[ai-Do1Ce]

I felt pretty bummed out for the past few years.. Because of the things going on in my life, i stopped being myself and basically started to talk lesser and lesser until i started to speak only a few words each day. Then it ended up being like my mind wouldn't even be there in reality.


And what scares me is that i used to be a really good speller ever since i was a little girl... i could spell a word correctly without thinking or visualizing the word.. but now i find that i can't even spell some moderate easy words. When i type it out and it's not right- it doesnt even look wrong to me. I think part of the reason i've turned into this is because half the time, my thoughts aren't even in the present... like somehow they're not there when i do things... such as typing out a word..
Spelling may not seem such a big issue, but because this wasn't a big issue.. i'm starting to get scared.

Also when i played music in the past, i felt free in that i could express myself in any sort of way. My teachers usually applaud me for being very musical. Now when i play music, it feels that i have lost that part of me and cannot grasp on the same free feeling i had before anymore, the music i produce now all sound very stiff. Same goes for my artistic talents and my other hobbies.

I feel really detached from myself =( Is there anything i can do about this?

[KanyeWEST]

sounds like you have dyslexia.

[캐띠]

I feel the same way because of depression. Mine is because of heartbreak but I don't think it's as serious as you. I spell words wrong too but I always notice. I talk a whole lot less now, and I feel weird around people. Usually just people my age. Older or younger people I'm fine with. Probably because I lost so many friends in my age group.

[missimperfection]

detached? yes. everything feels mechanical as if you're not actually there experiencing what's happening. well here's some advice that my friends have given me, but which i haven't actually followed: get some professional help.

[wowastyle]

yup, have been feeling this way for quite some time. for me, i think it's depression. although, every now and then I do feel somewhat more attached. i guess i'm just disappointed in where my life is heading.

[I_Love_Rice]

It's just a phase, depending on how old you are. Everyone goes through it, you'll break out of that shell sooner or later. Depends on what will happen in your life that would make you happy... I went through it, my sister is in it right now.. i think? But eventually it will go away, but you can't just wait for it.

[rawr_sheila]

i can relate to you.
some things that happened made me talk less and lesser each day.
sometimes, i would stay in my room all day b/c i tried to avoid it.
and i also used to be a really good speller. i would get like 100% on those small spelling quizzes.
and I used to play the piano a lot.

yeah things have changed, and my talking is still limited.
but i've learned that theres really no way for me to lock myself from the world.
so, i've learned to be more open-minded, more happy, and be thankful for what i have.
When i give service to someone, i forget about my problems, my flaws, the dumb things that i worry about myself.

you have to learn how to laugh everyday, smile, be happy.
it'll take time, but its worth it. don't wait for someone to make up who you are.

[hannieoon]

I've been the same way. It started ever since high school. There were days when I feel like nothing is going right and that there's no point in living because we're going to die anyways. Yea... pretty pessimistic right? I still don't know what to do with my life. I have a lot of dreams and aspirations but I feel like it won't come true. My friend told me that I should just work day by day and try not to look too far into the future because it can discourage you as well. So I've been taking her advice and I've gotten out of that little episode.