical in general and don't usually do things like this, but i can't seem to quit them.... We talk like 6+ hrs every day on msn, and are calling each other. He's gonna come visit me in Feb. I hope it works out cos this kind of connection, comes only a few times in a life time.

I believe that communication, trust, willingness to compromise and just hope really helps. It's gonna be hella hard, and at times i'm sure it'll feel easier for you to just give up, but just hold on the belief that it's gonna work out bc they are worth it. That's what I believe..

[Tiffa_xx]

I'm going to be in this situation really soon. My bf will be going to Korea for work for a while and I'm still in college. We're willing to try out a long-distance relationship. But truth be told, I'm terrified. We've spent nearly every day together since April and he's going to have to move back down to San Diego for a month or two and then he'll be gone to Korea. I'm sad but I'm trying to stay positive and have hope in us.

A part of me just wants to give up and tell myself that it's not worth the pain and anxiety of missing someone you'll be away from for an indefinite amount of time. We're entering such different stages of our lives that it seems as if all these circumstances make it difficult for us to be together. But another part of me tells me that finding someone you love and loves you back, that type of connection is rare to come across, and if you have it, you should hold on to it as tightly as possible and not let the physical absence get in the way of the emotional love you have for each other.

Be strong and stay positive. If you keep on telling yourself that the wait will be worth the day you can be together again, it'll act as your strength and guide. Even though there will be lonely days and nights, just think about the first time you will see each other and how it will feel to hold them again after a long awaited absence. And if it doesn't work out, if the absence causes too much anxiety and pain, then maybe the timing isn't right. But it doesn't mean that you can't be together again one day when the time is right. As long as the love is still there, then the pain is only temporary.

[teaispink]

I've been in a long distance for the past 7-8 months, still strong and we're both happy. I have to admit one thing tho, its very hard and sometimes I cry myself to sleep cause i just really really miss him (he doesn't know) lol. The best way to keep the relationship going is to trust each other and stay as strong as you can. We would talk to each other everyday about almost everything and msg each other randomly in the day time when we're both at school. He would tell me everyday that he loves and misses me and id do the same thing. Guess that is how we keep this going....
I complain sometimes about the long distance and he would listen and tell me that it's only for now and we'll be together at the end. Honestly, those words does help a lot but smts u just can't stop asking yourself will that be true?

Anyway, the longest time we've ever been apart is only 2 months. I'll be cing him in a month so that is good.
Advice... just do ur best and love each other as much as you can. You can't show each other when you're in a LDR but you can always tell them how you feel. Most importantly be as understanding as you can and don't argue over lil things cause when ur in a ldr it's hard to make up for one another.

[celinewalksin10]

I wanted to share this even if I'm not with that person anymore.
It could have really worked cause in my case, I was in a 2-year relationship.
My ex was in Paris then the States and I was in Asia.
He courted me for 10 months, and I answered him when his mom
decided to send him to Paris, so there.
I didn't have any problems at all except that of course, phone bills are crazy.
I enjoyed going out and I rejected guys cause I know someone's been waiting for me.
We broke up cause of his mother. She was belittling my family, and I can't let anyone do that.
His dad wanted us to be together, but I said his ex-wife's too much.
The guy sent me a long message saying he's sorry he can't even say anything to his mom, and
he really wants us to work but he can't fight his mom. lol
In all aspects? Trust, communication and the love? We were a really great couple.
But being still a mama's boy, I had to change my mind.

[Lie]

the relationship will most definitely not last. i've never been in an international long distance but i know some people who have and it usually ends after a few months. i dont want to sound pessimistic but the chances of you guys being together are very low.
goodluck though

I would agree that the odds are slim. I've known several people for whom it's worked though (and who are now married), so I wouldn't count it out completely.

To me it's mostly about commitment. One person I know lived in the U.S. and his future wife lived in Switzerland, and they weren't able to meet in person for the first 5 years of their relationship, but they cared about each other enough to make it work despite the tremendous distance. Of course there are drawbacks to this sort of thing, but I dunno, I feel like if you want to be with someone enough, then there's nothing really stopping you. It always helps if you believe in life-long love. In which case, 5 years apart from someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with is small beans in comparison.

[hannieoon]

Hmm... I concur with everyone. It won't last.

BUT.. if you want to keep talking, I would suggest talking through video chat or something. That seems to keep it going. But then again... it gets old kinda fast. Good luck!

[LotusWing]

Long Distance Relationships works to some people too. You can't say it won't last long if you haven't done research of couples with long distance relationships.
Anyway...
I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment. He live in America and I live in Europe. We've been dating 1 year now and everything is going very well. My boyfriend and I communicate everyday, on MSN, Skype and sometime phone calls or sms. We've been visiting each other too, and he's going to visit me again in 2 weeks (sadly he's only going to stay 1 week here with me).
We are both 25 and serious with our relationship. We do get sad and alone sometime but there's nothing you can do. It can make you weak and also strong. The longest time we've ever been apart is 5 months, and it was painful but we managed it.

The advice I can give to you is communication, trust and believe in your relationship. Love each other as much as you can. Don't "hope" your relationship will work. You HAVE to work for your relationship! Don't give up even if it's hard when you two are so far away. Try to plan to visit each other. Write emails, send presents with letters, send sms once in a while, and if you two got facebook then you can send him a video message when he's not online. He can check it when he get on facebook.
If both of you are young and can't afford visiting each other then it will be more difficult but try to earn or save money to buy flight ticket. Visiting each other will be worth a lot for your relationship! I wish you good luck! Don't give up and believe in yourself and your s/o!

[Juli~<3]

i was in one a while back and i was too young and not willing to fully commit.
for it to work, you have to be mentally mature, trust is an important issue and flexibility too.
if you''re both willing to work for it then it has every chance of working.

my sister was in a long distance relationship, her in the uk, him in the usa.
and now? they're married.

[CinnaKissU]

D= I know how you feel.
=D and on a happy note, we keep in contact through Msn (webcam & mic). The only really fun things we'd do were sing to each other (online karaoke xD) and play games. Any kind of games.
Ummmm but I guess you two could maybe dance with each other on webcam? D= Sorry if it seems silly, but it's the only thing I can think of right off the top of my head.

[usagi]

My bf is from Europe and I'm from the US. We have been together 4 years, almost 5 this winter. Anyways we use the program skype to talk to each other its kinda like msn but the voicing has a bit better quality, but it can take up more bandwidth. We also webcam thru it as well. And sometimes we like to watch movies together thru streaming sites lol. We count the time to make sure we are on the same second. Even though hes not next to me watching, I have him across the world watching with me and thats enough to make my day. He always makes silly comments on things. This might sound weird and odd to some ppl but me and my bf somtimes sleep with our headsets on lol. Well he keeps his comp on with skype so when I come home from work I can bug him lol. I usually stay up until he goes to work so I can wake him if he can't wake up from alarm. then say goodbye to him before he heads off to work. But if I can't stay up that long, I just fall alseep and he usually shuts my comp down with remote desktop lol. Of course he says bye to me and sweet dreams before he does so. I usually dont recall it when it happens or sometimes I sleep so heavy i dont say anything to him lol.

Anyways as many before me said communication, trust, and patience are very important keys to a long distance relationship.

[DangerousAngel]

Don't listen to everyone telling you that I won't work at all!

I've been in a long distance relationship for 5 years but it ended due to reasons I wouldn't like to put here on soompi but it wasn't our choice. We loved each other very very much!

The way to keep it going is to keep in touch often, maybe not every day but very other day and try to do sweet things. Write a real letter, leave a voice mail of you saying goodmorning etc etc etc.
The biggest issue is probably trust and lack of intimacy.
But as long as you feel secure in the relationship (to make that happen you can always talk about what u did during the day instead of going "did you meet any girls today?!" because that would just backfire)
it will work out if you make it work out ;D

Love is strong and ppl who say it'll never last just don't have the willpower to stay faithful

Good luck!!