[xo.-wo.ai.ni]

Call me a newb with the love-system...
Alright so.. here I go with *my* story. (I'm sooo sorry for it being long SORRY)

Just more then haft a year ago, I started to make a new group of friends;
and its really funny because in my group only has 1 boy and 10 girls.
Anyways, I started to have a small crush on my guy friend because he was soo intresting and fascniating to me (LOL)
He's smart (knows everything) , and hes funny, shared the same intrests as me and sometimes he would occasionally flirt or do things you're not suppose to do unless you're dating that person (like sitting on me or something or trying to be super seductive lol) As a normal girl, who wouldn't like him?
The thing is, I used to be in a group of girls that only dated asian guys. So it explains the reason why I stopped hanging out with them because of various reasons.
Back to the guy I liked wasn't asian, so at that time I was still adjusting to my new friends and really embrassed to admit that I had a small crush on him - I was lying to myself.
3 months passed by, I finally gathered my guts to tell my best friend about this. After talking to my other friends about it, they all admitted that they once had liked him too, and they told me that I would get over it soon. I was afraid that if he found out, he would be weirded out and would stop being my friend and run away or something.

I've tried many times to get over him, and move on or something. All i wanted was to ensure that our friendship and group was stable, and without my strong re-occuring feelings for him.
I came back from summer holidays and I saw him at school. Something hit me and said "Sorry sister, you can't NOT like him"

I spent days and days talking to my friend about this, and she told me that I was fail at this and stand no chance with him with the position im in... and oohhh she is soo right.
Just yesterday, I saw him with this girl I've never met. And she was following him and around and my friend told me that he was spending alot of time with THAT girl. When I saw him with her, I became soo anxious and worried..But i tried to keep my cool and left off.
Today; I gave him a note on a gum wrapper,(before i miracously prayed to see him in the halls so i can give him the note) and asked that if he would like to go hang out with me and our friends to buy a birthday present. He accepted it. Later when school ended, I was outside waiting for my friend who was going to go with us, I saw him right across me with that girl.. standing there. I tried to ignore that... THEN I was so over consummed by anxiety, I ran over.
Before we left, his friends and THAT girl came up to him and said "Hey are you comming?" and he said no. THAT girl turned and smiled at me and gave him a hug. I was about to die, because of all that time I've been friends with him I've never gotten a hug!! T_T WTFH.

Later walking with him, I asked him "Hey. I think that girl likes you"
"Yeah I think so too"
"Why don't you ask her out?"
"I don't know, I mean, I don't know who likes me , or who I like or.. "
"Thats nice.. You should"  (totally died that momment)



Sorry for the loooooonnnnngggg story. I just really needed to let it out and I really hope you soompiers can give me some advice for a despirate newb whos suffering T_T



UPDATE!- EDIT 2011-

Funny story I told you guys above there.
To all the great soompis that replied to me below, I took the advice and told him two years ago.
He rejected me, and I guess I continued to like him during the time period.
As a couple years past- last summer.
He asked me out.
Which was such a surprise for me because I didn't expect him to like me back either.

We went out for a good seven months, but had to break up because of family, school, etc etc and how we kept fighting.
We still talk,
but thing is- I still like him.
AND CYCLE REPEATS.

FUNNY STORY HEY?

[KanyeWEST]

um, why would you tell him to ask out that girl?

[orangekiss]

Hmm maybe you should try telling him that you like him. Better than regret about it later.

[xo.-wo.ai.ni]

um, why would you tell him to ask out that girl?

Out of curiousity and I was wondering if he liked her back in return.

[mintcracker]

^ yeah I can see why you would say that
you can't go 'ohh....well you shouldn't'
cos you don't want him to know you like him and everything...But you know what? Why don't you tell him you like him? What have you got to lose, better knowing the truth then wondering 'what if when he's off with another girl and you end up being all sad.


Better to feel a fool for a short while, then wondering what might've happened months and months down the track.'

[* veenee]

you shouldnt have told him to like a differnt girl
and your group of friends. if you didnt like asian boys, so what? they wont criticize you.. im sure they understand and respect your decision as to whom you date

[veeveeyan]

You know what? Guys who are unsure of themselves shouldn't be with another girl.
They'll just hurt the girl and themselves and the other girl. o___o''
It's not right, in my opinion. =\

But if you really want to be with him, fight back with all your might!
Even if it doesn't work, you know you tried you best.

[,astrolicious]

You know what? Guys who are unsure of themselves shouldn't be with another girl.
They'll just hurt the girl and themselves and the other girl. o___o''
It's not right, in my opinion. =\

Too true.

I've done the whole encouraging him to ask a girl out
to check if he likes her ._.
Hmmm... I know what it's like.

Maybe you should just tell him
instead of playing around it : ( You never know.

Good luck!

[xo.-wo.ai.ni]

to
@mintcracker
@veenee
@Veeveeyan
@,astrolicious

thanks for the reply guys.
Ah, the thing I'm worried about telling him that I like him is .. It might weird him out and it will change the whole group's point of view.
He really plays with my feelings, sometimes, I want to whack him and say "Stop playing with my feelings fool!"
but that would just seem awfully weird.

[Atmosphere.]

if you're so worried about what he will think about you, girl.
then you don't deserve him. i straight out telling you that.

if you really want your man to be with you, you straight out tell him how you feel about him.
there is no need to feel pity over someone's feeling, you need to be tough and say it.

rejection is scary, but is better to know it than later.

you're gona let your dream lover fade away from you very fast if you don't speak up.

[nico0le]

wow! i have got the same situation as you.
i kept asking him whether he likes this girl cause he kept mentioning her name or flirt with her, trying to date her out.
I wasnt feeling very good about this cause this girl is my friend.
but whenever i asked him, he will be like,"I am just fooling around with her."
Then, i was hopeful again(:
LOL.
it just had to be like this sometimes.

[phoenix rise]

yeah i've been through it. each and every time it is tough. and just because you have been through it before doesn't mean that it will be easier the next time; you won't be immune to the pain just cause you have been through it before.

[xo.-wo.ai.ni]

Ah.
So. guys, thanks for all the advices.
Well, I attempted to tell him.Chickened out; so my friend offered to tell him for me.
But at the end of the day i realised its even more pathetic if i got a friend of mine to do it for me.. while shes best friends with him.
I called her and told her to abort the plan.
She told me she already did tell him.
And so..
His reply was "I already knew she liked me"
but he doesn't know that I know he knows that i like him>
if that made any sense.

=.=
Yep, as I predicted, its worst then being ignored. Nothing more then akward, just no more talking..
just like that...

[unaa-]

trust me, i know exactly how you felt.
the best advice i can give you is to tell him, or get someone else to tell him,
after you find out for sure life becomes so much easier for you.
i got my best friend to tell him for me and yeh it was unrequited but after that things became so much easier for me.
before i knew for sure i avoided talking to him and i thought it was really awkward with him, we hardly ever talked but now
its so much better coz i know its something i have to get over you know . i think he was weirded out but hes just not showing it... i still like the guy but its not as sad or awkward only coz i know for sure.
i honestly think the only way you can stop thinking about this is to know the answer for sure.
DO IT
tell me how it goes if you do

[duntellmi]

Then the guy did....nothing? Is that a yes or no anyway?? >.<
I have been in your shoes before. I didn't tell the guy, but avoided him. It didn't feel very good whenever I see him talking very happily to other girls. But now, after some time, I can handle it better. Its like...suppressed, you know? Not healthy, but better than nothing =P

[ladyb]

LOL this is kinda cute HAHAHA reminds me of middleschoooool, when i used to think like that and do stuff like that. anyways i'm sensing you're jealous because i have a very very very good friend who is just like him and i sometimes feel jealous.. he'll come up to me flirt, talk to me online and he'll say stuff that people who are dating or getting to know each other better would say if you know what i mean. he'll tell me he got reject to dance with girls at dances and would ask you'll dance with me though right? and things like that. BUT seeing what you're saying i feel like you still like him and you like him A LOT. either find a friend to find out who he likes or man up and ask him.

[SunniRise]

Does he do all those seductive things with all of his friends? It may be the crazy person that I am but I think he could have been hinting something when he said... :I don't know, I mean, I don't know who likes me , or who I like or..

It could be that he is a player or wahtever.
In your case I would defenitely tell him, I mean what do you have to lose? We all have to take risks in our lifetime and it's better to tell him than be wondering for the rest of your life.

and you know what, I dont agree with your friend who said that you stand no chance with him. that's BS! No one can tell you if you stand a chance but yourself... and sometimes even we make bad judgements.

Good luck.

[mrsjaejoong]

i know you're shy, but why don't you hug him for a change? just say bye and give him a friendly hug.. it's not like you guys have NEVER touched, i mean, he sat on you right?
then just talk to him a lot.. see where it goes

[itsannies]

You're probably still young. If you want him, then step up and do something about it. Because later on in life, you're gonna think back when he's happy with another girl, your mind is gonna ask "Dang, what if...?" You got nothing to lose. Afraid of awkwardness? Well that will pass, I promise you.