[mentalfiction]

So I have this friend, or well she used to be a friend. Lets call her K. Now K and I were never amaaaazing friends, we were good friends though. Now the problem with K is that she's always cutting herself (in the most DISGUSTING ways possible believe me. she has cuts across her stomach/thighs, and god knows where else), and she's always FAKE cheery, which is very annoying. And a lot of the times, she'd come near me and start swearing about how crappy life is (now the thing is, she's kind of swearing 'to herself' but she always makes it a point to make it KNOWN to someone), so whenever I ask her what the problem is, she'd just smile and say "never mind"
Maybe you guys don't know how amazingly IRRITATING that is, but it is VERYYY irritating.

Now lately, she's been kind of hating on me, I dunno whyy. Two examples of what she did:
- My other friend, lets call her H, is talking to K, and K notices a bracelet H is wearing (that I gave H for her birthday) and says "that's really pretty", and H is like "thanks, [me, mentalfiction lol] gave it to me" and K's face just changed and she said, "oh, i guess i dont like it much now"
- Well, so I was thinking of taking up Biology again, and K takes Biology. So K comes up to my OTHER friend [L] and says "Is [my name] taking Biology?" and L just replies "oh no she decided against it" and K just sighs in relief and goes "thank god."

WHAT? I haven't even DONE anything to her. And honestly, I am so sick and tired of her "attention-seeking ways", I can't even bring myself to feel sympathetic towards her anymore. (There is one possible reason why she could be doing this, it's a bit long and kind of unrelated to her, but if you guys wanna know just tell me (= )
So seriously, what should I do about this? Should I go and confront her? I really don't want to pick a fight but I know she'll have something to say, either that or she'll just walk away saying "forget it" or "never mind"

Oh and sorry if this is long

[b0ra]

Hmm, interesting. What makes you think she could be doing this?

And anyway, I don't see any way you can really rectify this situation. If you find her annoying, chances are, you aren't the only one. Maybe she has a problem with you because you can obviously call her BS. She probably doesn't like that she can't fool you with her immature attention seeking methods.

Just stop being friends with her. If I were you, I wouldn't even give her the time of day.

[Lie]

I would just avoid her when possible. Be cordial, but you don't have to go out of your way to be nice to her if she's not willing to do the same with you. I've dealt with friends before who were incredibly fickle (they're best friends with someone one day, and the next they find them annoying and want nothing to do with them anymore), and to me the best method for dealing with them is just to stop allowing them to be a part of your life. Which can be difficult if they're at your school, or place of work, but in that sort of circumstance, as I said, just be cordial to them when you have no choice but to be around them, and avoid them when you don't. No reason to be confrontational though, that only ordinarily makes things worse.

[Dekay]

Well since she's someone you consider a friend why not try helping by understanding that she has serious issues? I mean she cuts herself and she's pessimistic about life, sounds like depression to me and and fighting her is definitely not the right thing to do. What she need is help and support, I mean that's what friends are for right?

[hopelessxdreamer]

I had a friend like her. Well almost. She was selfish, fake, and would do the most dramatic thing to seek attention.
It was always about her life, her problems, and her troubles. She couldn't understand that her sufferings are nothing.
She would follow my friends and I because most people didn't like her. We finally told her off but now she's just trying to go with these other group of people. We were used. But then who cares, she was never worth it.
I think you should just ignore her. Honestly what's the point of being friends with her? Who cares if she's angry or if she's acting all pinkberryy towards you.
If you don't like her, then you don't. Trust me she's not worth it. If you really do consider her as a friend, then
go try to help her. But if not then leave her alone. Okay but if she really considers suiciding then you better tell someone.

[_dax_]

Open your mind a bit. Not everyone has an easy life outside of school.
I don't see why as a friend, or even as a fellow classmate, or an observer, you are not mentioning this to a school counselor. Just because something does not directly affect you, does not mean you should not involve yourself, nor does it mean that you should not care. It seems she is showing some signs of possible depression, and perhaps not handling stress well. Her mutilation is what concerns me. There has to be a reason, but I don't expect you to drill her with questions. That's what a counselor is for. To keep a watchful eye on her, and perhaps inform her parents. Who knows she may accidentally cut herself too deep one day. Aside from her mutilation and sad outlook, the bracelet incident is just normal jealousy. I don't see why this should bother you. Many with depression tend to alienate those who they know are close to them, or have been close to them in the past. Not that it is on purpose, but it can be of relief to some knowing they wouldn't have to see a familiar face, with pressures to live up to a certain expectation. I wouldn't directly confront her without first informing a counselor. If you must, you could try to arrange a chat in a coffee shop or something of the like, keeping the tone professional in a setting which I hope would not lead to any fighting. Obviously goes to show who your real friends are.

[YoMi~]

She cuts herself? does she tell you about all this stuff?

I'd personally not go near her, or anyone who cuts themselves. It's repulsive.

[iHeartmyGD]

I use to cut myself. It's a disease, she needs psychiatric help. It sounds like to me you need to show her how horrible other peoples lives are, there's starving children, homeless people with no family, girls that get rapes by their fathers, Mothers who do crack and ignore their children, Etc..

[damyoungji]

Considering how she is an attention seeker and pretends to be someone who she isn't, I wouldn't be surprised that she is suddenly hating on you and showing it to everyone for more attention. She is merely one of those who wants help, but rather than getting it, she complains about it so that others will pay attention to her.

Forget about her. If anyone asks you what is wrong between the two of you, tell them that you have no clue (which is true). It's her own problem and if she wants to make herself look like a fool in order to gain attention, then let her.

[mentalfiction]

Thanks for the help, guys! ^-^
For those of you saying that I should help her with her problems and all...I've been asking her for the past 3 years to tell me what the problem is, but she never does. I've told couselors/teachers, whoever that I think can help, and everyone just dumbs it down to one thing: she's seeking attention.

Well, the thing is, she talks to me and all, not in a rude manner, just how friends talk, but she says all this crap to my other friends.

I use to cut myself. It's a disease, she needs psychiatric help. It sounds like to me you need to show her how horrible other peoples lives are, there's starving children, homeless people with no family, girls that get rapes by their fathers, Mothers who do crack and ignore their children, Etc..

This. The exact reason I stopped cutting myself (used to about 2~3 years ago), and I keep telling her the same thing that everyone has problems, if you can't deal with them you can always tell your friends right? I've tried to help but I seriously can't see what else I can do.

And we do ignore each other most of the time, but I just want to know why she's doing this.

[SHINEjaejoong]

Just ask her straight out. You shouldn't be friends with someone who acts like she loves you(as a friend) and then backstabbs you behind your back. I mean, um, b.tch.
I would just cut contacts. I mean, if she keeps ranting about how life sucks and then doesn't tell you anything when you ask what is wrong is just stupid. I don't understand it. It seems like she wants you to ask that but why does she not answer?
Confusing. Just ask her to stop acting like a b.tch and nothing will help if you complain.

[agnuque]

Hmm, interesting. What makes you think she could be doing this?

And anyway, I don't see any way you can really rectify this situation. If you find her annoying, chances are, you aren't the only one. Maybe she has a problem with you because you can obviously call her BS. She probably doesn't like that she can't fool you with her immature attention seeking methods.

Just stop being friends with her. If I were you, I wouldn't even give her the time of day.

Exactly!

[MangoStar]

Thanks for the help, guys! ^-^
For those of you saying that I should help her with her problems and all...I've been asking her for the past 3 years to tell me what the problem is, but she never does. I've told couselors/teachers, whoever that I think can help, and everyone just dumbs it down to one thing: she's seeking attention.

Well, the thing is, she talks to me and all, not in a rude manner, just how friends talk, but she says all this crap to my other friends.



This. The exact reason I stopped cutting myself (used to about 2~3 years ago), and I keep telling her the same thing that everyone has problems, if you can't deal with them you can always tell your friends right? I've tried to help but I seriously can't see what else I can do.

And we do ignore each other most of the time, but I just want to know why she's doing this.

[font="Arial"]Thanks for the help, guys! ^-^
For those of you saying that I should help her with her problems and all...I've been asking her for the past 3 years to tell me what the problem is, but she never does. I've told couselors/teachers, whoever that I think can help, and everyone just dumbs it down to one thing: she's seeking attention.

First off, where are you from? If you live in the states, which I'm assuming the mere fact that you've told teachers and counselors about this and they do nothing, will result in them losing their jobs and possibly not being able to find another one. Because what if she does accidentally go too far with the cutting? Then what? So, I would go tell administrators of the school. I'm not saying you have to be close friends with the girl, but just try your best to get her help. She'll hate you, I've been in that situation, but when things get better, she'll be thankful.

Yes, cutting can be used for seeking attention. She wants help and she may find it difficult to verbally express her mental state to parents and other authority figures, but just because you think its because she's attention rainbow doesn't mean you ignore it. As for you thinking she's hating on you, honestly, I see no reason why you're upset over it. Yeah, its irritating, but it's petty for you to be upset over it. Now, if she starts talking full blown crap about you, stealing your friends etc, then get mad whatever.

[hippiehop]

Why do you care? Not like YOU like HER anyway.

[mentalfiction]

Lol, okay thanks again guys.
MangoStar nope i don't live in the states. but yeah ill try talking to someone about this...thanks for your help =)

And yeah I guess the best option is to ignore her, so I'm just going to do that,

[HaplessChild]

So I have this friend, or well she used to be a friend. Lets call her K. Now K and I were never amaaaazing friends, we were good friends though. Now the problem with K is that she's always cutting herself (in the most DISGUSTING ways possible believe me. she has cuts across her stomach/thighs, and god knows where else), and she's always FAKE cheery, which is very annoying. And a lot of the times, she'd come near me and start swearing about how crappy life is (now the thing is, she's kind of swearing 'to herself' but she always makes it a point to make it KNOWN to someone), so whenever I ask her what the problem is, she'd just smile and say "never mind"
Maybe you guys don't know how amazingly IRRITATING that is, but it is VERYYY irritating.

Now lately, she's been kind of hating on me, I dunno whyy. Two examples of what she did:
- My other friend, lets call her H, is talking to K, and K notices a bracelet H is wearing (that I gave H for her birthday) and says "that's really pretty", and H is like "thanks, [me, mentalfiction lol] gave it to me" and K's face just changed and she said, "oh, i guess i dont like it much now"
- Well, so I was thinking of taking up Biology again, and K takes Biology. So K comes up to my OTHER friend [L] and says "Is [my name] taking Biology?" and L just replies "oh no she decided against it" and K just sighs in relief and goes "thank god."

WHAT? I haven't even DONE anything to her. And honestly, I am so sick and tired of her "attention-seeking ways", I can't even bring myself to feel sympathetic towards her anymore. (There is one possible reason why she could be doing this, it's a bit long and kind of unrelated to her, but if you guys wanna know just tell me (= )
So seriously, what should I do about this? Should I go and confront her? I really don't want to pick a fight but I know she'll have something to say, either that or she'll just walk away saying "forget it" or "never mind"

Oh and sorry if this is long

If you know she's cutting, she knows you know and you're getting pissy about what is obviously a very real problem... If I were her, I wouldn't like you either.

[AngieK]

I don't care if I sound pinkberry but I gotta say it.

She's cutting herself.

Shall I repeat that again?

She's CUTTING herself.

Since when did we take things like this lightly? Is she doing it for attention? Probably. But there is always a reason behind wanting attention. Her life at home could be mini cooper right now, there could be things going on that none of you know about. Perhaps this is her way of reaching out and asking for help.

It doesn't matter if you know the exact reason for her misery. But a good friend is supposed to stick by her and give her strength until she's ready to open up and trust you. But instead you spend your time demeaning her attitude and motives. She's obviously unhappy with life so of course she has a fake smile on. It's much easier to put a fake smile on then to explain over and over why the hell you look so sad.

In any case since you've already made up your mind, fine. But I hope at least one of her friends is still trying to get her help. If her cutting is becoming that serious she really needs an adult to intervene.

[mentalfiction]

If you know she's cutting, she knows you know and you're getting pissy about what is obviously a very real problem... If I were her, I wouldn't like you either.

I don't care if I sound pinkberry but I gotta say it.

She's cutting herself.

Shall I repeat that again?

She's CUTTING herself.

Since when did we take things like this lightly? Is she doing it for attention? Probably. But there is always a reason behind wanting attention. Her life at home could be mini cooper right now, there could be things going on that none of you know about. Perhaps this is her way of reaching out and asking for help.

It doesn't matter if you know the exact reason for her misery. But a good friend is supposed to stick by her and give her strength until she's ready to open up and trust you. But instead you spend your time demeaning her attitude and motives. She's obviously unhappy with life so of course she has a fake smile on. It's much easier to put a fake smile on then to explain over and over why the hell you look so sad.

In any case since you've already made up your mind, fine. But I hope at least one of her friends is still trying to get her help. If her cutting is becoming that serious she really needs an adult to intervene.

Yo people, I just said, I TRIED to make her talk to me for 3 whole years, but she DIDN'T.
I try to stick by her but she pushes me away.
I only started avoiding after she went all "hate" on me.
And this has been like since last year. I always try to make small talk so maybe she can talk to me or something, but honestly, she's rude, the only long conversations I've had with her is her asking me about this other friend of mine. I mean, I'm sorry, call me irrational, but eventually you get tired when someone talks to you solely for the reason of asking after someone else. Seriously, I have feelings too you know
I fail to see how I'm at fault here.

[SHINEjaejoong]

^
It's not your fault.

[younglove]

Some of the responses in this thread have made me SICK to my stomach. How can people be so cold?

Did you ever stop to think that her "attention seeking ways" are for a very good reason? Cutting is the ultimate cry for help and if she wasn't talking to you for "three whole years" then there are plenty of place you could go to seek help for her.

Here is the top of my google search: http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/menta...th/cutting.html

But I wouldn't want to force you to help such a repulsive, attention seeking annoyance in your life. No wonder she doesn't like you.