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Mens Rules For Ladies ^__^

#1 User is offline   iTz_Soupah_Squirrel 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 05:55 PM

We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

lol ^__^
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#2 User is offline   Choco-Chippudding 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 05:59 PM

Hhahahahahhah these are funny! happy.gif

QUOTE
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

--^ That's really funny XD
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#3 User is offline   rawwr_chihari x3 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 06:04 PM

LOL. The rules are funny tongue.gif
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#4 User is offline   Tinnnny 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 06:22 PM

1. If you want us to do two things at once, forget it. It's impossible
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#5 User is offline   iTz_Soupah_Squirrel 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 09:30 PM

1. Crying is blackmail.

thats the best one in my opinion ^__^
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#6 User is offline   myaimisme 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 09:53 PM

yessssss. you tell them!
click here
i laugh at you if you really were clicking
let there be light! highlight this sig.
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#7 User is offline   ichigo_no_powder 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 10:09 PM

LOL i'm sending this to my bf.

QUOTE
. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

'but I give very obvious hints' was the first thing that came to mind when i read the first rule!
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#8 User is offline   Boomx2Brian 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 10:25 PM

i know this is in the humor section, but a lot of these are flat out true
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#9 User is offline   lieezldesu 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 10:28 PM

" 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! "
laugh.gif puahahaha!!
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#10 User is offline   00forever00 

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Posted 13 September 2009 - 10:54 PM

QUOTE (iTz_Soupah_Squirrel @ Sep 13 2009, 05:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
1. Crying is blackmail.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


two favorite rules out of all for me....ahahhahahahha

ladies, pls learnt it well wink.gif
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#11 User is offline   iTz_Soupah_Squirrel 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:23 PM

QUOTE (Boomx2Brian @ Sep 14 2009, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i know this is in the humor section, but a lot of these are flat out true

they r funny tho ^__^"
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#12 User is offline   Hot Fire Neko 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:35 PM

This needs to be posted in a non-fiction section, not a humor section.

Most are so dead on it's ridiculous. laugh.gif
Live forever, or die trying <3
Residing in Seoul as of 13Oct09
6'4 Jamacian Japanese speaking male residing in Korea. I kinda stand out <3
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#13 User is offline   Chalk-Bandits 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:39 PM

Hmm..these are so true. biggrin.gif
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#14 User is offline   babiloveyoo 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 03:41 PM

Hahah that was a good read lols.
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#15 User is offline   iTz_Soupah_Squirrel 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:16 PM

im glad ppl actually read my post ^__^"
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#16 User is offline   adaytodiefor 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:22 PM

lol...
these are funny.

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#17 User is offline   wnelek 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:31 PM

awesome. i'll keep them in mind(;




with no malice, with all charity.
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#18 User is offline   Tuffcore 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:34 PM

QUOTE (iTz_Soupah_Squirrel @ Sep 13 2009, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

This is number 1 on a list of all number 1s for a good reason!
Pain is temporary
Glory is forever
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#19 User is offline   strawberry_hit 

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:35 PM

lol..the last one did it...hahaha
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#20 User is offline   san-ni-ichi 

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Posted 15 September 2009 - 06:32 AM

These are so true, hahaha ^^
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