[sweet/nothing]

Ok so I`ve broken up with this guy but i`m just looking back onto everything thats happened.
So for the first couple of months of dating everything was pretty great except for a few here and theres but other than that nothing was too bad. But throughout the whole relationship of a year he has been majorly insensitive to me. Yes I know i`m a little chubby but I don`t really mind if you make fun of me for it once in a while because i know i`m not morbidly obese so i dont take too much offense to it. Its not just the fat jokes, sure he makes fun of some parts of me that i really am self conscious about but he just goes ìt was a joke, holy, stop acting like a 10yr old girl``.

He never compliments me btw, always have to point out my flaws, always points out the hot girls on the streets, comment on their gorgeous physique then go back to making fun of mine. I have told him about this many times and about how hes so insensitive that it makes me feel so insecure about myself that made me resort to doing stupid things. He always blames me for messing up the mood when we go out but maybe he should think about WHY the mood was ruined, not because of me but because of his insensitive comments and immature jokes.

So everytime i discuss his insensitivity with him he gets all defensive and says i`m at fault because i cant take a joke. I mean imo there a certain boundary you do not cross. Especially when your girlfriend had already mentioned to you that it offended and hurt her. Instead of saying ``oh ok i`ll try not to make as many jokes`or at least a ``sorry``. He goes ``hey if you want to be in a relationship with me you have to learn how to take jokes. I know a lot of girls who can take more jokes than you`` yeah thats a really great thing to do. compare me with all the other girls you know.

feel free to ask anything. I just wanted. comment if you`ll please.

ps. its not only fat jokes. its the constant dissing. calling me ugly, blah blah blah calling other girls hot. great..

pps. its not like a simple ``oh shes hot`` its like this ``oh damn check out that girls rack, its so nice. too bad your`s are so small`` ``oh look at those legs! too bad yours are so fat``

[milkygoodness]

hello! hm at the beginning whilst reading i had this positive attitude like yeah.. we can work this out.. LOL but oh no in this case.. i reckon your bf is being a real jerk to you he doesn't seem to treasure you obviously with his confidence-damaging 'jokes' hmm.. maybe he's a bit young with how he doesn't understand the female mind and doesn't seem to want to try =.= he should learn to see things from other perspectives other than his own, or simply learn to put himself in your shoes. honestly how would he like being dissed grr!

but chyeah i'm a lil chubby too haha hi5*! but my ex (went out for a year+) he would only joke about that when i initiated the joking myself haha and it was very light-hearted fun joking too.. the most he'd say was 'chubzilla!' which i actually found kinda cute LOL like a pet name but in your case.. he seems too harsh, and crosses over to the rude and offensive level of joking.. yes you're right lol.. he is a very insensitive bf.. ><

instead of being so defensive about it.. he could choose to see the cute side of you telling him off for these jokes, since because you're so hurt by it, it shows how much you like/love him, how important he is to you and how highly you regard his opinion of you which is so natural in a loving relationship.. and really.. no decent self-respecting girl would tolerate those kind of offensive 'jokes' from their bf no matter what he believes -.- so you're right to put your foot down sister! you go gal!

imo i think this aspect of him is very unhealthy for your own confidence, mind set and whatnot but maybe apart from this he is an awesome bf idk haha.. but this honestly has to change! he should learn to compromise.. i believe loving relationships are all about compromise.. aiyo he needs to learn that women need to feel loved! he should have told you that you're beautiful 999999+ times by now! or slight exxageration haha! if someone got told that that many times.. they'd get bigheaded but yeah ah D: i don't know what advice to give you apart from sympathizing with you.. hm.. i just don't think it'd be easy to change this about him.. because he needs to first understand that its hurtful and disrespectful to you in order to move on and try to change that.. instead he seems to think its fine and normal behaviour =..=

&&with the whole checking out girls thing while being out with you.. i think its normal to a degree LOL in my long relationship i just learned to join him and check them out too bwahah, i didn't mind too much as long as he didn't rant about them afterwards BUT.. comparing is definitely.. a nono. omgahh i typed such an essay haha.. but yuss. i feel for you girl! its up to you about what you wanna do.. whether the rest of him is worth it to have to tolerate this yucky aspect of him, whether you want to push for change or wutwut haha. i wish you the best of luck! <3 edit: okay i read your pps. and omgah. no!! even his level of openly checking out girls is ugh.. RAWRRRrrr lol ><

[HaplessChild]

If he really had a problem with your size he wouldn't have been dating you UNLESS you gained the weight after you two started dating, in which case you either need to learn to take a joke (because you're ok with how you are) or lose the weight. I don't mean this for his sake or any guy's sake but if you're self conscious about it you're obviously not ok with it. My bf makes fat jokes at me but I know it's completely in my power to do something about my weight if I choose to and since I've chosen (up until this point) not to do anything about it I had better be ready to roll with the resulting punches of my own sloth.

[Mannosuke]

Did you ask him out? Or did he ask you out?

``hey if you want to be in a relationship with me you have to learn how to take jokes. I know a lot of girls who can take more jokes than you``

lol, and then he got dumped. Awesome.

[hishari]

Why are you still with him????

[Lie]

Usually in these cases the guy either: a.) never really appreciated you, and so he wasn't worried about losing you if he treated you poorly, or b.) felt like he wasn't good enough to be with you, had a lot of insecurity, and was trying to bring you down to his level.

It's kind of the same reasoning for teasing in general.

[xo_sugar_ox]

you were good to break up with him. he sounds like an insecure jerk who can't even treat his own girlfriend right. never EVER get with or stay with someone who makes you feel like dirt! you should find someone who respects and appreciates you

[sweet/nothing]

If he really had a problem with your size he wouldn't have been dating you UNLESS you gained the weight after you two started dating, in which case you either need to learn to take a joke (because you're ok with how you are) or lose the weight. I don't mean this for his sake or any guy's sake but if you're self conscious about it you're obviously not ok with it. My bf makes fat jokes at me but I know it's completely in my power to do something about my weight if I choose to and since I've chosen (up until this point) not to do anything about it I had better be ready to roll with the resulting punches of my own sloth.

Oh i've always been the same size. i'm around 5'5 and 120lbs. sure my weight fluctuated a couple of times but it was only 5 pounds.

Did you ask him out? Or did he ask you out?



lol, and then he got dumped. Awesome.

oh he asked me out. in the beginning it was great, he was so cute and caring but once the honeymoon stage was over omg it was bad. real bad.

[Hazy]

Why are you still with him????

lol wtf the first sentence says she broke up with the guy. Stop spamming.



Anyway, your bf was definitely an insensitive bastard.

I know it's only natural for guys to check out other girls (and maybe comment out loud... which is a pretty good self-esteem wrecker to some girls. lol) but your bf went too far because you even tried to tell him that it was hurting you.

I guess it was kinda obvious that at that point, he didn't care about your feelings anymore which is why he totally deserved to get his sorry ass dumped cos he didn't deserve you. =)

[felinius]

Oh i've always been the same size. i'm around 5'5 and 120lbs. sure my weight fluctuated a couple of times but it was only 5 pounds.

It sounds like we have similar bodies!! Lol, 120 isn't chubby, it's usually once you pass 130lb that you get chubby (unless you're skinny fat ... sigh ...)

Anyways, I think it was good to dump him. If he never apologized and never complimented to kind of balance the teasing then he wouldn't have been worth it anyways.

[PRRRETTYGLiTTERRR]

what a d bag! seriously, your man should make you feel like the most beautiful woman on the earth even if your not! PLEASE do not go out with him ever again, you deserve soo much better!

[illumiinate]

Unfortunately... I know how you feel

I was "seeing" this guy for about two months and then dated him for one... whenever I look back on it I mentally beat myself up for even having CONSIDERED dating him and putting up with all his crap. But basically it's just like you said... I'm slightly chubby and he constantly teased me about it to the point where I told him to stop and he'd say "sorry" and a few days later the teasing would start up again. And at the time he was going to graduate and go off to college and he kept telling me that he'd find other hotter girls, then joked about dropping me in an instant if he met someone else.

And it makes me angry because I always told myself that I wouldn't date jerks and yet I was putting up with everything because I stupidly thought, "Oh, he's really not like that..." Then he tried to control what I wore and who I hung out with, and it was okay for him to get away with things but it wasn't okay for me. Like I wasn't allowed to hang out with my best guy friend but it was okay for him to be best friends with my sister and it's just like, "What the hell?"

Oh, and here's the best part... when I finally broke up he couldn't figure out why. Showed me that he was one insensitive jerk who only cared about himself. I'm beginning to think he liked putting me down at an attempt to ease his insecurities... bastard

[adiavoy]

What a jerk!! He must've really insecure of himself. You should have dumped him a lot sooner. If I were you I would've insulted him and see how he liked it.

[ChimDee]

He sounds like your A-class douchebag . Name-calling may seem trivial but that doesn't make it okay for him to demean you in any sort of way. Joke or no joke. I'd have kicked him where the sun don't shine ... And then some.

[sweet/nothing]

Unfortunately... I know how you feel

I was "seeing" this guy for about two months and then dated him for one... whenever I look back on it I mentally beat myself up for even having CONSIDERED dating him and putting up with all his crap. But basically it's just like you said... I'm slightly chubby and he constantly teased me about it to the point where I told him to stop and he'd say "sorry" and a few days later the teasing would start up again. And at the time he was going to graduate and go off to college and he kept telling me that he'd find other hotter girls, then joked about dropping me in an instant if he met someone else.

And it makes me angry because I always told myself that I wouldn't date jerks and yet I was putting up with everything because I stupidly thought, "Oh, he's really not like that..." Then he tried to control what I wore and who I hung out with, and it was okay for him to get away with things but it wasn't okay for me. Like I wasn't allowed to hang out with my best guy friend but it was okay for him to be best friends with my sister and it's just like, "What the hell?"

Oh, and here's the best part... when I finally broke up he couldn't figure out why. Showed me that he was one insensitive jerk who only cared about himself. I'm beginning to think he liked putting me down at an attempt to ease his insecurities... bastard

=O omg i think you were in the situation i was in. lol its sort of comforting to know someone was in the same boat as i. comforting in a "we're stupid for putting up with this crap" kind of way. But i know exactly what you mean. The first couple of times i met his friends i tried to dress up nice in like nice jeans, heels and a nice dressy ish top that's a v neck. i personally thought i looked good. but apparently his friends thought i dressed too slutty, and so did he. Everytime after that i'd wear a top i thought looked cute he'd go on and on about how his friends think "oh your girlfriend is such a slut for wearing that stuff, yeah i got to university with her and she seems really flirty with other guys too" ok for one, i did not know you went to the same school as i did until i met you through him and i've only talked to you once. Also, is it really considered flirty when you're just trying to be nice to everyone? No i dont think so. Do you want me to give you attitude and come off as a cold b*tch? No i do not. It just really angered me how he always lets his friends mislead opinions influence him so much. I mean make up your own mind. holy.

[illumiinate]

The first couple of times i met his friends i tried to dress up nice in like nice jeans, heels and a nice dressy ish top that's a v neck. i personally thought i looked good. but apparently his friends thought i dressed too slutty, and so did he. Everytime after that i'd wear a top i thought looked cute he'd go on and on about how his friends think "oh your girlfriend is such a slut for wearing that stuff, yeah i got to university with her and she seems really flirty with other guys too"

Seriously .___. Him and my sister used to gang up on me and accuse me of wearing revealing shirts. I mean, come on... v-necks and tank tops are hardly revealing. He accused me of wearing shirts that show off my chest and my sister instigated the whole problem when SHE wore the exact same clothes. Yeah, my chest is slightly bigger than other people my age that's why it probably looks different but when it all comes down to it—it's the exact same shirt

And he had the nerve to tell me that I'm too friendly with other guys. And yeah, I'm glad someone out there was going through the same thing xD Not in a bad way, but it's nice knowing that I'm not the only one :'D

Well, we learn from our mistakes and if I ever see that douche again I'll give him what he deserves

[xx_melody]

I'm sorry but your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. It sounds like he is getting too comfortable with you. He's disrespecting you and no one deserves that. You deserve so much better imo. Your boyfriend should tell you you're perfect, beautiful...not point out your flaws. It makes me so mad hearing about how insensitive your bf is. Tell him one last time. If he doesn't love you enough to stop then I'm sorry, he just isn't worth your time. You can find someone who really loves you for who you are. Stay strong! <3