[RhythmEmotion]

Scenario: If someone ask someone why they are single, and they say: I'm just have really high standards"

"This is an excuse used by people who are afraid to get into relationships. They always somehow find flaws in their prospects and decide to continue looking for someone else out there. Therefore, all potential love interests are disqualified even before the first date."

Would you agree with the statement above? If one was to say they simply have high standards, it subconsciously means they're actually just scared to into a relationship.

[KOGEPANN;)]

I never realized that, I agree with the statement, but for everyone it's different. I think i'm one of those people as well :S personally it's the idea that you've seen so many people you love around you settling for less, when they actually deserve better, somehow triggered me into thinking I don't want to and shouldn't settle for any less.

[j.a*star]

no i do not agree with that statement.
why would u be in a relationship with someone who you can't seem to connect with.

[donporkuloin]

It depends on what the high standards are? For me I'm a Black guy, but I rarely ever date a Black woman.

[Javus]

It depends on what the high standards are? For me I'm a Black guy, but I rarely ever date a Black woman.

I kinda don't understand how race could be involved in what you could consider high standards.


Anyways I know some people like that, alot of the time they want a person to be as perfect as possible or as close to their ideal as possible.

[fredinsac]

It depends on what the high standards are? For me I'm a Black guy, but I rarely ever date a Black woman.

So you're basically saying that black women aren't worth your time and are beneath you? Lemme tell you something, there's a few black honeys I'd love to have beneath me! Know what I mean!? haha..you know..... beneath me.....like I'm laying on top of'em cause...you know...like...

......nevermind.

[stinastaysober]

That is actually true for me. My friends tells me I'm picky all the time, but they don't know I'm scared to fall in love. v.v

[Romancer.]

I don't think it's true. I'm not scared to get into a relationship, in fact I want to be in one, I just really do have high standards.

[[K]Jae]

Standards come in all sorts of packages and terms. It may some you listed but to others it may be different. Everyone has different standards while most are very similar.

[Mr. Chan]

My level of standards is over nine-thousaaAAaAAAAaAaand

[rachilde]

Depends on the person. I have a friend who has very specific standards before he is willing to date a girl but, if a girl meets those standards, he will date her. As he calls it, every girl is filling out an application in his head. For me, I'm much more of an interview type. I don't really like sitting down and listing what makes or breaks a guy or girl for me. There will always be an exception to the rules and I'd be awful sorry if I missed him or her. If I talk to someone and I feel attracted to him or her then he or she is in the running; no one is eliminated just by concrete elements of their personhood (their religion, their race, etc.)

[kcn_]

My level of standards is over nine-thousaaAAaAAAAaAaand

WHAT!? OVER 9000!?!

lol -.-

high standards can simply just be high standards like
how some people are just really picky on what they eat, others can be picky on who they date
doesn't neccessarily mean they're afraid of falling in love
lol life is too short for fear

[Mr. Chan]

WHAT!? OVER 9000!?!

Luckily for you, you've made the cut.

[peppermintsugar]

I have high standards, I have no problem getting into relationships. In fact, I usually have a problem of trying to see the positives in someones actions. If I like them, then I'll tend to look at them with a rose tint, so that they can fit into my standards. Obviously, this never works, because they're not good guys for me.

I also don't see anything wrong with being scared to get into a relationship. Serious relationships are terrifying.

On another note, I don't see why someone can't just have high standards. What's wrong with that? If someone doesn't fit what I'm looking for in a man, why would I waste the time of dating them if it's eventually going to fail?

[Mr. Chan]

On another note, I don't see why someone can't just have high standards. What's wrong with that? If someone doesn't fit what I'm looking for in a man, why would I waste the time of dating them if it's eventually going to fail?

Ugly people shouldn't have high standards, that's just... stupid. Don't you agree?

[jchang]

i feel like it just totally depends on the person. They can actually be single because they really do have high standards or it can be other personal reasons. Also, they could be scared of being committed to something. But i think it totally depends on the person so it is hard to judge someone when they say I am single because i have high standards

[peppermintsugar]

Ugly people shouldn't have high standards, that's just... stupid. Don't you agree?

I don't know, I've seen some pretty busted girls with some pretty fine boys, so I guess everyone can get lucky.

[whenaicu]

Ugly people shouldn't have high standards, that's just... stupid. Don't you agree?

And yet you see ugly guys with the hot girl or vice versa.


About the high standards comment, I'd say people that have standards know what they are looking for in a partner. Or they are just incredibly shallow.

[witchery]

Scenario: If someone ask someone why they are single, and they say: I'm just have really high standards"

"This is an excuse used by people who are afraid to get into relationships. They always somehow find flaws in their prospects and decide to continue looking for someone else out there. Therefore, all potential love interests are disqualified even before the first date."

Would you agree with the statement above? If one was to say they simply have high standards, it subconsciously means they're actually just scared to into a relationship.

No. I hate the connotations of that phrase- to have high standards. People associate it with being all high-maintenance, like being a picky eater, kinda snobby in a sense. I'm not so anal as to have a checklist formed in my mind, where I critique each candidate carefully and really scope him out to see if he meets my criteria. I'm open-minded and I view people with that mindset.

I don't jump into a relationship because I'm afraid. I just don't like wasting time/effort. If despite all his other redeeming attributes you discover this flaw you just can't overlook, I think why should I waste my time forming a relationship with him? First impressions are very important and often (not always of course) prove true in the end. I can give him a chance, but how long do I need to drag it out for? There's no point for me in going any further if after the first few dates I still don't think he's right for me.

[donporkuloin]

I kinda don't understand how race could be involved in what you could consider high standards.


Anyways I know some people like that, alot of the time they want a person to be as perfect as possible or as close to their ideal as possible.

So you're basically saying that black women aren't worth your time and are beneath you? Lemme tell you something, there's a few black honeys I'd love to have beneath me! Know what I mean!? haha..you know..... beneath me.....like I'm laying on top of'em cause...you know...like...

......nevermind.

I never thought I'd be bashed on Soompi for not wanting to date a Black woman. WOW. It's not about perfection. Anyone that's thinking that has the wrong assumption. Here's food for thought I get tired of dealing with the same type of females in my area. I never said black women are beneath me. I said I don't really date black women. To be honest what I'm looking for in a woman is quite simple. I'm not one of those guys who has a deep grocery list of wants, or needs.