[JunsuLove]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year [Sept. 22] and lately he's been acting kind of distant from me.. He's not very affectionate towards me anymore, for example, we would always kiss each other good morning/good night or hold hands when we're walking anywhere.. but he doesn't do that anymore, it's so awkward to hold his hand nowadays and it just doesn't feel the same, like it feels like he forces himself to hold hands with me.

I know, I seem stalker-ish, but I checked his messages on Facebook [don't yell xD] because I was suspicious that he could possibly like another girl because of his distancing from me, and he's been messaging this girl [who he liked a few years ago] and they were discussing their school project and such.. but then I read further along and he starts to say "I like it that I can talk to you about things.." and "I can't wait to see you tomorrow!"

And then he hasn't been staying with me as long anymore. He usually leaves my house at about midnight or later, but now he's been leaving at like 10:30pm. There's hardly any time where we can spend alone, just the two of us.. it's always with my brothers or his friends.. which doesn't allow us to be intimate or anything..

I've brought it up to him, about how he hasn't been as close and such, and he says that it's nothing, it's all stress with school/work.. I understand that, but how is it that when given the chance to spend with me, he doesn't take it? For example, he was doing homework, and I said we could do our homework in my room because it's quiet and away from my brothers who were playing games, but he said he'll do his homework downstairs and then when he's going to leave, he'll come upstairs and say goodnight... What...??? Or when I suggest we do our homework and spend the rest of the time alone, he says he wants to play games, do his homework and then he'll see how much "time" he has left..

I don't know, am I overreacting? I don't know what to do.. really T_T It's tearing me apart.

[Mr. Chan]

Perhaps you're thinking about it too much.

[rurutia]

Well it seems to me that he might have some feelings for that girl. What you should do is give him some space for a while (be a little distant) and see if he reacts any differently. If he's the same, chances are he might of lost interest in you =(. Hope I helped XD

[MNLV27]

Based on just what you wrote, seems like he's losing interest in the relationship.
Maybe he has something for that other girl? Why would he say, I can't wait to see you until tomorrow? That's like a sign that he has feelings for her. Like come on, the only time when you really can't wait to see someone the next day is mostly because you like them. Unless, she's going to show him something important. lol. I don't know.

Well, just bring it up with him again. Even bring up the fb comments you saw. If he can't give you legit reasons to it then there's something fishy about him and if he makes you feel guilty for snooping around his fb or whatever and becomes defensive, there's something fishy about it too.

[Emiso]

I know you're insecure about the relationship but going through his FB was not the right thing to do. There should be other signs that he's losing interest or he's not a faithful person, but just from that FB message I don't think you should conclude that he likes her. You have to trust your boyfriend, if you don't you can't have a strong relationship.

With that being said, maybe he actually is stressed out about school. Maybe try distancing yourself more and see if he comes to you. Preoccupy yourself and make yourself seem busy rather than always being there for him and see what happens from then on.

And maybe you guys are just past the honeymoon stage? Either way, I think distancing yourself and giving him a little more space will allow your answers to be questioned since we don't have that much background information on your boyfriend.

[JunsuLove]

Perhaps you're thinking about it too much.

I don't know I feel like I am but then it just bothers me so much, you know? I've been trying to act "distant," I guess, lol.
I don't feel comfortable bringing it up, it makes me feel so nosy, but it's like, I can't help it.. I thought I could reassure myself that there wasn't any thing going on but it ended up only making my suspicions more true-er?

Thanks everyone for the advice.. uggghh, this is so frustrating T_T

[Daylightful]

Well it seems to me that he might have some feelings for that girl. What you should do is give him some space for a while (be a little distant) and see if he reacts any differently. If he's the same, chances are he might of lost interest in you =(. Hope I helped XD

I agree with this. Absence makes the heart grows fonder. You should also try and be distance and HOPEFULLY he'll try and contact you more or miss you more! Thinking, "Why isn't she calling me?" "Why isn't she waiting for me?" Making him take the initiative. If he does take it then that means he still misses you, wants your company, etc. If not then there is probably a chance he has lost interest.. but it happens sometimes-- but let's stay positive and hopefully that isn't the case!! It was a good idea that you try and talk to him.. I hope things work out for you two!!

[JunsuLove]

Well it seems to me that he might have some feelings for that girl. What you should do is give him some space for a while (be a little distant) and see if he reacts any differently. If he's the same, chances are he might of lost interest in you =(. Hope I helped XD

I actually thought about doing that, T_T. It kind of sucks because we're both clingy, or at least he used to be, I kind of still am. Right now, I'm trying not to be so clingy and I've kind of just blown him off every now and then.. When he tried to kiss me, I would try to dodge it by doing something else or whatnot.. It hurts that it's come down for me to do this, you know? He's actually behind me doing his homework right now and we haven't spoken except for him saying "What'd you get at the store?" and I just replied "stuff.." and that was the end of that..

[c[:]

People always doubt their intuitions, but most of the time, their intuition is right. Maybe he does have feelings for the girl. He may have lost interest in the relationship. (knock on wood cuhs I don't want that to be the case). If it is time for a break up, it should be soon so that both of you don't hurt each other anymore. Breaking up now is better than being cheated on or being in a meaningless relationship where you feel awkward all the time. It takes two people to fix a problem and be in a relationship. If he can't do his part, then you shouldn't wait for him to get it righhhht.

good luck!

[bonjour tristesse.]

Talk it out with him first before you do anything ; have a serious heart - heart talk with him. If nothing works out .. just remember that there's always something better out there.

[chocolate*]

I actually thought about doing that, T_T. It kind of sucks because we're both clingy, or at least he used to be, I kind of still am. Right now, I'm trying not to be so clingy and I've kind of just blown him off every now and then.. When he tried to kiss me, I would try to dodge it by doing something else or whatnot.. It hurts that it's come down for me to do this, you know? He's actually behind me doing his homework right now and we haven't spoken except for him saying "What'd you get at the store?" and I just replied "stuff.." and that was the end of that..

Umm.. I think blowing him off every so often and dodging his kisses is not the way to be less clingy. That might even make things worse.

Maybe you should try giving each other space as in when you have free time, you don't have to hang out with each other. You don't have to go to each others' houses to do homework together all the time. When you have a free night, go out with your other friends - your boyfriend doesn't have to be there. You wouldn't want spending time with your s/o to feel like an obligation.. you should enjoy the time you spend together.

[Poop-Shoop-A-Loop]

Well, just bring it up with him again. Even bring up the fb comments you saw. If he can't give you legit reasons to it then there's something fishy about him and if he makes you feel guilty for snooping around his fb or whatever and becomes defensive, there's something fishy about it too.

I suggest you not do that 'cause he will probably go berserk on you (whether or not he's guilty of liking her) for invading his privacy and it'll just strain your relationship more.

[Mr. Chan]

You should ask yourself this, "What would Mr. Chan do?"

[<3 Kim]

Well it is normal for relationships to not be as affectionate as much as at the beginning. About after a year when I was with my bf things were kind of the same, we didn't talk to eachother much anymore, don't hang out as much as we used to but when we do we make the most of it. I used to feel the same way as you, that he lost interest. But then after about 2 years I kind of started doing the same thing (not trying to talk to him as much anymore/not seeing him as much anymore). Things have been still going fine, just that we don't talk/see eachother as much anymore so I guess just try give him some space?

[JASON;]

it's pretty obvious he's not interested in this relationship much anymore.
he's interested in the other girl.
time to give it up