[Twiggy]

Ok, one of my girl friends just found out her boyfriend cheated on her and the first thing she did was get in a fight with the girl he cheated with. And then later made up with her boyfriend after he "apologized" and said that it was his fault WHICH IT WAS! I just don't get it, he cheated on her and yet she takes him back but messes up the face of the girl he was seeing.

I'm just wondering in cheating situations who is the one most responsible for breaking up the relationship. The "other" person who probably realized that he was in a relationship and still tried to go for it or the "cheater" who can't control his urges? I realize they are both at fault, but one has to be the main reason. Let's assume your s/o does have feelings for you.

A better phrased question would be. Girls/Guys who would you hate more, your s/o who cheated on you or the "other" person? The more I think about it, it starts getting really confusing lol.

[KanyeWEST]

i think its safe to say that both people are to be equally blamed unless the other person did not know they were in a relationship.

[delightful123]

They're both at fault, but if I were in that position, I'd probably be most infuriated with my boyfriend.

[peppermintsugar]

^^ Yeah. Obviously both people are doing something wrong (unless the outer party is unknowing about the girlfriend), but my boyfriend would be more to blame than that girl. My boyfriend is the one I'm supposed to be able to trust and put my faith in, not some girl.

[agnes.]

i think its safe to say that both people are to be equally blamed unless the other person did not know they were in a relationship.

this.
but i'd probably be more pissed at the girl coz i have feelings for my bf you know. xD;

[littlemisssunsunshine]

well both. but more so at the s/o because you're in a relationship with that person, not 'the other person'.

[mintcracker]

^ yeah I hate how girls always blame the other girl....uh it takes TWO to tango. So the bf is actually as much at fault, if not more.

[sixth.]

when it happened to me, i was furious with the other girl. true, i was mad at my boyfriend as well, but i guess i was too pissed off to think through the situation clearly and just directed all my anger towards the girl... also because she was a friend and knew everything about my relationship.

[ny-sw / ny_sw.]

if my boyfriend cheats on me with someone, i'd be john teshing pissed at him, not the girl. i was dating him and if we're dating, it's assumed that we have this mutual respect and attraction for each other. by cheating, you willingly throw all that out the window.
most likely, if the girl let him cheat with her, then we didn't respect or like each other in the first place, so that's no big. ;p

[xo_sugar_ox]

they're both at fault equally but i'd be the most angry at the s/o.

[rachilde]

The cheating agent. They have a social contract with you to not cheat--that person owes no one anything and does not have a social contract with you to not steal your boyfriend/girlfriend or respect your feelings or anything of the sort. Of course, social contracts aren't always reliable or enforceable, but they should be and that's where the moral culpability comes from.

[Kanzen]

I'd be more mad at the girl, but I would feel BETRAYED by my boyfriend and break up with him.

[Want2LoveU]

What's with all the hate, we got to learn to forgive. Your friend should apologize to the girl, she forgives her boyfriend but doesn't take the time to say sorry and forgive the girl? All the violence, when will there be peace in this world? =(

[mintcracker]

^ lol?
cheaters don't deserve to be forgiven. She was stupid to forgive her bf...Watch her get cheated on again in due time.

[hannieoon]

Well... it could be both. But mostly the one who cheats.

[bonjour tristesse.]

They're both at fault. The girl shouldn't have fought with the girl though, it would just make things complicated. She should have just talked it out with the guy.

[DarkWaltz]

I would say both, however...

The real person at fault is the one who cheated. It is common that external factors will come in play, and "not being able to resist" is just not an excuse. Trust should be part of a relationship.

So, the person who cheated is at fault.

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

its the man. HE KNOWS ITS WRONG. forget about the other woman. even if she knows he is in a relationship because he knows as well too and he goes for it. if we get cheated on we tend to hate both. but he is the main cause and the main problem.

[Lionheart]

It's the cheater's fault.

I also think your friend is stupid for fighting the girl who didn't do anything wrong. That girl wasn't cheating on anyone-- but the boyfriend was. That girl didn't betray your friend-- her boyfriend did.

She's making a mistake going back to him. It's also flattering when girls fight each other over a guy so if anything, he's got an ego boost and learned nothing from this situation.

[VERONlCA]

They're both to blame if they were both aware of the relationship. But usually I'd say more so the cheater.

Under some circumstances, I would blame the other girl more. Anyways, I wanna share a story. My friend Kelly had a best friend, Amanda, since kindergarten, and they ALWAYS hung out together, and they were just really close. They shared all their secrets with each other, etc. Since middle school, Kelly was dating this guy Connor. Kelly and Connor had their moments, but they were pretty much in love with each other. Until senior year of high school. Kelly found out that Connor had been cheating on her with Amanda for a year. Oh, and guess how she found out? She caught them making out. During her birthday party. On her bed.

If that happened to me, I would blame the girl more than my s/o. I'd expect my best friend since kindergarten to be more loyal to me than a boyfriend for four or five years or so.

Basically, if the other girl was a close friend or say, a sister, then the girl would be more to blame. But if not, blame the guy. He's usually the pinkberry.