[mentholatum132]

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months now. Before me, he had a serious girlfriend, but they broke up after almost 2 years of dating. Currently, I'm 17, he's 18, and his ex is 16. I was super happy with him up until last friday, when I found out, from a source other than him, that he MAY have had sex with his ex. I was devastated, although a part of me knew that many people our age are no longer virgins. I'm too afraid to ask him, because I'm afraid of the answer. Before, I thought that I would be fine, dating someone that isn't a virgin. But now that it has occurred, I'm not too sure if I'm capable of looking past that. All the people that I've talked to about this has told me that I'm exaggerating and that I shouldn't mind about whether he is a virgin or not.

I saw him yesterday. It was really awkward and I couldn't bring myself to touch him or be near him. We were in a group of friends, so I just hung out with the girls. I could tell that he was angry at me, because he kept trying to be near me, but I just ignored him. He called me later that night when I was asleep, but I was really tired, so we only talked for a couple minutes. But even though that phone call was short, we barely had anything to say to each other. But today, I felt really distant from him and I really missed him and wanted to talk to him. I know I won't break up with him because of this, but I really need a way to GET OVER it or just accept the fact that he's already had his first time with someone.

Help, please? :l

[peppermintsugar]

They dated for two years, I would pretty much have assumed that they were sexually intimate.
Personally, I don't find anything wrong with my boyfriends not being virgins, in fact, I prefer if they aren't. The first person you become sexually active with makes you crazy. Let's be honest. A lot of the time, people become irrationally emotionally attached to that first person, and I would really prefer if I weren't the one having to deal with it.

Relationships, sex, and everything else in the world take practice, so chances are the first time isn't gonna go very well. If I were you, I'd be glad it wasn't me.

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

It's a bit more understandable if they've been together for 2 years. I'd be more insecure if they were only together for a month and then did it.

Sit down and talk to him about it. Ignoring him isn't going to solve anything; it'll just make your relationship more distant and he'll just get even more mad at you.

[brownman90561495]

if they indeed had sex before, you can never take that away from him. i don't think it's really a good thing to let your relationship be based on that, unless you're a purist.

[HaplessChild]

The question you need to ask yourself is "so they had sex, so what?"

[Mr. Chan]

but I really need a way to GET OVER it or just accept the fact that he's already had his first time with someone.

Get over your insecurity.

[ladyb]

my friend had the SAME exact problem. he lost his virginity to his recent ex and my friend's not a virgin. and she knew she wasn't going to give him her virginity anytime soon. and they talked about it and he understood that she wasn't going to give it to him and he told her he doesnt even expect him. so talk to him if its bugging you that much. and even if he did lose his virginity, that was his own thing. and if he's expecting you to do it with him, then you totally got the wrong guy. plus my friend has been with her bf for like almost a year now =) and she's still a virgin and he hasn't cheated on her for sex.

[hannieoon]

Hmm... sex is a tricky question especially in a relationship that's newly starting.

Anyways... I agree with the fact that it's understandable if they had sex. They've been dating for two years. It's not like he had a one night stand, which in my opinion is worse. But you don't know if they did have it or not. You need to talk to him about it if it bugs you. Once it gets out of the way, you'll feel better.

But it shouldn't bother you or make you feel insecure. He's with you now and that's what counts, right? What's past is in the past. Don't question it.

[joongielove]

No offense to you, but I'd be a little surprised if he hadn't done anything. Obviously, when you're in a relationship with someone, you have chemistry. That means that you're attracted to them. Whether it be mentally, physically, intellectually, in the end, you are. If after 2 years of being together, and the chemistry being there, and they haven't done anything?

You asked how to deal. Just accept the fact that he's no longer a virgin. You can't expect to be his first love, the one he shared everything with, but why bother? You're the one with him now, not her. Be happy about that, and don't let the fact that he lost his virginity to a girl he loved (if it was a one night stand I'd sympathize more.) affect YOUR relationship with him. She's already out of the picture.

G'luck.

[jaeka]

Not every guy you gonna meet is virgin. D; especially at your age! guys wouldnt be suprised and all le gasp! D: if you weren't a virgin, either. it's really common these days. (I could understand if you were younger...)
But yeah just get over it. Dx Show him a good time between the covers and you've nothing to worry about ;D

[joxxy]

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months now. Before me, he had a serious girlfriend, but they broke up after almost 2 years of dating. Currently, I'm 17, he's 18, and his ex is 16. I was super happy with him up until last friday, when I found out, from a source other than him, that he MAY have had sex with his ex. I was devastated, although a part of me knew that many people our age are no longer virgins. I'm too afraid to ask him, because I'm afraid of the answer. Before, I thought that I would be fine, dating someone that isn't a virgin. But now that it has occurred, I'm not too sure if I'm capable of looking past that. All the people that I've talked to about this has told me that I'm exaggerating and that I shouldn't mind about whether he is a virgin or not.

I saw him yesterday. It was really awkward and I couldn't bring myself to touch him or be near him. We were in a group of friends, so I just hung out with the girls. I could tell that he was angry at me, because he kept trying to be near me, but I just ignored him. He called me later that night when I was asleep, but I was really tired, so we only talked for a couple minutes. But even though that phone call was short, we barely had anything to say to each other. But today, I felt really distant from him and I really missed him and wanted to talk to him. I know I won't break up with him because of this, but I really need a way to GET OVER it or just accept the fact that he's already had his first time with someone.

Help, please? :l

Like many other replies have said, it's not unusual for him to have had sex with his ex since they were together for 2 years - it'd be more unusual if he didn't have sex with her. As you grow up, you're going to encounter more and more people that aren't virgins. If you aren't comfortable with sexual intercourse yet, that's completely fine because it's your personal choice. But if your boyfriend already lost it to someone he really cared about, that was his choice and it's understandable if you're weirded out about it but it's not something to be angry at him over. And think of it this way - if he's already done it, it'll probably lessen the awkwardness if you guys ever choose to have sex. Just try to accept it because a lot of people lose their virginity at a young age. Good luck.

[forgottenmemories]

You just have to accept the fact that he's not a virgin. If you can't accept it, how are you gonna go on being with him? I think you just need to get over your insecurity. I find it shocking that you don't think he hasn't done anything with his ex, expecially since they've been together for 2 years.
My boyfriend, who dated his ex for 4 years prior to dating me, isn't a virgin either. I didn't find it a shock at all when he told me. But unlike your situation, my boyfriend straight up told me he wasn't a virgin even before we started dating. If you're really curious, then ask him. Don't let your awkwardness ruin your relationship. Good luck.

[PRRRETTYGLiTTERRR]

Doesn't seem to be a big deal, as long as he doesn't have sex with his ex while dating you...

[Yunho<3]

To be honst,they dated 2 years,so that must be no problem.
On the other side,they dated 2 years and she's 16.
So she must be 14-15 when she have sex with him.
I still feel weird though.
Yeah,he 18.I would totally be understandable though if he's no longer a virgin.

[sus]

i think it would be sorta like a shock for u cos ur a virgin
but honestli theres nothing to worried bout
i think its just ur insecurites and ur scared of the unknown?

but yea all u need to do is get ur feelings at ease by talkin to him
ok .. so go talk to him

[brownman90561495]

Doesn't seem to be a big deal, as long as he doesn't have sex with his ex while dating you...

yep. this too.