Listen to the Chinese Doctor, HE knows what he's talking about...

Listen to the Chinese Doctor, HE knows what he's talking about... `Guaranteed to make you LOL`

#1 KristyS

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Post icon Posted 29 September 2009 - 07:30 PM

This is an interview with a doctor that recently moved to the US from China.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION.....

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love this man's answer xD
My friends and I were chatting on Skype, then one of them posted this.

#2 Mjackson

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 07:35 PM

LOL,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

#3 bonbons

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 08:43 PM

hahahaaaa that was funny .

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#4 adaytodiefor

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 08:43 PM

Haha.
Lol.
I like the swimming part.

#5 x0_saturn_0x

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 09:06 PM

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

LOL I like this one

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#6 strawberry_hit

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 09:45 PM

OMG...hahaha totally bring every upside down.

#7 twix0rz

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 09:49 PM

Lol i love this!!! Hahahaha. Thanks for sharing.

#8 frog

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 09:55 PM

Is this a real interview?

Once in a lifetime, please be happy!

#9 violacrazy

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 09:56 PM

thanks... I smiled and laughed in my heart.

音樂就是最好的語言

#10 KristyS

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (frog @ Sep 30 2009, 12:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Is this a real interview?

Yea, I think this is real lol

I love that swimming part too... ironic because I'm in the swim team xD

#11 junchan

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 12:47 AM

hahahahaha
XDDDDDDD
it makes me ROFL
XD

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reading: ♫\\●\\♪\\♫\\●\\♫\\♪\\♥\\♫\\●\\♪\\♥.

ugh...and i'm in love with this one
↓↓

#12 crystal_moonlite

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:07 PM

hahahahahaa. I love the conclusion.
and the chocolate answer

great laugh for the day

#13 forgottenseason

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:09 PM

HAHAHAAH that was funny XD

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

my favourite answer XD

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#14 babiloveyoo

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:17 PM

Hahah that made me laugh XD.

#15 &. crepuscular

your average korean fangirl

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 05:50 PM

QUOTE

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION.....

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

epic win

"everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love,
a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
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#16 mystified

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 06:28 PM

QUOTE (KristyS @ Sep 29 2009, 10:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

CONCLUSION.....

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

^ i guess this is y the doctor shouldn't bother learning english
rofl omg i loved this part xD. i liked the rest of it too. it completely made my day =)
but i'm sure this can't be a real interview... can it?
thanks for sharing

#17 Nana544

:):):)

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 10:58 PM

QUOTE

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

My two favorites. It's funny to me.

Live, eat, and love with Peace.