[quyennypoo]

I have WEIRD problem...
Me and my current boyfriend have recently made love for the first time in our relationship together and it was all good. The other day he calls me and starts interrogating me about my previous sexual experiences...he was really uneasy and hesitant to get to the point which made me naturally anxious and worried. I asked him what it was about and he in so many words told me that he felt uncomfortable with me giving him blowjobs, he said i happened to know exactly what to do and it made him see me in a different light and slightly uncomfortable. He said that he associates oral as something dirty and whorish and never wanted to see me or associate me with that kind of negative image...he said that he can only image me doing this to other guys but i reassured him and told him that i had only ever had sexual relations with men i had relationships with and that im not the type to sleep around.

BUT it bothered me because it bothers him so much, i can't say that i get where he's coming from and now when we make love im going to be so conscientious that he thinks of me in that light. its like we both have sexual histories and i don't want to feel bad for doing something i feel is completely normal. i don't see the problem because when you care about someone you want to be able to please them sexually and my act to him is a sign of appreciation for him making me feel good too.

i mean to the girls- im asking am i being uncompromising and not understanding towards his feeling?
to the guys- to shed some light on this weird issue.

[x-rays-r-b-yu-t-ful]

When a male falls for a female, he thinks of her as 'pure'. Innocent and inexperienced in sex.

When he finds her doing things with incredible expertise.. he realizes something.. she is quite experienced in this.

And with most people, we're uncomfortable with our partner's sexual history and experiences. It brings up feelings of deception, meeting a different person from who we first met and fell for, questions of what kind of character they are, etc.

Strange how I was thinking just the other day, I'd refuse to advise anyone on how to give bjs because their bf would probably prefer them to be clumsy at it.

[junkers]

I think youre dating a little kid lol. That retard needs to get over with this. Hes naive and immature and I can see this relationship is heading for an epic fail lmao.....

[witchery]

Oh sheesh. He should be grateful that you do it so well. Instead of complaining about it?

Maybe you should've said you learnt it from porn or something. Not because you've had so much practice...

[happyboy]

As a girl there's basically 2 ways to handle questions from an insecure boyfriend about past sexual experiences:

a ) refuse to discuss it (because what's important is the relationship between you 2 not the past)
b ) LIE LIE LIE (wow your other boyfriends weren't big like him, no you've never done tried this before, you've never been able to XXX like this with anyone else etc)

Seriously, why is he asking you all this stuff if he cant handle it, and what are you doing making an insecure guy feel even more inadequate. In truth, this little tantrum is really not about the BJ or your negative image, he feels inadequate, insecure and threatened by the men in your sexual history.

I actually agree with the person above who posted EPIC FAIL for the relationship. but if you want to try to fix when you talk to your BF you need to contextualize it to where your entire sexual past was fail and cannot even compare to him. The best would be if you gave the impression almost like you had been tricked by these other guys and you regret having done anything beyond building a little concrete wall around your woohoo at age 16 and saving yourself for him.

Retarded right? Sorry. Guys are retarded. No guy wants to think about his GF with other guys and even being too honest is TOO MUCH for some guys.

Of course there are guys who couldn't care less and believe that any past experience will only prove farther how much more awesome they are than other guys but those sort of dudes aren't the type to grill their girlfriends in the first place and then hold it against them. Your dude needs to grow up... if he freaks out this much because you've actually had a past, I cant imagine how into how many pieces his head will explode (and all the judgments he'll make) when he figures out that you LIKE giving head

Even if the relationship doesn't fail I cant see how the sex isn't FAIL with all these restrictions and guilt

[Poop-Shoop-A-Loop]

Please the read the rules. Sex topics are not allowed in L&R under any circumstances.