[Dorkii_Gurl]

so..my bf..
we've been together for 1 year and 8months now..
and...
well i was never able to get over his ex..?
like the fact that he was madly in love with her i mean..
because he was soooo sweet to her..
i read his comments to her on myspace..
and he never said anything like what he told her to me..
i feel like he treats me like dirt compared to her..
he would say things like..
i wish it was cold so i have an excsue to hold you..but i'd hold you nayway..hehhe
you're the most beautiful girl ever, i wouldn't ever trade you for nothing
my life would be nothing without you
i would never hurt you
its gonna be you and me always and forever
and the list goes on
i know its like realllyy cheesy..
but..the way he treats me..i wish he was like that..
he NEVER says anything sweet to me like that
he really loved this girl..and the ONLY reason why he let her go was because she cheated on him..
if that never happened..they would've gotten married..yup..thats how seriously in love he was with her
i asked him why hes not like that with me..and he says that he changed because she cheated on hiim..
i feel like im the one getting punished for her wrong doings ya know?
and he never hits girls..playfully i mean..
but he always hits me and i HATE that..its annoying..its not fun..and i find it disrespectful since im not ok with it..
hes always like flickin at my forehead, punching me in the arm..etc
and hes always negative...
he wasnt like that when he was with her..
really..he was like..in lala land when he was in love with her..
but with me..its like he doesnt even give a crap whether or not im here
he said all those cheesy stuff to his ex..
and when i ask him how come he doesnt say sweet things to me, he says its cuz its gay....


i jus cant take it anymore but i feel trapped..like i cant leave him..
what should i do?
i already tried talkin to him about it numerous times..
and he says he needs time..and i give him time..and i see him improve REALLY SLOWLY
like being a lil less negative..
but after that little improvement..he goes back to being the way he was before..
i wanna leave him but i cant cuz we have a kid, hes payin for my school, i dont have anywhere else to go..
i want to find someone thats gonna treat me like a princess too..the way he treated her ex..

i carry all the groceries in..he doesnt even hold the door open for me with my hands full..
he always works on his car..
us watching a show that he likes is considered us spending time together..
we dont ever do anything else..it gets boring and frustrating someimtes..
i wanna go OUT..im home with the baby all day and i jus want us to do something more speical than jus sit on our bums watching tv
its jus..IDK WHAT TO DO..=/

------------------
so we had the most serious talk in our relationship
and it concluded in us still being together
and he says he still needs time..
and i asked him how long and i told him in honesty
that idk how long i can wait..
i "know" he loves me..
but its different than being shown the love, right?
words can only go so far...
i wanna hear how much i mean to him..i wanna see him bring flowers..
I wanna see him give me his jacket when its cold..
etc....
and he said MAYBE another year..
so what do u guys think?
im thinkin..that by next year i'll be a certified pharmacy tech
and i'll be able to move out and finish payin for my school to be a pharmacist..
all the while takin care of my baby
so if he really doesnt change by then..im jus gonna leave him
no more..929384933 chances
i can only take in so much neglection....
as much as i do love him....
=/

[MNLV27]

Maybe it's time for you to become independent. Stop leaning on him for his support, what if he decides he doesn't want you anymore? What are you going to do? You should of thought more into the relationship that you guys had before you decided to get knocked up by him.

Since you're so dependent on him, you can't really do anything but be with him and deal with it. He was hurt by his ex whom he truly loved like you mentioned, of course he's going to have his guard up and not let that happen again with his next relationship. You can always just keep trying to talk to him about it. Be more serious that you don't like it when he's a bit physical with you. Just talk to him.

[peppermintsugar]

Well, I really understand what he says when he says that he's changed because his ex cheated on him. It can be really painful and almost life changing even for someone you love so much, and have given everything to, to cheat on you. Then again, that's love -- Giving yourself away in hopes that this person will take care of you. My boyfriend is sort of the same way, he's dated so much before me, and done so much for girls, that he's almost tired, ya know? I ask him why he can't give me 100% sometimes, and he says it's just difficult because he already has so many times before.

Just try your best to be as understanding as you can, and maybe when he feels comfortable enough with the love you two have, he will start to treat you the same way.

[sumoberrylu]

i think in order for him to realize, you need to take the initiative. i know how it feels when he doesnt do stuff that he did with someone else...but you need to prove to him and show him that he can love you the same way and even more then he loved his ex. he's probably putting up a barrier because he got so hurt in the past. you kind of just have to have him trust you more and show him that you're different and that you're not his ex and stuff.

try to show him you love him. cook him a romantic dinner. tell him the lines that you want him to tell you. buy tickets for an amusement park or a day out. slowly, he'll open his eyes.

the more you show love to him, the more he will return the love.

[whatismyname]

dump him. he's not the one. he's not even qualified to be your 'mr. right now' guy. come on.

[taebins_luver]

whoa, yall got a baby together?
all that, and you still had a baby with him?
not to be mean, but you've dug yourself in deep -EDIT hole

mm...i personally wouldn't say 'leave him' just because he's making cheesy remarks to his ex.
maybe...the baby did it? not to point fingers at the baby, but, guys change after a baby.
things change after a baby, it's not hugs and kisses anymore, it's diapers and bath time.
maybe you should determine where his level of faithfulness is to you before you decide anything.
those love remarks could possibly lead to cheating, heart break and divorce, if he's not devoted.

my friend has been married for 2 years now, and things between her hubby and her were like, gold.
then along came a baby, and suddenly he no longer wants to participate in their marriage anymore.
bath time is mommy, bottle is mommy, diaper is mommy, everything is mommy.

maybe you should leave him, see if he decides to change, but like i said on a post here,
if he isn't gon do it, he ain't gon do it.
you just have to stablize yourself before you do anything you'll possibly regret later on.

good luck and take care of your precious baby okay.

[chibifish622]

This guy got his heart broken, you can't blame him for not being the same. I see that you've given him time to "recover" and that's good, a broken heart is hard to heal. Just show him how great a girlfriend you are and show your love to him. Slowly, he'll see that you're a better girlfriend than his ex.

However you should talk to him about hitting you ._. A guy should never "punch" a woman even playfully. Flicking, poking, pinching are fine as long as you're okay with it.

You can't expect a guy to read what's on your mind. If you want to go out and have fun, tell him. Don't wait for him to initiate everything. A relationship is an equal partnership; you start the process and see if he'll follow and do the same.

[visuelz]

I would assume this isn't his baby if you guys been going out for a year and eight months. Good luck.

[Dorkii_Gurl]

i think in order for him to realize, you need to take the initiative. i know how it feels when he doesnt do stuff that he did with someone else...but you need to prove to him and show him that he can love you the same way and even more then he loved his ex. he's probably putting up a barrier because he got so hurt in the past. you kind of just have to have him trust you more and show him that you're different and that you're not his ex and stuff.

try to show him you love him. cook him a romantic dinner. tell him the lines that you want him to tell you. buy tickets for an amusement park or a day out. slowly, he'll open his eyes.

the more you show love to him, the more he will return the love.

but i'm all tired out too..
ive always initiated everything..
as soon as i realized he didnt do anything sweet for me..
i figured i can always do something sweet for him cuz i love him
(i started to fall in love with about after being with him for 3 months)
so i always gave him gifts on our month anniversaries the whole year
I always planned our dates
I bought him dinner
i would always text him sweet things or leave him sweet messages
I would remind him how much he means to me
I would always drive over to his place and its like an hour away..and i HATE driving
etc
after a whole year..i jus got tired..he never appreciated all the things that i did for him
and he never showed how much he cared for me
and so thats when i started to bring his ex up and thats when we started getting into fights every now and then
I keep thinkin to myself that loves not selfish and loves patient
but..idk..it gets so frustrating at times...
and altely..since i dont work being a full time student and mother
i jus try to plan dates that doesnt involve money
like going to the park
takin walks
but apparently..
thats too gay for him

whoa, yall got a baby together?
all that, and you still had a baby with him?
not to be mean, but you've dug yourself in deep -EDIT hole

mm...i personally wouldn't say 'leave him' just because he's making cheesy remarks to his ex.
maybe...the baby did it? not to point fingers at the baby, but, guys change after a baby.
things change after a baby, it's not hugs and kisses anymore, it's diapers and bath time.
maybe you should determine where his level of faithfulness is to you before you decide anything.
those love remarks could possibly lead to cheating, heart break and divorce, if he's not devoted.

my friend has been married for 2 years now, and things between her hubby and her were like, gold.
then along came a baby, and suddenly he no longer wants to participate in their marriage anymore.
bath time is mommy, bottle is mommy, diaper is mommy, everything is mommy.

maybe you should leave him, see if he decides to change, but like i said on a post here,
if he isn't gon do it, he ain't gon do it.
you just have to stablize yourself before you do anything you'll possibly regret later on.

good luck and take care of your precious baby okay.

no he was like this before the baby came along
and i know he's devoted
like i understand that he has a hard time showin his emotions..
but its jus like..its been a year and 8 months..
cant i see some kind of caring love?
i guess MAYBE him being negative could hav ebeen from the baby cuz i never saw him so negative before
its ridiculous and gets on my nerves
like he would jus be cursin left and right at everyone and everythingt

I would assume this isn't his baby if you guys been going out for a year and eight months. Good luck.

umm yeaa.
i dont believe in cheating
i think its a waste of time
I might as well be single if i wanna sleep around and be a sluty hore
and he doesnt believe in cheating either
even if he doesnt show me how much he cares
i know he still loves me and i know hes not cheating either
i trust him
its jus..i want him to be more AFFECTIONATE

[Want2LoveU]

You are thousand times better than him, just dump his sorry ass.

[MNLV27]

From your edit, if you think you can stand to wait until next year then go right ahead.

Honestly, why wait until next year? For the next few months he still wants to be hung up on his ex? He still wants to sulk for another few months when he's got a gf and baby who can make him happy right in front of him? I think he's blind, most likely he won't know what he's got in front of him until it's gone. Good luck though.

[I_Love_Rice]

first error was having the baby... you have to try your best to make him want you, to let him know that you're not like that (cheating type). The thing is, getting with someone that was in love, and broken, sometimes they can never get over it. Sorry to hear he's not being nice to you, but maybe something along the way, would smack him right in the face and he'll realize you.