[lemon-spice<3]

I've been liking this guy for at least.....almost a year now. It's obviously a one-sided love, since whenever I try to talk to him, he just replies with one word or two and looks around a lot. He's quiet all the time and he doesn't talk all that much, even my friends say that. The point is, I told him ( after many tries of talking to him) well, regretfully, gave him a note saying I just thought he was cute and hope to be friends someday. Eversince then, which was last march, I haven't talked to him. He never replied either.

I started liking another guy and eventually dated him for three weeks, but was dumped froo some unknown reason. It was through a break up poem he gave me. It was pretty strange, kiss on monday, flowers on wed, wasn't at school thurs, and break up poem friday. It was all in the same week. Anyways, point is, after the break up, I started liking the other guy again, the feelings started coming back and now it's stronger than ever. I can't stand it, since I know it's just a stupid one-sided love. Is there any way I can just push my feelings for him away? I really need help, since I know this has to stop someday, since I get depressed and have these sad feelings each time I think about it or if I see him randomly in the halls. Please help me! I just can't take it anymore. =[

[bonjour tristesse.]

Before any accusations though .. How do you know it's a one sided love? Have you confessed to him? Tell him you like him? It doesn't matter that his replies are short, you never asked so you'll never know. Ask before you make any conclusions.

It's obviously a one-sided love

You said it yourself, it's a one-sided love. Say that he doesn't like you. Don't try to hurt yourself over someone that will probably never love you back. I'm not saying it's not possible but you're talking as if he's the only one in the world. I know it's pretty hypocritical for me to say let it go and usually, I'm not the type of person to tell someone to forget about them because of course I understand what you're going through and that if you have feelings for him, it'll be hard to. But honestly, it'll be better if you do. If he can't see how great of a person you are then it's his miss.

[rachilde]

I've been told that I'm a lot different than most people and I have some very bizarre but charming social techniques that probably wouldn't work on people who aren't as odd as I am--but here's what I say to someone who doesn't say much when I try to converse with them, "Are you always this taciturn or are you just having a bad day." About 75% of the time I get asked what the hell taciturn means, the other 20% of the time they tell me that they're having a bad day, and then 5% of the time they say that's just how they usually are. For the record, taciturn means 'temperamentally disinclined to talk.' 75% of the time I get a good conversation out it; 20% of the time I get to listen to how tired they are but it's still a good conversation; and the next 5%, well, is an uphill battle.

But then, you know, I'm never one to leave the elephant in the room alone.

[lemon-spice<3]

Before any accusations though .. How do you know it's a one sided love? Have you confessed to him? Tell him you like him? It doesn't matter that his replies are short, you never asked so you'll never know. Ask before you make any conclusions.


You said it yourself, it's a one-sided love. Say that he doesn't like you. Don't try to hurt yourself over someone that will probably never love you back. I'm not saying it's not possible but you're talking as if he's the only one in the world. I know it's pretty hypocritical for me to say let it go and usually, I'm not the type of person to tell someone to forget about them because of course I understand what you're going through and that if you have feelings for him, it'll be hard to. But honestly, it'll be better if you do. If he can't see how great of a person you are then it's his miss.

I'm pretty sure that he knows I like him. I tried talking to him and after many tries, I just resorted to giving him a simple note saying I thought he was cute and hope to be friends. No reply and I don't expect one either. I know, I should let go and I'm trying to do that. I just don't know how since everytime I try, i just go back to base 1 again.

What you said about not asking is pretty true. I'll never know if I don't ask, but wouldn't his actions speak for itself? Maybe I'm just making the situation bigger than it is. We don't really know each other....but we have some of the same friends. Though, I'm not really close to them. Normally, my crushes just last until I know the person isn't interested, but for him, it's sooo different. I hate being like this a lot.

I've been told that I'm a lot different than most people and I have some very bizarre but charming social techniques that probably wouldn't work on people who aren't as odd as I am--but here's what I say to someone who doesn't say much when I try to converse with them, "Are you always this taciturn or are you just having a bad day." About 75% of the time I get asked what the hell taciturn means, the other 20% of the time they tell me that they're having a bad day, and then 5% of the time they say that's just how they usually are. For the record, taciturn means 'temperamentally disinclined to talk.' 75% of the time I get a good conversation out it; 20% of the time I get to listen to how tired they are but it's still a good conversation; and the next 5%, well, is an uphill battle.

But then, you know, I'm never one to leave the elephant in the room alone.

I actually smiled at your reply. It's pretty smart of you to do that, but...what if he just smiles and says nothing? lol. Thanks, ( as strange as it sounds) it really made my day.

[ritzy!]

unrequited love... it sucks.. lol
it took me....8-12=5 years..5 years to get over my guy! lol
but im finally over him, FINALLY!! eesh!! Lol.

Time will take its' tolll and love will find its' wayyyyy lalala

[saintdaifuku]

reality is generally a good cure.

i maybe wrong, but seems like this boy doesn't know what to do and figures if he ignores it, it'll go away. generally people tend to do that. so if you wanna fight against the stereotypical method, you can keep bubbling up to him until he talks to you, aka you have to talk to him a lot. OR, do what most people do because they can't really be bothered to expend the energy, and just move along =]

i'd have to say not to worry about this; everyone goes through something like this once in a while, and they get over it too. if anything, just pick up a hobby or something to keep yourself occupied.

[lemon-spice<3]

reality is generally a good cure.

i maybe wrong, but seems like this boy doesn't know what to do and figures if he ignores it, it'll go away. generally people tend to do that. so if you wanna fight against the stereotypical method, you can keep bubbling up to him until he talks to you, aka you have to talk to him a lot. OR, do what most people do because they can't really be bothered to expend the energy, and just move along =]

i'd have to say not to worry about this; everyone goes through something like this once in a while, and they get over it too. if anything, just pick up a hobby or something to keep yourself occupied.

is it too late to talk to him though? I haven't talked to him since last march....the day I gave him the note and not reply.

[saintdaifuku]

well it's been a while, he may or may not have forgotten about it, but in any case it doesn't hurt to say hello and chat a bit right?

[tsai_jolen]

If only there was a cure. It's going to take a while for you to get over this guy. If anything it seems like your replacing one poison for another. You have to stop chasing him and let him do all the work; that’s if you want him. But if this guy has taken the initiative by now then he probably never will. The thing that will hurt is when you find out his dating someone else or you seem him with someone else. Some people are destined to be strangers or just friends their whole lives.

[lemon-spice<3]

well it's been a while, he may or may not have forgotten about it, but in any case it doesn't hurt to say hello and chat a bit right?

it wouldn't. but....it'd make him feel like i'm trying to 'hit on him' all over again, wouldn't it?

[saintdaifuku]

now that's over-analyzing. just be chill, say hi and chat =] if he takes it wrong, his fault. you were just being friendly and there's nothing wrong with being friendly.

[lemon-spice<3]

If only there was a cure. It's going to take a while for you to get over this guy. If anything it seems like your replacing one poison for another. You have to stop chasing him and let him do all the work; that’s if you want him. But if this guy has taken the initiative by now then he probably never will. The thing that will hurt is when you find out his dating someone else or you seem him with someone else. Some people are destined to be strangers or just friends their whole lives.

Yeah, I know what you're saying. Though I do have to say, I really did like that guy I dated after, it just didn't work out and I ended up coming back to liking this guy. Seeing him with someone else will hurt, but at least I can put my mind at rest. If he's dating someone else then I will back down and just keep my thoughts and feelings for him to myself. The last thing I want to be is the 'other' girl or the 'pinkberryy boyfriend snatcher'. =] True, some are destined to be just friends, while some are destined to be strangers. But one could change the path if he/she wanted to right?

now that's over-analyzing. just be chill, say hi and chat =] if he takes it wrong, his fault. you were just being friendly and there's nothing wrong with being friendly.

I do tend to over-analyze things too much, and it's a major flaw in me. I will do that then. =] tomorrow when I see him and if the time is suitable. =] Thanks.

[whatismyname]

wow.......im curious as to how you can like a person who keeps ignoring you?

im sorry but that sounds creepy. even if you just say hi and bye too

[lemon-spice<3]

wow.......im curious as to how you can like a person who keeps ignoring you?

im sorry but that sounds creepy. even if you just say hi and bye too

it's shouldn't be creepy. It's only creepy if you stalk the person. A person can't help who he/she likes, stranger or not. He's a friend of some of my friends, that's how I know him. We don't talk at all, just know that we have some of the same friends. It's not and shouldn't be creepy to just talk to a person, since for all he knows, my feelings probably changed, it's obvious it hasn't, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. =] As 'saintdaifuku' stated, if he takes it the wrong way, then it's his loss.

[SailorBoy62]

I'm sorry, but it doesn't really sound like you actually know anything substantial about this guy. You have a couple of mutual friends, but you don't talk to him, you're not really friends with him, essentially, you don't know the important things that would actually warrant having feelings for him. Like what he's into, what kind of person he is, you don't even really know that your personalities click, so I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but it doesn't sound like you really like him at all. There's the excuse that people give that you can't explain why you like someone, you just like them, that's true to an extent, but there's a line where it's just like, if you don't know anything about him, it might be something other than genuinely liking him.

Especially when you talk about liking him again after your ex broke up with you. It seems more or less like you're projecting your idea of what you want onto him. He's a quiet guy, and you don't necessarily know that much about him, therefore it's pretty easy for you to fantasize what it would be like to be with him or have these feelings for him since he's essentially not tangible enough for you to be disappointed by it. He's a safe choice because he's essentially a blank slate when it comes to his actual being, and on some level, you seem to know he's not interested, so there's no real sense of disappointment about it.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, before you go confessing your feelings to him, really try to take a look at where your feelings are coming from. It might feel like you like him, but it's very possible you just like the idea of him, and really, that's not a good way to start something healthy with someone. It sets up these high expectations and high standards that reality might not live up to in the long run.

[whatismyname]

it's shouldn't be creepy. It's only creepy if you stalk the person. A person can't help who he/she likes, stranger or not. He's a friend of some of my friends, that's how I know him. We don't talk at all, just know that we have some of the same friends. It's not and shouldn't be creepy to just talk to a person, since for all he knows, my feelings probably changed, it's obvious it hasn't, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. =] As 'saintdaifuku' stated, if he takes it the wrong way, then it's his loss.

uh......didnt you already say you tried to talk to him or something? and he kept ignoring you but now youre still trying to say hi and bye to him? just because youre not stalking him doesnt mean its not creepy. it could also come off as annoying and weird. especially since you dont even know the guy well........how is this title called 'love hurts'? its not even love.........

well if you dont like what i have to say just ignore it. seems to me like you already have some thoughts planned out. asking for advice but then trying to persuade yourself into doing whatever your originally planned to do.......hmm...well goodluck

[tsai_jolen]

Yeah, I know what you're saying. Though I do have to say, I really did like that guy I dated after, it just didn't work out and I ended up coming back to liking this guy. Seeing him with someone else will hurt, but at least I can put my mind at rest. If he's dating someone else then I will back down and just keep my thoughts and feelings for him to myself. The last thing I want to be is the 'other' girl or the 'pinkberryy boyfriend snatcher'. =] True, some are destined to be just friends, while some are destined to be strangers. But one could change the path if he/she wanted to right?

Yeah they could. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to make this work. It's been a year from what you've told us. If he's not seeing what a great person you are then you should move on. If anything save you'reself the heartache. Find someone who can really see you for you.

[Sasami]

Don't hold on to that feeling you have to let it go, it's not worth it.

[woei]

one sided love hurts like mini cooper...
i always having one sided love...
the guy that i like will never like me back

[bonjour tristesse.]

No, sad to say sometimes actions doesn't speak louder than words. In your circumstance, it's still best off to ask him personally.