[marco.polo]

Just wondering haha. Me and my ex broke up about a month ago, it was a 4 month relationship. We always said that we would stay good friends if we ever did break up. So far, it's been easier said than done. Now, it feels pretty awkward talking to her. It's actually to the point where it feels like we'll never be good friends again, the way we were before we started dating. My friend is also experiencing the same thing, her and her ex have that awkwardness too and when my cousin doesn't even talk to his ex anymore. Sooooo... Can Ex's ever return to that "good friends" relationship they had before they dated? I guess it's kind of a dumb question, but I'm curious about what you guys think haha.

[Poop-Shoop-A-Loop]

If you guys put the effort , yeah it can work. It also depends how you broke up. Was it a messy break up? mutual? etc.

When my ex and I broke up we didn't properly talk for 2 years. He ignored me for a year after the breakup so I got fed up in trying to be his friend and ignored him the following year. Then BAM we were instant best friends again, haha. There wasn't any awkwardness or anything. It was as if we had been friends all along..

You guys just probably need time. I think for most, even if exes end up being friends again, things are still slightly different than before. I guess my ex and I were lucky in rekindling our previous friendship.

[sixth.]

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
the first time i ever used the "we can still be friends " line on a guy, we ended up hating each other (and we still do!)
but out of all relationships, i'm still friends with my ex who cheated on me. it took a while, and it's still not perfect, but at least we're civil with each other.

[veeveeyan]

The only ex that I'm friends with is my middle school ex which really doesn't count (and he's gay now?).

But other than that, my ex's - well, I don't even try talking to them.

I think it's because you crossed that boundary between just being friends and once you break up, it's hard or awkward backtracking all the way back to friends.

My one and a half year ex and I always told each other that if we ever happened to break up then we would always be good friends - It didn't happen. It was just too weird seeing him as a friend afterward.

[Mzz L]

I'm best friends with a couple of my exes but we weren't that serious.
All the relatively serious ones I've had - still talk to here and there with good intentions but we're not friends like we were before we dated. We just talk once a while.

So in my case, only the ones I wasn't serious with.

[whatismyname]

i dont think its possible. depends on what you mean by 'friends' though. things can never go back to the way it is.
depending on how you end it......
if you end it on a good term,then its even harder to just be friends, because its pretty hard for you guys to draw the line.......unless like ten years passes and both of you are married or with another person......
and if you guys ended on bad terms well then.....there wasnt much respect there anyway in the first place

[naoto]

if it ended off on good terms (mutual, both lost feelings, neither really cared) then it`s possible. If the one who got dumped is strong and moved on easily it`s possible. If not, unlikely. It`s all about who dumped who... kind of immature when you think about it, but true.

[bonjour tristesse.]

There isn't 'chances'. It's decisions. If you want to be friends with him then be friends with him.

[HaplessChild]

I'm on pretty good terms with almost all of my ex's. We still talk very openly and communicate some intimate details of our lives.

[sumi_]

It takes effort from both sides and some times of adjustment. There's no rushing it.
My first boyfriend and I are actually really close. We are both in college but always find time to hang out during holidays or when our schedules are not too hectic.

It's not impossible but I think the relationship must have not ended in bad terms. Let both sides have some time to cope with the change of roles.

[pink_lotus]

to me, it depends how much you`ve been through with a guy......
LOL
......
>< almost all of my relationships with my exs have been serious.. so..

[Javus]

IT really depends on two things, if you ended the relationship on good terms and if the relationship wasn't so serious. The more intimate and serious the relationship was, it'll be that much harder to go back and just be friends.

[se7en]

Its very hard to still be 'good' friends, things will never be the same like it use to be. If you do happen to be good friends afterwards, there is a pretty good chance that one still has feelings for the other.

[x3.jelLee]

Hmm. Well I think that you can be friends if both make an effort. If it's only one person trying then it's going to be very awkward trying to talk to each other when the other is unwilling. Based on experience, I don't believe that you can get back to the good friends state. It's just too awkward to handle.

[mz_imperfect]

You need time, although a month has been a while considering it was a 4 month relationship. And it also may depend on how things were when you broke up, etc. Apparently there are still feelings there or else things wouldn't be awkward...

That's just my opinion because I'm best friends with my ex and we have no feelings for each other what so ever despite how we broke things off. But the past is the past and we both moved on.

[KOGEPANN;)]

I think you should give it a cooling off period before talking to your ex again,
I mean that's how me and my ex were, our relationship lasted for a short time before i broke it off,
we both moved on and one day he just called me out of the blue to check up on me etc. he was still sort of bitter, but we're still friends and talk on the phone and exchange a few texts.

[milkygoodness]

i definitely agree with the others.. its mostly time and i think.. how clean the break up was.. because if either side - if left with some dim light of hope or lingering feelings, well it could become a whole rachel + ross thing you know, you know you know?! haha ah also understanding and respect for one another's decisions.. so that they can accept things and move on

[SailorBoy62]

I think it depends on your personality as well. Here's my thing about relationships, you get to see a lot of different sides to that person that you wouldn't normally see if you were just friends with them. For me, I have issues getting over stuff like that. It's awkward and uncomfortable to me, like a, "I know you too well" kind of thing. For other people, that's not really a problem.

[Hot Fire Neko]

It's situational. I have exs that I've kept decent or better contact with over time and exs that I don't really have any plans to ever talk/speak to again. It's a combination of the cause of the breakup, your mental states over time, your ability to 'get over' each other, and so forth.

There's no set answer, but yes it is dooable.

[Blue Lemonade]

err, me and my boyfriend of almost 3 years just broke up last night. it was a mutual and clean break up, but sudden. we both have strong feelings for each other, but there were reasons why we just couldn't make it work.

we said we'll be friends, I hope we'll be friends but it'll be so much harder to move on. arghh I don't know.. I know we'll try to make this friend thing work but part of me still thinks we want to do that so we don't let go completely. but at the same time I can't imagine cutting him out of my life. once you've been with someone for so long, you just can't imagine them not being a part of your life anymore, even just as friends.

my roommate's best friend is one of her ex (from her most serious relationship). she said it was super hard at first and she cried a lot but she said to her, all that was worth the friendship she has right now. so I guess it's possible? haha.