This is going to be long... You have been warned. What this comes down to is: I'm having a problem, not choosing, per say, but rather balancing my time between my ex (who's a good friend)/friends and the guy I'm currently seeing.
So I dated my ex for almost five years and I broke it off with him cause I realized that I could no longer trust him and that I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with him. But I still had feelings for him, so even after I broke up with him, I couldn't get over him. He dated another girl for a little bit to spite me, but that ended after about a month. We lost contact for about 6 months, until we saw each other randomly and began talking again. For my birthday, we went out to dinner and ended up hooking up that night. We continued to hook up and those feelings that I had tried to bury began to resurface. I asked him about where we stood a couple months in and he replied that I was "his best friend", but he "wasn't looking for a girlfriend." And I was okay with that. So we continued hanging out with our mutual friends and occasionally hooking up. But the thing is, when we're alone together, he tries to act all couple-y (meaning he holds my hand and kisses me), but when we're with our friends he acts like we're just friends. At first that confused me too. We stopped hooking up about a month ago... Which is where the second story begins.
I randomly got into contact with my cousin (whom I hadn't seen/talked to in about 7 years) through Facebook. She messaged me asking if I was her cousin and I told her that I was and we met that night to catch up and talk. She asked if I had a boyfriend and I told her that I didn't and she said that she had someone she wanted to introduce me to. I asked who and she said it was her roomate's little brother, but he might be a little too old for me. I asked how old and she said there was a 7 year age gap between us, but because I act mature for my age, it might work. So that Saturday, which was the day of my ex's and my friend's birthday party (I didn't go), I went out to meet my cousin. I knew what my friends were going to do at the party (drink and smoke bud; and I don't smoke), so I didn't want to go. Anyway, I went out to dinner with my cousin and her roomate (the guy's older sister) and the roomate's little brother dropped in really quickly and left to go out with his friends. For me, it was love at first sight (haha). Maybe it was the fact that he was older, and in my opinion much more mature than my ex, but I knew that I would like him a lot (whether or not it was mutual). He left and my cousin asked me if I wanted to go clubbing (I'm underage, so she would have to use her "connections" to get me in). We decided to go and it ended up being the club that guy was at. He came into our room (drunk) and we started talking. He told me that when he first saw me, he thought that I was too young for him, but after talking to me, he could see that I was actually very mature for my age. We talked about what we wanted in the future and how he's going to the Marines in a month. Somehow it got to marriage and he told me that he was looking to settle down, which coincidentally, I'm looking to do in the somewhat near future. I've always wanted to get married early and have a big family and he shares that dream. Anyway, we danced and drank and at the end of the night he asked to see me the next day so we went to the movies and had dinner. He lives about 3 hours away, so I only get to see him on weekends (I don't have time on weekdays anyway, so it was okay). We've been seeing each other for about a month now.
So what does this have to do with my ex? Well, my ex and I hang out with our friends during the weekends because no one has time during the week. But these days, I've been hanging out with the other guy because he doesn't have much time before he has to leave. Basically, I've been getting crap from both sides. My ex/friends are getting mad because I haven't hung out with them for awhile, but its understandable. And on the other hand, this new guy says he doesn't care, but he brings up the fact that I'm still friends with my ex every chance he gets. It gets annoying, but I know its cause it bothers him. He keeps saying he doesn't understand how my ex and I can go from hooking up to being just friends that quickly, but for me its just that way. I still care for my ex, but definitely not in that way. This new guy is the guy I care about, but I don't know how to put his mind at ease.
So my question: How do I balance time between them? and How can I put my new guy's mind at ease? (Reassure him that he's the one that I want?)
Thanks!
