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#1 User is offline   Miss Vivienne 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 08:44 PM

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#2 User is offline   spiral_flare 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 08:49 PM

Honestly, being the one who does the rejecting is just as bad as being rejected. Both are difficult positions to be in (I've been in both). Sure it was mean that you told him you'd give him a chance and then just said no right after, but we all make mistakes. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're gonna feel really horrible for a little bit, but give it some time. The good thing is, that you learned something from it. In the future when someone asks you out and you don't like them, tell them right away. Don't make them wait because that gives them hope, so when you turn them down later it will hurt more.
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#3 User is offline   MiiCKYO0CHUNx3 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 08:54 PM

Being rejected is going to happen someday. But I wish you would have corrected yourself the minute you "jumbled" your words so it wouldn't have dragged on for a day.

Don't worry so much about it, he'll get over it.
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#4 User is offline   donporkuloin 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:15 PM

Wow. Way 2 go on jumbling the words. Wonders if you told him you jumbled the words?
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#5 User is offline   Miss Vivienne 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:16 PM

^ Thanks a lot, fellow soompiers. smile.gif
I really appreciate the time you guys took to write a response, haha.

Sigh... what do I do... when I see him on Monday... I hope we can just pretend like this never happened.

EDIT: Well... I said yes... but I meant no... but his face was happy... I was just suddenly in this state of oh-dear-what-did-I-just-do but I couldn't be like... I MEANT NO, LOL.

It was a bad decision by going along with it. I know some fault is on me. :/
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#6 User is offline   spiral_flare 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:22 PM

It's gonna be a little awkward at first, but trust me, it's worse in your head than it will be in real life on Monday. Try not to think about it too much.
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#7 User is offline   Murdaaa 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:24 PM

sucks for you. now hes gonna come back and punch you in the face.
I was flyin, now im crashin.
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#8 User is offline   Ninshark 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:38 PM

I had a crazy midterm yesterday, we probably feel the same poop right now.
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#9 User is offline   >>GazettE<< 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:45 PM

Oh my, i was gonna post something like this!! totally know how that feels! except.....i still havn't told her that "i meant no" D=

....And mine is even worse...she has been liking me for awhile..and recently we were pretty close...and at one instance idk what was wrong with me i thought i should try, so i asked her to be my gf >.<" and after that i was thinking the SAME THING as u did >< then few days later she started talking to me as if we couples......omg....after reading your story im even more afraid to tell her the truth! Dx Any replies for me? ><
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#10 User is offline   Miss Vivienne 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (Murdaaa @ Nov 6 2009, 09:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sucks for you. now hes gonna come back and punch you in the face.




other than that @Gazette: Wow... you're deeper than me. D:
Well, the only thing you can do now is hope that you can actually get to like her... or make your decision quickly. The more you drag on... the worse it may get.
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#11 User is offline   piinkcess 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 08:13 AM

it'll get better after a while but it'll be so awkward for the time being.
For me, I didn't really reject but made up a really terrible lie/excuse which was so blatantly a lie that i'm pretty sure he saw right through it. And i felt really bad afterwards, that i ended up missing lectures for that unit for the rest of the semester cos' he and i were the only ones that we knew and i didn't know how to deal with it.... sad.gif and had to do ilectures instead....... ughhhh.

But its ok now, we wave and make small talk. lol
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#12 User is offline   myxo 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 11:53 AM

Well, the fact is, u did crush him. However, at least u did it sooner than later. Imagine how much worse that look on his face would look if u told him u weren't interested a week, or heck, even a month later. Pat urself on the back because it's over with now. If he can't handle it, boo for him, cuz he's a big boy now and he should be able to handle rejection. And now this, it's not ur fault for not liking someone back. Never ur fault. The only thing that u'd beat urself over is if u innappropriately dealt with someone's feelings, and in this case, u didn't really.
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#13 User is offline   ElectroHime 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 03:12 PM

It's ok. Of course you would feel bad for him, and of course he would be hurt. Love cycle.
It's your first time getting asked out? dont worry so much about it, i screwed up too but with me i REALLY liked the guy.
In the future , you'll go through these situation (having to reject a guy/guys) again.
It's a good thing you told him the next day, he's hurt, but he's human , you scarred his heart but it'll heal and he'll move on.
When i was in 6th-7th grade i felt really bad about turning guys down too.
I've turned down guys, and some of them hated me.
or say things like "WHY?!" and reasons reason when i reject them.

Not really your fault, or anyone's here.
You were nervous, and jumbled up your words. OK!

But it's good to reflect a bit on this and know what to do better next time.
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#14 User is offline   Gullwings 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 03:44 PM

trust me smile.gif he will get over it smile.gif I know that because my best guy friend confessed to my best girl friend lol....and she rejected him....^^; after some months he got a girlfriend smile.gif and they've been together for half a year now ^^
so don't worry to much smile.gif I think it would be worst if you had no feelings for him and date him Oo,,
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#15 User is offline   Lie 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 03:51 PM

I never really got the "rejecting someone is just as bad as being rejected" argument that people often make. In one case you're telling someone they're not good enough, in the other you're the one being told you're not good enough. The second is infinitely more depressing.

Might be that I'm a guy so I don't get it, though. It sort of reminds me of when girls complain about getting hit on. With the exception of guys who are being vulgar or crossing personal physical boundaries, don't really get how that could be a bad thing ever.
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#16 User is offline   jsp 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 04:14 PM

QUOTE (Lie @ Nov 7 2009, 03:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I never really got the "rejecting someone is just as bad as being rejected" argument that people often make. In one case you're telling someone they're not good enough, in the other you're the one being told you're not good enough. The second is infinitely more depressing.

Might be that I'm a guy so I don't get it, though. It sort of reminds me of when girls complain about getting hit on. With the exception of guys who are being vulgar or crossing personal physical boundaries, don't really get how that could be a bad thing ever.



Completely agreed.
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#17 User is offline   xjuiiccy 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 05:13 PM

You did the right thing by telling him asap. Think of how crushed he'll feel if you kept on "dating" him for a long time, and then finally find out you're not interested in him at all. He'll get over it. Stop feeling bad.

能够遇到自己喜欢的人是一件最辛福的事
所以你一定要好好珍惜 -- 無論遇到任何问题
都不要輕易放弃 ~~ 只要你爱他就任何问题都可以解决

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#18 User is offline   teelee 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 09:04 PM

QUOTE (Lie @ Nov 7 2009, 03:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I never really got the "rejecting someone is just as bad as being rejected" argument that people often make. In one case you're telling someone they're not good enough, in the other you're the one being told you're not good enough. The second is infinitely more depressing.

Might be that I'm a guy so I don't get it, though. It sort of reminds me of when girls complain about getting hit on. With the exception of guys who are being vulgar or crossing personal physical boundaries, don't really get how that could be a bad thing ever.


Disagreed.

People should stop taking a rejection personally. For one, I have a strict no dating policy this year, which means I said no to everyone that asked, if they all took it as if I think they're not good enough, I would have a very limited number of friends. When people get rejected, it isn't because they're not good enough, most people just aren't compatible. There are numerous different types of good people, just because they do not match in personality/sex it does not mean one is more superior than the other.

And getting (seriously, not jokingly) hit on by friends is worse than vulgar old creepers, because it is awkward and hard to ignore.
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#19 User is offline   Lie 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 09:07 PM

QUOTE (teelee @ Nov 8 2009, 12:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
People should stop taking a rejection personally. For one, I have a strict no dating policy this year, which means I said no to everyone that asked, if they all took it as if I think they're not good enough, I would have a very limited number of friends. When people get rejected, it isn't because they're not good enough, most people just aren't compatible. There are numerous different types of good people, just because they do not match in personality/sex it does not mean one is more superior than the other.

And getting (seriously, not jokingly) hit on by friends is worse that vulgar old creepers, because it is just awkward, and hard to ignore.

What it might mean to get rejected and how 98% of people take it are completely different things, though. Of course people should be so self-aware as to realize that being turned down isn't necessarily a calling into question of their personal worth. However, in reality, when you reject someone it's very unlikely that they're going to be thinking, "Oh, she must have felt that we aren't that compatible, well alright, I'm fine with that." They're just going to feel like garbage, and they're going to wonder what's wrong with them that you don't like them back.

Additionally, feeling awkward around someone isn't quite on the same level as feeling like you're not good enough, which was my original point.
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#20 User is offline   -stitch- 

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 09:42 PM

haha wow...I think you should of just told him you'll think about it and give him an answer later but since you've crossed the bridge already you can't do anything but let it go. Hopefully, you guys can still be friends? It's not easy to turn someone down and feel content about it but it's better than to lead them on. I totally understand where you're coming from because I had to turn down a really good friend of mines who liked me for 3 years? I had no idea until I heard from another friend! After that we never talked sad.gif hopefully your situation can end up better than mines did.
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