[kuroxkitsuneX3]

I don't think it's true. I'm not scared to get into a relationship, in fact I want to be in one, I just really do have high standards.

I'm the same way, all/most of the guys around me are immature and I just can't see myself with them at all. Maybe college will be different?

[Ramen-C]

Depends on circumstances, right?

That person could just blaming themselves for not being in a relationship whether they want or don't want to be in one. Rather than saying "no on likes me" or "I never get asked out", the person is just saying "I'm jsut too damn picky". The phrase is definite so I guess it prevent the ask-er to ask again.

[-yourstruly]

It's true for me I have extremely high standards. I get really annoyed with guys who snore T_T ...I'm not sure if that's considered high standards, but I just wanted to share that (:

[colloquy]

No, I don't get it because it STILL makes no sense.
By your logic, judging someone based on their behavior is just as bad as being racist. If we can't draw conclusions based on how people REALLY ARE and how they REALLY ACT as opposed to just race then how ARE we supposed to judge people?
Dating anyone is a behavior. Being black or male is a physical feature. Seeing some guy beat up some other guy and saying "He's a jerk" is NOT the same as seeing a Hispanic guy beat someone up and concluding "All Hispanic guys are jerks." That is why when it comes too the law, racial profiling is illegal and psychiatric evaluation is not.

I'm sorry but your comparison doesn't hold up in the least bit.

Well, I agree that judging based off actions may not be exactly the same as judging based on somebody's skin color, but I don't think people that have flings are considered to be easy is any less judgmental. It's like saying that everyone without a college degree is stupid or inferior to people without one.

I'm pretty easy with going out on a date with somebody with or without no sex involved, but men have continuously told me that I'm notoriously hard to get emotionally. I could easily get a boyfriend, believe me, but it's not worth the trouble. For many professionals who don't have the time and energy to devote to lengthy romantic rendezvous, they often resort to flings or do not date at all. It's not like love is the only thing in life, in fact, there are many more things important to me than romantic love.

I don't think I have high standards. Like everyone, I have preferences.

[Soshii_love]

high standards.. if you think about it, if you're not perfect yourself, why do you want or expect such high circumstances within a person? what happens if you find your high standard mate? doesn't this effect your self-esteem because he/she might be better than you? that's what I think, and it sucks that your self-esteem is going down like rain.

& who doesn't want a high standard person? I'm sure every single one of us does.
but who really do gets these high standard mates? not much.. is it why there is so much single's out there?
ha. jk~

[peppermintsugar]

high standards.. if you think about it, if you're not perfect yourself, why do you want or expect such high circumstances within a person? what happens if you find your high standard mate? doesn't this effect your self-esteem because he/she might be better than you? that's what I think, and it sucks that your self-esteem is going down like rain.

& who doesn't want a high standard person? I'm sure every single one of us does.
but who really do gets these high standard mates? not much.. is it why there is so much single's out there?
ha. jk~

Expecting a certain amount of anything from someone does not mean you expect them to be perfect. No one is. I'm not, my boyfriend isn't, but I certainly do expect a certain level of attention, emotion, care, thought, etc etc from my boyfriend when it comes to our relationship, and if he doesn't do this, then the relationship won't work for me. You sort of make the concept seem very shallow, with saying "what if they're better than you?", because the aforementioned things I ask of my boyfriend are what he gets from me, which is exactly why I would expect them from him. Maybe if the concept were more generally about physical things like appearance (in this case, I'm sure it is for some), then the idea of ones self esteem suffering due to your mate being better than you would make more sense.
I don't see anything wrong with having high standards, and I don't believe in settling, especially considering the age range of most of the people posting on this forum, not a single one of us should be considering settling for less than we want/need, unless a lot of you are 50+, with children, and divorced.

[takashi]

haha this thread is amusing =] after awhile, i realized what my "ideal" (long ass check list) is practically too good to be true for me, and if not they're probably too good for me. in the end, i realized taht what i mainly want in a girl is to at least be able to hold a convo and crack/share the type of humor that I enjoy, along with playing sports/ keeping themselves healthy.

[0rchid]

I never realized that, I agree with the statement, but for everyone it's different. I think i'm one of those people as well :S personally it's the idea that you've seen so many people you love around you settling for less, when they actually deserve better, somehow triggered me into thinking I don't want to and shouldn't settle for any less.

i totally agree with you. also, what is the point of going out with someone when you already know from the start that you're just not compatible? i think i've heard that it takes less than 3 minutes to asses whether or not you're compatible with someone.. which is probably why speed dating services are making so much money :s

[cheerydumdum]

probably depends on the person. some people have high standards cuz they don't want to go out with someone who's just going to break their heart, piss them off all the time, and/or bug them with certain habits. i wouldn't say i'm someone with high standards, but after a couple relationships, i've learned to pay attention to every detail because simple little things can end up annoying me to death and creating conflicts. i'd rather just avoid stuff like that and have high standards.

[.shirleeang]

well, i'm 16 and lately i've been questioning my standards because all of a sudden, as soon as junior year started, everyone seemed to be dating. it almost feels like everyone gave up being picky like they were the first two years of HS and were just happy to date. i've been asked out a few times in sophomore year, but i don't think i really connected to any of those boys...so i didn't want to have one of those teenage flings that lasted 2 months, but really, at my age i'm thinking people are just dating for the experience of dating. i think my high standards should hold off until i plan to get married.
i don't really know....

[Mannosuke]

No, I don't get it because it STILL makes no sense.
By your logic, judging someone based on their behavior is just as bad as being racist. If we can't draw conclusions based on how people REALLY ARE and how they REALLY ACT as opposed to just race then how ARE we supposed to judge people?
Dating anyone is a behavior. Being black or male is a physical feature. Seeing some guy beat up some other guy and saying "He's a jerk" is NOT the same as seeing a Hispanic guy beat someone up and concluding "All Hispanic guys are jerks." That is why when it comes too the law, racial profiling is illegal and psychiatric evaluation is not.

I'm sorry but your comparison doesn't hold up in the least bit.

I'm sorry, I assumed a few things in my post, so I'll go back to the basics.

Do you know what is "stereotyping"? Do you know what the process of stereotyping is?

Now, what's the difference between seeing a behavior and making some presumptions (they're NOT conclusions), and seeing a skin color, and making more presumptions? Both go through similar processes and in the end you're judging a person's character based on limited information.

Both apply to groups of people as well as individuals, so I don't see how you can say it's irrelevant.

If we can't draw conclusions based on how people REALLY ARE and how they REALLY ACT as opposed to just race then how ARE we supposed to judge people?

So you're telling me when you see someone date around, that's how they REALLY ARE and how they REALLY ACT? After all, it's a behavior that you've observed

[Poop-Shoop-A-Loop]

These posts have gone off topic and have turned into a discussion about race. All users that have posted unnecessary generalized comments about any race will be warned.