[xHYUNBIN.]

WARNING: HEAVY POSTTTTTTT

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You know how some people go on and on about finding the guy that will make you the center of his world? That once you find him, never to let him go? So I found him, and he makes me feel like I'm his everything. He tells me everyday that I make his day, that when he wakes up in the morning he can't believe I'm still there. He wants a future, he wants an US for the rest of his life.

And forreal, that used to delight me. It's like every girl's dream to be THE lady.

But overtime, I felt like his adoration was gettin old. I didn't want to be put on a pedestal; I wanted my boyfriend to keep me grounded while the world spun around me. This kind of love that I found holding me wasn't what I was REALLY looking for, but I was content to just savor that comfort.

Once you feel that bite of discontent though, the initial haze seems to evaporate and you're finding flaws. Can I deal with his jealousy, his insensitivity over certain topics, his anger? I'll straight up be the first one to declare that I'm an angry girl but I try not to let that -ish peak.

And then a few months later, I saw my best friend after months of separation. We live in different cities, and we both can't afford to dial each other for lengthy chats. So we're content enough to grab some time through chats and we always shoot each other texts. I didn't think that the age-old warning would apply to us. You know the one, of how best friends of opposite sexes will never REMAIN besties because one will inevitably fall for the other.

I laughed that -ish off and I was content to stroll through the streets with my new love.

Sorry, totally digressing. So I saw my best friend and we were both like, "Dang you grew up." But I didn't let him know that, because once you address that physical attraction, it's pretty much over. We hung out, we chilled, we bonded over music and memories again. And he left again. But now, I found that when he would message me, text me, my eyes would pop a bit, a smile curls at the corner, and my heart jumps just a bit.

But I didn't want to think on it. I'm going strong with my new boy, and besides, this will pass, right?

...Nahhhhh.

We finally talked about it one night and both of us felt a strong attraction for the other. We tried to deny it for the longest time but when he came up to visit and my boyfriend wasn't in town, we ended up sleeping together. We both felt terrible about it because I had essentially cheated on my boyfriend, but we were like... "It's okay. We just got it out of the way and now we can move on."

Naive, huh.

Naturally, it got worse (or better). Sometimes we wouldn't talk for a while, and we both tried to move on from that attraction. I tried to focus more on fixing things with my boyfriend, and didn't tell him what happened with my best friend.
It got serious fast between my boy and I; I met his parents, he met mine. We traveled overseas together and were practically living together.

The boy was what I was looking for in a guy: able to hold his own in intellectual discussions, dedicated, determined, sincere, kind, able to make me laugh.. overall, a true king.

Now fast forward to last month.

My best friend comes up, and we're both thinking to ourselves, "Gotta do right and play by the rules. DON'T eff it up!" And we're trying so SO hard but temptation and affection and memory all just twist themselves up into this longing and we're reliving that wrong.

And then he tells me he's in love with me. I feel like crying and I don't know why, but I tell him I love him too. We're undecided, what should we do? For the time being, there's nothing we CAN do. Because I still think I want to stay by my boy and we can't keep doing this. So we left the situation undecided and I left for a long vacation with my boyfriend.

..Everyday while I was gone, I'd try to go online and grab a few minutes of convo with my best friend.
And every day, I would think to myself, "Bestie wouldn't act this way, I wish Bestie were here with me, Bestie would appreciate this more with me."

It was KILLING me. So I decided once we got back that I was going to break it off.

And I'm still trying to. Because I haven't really been faithful, right? But I never let my boy know what happened between my bestie and I, so the boy doesn't understand how I could "just stop loving him just like that." I DON'T DARE tell him what went down because he will probably try to go after my bestie.

Up until yesterday, I was torn on whether or not I was breaking up with boy for the right reasons. If I was cheating, doesn't that mean that something in the relationship wasn't working out for me? That SOMETHING was missing?

Then something else inside me goes, "You haven't been trying ENOUGH. You haven't been fair to him because you were cheating on him, giving what was HIS to someone else. Don't do it; give it another shot. An EARNEST and SINCERE shot."

So I dunno what to do at this point. Should I leave my boy? Or should I stay and do my best by him?

I know it was a LOOOOONG story. You probably thought you stumbled into the fanfiction section lol. But help me out. I'm torn and confused and I don't really know what's the right course to take.

Thanks guys

[bona fide*]

Well, all of your actions up until this point have been pretty selfish and inconsiderate - at least have the decency to tell your boyfriend the truth about the cheating. After that, I don't think you'll have to worry about whether or not you should continue the relationship with him because, honestly, I don't think he'll be willing to continue it with you.

I'm sorry if I sound too harsh but what you did was seriously messed up. If you had some doubts about the relationship you should have at least discussed it with him first (or broken up with him earlier) instead of going off and doing what you did.

[joxxy]

You should break up with your boyfriend.
No one deserves to be cheated on. If you were unhappy then you should have broken up with him before cheating on him, which obviously worsened things.
One of my close friends cheated on her boyfriend multiple times with the same guy and I had no sympathy for her.
Before, when she messed up I would still defend her but that I just couldn't condone.

Break up with your boyfriend and tell him the truth.
It's better for him to hear it from you than from someone else.
And if you keep if from him, you'll probably feel extremely guilty and carry around a burden.

But hey, everything happens for a reason.
Good luck!

[Swtess]

^ agreed. You cheated and now you're with him totally on guilt and just not wanting to let go.Just break it off with him so he can move on and find a gf that doesn't cheat

[damyoungji]

Breaking up with your boyfriend will be the right choice for you. By staying with him, you are not going to be happy and it will eventually lead to problems in the relationship. It is time to stop leading your boyfriend on. The pain and shock he is going to go through from a break-up is going to be much less painful than what you are doing to him now. Guilt is going to build up and you are going to feel even worse about not being able to keep everyone happy. Sometimes it is earlier to put an end to things earlier than later.

[oreos]

I feel like, from your story, you're not even sure if you were really in love with your boyfriend or not. Reveling in someone's adoration and attention is not the same thing as being in love with them.

I agree with what everyone else said. You're making it unnecessarily complicated. Your feelings for your boyfriend have obviously grown out and you want to be with someone else, except you're being a coward and childish ( no offense ) and avoiding being honest with both of them. I know it must be great to have two guys after you, but seriously, do the right thing before you end up alone.

[HelloGorgeous]

Well, all of your actions up until this point have been pretty selfish and inconsiderate - at least have the decency to tell your boyfriend the truth about the cheating. After that, I don't think you'll have to worry about whether or not you should continue the relationship with him because, honestly, I don't think he'll be willing to continue it with you.

I'm sorry if I sound too harsh but what you did was seriously messed up. If you had some doubts about the relationship you should have at least discussed it with him first (or broken up with him earlier) instead of going off and doing what you did.

agreed.

your actions are completely selfish. you have this great guy whose treating you amazingly well and instead of being honest with him and your self you just cheated on him.
Its best to just break it up wit him instead of leading him on and then causing a bigger breakup later on.

[StephyT]

Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Even if you feel bad about it, your boyfriend doesn't deserve you - he deserves better. Someone that is faithful to him.
If you're doubting the relationship with your boyfriend, that's a sign that it's not a healthy relationship that is going to work out all happily ever after. You need to come clean and tell him what you did with your best friend.
You also need to figure out if you want to stay with the guy that treats you like a princess no matter what, or if you want to be with the guy that you're attracted to physically.
At no point in the post I felt that you truly loved one boy over the other. I really think that you just like the attention you get from your boyfriend and you're just physically drawn to your best friend. You're not giving back the love your boyfriend is giving to you. And with your best friend, it seems like not enough has happened yet to determine if you should end up with him.
Everything is up to you, so good luck in your decision.

[LindySzeto]

Who said it was up to YOU? You should really consider getting your act together. Don't toy around with your "boy's" feelings like that. He doesn't deserve to be cheated on by someone who's extremely selfish. Be a woman and confess up to your wrong doings. So, he could find someone better. You know it'll always come back around.

[VIETboredom]

Hi. It sounds like you don't really like your boyfriend but more like the "attention" he gives you, seeing as your best friend is "far away" but when your best friend is there, you only want your best friend. I'm sorry but I don't think you really like your boyfriend :[ he treats you well, he seems like the best guy in the world etc. etc. but then you realize, he's not the one you want.

The one you want is your best friend. (at least physically for sure)

Why not let the boyfriend go? If he asks questions, just tell him you don't feel the same way anymore. If he keeps asking why, just try to break contact with him :[ I mean, it'd be awkward for sure- but I know you wouldn't want to tell him about your best friend or that you cheated on him. It'll only make it worst. Break up with the guy you don't want, and get it over with soon. Or you'll start feeling guiltier :[

If you see him in the FAR future (the boyfriend), and if you are on friendly terms, you can confess your wrongdoings if you still think about it but right now, I really don't think you should confess anything. Just break up with him, you don't want him and you feel guilty being with him. The only thing stopping you is the "attention" he gives you that you don't really want.

[MAKEMESMILE.]

Should I leave my boy? Or should I stay and do my best by him?

yes. your best was obviously the worst for him.
i would usually apologize for my frankness , but i'm not going to this time ,
instead of thinking of only yourself and what you want , why not think of him this time ?
you cheated on him , lied to him , and misused the trust he had for you.

i hope your boyfriend is well. that is all.

[laffly]

Sorry to say, but by the sounds of it, your boyfriend deserves better. Let him go.

[juicejuice]

I think its best to leave the boyfriend. Because if you aren't happy in the relationship, its really hard to make people around you happy as well.
If you decide to stay with him, you have to tell him the truth and see what will happen from there...staying together or working things out.

[jadeooo]

Your boyfriend deserves better.
If your not going to truly cherish him then let him go.
Yes, he'll hurt but NOTHING is WORSE than PITY love.
Yes, you didn't TRY hard enough to give him your whole heart which he deserved.
Your love is selfish.

I think your just not ready to commit and is someone who NEEDS excitement in your relationship.
If you know about true love, you'd know that the fire/spark/excitement does not last forever.
Even if you do get with your bestie, the excitement of LUST won't last.

Make a selfish decision, its NOT FAIR to either guy.
Know that hurting your boyfriend may result him in never being able to give another his full heart again.

This reminds me of Super junior's song..

"Don't love someone like me again, dont make someone to miss again, meet someone who looks at only you and needs only you, meet someonewho loves you so much they can't go a day without you, please."

[lalaFLY_x3]

speaking from experience, being cheated on hurts a lot. being cheated on behind your back while the third person knows that your other half is in a relationship, that hurts a lot more. and when you, yourself, knows of this person's existence, it's like a stab right to the heart. get your act together.

just because your relationship was lacking, it gives you no right to cheat on him. you could have solved things with him by talking it out. if, before your bestie came along into this, you didn't feel that thought that the relationship was lacking, that just means that it wasn't something that your boyfriend could fix. it just means that you were actually looking for something you can't obtain. your boyfriend may have his bad traits, he may not be perfect, but using the excuse that he wasn't good enough and that's why you went behind his back, that's not acceptable to anyone and it shouldn't be to you.

put yourself in his shoes for a second, and imagine, what if he was you and he went behind your back while you weren't around with someone he was close with? would you still want a man that's went behind your back with someone else? would you still want someone unfaithful? don't kid yourself and say, "if he told me flat out when it happened." because you didn't do that for him. you didn't tell him when he came back. and the worse part is that you actually hid it from him. if you just want the attention, then let go of him and go to your bestie. you make it sound like he cares for you a lot more from what you're saying and how much you're complaining about your boyfriend.

i'm not trying to offend you in anyway, but your boyfriend deserves a lot better than what he has now. no one deserves to get cheated on. no one deserves to be with someone who has their heart belonging to someone else. if you can't stay faithful to one, then let that one go.

[strawberrii chuuu]

how would you feel if you were in your boyfriends position.
what if HE was the one who was doing this. cheating on you with his best friend. while at the same time, technically making a fool out of him.

i dont think you have the luxury of having the option of staying with him.
tell him what you did.
or if you dont have the guts to.
end it.

you can never have a stable relationship and future if you keep that secret from him.


and not to be harsh but you don't deserve him. he sounds like a great guy. and you pretty much effed it up pretty badly :/ i know its hard with resist temptation but still... it sucks that you're playing both boys.

[makelovenoises]

Wow.
Leave him.
Your boyfriend deserves so much better.
So much more better.

[Humilious]

agreed. your boyfriend deserves better than you. at least have the decency to tell him that you cheated. and if you've been doubting this relationship for this long, why are you still in it? your wasting you boyfriend's time. you may feel secure knowing if one doesn't work out, there's another to run to, but that's being extremely selfish. break up with your boyfriend and go to your 'bestie' because he's obviously the one that satisfies you (physically at least).

[teddyboy]

i have to agree with the others. your cheating on him was inconsiderate and selfish but i dont blame you, because everybody makes mistakes they dont want to, whether its cheating or something else. just leave him. it might leave him with a bad wound now,but it wouldnt be as bad as the one your gonna cause him later by staying. you're in love with someone else, not him anymore. that cant be changed.

good luck.

[AoiAi]

Wow, so not only are you unfaithful, you are spineless. Please do him a favor and break up with him. He deserves someone better than you. If you're unhappy in the relationship, you're just wasting your time and HIS time.