[__forensic]

To put it simply, me and my boyfriend have been with each over for 1 year + 8 months.
(He's a Marine, a reservist, and I'm a student. We usually see each each weekend)

Over the past months we've gone through a lot of ups and downs, always resulting in break ups though they are mostly "faux-breakup" because they never lasted more than a day...but recently, over the summer, we've been fighting (BIG fights) that all of the time always turn out for the worse..but then they get better..because most of the time it's because "I'm stubborn," and then I admit I'm wrong...

(Fact, he is always the one to break up with me)

Just lately I don't know where we are anymore...I feel as though we're going in circles, that we fight over something SO SMALL that it turns into me being stubborn and him cursing (yes, cursing) because I can't admit that I'm wrong, and at times I admit I am wrong but he rarely apologizes for cursing, justifying that it's because I get him that angry enough that he can't help it, that's just how far I push him...I just don't know what to do. We've been together for so long, (he is my first boyfriend by the way) but I feel like that I do always want to be right at times to make up for him for being such a jerk to me...

I really don't know...

Example: We were supposed to see each other Friday (I was going to come home) but he told me that he has to go to Rhode Island for his friends birthday (which is okay with me, its his friends I want him to go have fun) but I admit I was a little upset because I would be alone on Friday, and to top it off I wasn't even sure how I was going to come him since my parents had work so I might have had to walk home from the bus stop (pretty far..) so I started thinking, maybe I'll go to Rutgers to visit my friends, so when I told my bf about it, I said that I wanted to go but I didn't know how to:

BF: Why don't you meet Friend A?
Me: She's all the way in Long Island! (though its pretty easier to meet her in the city) I don't want go all by myself, >.> I need you with me hahah idk how to get around in the world!"
BF: What's going on in Rutgers?

And from what my friends were talking about "Friend A to Friend B: I might go to Rutgers on Halloween, so I better see you!" so I do know that obviously there may be a party and drinking but from that I had no idea really so I only answered

Me: I don't know but Friend A said she's going to Friend B, I saw it on facebook
BF: Uhhh..I just saw it was for Halloween you retar*d, acting like you didn't know, don't give me that BS, I'm not stupid, you have the intention of going to a party and you know what happens at parties

(to be clear we both agreed that we don't like each other being around alcohol and party environments, and that even though I DID know that it obviously meant a party, or something along those lines)


And so on and so on....I realize that this a a cycle of fighting, and even though at times I may be the wrong one, I can't help but think that he has to take some responsibility too and apologize for some aspects...

I don't know... do I really play mind games, am really stubborn, and try to always "keep my head up," as he says?

[ChingGoo]

another case of falling out of love. GL

[Bisu]

some huge trust issues.

(to be clear we both agreed that we don't like each other being around alcohol and party environments, and that even though I DID know that it obviously meant a party, or something along those lines)

it's best to break up because a relationship without trust is doomed to fail.

save yourself the misery and fighting and just end it with him. he sounds pretty immature by the sounds of it.

[fredinsac]

I definitely see where he's coming from. I mean the first words in your post were "To put it simply.." and then you write a J.R. Tolkien novel. Look, if you don't feel like fighting anymore then don't be together anymore. Any relationship with this much strain is bound to end sooner or later. Avoid the headaches and just avoid each other.

[muffinx3]

Me and my boyfriend actually used to go through something really similar to what you're going through.
We would ALWAYSSS fight about the dumbest things and a lot of the time, he would threaten to break up with me. I was always too stubborn to apologize when I was wrong. He would always tell me that I never apologize. These fights would get pretty bad too and occurred practically every other day (or at least it seemed that way). :/

But eventually, we just got over all of the stupid drama and now we're great.
I don't really know how else to describe it.. We just... got used to each other. o___o;;
He knows that I get mad over little things and over react sometimes and that I need time to cool down before I apologize. I know that he likes apologies and doesn't like it when I argue and such. We understand each other.

I agree with Bisu though, it seems like your boyfriend has some trust issues. :/

[MNLV27]

Well, you should know when to apologize and when not to. If it's clearly seen that you're definitely in the wrong, apologize before the argument even escalates into cursing and you guys breaking up and you feeling like he's being a jerk. Don't have the mentality of 'oh he was being a jerk so I have to be right no matter what even if I am in the wrong this time.' That just makes you appear immature.

As for the cursing, he should apologize for it. You should tell him that you don't tolerate cursing, it's a showing that he's disrespecting you. You can understand why he would start it but it shouldn't justify that he doesn't have to apologize.

Guys in the military have anger issues, trust me, I have a marine guy of my own too.

[taebins_luver]

maybe you should just stop being so stubborn and don't try to hide facts from him?
i duno...

maybe he has trust issues, but you not dishing out the entire truth isn't helping the situation either.
telling part lie and part truth doesn't make it the entire truth.
how about the next time you feel that your conversations are leading up to a fight,
you just say 'i'm sorry, i don't want to fight, let's stop this'
or just hang up and give yourself a few seconds to think thing through before another word is said.
maybe why your relationship is at that standstill because you both aren't ready to move things up.

someone has to lay down their pride to make this work, two clashing ego's aren't very nice to each other.