[aiyan]

Lately, I've been pondering the reason why some people lose interest so easily.

Here's my experience. Personally, I'm the type to lose interest really easily. I might like a guy, but if he likes me back I lose interest after a short while. Worse, sometimes if I do like a guy, I get on/off feelings about my attraction to him. It might be because I like the "thrill of the chase," and worse, some people call me a player (jokingly), which I definitely am not. I like serious relationships. I've never been in a relationship before, by the way.

Any advice for me? I really want to be able to truly like someone, but I always find my wavering feelings affecting my (potential) relationships.

Does anyone else experience anything similar? What can account for such changing feelings, and the problem of losing interest? Feel free to share stories, experiences, or anything else.

[,astrolicious]

I'm sometimes like that but I think something that helps is to not think of yourself that way.
The more you think about it, the more likely you're going to fall into that pattern, I think.
Just don't let your mind wander off so far. ; )

[agnes.]

someday you'll find the guy who can keep your interest.
i have a friend like you. she loses interest real fast. most of the time when she likes a guy, the guy eventually likes her back, and then she loses interest.

but she's got a boyfriend now, and they've been together for over 2 years now.
so just wait. you'll find that someone.

[ajjang]

i don't think you can consider your situation to be liking someone.
if it's on/off like that, you probably never liked them, you just had a fickle feeling.
when you truly like someone, you know. you won't get tired of them.

[peppermintsugar]

You're bad at dating because you've never done it before. That's why you lose interest.
Everything takes practice, and relationships, feelings, situations involving them, are no different. You don't know what you want. You meet someone cool, they keep your interest for a bit, but then you're over it.

[MrPower]

You feel like you win them over too easily.
The more you reach out for them, the more valuable they will be in your eyes.

It's difficult to break out of until you find somebody worth liking/staying with by your standards. Good luck? o_o

edit: I suggest you figure out what you want in a relationship, and what you expect from the other person. Maybe that will help out?

[donporkuloin]

It's simple. STOP BEING PICKY. JUST GIVE A GUY THAT SEEMS OK A CHANCE. STOP WAITING FOR SOME MAGICAL GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A K-DRAMA STAR TO SWEEP YOU OFF OF YOUR FEET, AND MEET A GUY. Get some experience. Quit running!

[naoto]

if you don't feel it that's fine. You can have interest in the beginning and then lose it as you continue talking to him. That's not mean or anything BUT. You can't play people you have to say it as soon as he starts flirting. "look i don't really know what i'm feeling, let me think about it okay"

Just state it to someone that you know likes you immediately and you're good.

[yukinohana]

if you`re young, have fun.
its not a bad thing you change you`re mind
but dont lead them on

[bonjour tristesse.]

Well, that's how it is. Sometimes being in love with them isn't enough ; everyone falls out of relationships.

[Cao]

You feel like you win them over too easily.
The more you reach out for them, the more valuable they will be in your eyes.

It's difficult to break out of until you find somebody worth liking/staying with by your standards. Good luck? o_o

edit: I suggest you figure out what you want in a relationship, and what you expect from the other person. Maybe that will help out?

You hit the nail..

[aiyan]

You're bad at dating because you've never done it before. That's why you lose interest.
Everything takes practice, and relationships, feelings, situations involving them, are no different. You don't know what you want. You meet someone cool, they keep your interest for a bit, but then you're over it.

It's not about me not having experience. I HAVE gone on dates before. It's the feeling that I don't have. I just think I never truly liked someone before.

You feel like you win them over too easily.
The more you reach out for them, the more valuable they will be in your eyes.

It's difficult to break out of until you find somebody worth liking/staying with by your standards. Good luck? o_o

edit: I suggest you figure out what you want in a relationship, and what you expect from the other person. Maybe that will help out?

Yah, I know what you mean. I do feel that way sometimes. The problem is, I think I have found someone but I keep letting my fluctuating feelings affect me. I know what I want from the relationship and what I expect from the other person. I've thought a lot about it already. Thanks for the advice.

It's simple. STOP BEING PICKY. JUST GIVE A GUY THAT SEEMS OK A CHANCE. STOP WAITING FOR SOME MAGICAL GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A K-DRAMA STAR TO SWEEP YOU OFF OF YOUR FEET, AND MEET A GUY. Get some experience. Quit running!

Stop being picky? hoho, everyone has every right to be as picky as they want (to a reasonable extent, that is). I'm not going to just "give a guy that seems ok a chance" because I want a serious relationship where I am SURE I like the other guy. I don't want to date just for the heck of it.

Who said I'm waiting for this "magical guy?" That's NOT the issue -.-, I'm not waiting for Prince Charming. I just want to account for my changing feelings which I'm getting annoyed of.

if you don't feel it that's fine. You can have interest in the beginning and then lose it as you continue talking to him. That's not mean or anything BUT. You can't play people you have to say it as soon as he starts flirting. "look i don't really know what i'm feeling, let me think about it okay"

Just state it to someone that you know likes you immediately and you're good.

I do, do that. I try to be careful around guys who might like me.


Thanks everyone for the input. ~ Would love to hear more comments, or your own experiences!

[Romancer.]

That happens to me too. Sometimes it's because the 'chase is over' but mostly it's because deep down I never fully liked them in the first place. I only had feelings when I didn't actually know them well enough to make up my decision yet.

I think maybe you should try and go after guys you're sort of friends with first?

[kitten83]

dun worry..i've been there..i get bored easily too...but i guess that we hv 2 b patient n etc...maybe someday u'll get da guy dat u'll like n end up wit a happily ever after story..hehehe..

[Dreamss]

i think you need to give it some time.
I'm actaully in the same position as you right now. I let my mind overthink it and then I start
losing interest. But if you actaully like the guy, give it more time. or just break up and wait for that someone.

[SarangHeyo <3]

WOW I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A THREAD THAT SUITED ME SO MUCH BEFORE!!
same. but i dont actually like them. i just flirt. for one day, then i lose interest and we never talk again
until he starts flirting with me and i start...
there was actually one guy that i kinda liked... we were best friends for like three years then i found out he had feeelings for me. and i allowed it, then.. i kinda grew attached. but then i lost interest, and this went on like three times. and today, we dont talk.

[xxsarahhoangerz]

You just want a boyfriend. Seeing as you haven't even been in a relationship before, and you keep liking guys on and off, you are just trying to find the right guy for yourself which is why you keep moving on so fast.

[the;andro]

you;re not ready for a rs now. when you are ready for a serious rs - accepting the person as who he is, then you will stop having these on and off stuff. i was like that too because i was young. i'm older now and dating someone, and loving it

[bhaby gurl]

well im like that, i will like somebody but then i wont like them anymore if ever they found out that i like them

or i will lose my interest to them easily

but among them there's just 2 guys that i like for a long time

anywayzZ i think you will overcome it when you found the right person you truelly like

and yeah its just normal liking a lot of person as long as its just liking

[Lie]

This is going to sound insulting, but I don't mean it to be. In my personal experience, 90% of the time people with that issue (which is most people under 20 who lack a lot of life, social, and relationship experience) have a combination of emotional immaturity (i.e. they can't yet handle sustained romantic feelings) and a conscious or subconscious lack of self esteem (on some level, when a person seems to really like them, they have a "what about me could you even like?" reaction which turns them off to the person. i.e. If they like me, something must be wrong with them).

It COULD be that they just haven't met the right person yet, but generally I think the truth is that they're not ready from the standpoint of emotional and personal maturation to even be open to finding the "right person" at that point in their lives.