[nKyo]

My situation
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and I'm having the hardest time getting through it and over it. It was a 2 year relationship and to me she was the one. I'm a uni student but I've pretty much failed because I've been unable to focus on doing anything productive. I have sleepless nights and when I do sleep everytime I wake up I feel completely broken that I'm waking up feeling empty. It has been 3 months of struggling day and night trying to just forget but I'm still unable to wake up to reality. I've tried so many things to just keep myself going, keeping my mind on other things but at the end of everyweek I just feel like I can't go on. I've talked to friends and I've had the best advice from them but I fear that they are unable to help because afterall it is I who must pick myself up and decide what to do. Something in me just doesn't work when I decide I want to cheer up, I just end up feeling all sad about it. By occupying myself with other things and friends has only really brought me a temporary feeling of happiness. Majority of days I am a sad person and I'm finding it harder to cope as the days go by. I just feel so empty and feel so alone that I hate waking up to the next day and going through the whole process.

Anyway my questions are: has anyone or is anyone feeling this way? the feeling of being alone and empty? and
If you knew someone who was going through this what would you say to them?

Update
I thank those who have read and those who have answered my questions, I appreciate the effort. The reason I believe I feel so miserable is because I have completely lost all purpose to why I should be here. When I was with her my dreams became intertwined with hers, my will and strengh were driven by her existence in my life. I now have no goals and I don't look at life as something to live for. I've been optimistic and had fun but my heart still holds the residual feeling and with that I'm always brought back to the same feeling of feeling empty and alone. I did attempt to become close to another female friend but with her reply I knew that it wouldn't workout. In my current state I don't think I'm able to approach anyone let alone be approachable. Love being the healing factor would be something I want but is it really something I have to have to get past this sad state? If it were then the only love I could get is the love from my ex as she is the only person who has ever loved me. With that said in my set mind I believe she is the one who could bring me around. I have talked to her to just talk but it seems that she cares and doesn't care. Knowing this I know my hope still rests with her. I question, is this me not letting go or is this me actually wanting help from someone who I can open all doors to my heart to?

[rynhanna]

Hi nKyo,

What you went through is truly hard to bear. The feeling of being alone and left behind is awful. And, you are totally right about being up again is totally your decision to make and follow. Others can offer you words of concern and advice, still, it's you who have to stand and fight.

Love comes and goes, you can't just ruin yourself because of others. There are people who lost their love ones in terrible ways, but still have to stand to face the life. The bitter love that ended actually toughen you even better.

Be sad as you must, cry a river if you want, but the right to live and breath is in your hands not in others. Sculpt your life beautifully or horribly but at the end you are the one who going to live your life. So choose wisely.

As for me, there were days I just don't want to open my eyes and walk my life. Being alone is terrible but for me alone meaning more freedom. There are always lesson and experience in every event that happens in our life.

[HaplessChild]

My situation
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and I'm having the hardest time getting through it and over it. It was a 2 year relationship and to me she was the one. I'm a uni student but I've pretty much failed because I've been unable to focus on doing anything productive. I have sleepless nights and when I do sleep everytime I wake up I feel completely broken that I'm waking up feeling empty. It has been 3 months of struggling day and night trying to just forget but I'm still unable to wake up to reality. I've tried so many things to just keep myself going, keeping my mind on other things but at the end of everyweek I just feel like I can't go on. I've talked to friends and I've had the best advice from them but I fear that they are unable to help because afterall it is I who must pick myself up and decide what to do. Something in me just doesn't work when I decide I want to cheer up, I just end up feeling all sad about it. By occupying myself with other things and friends has only really brought me a temporary feeling of happiness. Majority of days I am a sad person and I'm finding it harder to cope as the days go by. I just feel so empty and feel so alone that I hate waking up to the next day and going through the whole process.

Anyway my questions are: has anyone or is anyone feeling this way? the feeling of being alone and empty? and
If you knew someone who was going through this what would you say to them?

Move across the country and meet a new girl. That's what my ex did and it seems to have worked for him. I can tell there's still a sore spot there but he's living now.

[donporkuloin]

I'm sort of in your shoes now. Except my ex and I dated for 3 months. After our 2nd date I put a lot of trust in her. I had a dream of being with her before we met. During our relationship she did a great job of duping me into believing we had a future together. Like a dummy I fell for it. December 23 she broke up with me via text. She told me she was pregnant by another guy. The guy left her weeks later.

Since then I did try to make the effort to move past it. But I've had sleepless nights. I've woke up in tears a lot. People around me tell me it's not my fault, but part of me feels like it is. We tried maintaining a friendship, but it did not work out. We got into some big arguments. I hate how she pushed me away. To this day I love her after what she put me through. I've made the effort to meet new people, but I keep meeting females that lie, gold diggerish, and try to be manipulative. I went out on a date the other night, and I was thinking about my ex somewhat. I had a hard time focusing on the date. Point being is you'll know when the time is right to meet new people.

[rachilde]

Sounds like you have all the signs of clinical depression; I suggest a therapist--at the very least, medical attention can be written into your transcript to create some justification/excuse for your poor academic performance in case you will want to pursue graduate or professional education after undergrad. Seriously. Put in some safeguards for when you recover so that you don't find out that you've made irreversible mistakes for which you have few official and documented explanations for.

As for the actual emotional aspect: everyone is different and I'm sure your friends have gone through the regime of advice that you could procure here. I personally got to enjoy being alone. I utilized the time to focus on myself and read books and listen to music and watch movies and do all the things I always loved doing. Sometimes I just get new lovers. Or vacation out of the country. Or just laugh and drink with friends. But then, I'm extremely prone to looking on the bright side. I don't have ideals like 'the one.' I'm easily appeased and satisfied with the life I'm living. After all, smiles cost nothing--so why not smile?

[Mr. Chan]

I've went through this months ago.

[Sephiroth]

You are not alone. The only medication for a broken heart, is ironically, love. My advice to you, go out and try to find someone else. You will not 100% get over her or the situation until you have someone else to focus on - truth.

[XangelXtranX]

I've went through this months ago.

Mr. Chan always leave behind short reply. Hmm one random question are you from Texas ?

PS. Sorry I feel empty and lonely but not cuz i went through a break up its cuz I havent been through a break up .
Talk about that person with someone else help a lot . So I suggest you to find a friend like a girl friend a close girl friend and often bring up old memories of your ex. o.o Just make sure she is not falling for you and such cuz thats just .... you don't want that to happen.
I'm not sure what to do If my guy friend is like this I would spent time with him , like take walk and let him talk about it if that will make him feel better. Go outside and participate in stuff, volunteer dont just sit there and feel miserable. These things suppose to happen and you will move one someday.

my bad grammar im terrible at grammar -.-

[Mr. Chan]

Mr. Chan always leave behind short reply. Hmm one random question are you from Texas ?

No, I'm not from Texas. As a matter of fact, I resent that state.

[sumoberrylu]

wow this sounds extremely hard to bear.

i think the only advice i can give you is no matter how hard it is, you know that you still have some sort of purpose in life. you just have to move on and have to try to work as hard as possible and be as happy as possible. whether or not you and her get back together in the future or you find another girl, you still need to move on and do the things you have to do for her or for someone else. please don't throw your life away..it's painful for readers to hear you say that..

at painful times like these, i find religion helpful. not sure if you're religious or want to be..

[Aiyla.-]

OMG your totally making me cry cause....Im in a similar situation, only we didnt broke up..yet. Its like your sent from heaven. I feel like Im not alone, cause there is someone who feels like me. While I was reading your message, I was like..Oh my god, everything you describe im feeling too. I hope your gonna be ok, dont worry too much. What I do to make the empty feeling go away after waking up is: listening to music. Cry, just cry it all out. Its ok. Try to get it out, i know its hard to take the steps. I wish my love had your mind. You seem to be loyal to her, even after you two broke up. ....Is it she really doesnt want to be with u anymore?

Your going through a rough situation, I wish you all the best..

[rukawa-kun]

Going through this right now and it's been half a month for me and I still wake up thinking and having to remind myself that we're not going to meet up today and that I have to build up some self-esteem for today so I read up on some notes that I sort of prepare for myself every morning to try and get my mood up and to keep busy!!

I still find it a bit hard though when I take unexpected naps and wake up really upset. It's just something you have to ease your way out of and not an immediate thing and to accept the facts "logically" rather than facing them with "emotions". Those were the key words that we used to get over the relationship, and she pretty much decided everything logically and to hurt each other as least as possible, even tho I tell her that I still miss her and still care about her. Logically, it was just a waste of time... Move On.