[Miyurin]

[UPDATE]

Alright, well we broke up.
Thanks guys, for being so straight-forward and helpful!
I'm single again, oh boy. > u <

I've been with this guy for one month.
He's incredibly sweet and nice to me. We can talk very comfortably together and we mix well.
But the thing is...

He is so indecisive. I feel like I am in the dominant position of the relationship. And I hate being the dominant one who initiates things. It's come to a point where I become so frustrated!

I want him to be more initiative and bold. He is satisfied with our pace, but I am continuously irked by it.

I spoke to him about it, and every time he says that he'll try harder.
But then it isn't genuine or natural. Also, even after I tell him about my feelings, things still don't change. It isn't fair for him that he has to change to meet my expectations.
At the same time, this wasn't how I envisioned a relationship to be like. Nothing is happening naturally. I'm not in the process of falling in love... I am holding his hand and guiding him through it. This is not what I want at all.


Soompiers, what should I do?

[XangelXtranX]

then break up with him. the earlier the easier.

[adiavoy]

Go ahead.. it's only been one month so no hard feelings? You kind of seem annoyed with him. He'll probably find a girl elsewhere that clicks with him.

[peppermintsugar]

The whole point of dating is finding someone who is compatible with you. Someone who meets the needs that you require for a relationship. If your current boyfriend is not meeting these needs, then maybe you should try to find someone else.

[KimKTN]

Just end it.

it's only a month and you feel tired of mothering him already.. he's not what you are looking for.

[Mannosuke]

You want him to try harder, but then it's not genuine? wth?
He's genuinely trying harder.

[happyboy]

END IT

stop trying to change him

stop projecting expectations on him (you'll end up resenting him)

find someone new. attraction is one thing, but the actual relationship is an organic thing... you are compatible with some people and NOT compatible with others... people learn the hard way but not everyone is suitable to be in a relationship with everyone (same thing with physical chemistry)

the whole point of dating is finding the person right for you. if this dude isn't it end it sooner rather than later

[Honey.bee]

I see no more option then ending it there. Changing a person is definitely not easier than you think, plus. the more time you take, the harder it gets. Love can never last unless both of you are happy and satisfied.

[HaplessChild]

What exactly is you're trying to get him to do? Initiate what?

[Hard candy]

one month? thats too short to know anyone. give him more time if you can.

[Ayuu~]

if u dont like him for who he is then u dont like him
end it.

[brownman90561495]

sorry for the words, but i think if there's going to be dumping going to happen, should be HIM dumping you.

being undecisive, as you like to call it, is part of his character. who are you to change that? if there's anyone who has the right to change a person is himself/herself.

but right now there has been no dumping yet. and yea it already happened - you asked him about it and he said he will try harder. if you think his efforts would be NOT GENUINE / NOT NATURAL (which thus leads them to be FUTILE), what's genuine or natural to you? by not telling him and hoping he realizes what you want? so by telling him this (which already has happened), that already has defeated the purpose of having his efforts genuine / natural, thus before he even began trying harder, it's already futile.

and results and changes will happen overtime. not by overnight, not by a week.

[ladyb]

oh gosh i had the same problem except i got sucked into for like 2 years and trust me, if you're not happy now, you're not happy then. my ex would say the same thing "i'll try harder next time" and when that time came he wouldnt do shhhhhit. if you're feeling like this now, i doubt it'll work out.

[hannieoon]

Omg... I went through that. It sucked. LIke when I asked what we were doing he would answer "I don't know..." That pisses me off because that to me just seems like he was unprepared in planning something. I'm not saying that the guy has to plan everytime we hang out because that would be ridiculous. But if it's the first couple of weeks, at least try to impress me and not make me have to worry about what's going on.

Oh! And the guiding someone through a relationship.... ughh.... that's why they say that the best boyfriends are the ones who have dated before (or it could be the opposite way and them be total players haha). Anyways... you should break it off. I mean... you guys are dating and it's okay to break it off. That's what dating is for, right? To test the waters. Seems like you did and didn't like it. Time for the... "Let's break up" line. Good luck!

[Malice_Kaiser]

then break up with him. the earlier the easier.

I agree.


You know a relationship is worth sticking with if it feels natural. If you don't feel that way, then I think it's more than reason enough to break up.

[PRRRETTYGLiTTERRR]

If he doesn't take it seriously, then he's either not that into you or that's just something he can't change. Go with your intuition but make sure you don't regret that decision.

[sojuiicy]

I've been there done that, but have you thought that maybe it's because he wants to see how you'd reply? And for you to be happy? I mean if you're not happy then just end it and get it over with - no hard feelings. But if he's genuinely caring, then show him that you appreciate it and that give it some time. Rome wasn't built over night, and neither will his dominant side.

[Mishi-san]

Lol my bf is pretty indecisive, but I don't mind we plan/initiate things together then ._.

But hey if that doesn't float your boat then, dump him. But maybe hes letting you take the initiative right now because he wants to do what YOU do so your happy ( since its so early). And I do believe hes trying harder, but its not natural as you say it because its not HIM. If you don't like that about him then dump him -0-

Girls really don't like indecisive guys do they O.O I like not knowing what we have planned so its all a surprise rofl and could be a bad surprise all a good one but we still have fun =/

[Trunmy]

If you're unhappy in the relationship then just break up with him. Or you can be patient with him since you're only in a relationship with him for a month (not that long) and give him time

[sus]

a little hard work at the beginning and it will be better
if ur not into him
then dont waste u r efforts