[chocolateturtle]

I don't if it's a big deal but my bf consistently lies about playing games...I ask him if he has played games recently and he says no. I found out he made a purchase yesterday $15 for an online game. He says he has no money and all that and never bothers to buy me any gifts...not even for my birthday yet he has these extra money to buy games for himself. I always pay for his airplane tickets and other expenses for his visits and I ask if he can help me pay for some of the ticket and he says he doesn't have any money to spare. I just want him to tell the truth, I don't care if he plays or not but it's the lying aspect that upsets me. What should I do?

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

Tell him to choose: you or his videogames.

[mintcracker]

Talk to him about it. Don't do the whole ultimatum thing bc that's immature. Tell him how it makes you feel, that it seems like he places video games above u, that you like feeling like you're doing all the work (while he doesn't really try etc). Communication will sort it out.

[A-choo]

Agreed wif SaRaNg Hae :]

.___. and wth, yooh pay for his air plane tickets, that juss doesnt' sound rite.

[chiho]

Tell him to choose: you or his videogames.

i am pretty sure he's pick games lol

[iangel]

i am pretty sure he's pick games lol

lol.

You guys are only dating and you're already supporting/paying for him. That's so lame, seriously. He should get a job so he could PAY for HIS plane tickets to see YOU.

[hitokiri007]

uh...dump his broke, lying, video game playing ass.

him lying about having no money, and lying about video games, then lying about using his money to buy said video games, means money > video games > you. sorry to be so harsh, but you're pretty much at the bottom of the list of importance if he'd rather save up money to buy vid games instead of using it to go see you. and he could be lying about other things too if he lies about something as small as buying video games and not having money.

[peppermintsugar]

Let me tell you something, my boyfriend plays some serious Street Fighter IV, and if it weren't for us getting together BEFORE the game came out, we probably never would have. He loves that game.
And you know what, if I gave MY boyfriend and ultimatum; me or the game, he would choose the game. Not because he doesn't love me, and not because he doesn't want this relationship, but because I'M childish enough to do something as ridiculous as put our entire relationship on the line because he wants to play a video game online for a couple of hours a day. By doing something like that, and showing an aggression because of it, he's not going to stop, in fact, he's just going to want to spend even less time with you, and more time with the game. Trust me, I went through the same exact thing months ago. He probably lies because you aren't supportive.

You know what you should do? Show that you're supportive of his gaming. If you think he spends too much time, or too much money on it, support him anyways, and he'll really appreciate it. I started supporting my boyfriends gaming more and you know what he did? He started playing less, and spending more time just laying around watching TV with me, and doing other various, non-Street-Fighter-IV related things.

Some guys just spend more time being young at heart. Maybe your boyfriend is blowing money on video games instead of on other stuff, if you can't be supportive of it and deal with it, then you should take it upon yourself to leave, because you're not going to be able to do anything to change that, and you'll only put extreme amounts of stress on your relationship. Let him be young and enjoy his video games. We all have to grow up eventually, and there will come a time in his life where he's not going to have that luxury anymore, so just let him have it while he still can. Honestly, pleasing men is simple. Sometimes stuff like this is really all it takes for him to think "Man, my girlfriend is really awesome, supportive, and just the best girlfriend in the world."

[dearest.me]

IMO I think you should dump him. The way you make him sound, he doesn't even care about you in the slightest. Otherwise, talk to him about it...then dump him. I mean really, who holds video games over their girlfriend?

[sus]

i think its time to get a new bf
hes pretti inconsiderate n stuff

theres way better guys out ther
so let go of this one!

[ROCKiT]

the game is wow or something online. those things are seriously addicting. i think you should support it, it's hard to quit.

[jaeka]

My boy was in love with World of Warcraft. Oh, how I fought it. Give him the "It's WoW or me!" speech, even told him he had to stop playing, ignored him when he talked about it, ridiculed him about it...

Now I'm playing. ~_~ Serious case of, can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I think the reason he's acting so secretive about his game playing cuz it seems like if he mentions it, you'd blow your lid. Please ignore the "HE'S SO INCONSIDERATE, DUMP HIM" comments cause that's how we get so many "So, we've broken up" topics on here cause people don't give 2 seconds to try and sort stuff out.

As I ALWAYS say, talk to him about it. Say how you're feeling. Let HIM know. Come to a compromise, the guy obviously likes his games. He should calm down on it but not abandon it all together. If you guys don't have time to yourselfs, you'll not enjoy the relationship. I say compromise here. :\

[Malice_Kaiser]

Let me tell you something, my boyfriend plays some serious Street Fighter IV, and if it weren't for us getting together BEFORE the game came out, we probably never would have. He loves that game.
And you know what, if I gave MY boyfriend and ultimatum; me or the game, he would choose the game. Not because he doesn't love me, and not because he doesn't want this relationship, but because I'M childish enough to do something as ridiculous as put our entire relationship on the line because he wants to play a video game online for a couple of hours a day. By doing something like that, and showing an aggression because of it, he's not going to stop, in fact, he's just going to want to spend even less time with you, and more time with the game. Trust me, I went through the same exact thing months ago. He probably lies because you aren't supportive.

You know what you should do? Show that you're supportive of his gaming. If you think he spends too much time, or too much money on it, support him anyways, and he'll really appreciate it. I started supporting my boyfriends gaming more and you know what he did? He started playing less, and spending more time just laying around watching TV with me, and doing other various, non-Street-Fighter-IV related things.

Some guys just spend more time being young at heart. Maybe your boyfriend is blowing money on video games instead of on other stuff, if you can't be supportive of it and deal with it, then you should take it upon yourself to leave, because you're not going to be able to do anything to change that, and you'll only put extreme amounts of stress on your relationship. Let him be young and enjoy his video games. We all have to grow up eventually, and there will come a time in his life where he's not going to have that luxury anymore, so just let him have it while he still can. Honestly, pleasing men is simple. Sometimes stuff like this is really all it takes for him to think "Man, my girlfriend is really awesome, supportive, and just the best girlfriend in the world."

You can be as supportive as you want, but when your boyfriend skips out on his own girlfriends BIRTHDAY so he can play videogames, then I think that's a problem. This goes beyond just letting boys be boys, and it goes BEYOND simple addiction, because apparently he cares more about his games than he cares about her.
Sorry, but support has to go both ways. She should support that he likes games, but he should ALSO support HER in general.
I am also dating a gamer boyfriend and he loves me enough to find a balance between the two. I'm not saying deal him an ultimatum, but I also don't think you should just give in.

[Meenuh]

You can be as supportive as you want, but when your boyfriend skips out on his own girlfriends BIRTHDAY so he can play videogames, then I think that's a problem. This goes beyond just letting boys be boys, and it goes simple addiction, because apparently he cares more about his games than he cares about her.
Sorry, but support has to go both ways. She should support that he likes games, but he should ALSO support HER in general.
I am also dating a gamer boyfriend and he loves me enough to find a balance between the two. I'm not saying deal him an ultimatum, but I also don't think you should just give in.

I completely agree. I think a lot of people are completely missing the point. She doesn't have a problem with him playing video games. The whole point is that

1. He lies about it for no reason.
2. He doesn't even have the decency to spend a little money on her birthday but instead buys video games.
3. She pays for him to come see her and he won't even put off buying a few games and saving some money to HELP pay for the costs. She's not even asking him to buy the tickets himself. She's offering to help pay for it and he still says he "has no money" when he has money to buy new games.

I'm sorry but why should anyone have to be supportive of a guy like that? Should she continue paying for him to come see her? Be supportive? Hell NO. If she was just some girl whining about how her bf pays more attention to his video games than her then i'd probably say things similar to what everyone has been saying but that is not the case.

I'd tell you to break up with him but I don't know your situation well enough to tell you to do that. Besides, if you really like being with this guy, I don't think it'd be right to break up with him on a whim without having a proper talk about what's bothering you first. What I will say is that you should definetly talk to him about it. Ask him why he lies about playing games. Ask him why he doesn't feel like he should help pay for visits and expenses and yet he should buy himself new games. Have a good talk and get everything out and go on from there.

[xxmeow]

i suggest that you dont take the "dump him" advice first.
unless you really, really can't take it anymore.

my ex was a gamer too.
he lied to me about playing games too.
the game he was soooo addicted to was "World Of Warcraft".
and because of him, i hate WoW to the core of hell. lol.
he usually went like "imma go to bed now, nights bii ^^ <3"
but instead, he'd go off to a cyber cafe to play WoW with his friends. (that costs a lot of money too consider the hours be plays a day >>)
however, he spends a lot of time with me because i dont limit his playing, i guess.
i guess you should be more supportive of him, that way, he'll be more supportive of you.
try to pull him out of his addiction.

but yeah, him not paying is a big no no >>
maybe if you buy some games for him, he'll be more willing to fork out some cash for you o_o

[aubrei]

why dont you just tell him how you feel?
communicate with him.

[donporkuloin]

Let me tell you something, my boyfriend plays some serious Street Fighter IV, and if it weren't for us getting together BEFORE the game came out, we probably never would have. He loves that game.
And you know what, if I gave MY boyfriend and ultimatum; me or the game, he would choose the game. Not because he doesn't love me, and not because he doesn't want this relationship, but because I'M childish enough to do something as ridiculous as put our entire relationship on the line because he wants to play a video game online for a couple of hours a day. By doing something like that, and showing an aggression because of it, he's not going to stop, in fact, he's just going to want to spend even less time with you, and more time with the game. Trust me, I went through the same exact thing months ago. He probably lies because you aren't supportive.

You know what you should do? Show that you're supportive of his gaming. If you think he spends too much time, or too much money on it, support him anyways, and he'll really appreciate it. I started supporting my boyfriends gaming more and you know what he did? He started playing less, and spending more time just laying around watching TV with me, and doing other various, non-Street-Fighter-IV related things.

Some guys just spend more time being young at heart. Maybe your boyfriend is blowing money on video games instead of on other stuff, if you can't be supportive of it and deal with it, then you should take it upon yourself to leave, because you're not going to be able to do anything to change that, and you'll only put extreme amounts of stress on your relationship. Let him be young and enjoy his video games. We all have to grow up eventually, and there will come a time in his life where he's not going to have that luxury anymore, so just let him have it while he still can. Honestly, pleasing men is simple. Sometimes stuff like this is really all it takes for him to think "Man, my girlfriend is really awesome, supportive, and just the best girlfriend in the world."

There has to be some middle ground. Like her bf should not be lying to her like that. The lying can develop into something worse later on in the relationship. If he becomes more honest about stuff then she should try giving him some support. Video games are great! They are material possessions though. I agree with a lot of posts you've had in the past, but a guy putting a video game before his gf isn't cool. When a girl is ok with saying if the video game came out before he met me we wouldn't be together. That screams low self esteem on the female's part. That screams that the guy views you as a side option, and you're A ok with that. I hope you work on that before your next relationship, because it would suck to be in a cycle of something repetitive. Not trying to be offensive. Just saying what's on my mind.

[Gofishus]

I don't if it's a big deal but my bf consistently lies about playing games...I ask him if he has played games recently and he says no. I found out he made a purchase yesterday $15 for an online game. He says he has no money and all that and never bothers to buy me any gifts...not even for my birthday yet he has these extra money to buy games for himself. I always pay for his airplane tickets and other expenses for his visits and I ask if he can help me pay for some of the ticket and he says he doesn't have any money to spare. I just want him to tell the truth, I don't care if he plays or not but it's the lying aspect that upsets me. What should I do?

That's not right. I wouldn't even let a girl pay for my dinner, let alone a plane ticket.

[fredinsac]

Let me tell you something, my boyfriend plays some serious Street Fighter IV, and if it weren't for us getting together BEFORE the game came out, we probably never would have. He loves that game.
And you know what, if I gave MY boyfriend and ultimatum; me or the game, he would choose the game. Not because he doesn't love me, and not because he doesn't want this relationship, but because I'M childish enough to do something as ridiculous as put our entire relationship on the line because he wants to play a video game online for a couple of hours a day. By doing something like that, and showing an aggression because of it, he's not going to stop, in fact, he's just going to want to spend even less time with you, and more time with the game. Trust me, I went through the same exact thing months ago. He probably lies because you aren't supportive.

You know what you should do? Show that you're supportive of his gaming. If you think he spends too much time, or too much money on it, support him anyways, and he'll really appreciate it. I started supporting my boyfriends gaming more and you know what he did? He started playing less, and spending more time just laying around watching TV with me, and doing other various, non-Street-Fighter-IV related things.

Some guys just spend more time being young at heart. Maybe your boyfriend is blowing money on video games instead of on other stuff, if you can't be supportive of it and deal with it, then you should take it upon yourself to leave, because you're not going to be able to do anything to change that, and you'll only put extreme amounts of stress on your relationship. Let him be young and enjoy his video games. We all have to grow up eventually, and there will come a time in his life where he's not going to have that luxury anymore, so just let him have it while he still can. Honestly, pleasing men is simple. Sometimes stuff like this is really all it takes for him to think "Man, my girlfriend is really awesome, supportive, and just the best girlfriend in the world."

^^I agree with this 100%. There are a lot of great boyfriends, husbands, and fathers out there who still play video games. BUT, a big but, the guy also has to know when enough is enough because if he doesn't then the relationship will never work.

In your case though it isn't the gaming that is the issue. The real issue is that he doesn't put any effort towards your relationship. Does he even have a job cause it kinda sounds like he doesn't. I also hope that you're not OFFERING to pay for his transportation cause then the fault lies on you and him. Him for letting you and you for doing so. The only ultimatum you should give him is that he start putting more effort into the relationship or the relationship will end.

[peppermintsugar]

There has to be some middle ground. Like her bf should not be lying to her like that. The lying can develop into something worse later on in the relationship. If he becomes more honest about stuff then she should try giving him some support. Video games are great! They are material possessions though. I agree with a lot of posts you've had in the past, but a guy putting a video game before his gf isn't cool. When a girl is ok with saying if the video game came out before he met me we wouldn't be together. That screams low self esteem on the female's part. That screams that the guy views you as a side option, and you're A ok with that. I hope you work on that before your next relationship, because it would suck to be in a cycle of something repetitive. Not trying to be offensive. Just saying what's on my mind.

Lol, no it doesn't, it says that if it weren't for meeting me, my boyfriend would be 100% indulged in the gaming scene, and wouldn't be looking for a girlfriend/dating. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way about any point in your life.
We also don't really know the entirety of the situation, we just know this girls feelings about the situation, and not the side of the guys, and if he wants to be a kid still and not work on both, then there's really nothing wrong with that, and if she doesn't want to deal with it, then she doesn't have to. I just don't see why everyone is jumping all over this guy when the majority of posters on Soompi are high school kids who, logically, would rather play video games than be in serious relationships.