[kookookrnboi]

This is a bit long so if you are not up to it, then you probably should leave.

I am in college in america and one day there was this girl came to my university for the Phd program. I am an undergraduate but im older than her. Shes really smart. I have a hard time trusting other people but this one girl, I became friends with her instantly. We became best friends and trust each other on anything, This is huge cause normally it takes me months to trust someone fully. It took her less than a week. We hung out a couple of times, talked alot on the phone, chatted and finally i asked her out. I was rejected because I found out she is going to europe to complete her PhD instead. It was very sudden

We were awkward for like a week but reverted back to our old selves. Still best friends. She suddenly became part of a relationship with another dude. I had no problem with that. I know that she was hurt by past relationships because she got cheated on and as her friend, I was glad that she finally found someone to heal her scars. She eventually moved back to Korea, shes a korean citizen, to get her visa and stay there until her trip to europe. I talked to her recently and she told me her relationship with her "bf" was really rocky. Like a one sided relationship, etc, like it seems like its not going anywhere. Also since she is going to europe, it would have to be a long distance relationship. I told her that she needs to find the one guy that can treat her with respect and the love that she deserves. She told me that she knows but at the same time, finding that person is hard. I wanted to yell that person can be me...but of course I didnt say that...

During this long conversation we had, I realized that after 3 months after I asked her out, I still liked her very much. I am conflicted on what to do now. Part of me wants to ask her out again cause even I know that a long distance relationship that far away is hard, but this time Im willing to take that risk. Another part of me knows that Im being pretty selfish, cause she said that long-distance relationships are hard to do and the least thing I would want to do is to give her more stuff to worry about. European PhD is no joke, much harder than in U.S. and she told me her 1st year will be hectic.

I will visit her in Europe in 2011 for a random week or two but thats way in the future and totally irrelevant.

Should I give up, wait, or just go for it again?

We both agreed that if we are meant to be then we are meant to be, but if not then we are not.

[i13elieve]

well this seems like more of a if both of you could handle the long distance.
your open but right now maybe give her time to fufill her dreams.
maybe after it would be better.
just wait it out for now.

[des monstres]

okay wait. sorry.
but that girl's logic doesn't make sense.
she rejected you because she was going to europe.
but now she's saying she's gonna be in a long distance relationship with this other dude.


i feel like you should just remain friends.
i mean, her life is going to be pretty hectic.
plus, how will you guys communicate? snail mail? expensive international calls?
idk, if anything. wait till she comes back.
and see how you guys feel about each other then.

[pervert]

i'm sorry but it seems one-sided. she made an excuse that she couldn't be in a relationship with you because she'd be leaving for europe soon yet she goes and dates someone else after having rejected you. she said that finding the one guy that would treat her with the respect and love that she deserves would be hard even though she knows you're the one who could be that guy for her.

besides, she's still with her boyfriend, right? i think you should save yourself another awkward period and just be her friend.

[donporkuloin]

Plain and simple she's playing you. She's making up excuses. She's just not that into you! I agree with iluffu 100 percent. Be her friend until the feelings pass. Either way go out and meet other people.

[nHi-O]

well i don't think it's that complicated......give up because u deserve to be happy.

I don't think it will work cause U guys never dated before and so the feeling your having is just one-sided and you guys don't really have anything to hang on to.

U seem like a decent guy so go out and spread your love to someone else.

good luck buddy