[pinki247]

ok..so me and my bf have been an official couple for about 3 weeks now. Before we were official, he would call me everyday and we would talk for about an hour (mostly more than that), and we would text alot throughout the day too.
But ever since he asked me to be his girlfriend, we barely text, and i haven't talked to him on the phone for about 3 days now.
We're both in college, and yeah we're both busy, but shouldn't couples talk on the phone for atleast a little bit everyday?
He changed after we became a couple...like less communication. But when I see him in person, he's the same as he used to be, he's just different when were not together.
I talked to him about it before and I asked him like why he won't call me as much and stuff, and he said that he wants his space (which i give him plenty of....)

So why do some guys change like this after they become an official couple? is it because he doesn't have to try anymore to make me like him since he knows i'm his girlfriend?
I'm so frustrated...please help!

[brownman90561495]

He changed after we became a couple...like less communication. But when I see him in person, he's the same as he used to be, he's just different when were not together.

this is it right here. changes in people especially when entering a relationship can pretty much define the direction this relationship is taking. and i assume this change in your case is a negative one. it's like "hey i got my trophy now, i can relax a bit. i can stop talking to her on the phone every day". that's not the way it should be.

even if you start becoming a couple, courtship shouldn't end. i'm not saying he should be giving most of his time to you, but his assurance.

[chiho]

this is it right here. changes in people especially when entering a relationship can pretty much define the direction this relationship is taking. and i assume this change in your case is a negative one. it's like "hey i got my trophy now, i can relax a bit. i can stop talking to her on the phone every day". that's not the way it should be.

even if you start becoming a couple, courtship shouldn't end. i'm not saying he should be giving most of his time to you, but his assurance.

well it's not a good thing he's less active now, however, i guess from his perspective ... he feel assured now that you become his gf and he doesn't have to worry as much about you getting stolen by some other guy (well still possible but less). Kinda like the trophy thing

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

Guys like the chase for a reason. Because he "has" you now, he doesn't have to try anymore.

[mintcracker]

Yes. This is really common isn't it? I think guys just like alot of space. You just need to do your own thing and wait for him to contact you lol I know it sucks when they disappear on you.

[pinki247]

^ so this is a common thing?
is this even worth it?
sometimes i feel like just ending the relationship if this doesn't get better.

[mintcracker]

^ depends on how much you like the guy. I think you need to talk to them alittle more (which I did as well, there was a point recently where I nearly lost it cos I thought he stopped caring but anyway) my point is to just give it time and of course tell him how you feel. I know we like to feel appreciated, and when they do that it makes you start thinking ... But yeah, just talk to him, see if you can work sth out. If you think you need more attention, then end it.

[pinki247]

^ depends on how much you like the guy. I think you need to talk to them alittle more (which I did as well, there was a point recently where I nearly lost it cos I thought he stopped caring but anyway) my point is to just give it time and of course tell him how you feel. I know we like to feel appreciated, and when they do that it makes you start thinking ... But yeah, just talk to him, see if you can work sth out. If you think you need more attention, then end it.

so how did yours work out?
it's not an attention thing....i just think we need to communicate more. lol
but yeah i'm going to talk to him about it but i just wanted to know why guys do this and stuff.

[mintcracker]

^ after feeling miserable, extremely down, crying and stuff, and a few talks...it's all good now =）took time (didn't change straight away..) though, I told him it couldn't just be one sided, that both people need to make an effort. And yeah I know what you mean, I gave space, but it's just that communication is really important aye? Yeah when they don't communicate at all for several days makes you think wtf is going on lol. Sometimes guys don't feel like talking, they'd rather relax, do their own thing (after getting back from class). I wasn't used to this either, my ex spent everyday with me. Just persist and try to get it to work. If you like him enough you'll try, but of course if this continues to carry on for more than a month and nothing changes....do what you need to do.

[pinki247]

^ after feeling miserable, extremely down, crying and stuff, and a few talks...it's all good now =）took time (didn't change straight away..) though, I told him it couldn't just be one sided, that both people need to make an effort. And yeah I know what you mean, I gave space, but it's just that communication is really important aye? Yeah when they don't communicate at all for several days makes you think wtf is going on lol. Sometimes guys don't feel like talking, they'd rather relax, do their own thing (after getting back from class). I wasn't used to this either, my ex spent everyday with me. Just persist and try to get it to work. If you like him enough you'll try, but of course if this continues to carry on for more than a month and nothing changes....do what you need to do.

ahh...ok. that makes me feel a little better and it gives me hope haha
i'm glad things are good btwn you and your boyfriend. i talked to him briefly about this a while back..i didn't want to make a big deal out of it because it hasn't been that long since we were official and i didn't want to sound clingy. But i'm going to see how he's acting this weekend, and maybe bring it up one more time and see how it goes from there
but yeah...this type of relationship is very new to me, because my past relationships were like..we saw each other whenever we wanted to and we talked on the phone once a day..etc. so i'm still getting used to this haha but i'm going to wait a little longer, and if im not happy then..the end lol

[whatismyname]

im sorry i dont get it.......where is the problem exactly?
when he is with you......he acts the same..ok
but he doesnt text as much.........so did you guys drift apart?
i dont know but when two people arent physically together, cant he just live his own life and you do with yours?
but here might be the problem though......when you guys DO communicate do you tell each other you miss them or you thought about them?
some couples dont even say those things though but it works for them. i just dont see a problem.

[x-rays-r-b-yu-t-ful]

guys are about simple logic. not fantasy.
Why run the race, when you've got the prize?
sure, love does romantic stuff/whip a guy into the shape of fantastical caricatures of the perfect, always-24/7 adoring, strong, sensitive boyfriend. but it doesn't last forever. and hell... thank god for that. for everyone's sake.

i'm pretty sure if girls were pressured into buying jewelry, gifts, presents, flowers and going out for dinner every other night at some new fancy restaurant or quirky lounge with dim lights for their men, they'd get tired of it too and just want some distance to feel like independent women.

but even at the level of simple seeing each other stuff... must a man declare and prove his love a hundred thousand times to a single woman? isn't once enough?
bah. high maintenance chicks. x_x' how they emptied my wallet and MY OWN LIFE.

[forgottenmemories]

The chase is over. He's finally got you so he doesn't feel the need to make an effort to communicate with you any longer. Thats my opinion though.

[g1na1011]

Like what everyone said, the chase is over. I find that most guys are like this-once they've gotten together with a girl, they stop the chase or doing anything creative unless it's for some special date. If he totally neglects you, then there's a problem but I am sure he still talks to you sometimes and you guys plan dates, etc so it's still good =] I am taking a sex & relationship course right now, and experts say couples should at talk for 15mins/day. ha.

[taebins_luver]

he's done chasing, now he wants to relax some.

i duno, guys who change after entering into a relationship are usually the iffy ones for me.
i fear being with them because once the deal is done, they just sit back and do nothing.
it just sets up the whole fight with 'how you used to be' or 'how come you're not like before'

[deadgiveaway]

Hmm two people in a relationship usually want to talk to and be with each other whenever they can, especially during the "honeymoon" period, and you guys have only been together for 3 weeks... I would say that it seems like he's losing a bit of interest, but maybe it really is just what he says, that he needs his space. But his needing space doesn't mean that you should have to feel neglected. Talk to him about making some compromises. Good luck!

[pinki247]

so alot of you guys said that the "chase is over" and now he's starting to just relax and not feel the need to make an effort anymore.
but then why do guys get a girlfriend if they're not going to talk to them atleast once a day?
i'm not asking for like 5 hours lol but we barely talk for 10 minutes a day...if that.
he's busy and i don't bother him when he's doing his stuff. i think i give him plenty of space and most of the time i rarely call first because i don't want to look like i'm clingy.
so i'm wondering..is this relationship even worth it, if he's going to continue acting like this?
and are alot of guys like this or just the guys who are looking for "fun" and not a real relationship?

[MNLV27]

If you want to talk to him, call then. It's not that hard, you don't always have to wait for him to call you.
It was similar to my bf and I, there was a time in our relationship where we just called to say, "How was your day?..Okay, well I'm tired or well I have work to do, I'll call you tomorrow. Bye." It was usually less than ten minutes.

You should tell him that you know he's busy but you want to be a part of his life too, ask him to fit in a little you and him time in his busy schedule. Like a thirty minute phone call every night or something to just catch up on the day. Just communicate with him about it.

[PRRRETTYGLiTTERRR]

for me, he called more after lol ;;; idk sorry thats not good advice

[courtneyy]

okay.
so this TOTALLY happened to me. and we just recently broke up because of it.

of course it's supposed to be like that in the beginning. they're trying to win you over...
but, not talking to your s/o for three days...

of course, if you're not trying either, that's not going to help the situation any. i actively would text my [ex] boyfriend, at least once a day. and, if you don't get any texts after that for a while... this could be a hint that it's not going in the direction you may have wanted it to go...
T__T''